Is any one else going crazy? - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 24 Old 06-23-2008, 11:36 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I am annoying myself in a way that I haven't experienced since I was in middle school. It is hard to explain, but I feel like I have absolutely no control over my emotions, or any of my impulses. Generally I am a super relaxed, go with the flow kinda gal, but the past couple weeks everything annoys me, and I even cursed out my car mechanic, granted it was for a good reason, but really, I'm out-of-control.

Is this just part of the process? I've heard other mommas say that they've gone through an agro stage before giving birth, but is this true for everyone?

I really want to let it all go and be able to feel comfortable on an emotional level, but I don't even know where to begin. I'll be 38 weeks on Thursday and cannot imagine feeling this way for an additional 2+ weeks.

Does anyone have any ideas for how to let go a little?

Julia, mama to Bumpa 2008, and The Mole 2011

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#2 of 24 Old 06-24-2008, 12:13 AM
 
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If you figure it out, please let me know! I am the same way! Ready to bite EVERYONE's head off. I wasn't that way my first pregnancy that I cn recall, but I know I was last time and FOR SURE this time!

And my poor DH doesn't even know that he bugs me SOOO much right now! Not any one thing, but in general, I could CLOBBER HIM! Ooooooo is he bugging me! Good thing he doesn't know because I would not be able to even give him an explanation of why I feel like I wanna wring his neck! (Maybe because I am frustrated with the whole bedrest thing? I can't get up but he gets to go wherever he wants and do whatever he wants? I dunno. That might be it! LOL)

Wife to Kevin (8-1-98)
: Proud Momma to Katelyn (4-02), Calvin (4-06), and Ashley (7-08) :
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#3 of 24 Old 06-24-2008, 12:17 AM
 
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i feel that way, too. i am a mess. and i am crying like, all the time. i can't believe my family has to put up with me. and i still have a long time to go before this baby is born, i think. :/
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#4 of 24 Old 06-24-2008, 01:52 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by delicious View Post
i can't believe my family has to put up with me. :/
uggg I know what you mean, when I do have moments of clarity, I feel horrible for my DH who is so gracious about putting up with me. I can't even put up with me!!

Julia, mama to Bumpa 2008, and The Mole 2011

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#5 of 24 Old 06-24-2008, 02:03 AM
 
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I have, since the beginning, compared being pregnant to going through puberty. It feels pretty much the same to me. I have no control over my emotions, I'm completely frustrated with my body and am very socially awkward! It's all coming back to me.

Nik! Mama to Evelynn Rose 08/19/08 and Autumn Lily 11/02/10
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#6 of 24 Old 06-24-2008, 02:07 AM - Thread Starter
 
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That is interesting to compare it to puberty, I too feel very socially awkward. I imagine menopause isn't that different either!!!!

Julia, mama to Bumpa 2008, and The Mole 2011

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#7 of 24 Old 06-24-2008, 02:17 AM
 
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Originally Posted by goldingoddess View Post
That is interesting to compare it to puberty, I too feel very socially awkward. I imagine menopause isn't that different either!!!!


My grandmother once told me when I was 14 or so and completely down about the whole puberty thing... "Get used to it, it will happen to you many more times in your life."

And WTF is up with guys only having to go through it once ever. How lame is that?

My social inabilities are out of control lately. Situations that I once tolerated with grace are now met with obnoxious hostility. For example, my MIL has this "cousin," who is not really her cousin, who practically lives at her house and is basically the most annoying old man in the universe (he hangs out there because his kids can't stand him and kick him out).

When I eat dinner over there, I usually just ignore this annoying old man but lately I just can't tolerate it. He is constantly picking at his face and cleaning out under his nails at dinner when there is food on the table! Last time I just said, "Stop doing that before I puke all over the place, please."

Everyone was very shocked.

Nik! Mama to Evelynn Rose 08/19/08 and Autumn Lily 11/02/10
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#8 of 24 Old 06-24-2008, 03:00 AM
 
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I am absolutely insane in general, but I'm having a moment and really need to vent it all before I truly explode.

For the past week, I have said a few times that I really wish there was a pregnancy suit that we could rent for the men to wear for a day just so they could fully appreciate the little things that become so damn difficult and painful at the end of pregnancy, like rolling over in bed, or reaching across the counter to get into a cabinet, or kneeling at a church, or unloading the dishwasher.

Tonight, my partner tells me that he is truly appalled and troubled by my "masochistic and meanspirited desire for him to experience my pain." He feels that my desire for him to truly feel what I'm going through is "sick and twisted, and downright alarming." His words - not mine.

His comments make me so enraged that I want to tantrum like my 2 yr old. Kicking, screaming, flailing out-and-out tantrum. I feel like an absolute crazy person. I am so furious with him that I don't want to be in the same room with him even to sleep. All I can do is sit and cry and get angrier and angrier. And now of course, I have the added component of being seriously over tired since I'm far too wound up to sleep.

While I do believe his reaction to my wish that he could truly empathize is pretty crappy, I recognize that I am reacting much more harshly than I would in any normal situation. I cannot wait to have my body and my emotions back. I am so needing to be a rational person again.
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#9 of 24 Old 06-24-2008, 03:22 AM
 
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Tonight, my partner tells me that he is truly appalled and troubled by my "masochistic and meanspirited desire for him to experience my pain." He feels that my desire for him to truly feel what I'm going through is "sick and twisted, and downright alarming." His words - not mine.
OMG PUNCH HIM IN THE BALLS, seriously. Herniate him.

The nerve! As if you are the only one who carries the burden of the child. Honestly!

I wouldn't let him near me during labor. If you can't empathize, you can't be there for the birth.

I don't think you're over reacting at all.

I guess he just doesn't understand. I tell DH that I wish he knew what it was like. I don't want him to experience actual physical pain, I just want him to know why I complain so much and why it's so difficult to do things, you know? It's because if he knew what it was like then I wouldn't feel so guilty about asking for help.

Nik! Mama to Evelynn Rose 08/19/08 and Autumn Lily 11/02/10
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#10 of 24 Old 06-24-2008, 03:29 AM
 
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I kinda like the assertiveness I exude now - like telling a teacher at my child's school how inconveniencing she was being telling me the night before that my child won a contest and had to be somewhere the next day not realizing how hard it is to plan to get around with 2 DDs and a huge belly in the heat!......being non-pg I woulda sucked it up and gotten angry inwardly and not shown a hint of anxiety.
Now I tell people what's on my mind, and if it's rude? They only need look at the huge belly to understand!
DH's will understand and once it's all over you can make up for it. (except maybe the PP who wants to herniate or punch him in the balls! LOL)

Jenn (36), wife to DH for 13 years, DD1(13) , DD2(10) and DS(4)

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#11 of 24 Old 06-24-2008, 04:03 AM
 
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Ah, yes, the desire for empathy is downright alarming
I don't blame you for being so upset, Beth.

I am feeling quite grumpy right now, too. I've been mostly ok, but this evening poor dh's presence has annoyed the living CRAP out of me. He's been working 12 hour days and has missed me when he gets home, and I just wanted him to stay away from me tonight. Fortunately he had to go to bed early to get up again in the morning for another 12 hours.

And tomorrow is our anniversary. I felt like the least I could do would be to go snuggle with him for a little while or something when he went to bed, but the thought of doing that was really about the last thing I wanted to do. So I didn't.

I flipped out momentarily yesterday, too, cause the box of vanilla wafers spilled. I really upset ds2 who had to witness me banging the box around. I felt like such a jerk. I wasn't mad AT anyone in particular, just in general at the situation. But man, he just got really upset, and I felt like the biggest @sshole.
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#12 of 24 Old 06-24-2008, 04:16 AM
 
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Originally Posted by holothuroidea View Post
OMG PUNCH HIM IN THE BALLS, seriously. Herniate him.

I don't think you're over reacting at all.

LOL! Thanks for making me laugh - I needed it desperately!

I don't want to punch him in the balls, and I know I've portrayed him to be far more piggish than he really is. He is generally very sympathetic and since I've basically been in bed for a month with severe pubic pain - he's doing almost everything for our family. I think he was most offended by my vocalization of the wish because of how much he does for us and how little he asks for. I know there are many men who are FAR less understanding and supportive than he and I am grateful for that.

I just wish he'd figure out when to SHUT UP (seriously, arguing with an emotional 38 wk. preggo is really as sensical as arguing with an overtired toddler) and just let me say/wish/dream/fantasize whatever I please right now when I'm so outrageously emotional and uncomfortable. Yes, I am being selfish and b*tchy right now - but again, if he truly knew what this felt like - maybe he'd understand why! I wish he could understand so that I wouldn't have to feel so crappy for having such out-of-control emotions. He doesn't see it that way and that's what's made me so angry. Perhaps I'll have greater success explaining my sentiments tomorrow after I get some sleep...and maybe by then, he'll have some sense about when to simply SHUT UP!
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#13 of 24 Old 06-24-2008, 04:34 AM
 
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Hey Beth, this is why women get pregnant instead of men! Seriously I don't think they would be able to handle it, physically or mentally. LOL I'm having a zen day and it's such a nice break from my usual craziness. Usually I am pissed off, angry, and tired.
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#14 of 24 Old 06-24-2008, 08:58 AM
 
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Yesterday, I vacillated between feeling really angry and sobbing. I feel bad for my ds, who misses non-crazy mom. I haven't cried yet today! But it's only 8 am.
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#15 of 24 Old 06-24-2008, 09:08 AM
 
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I've been pretty "sane" so far, but then yesterday a friend of mine posted the latest Where the Heck is Matt? video and I totally cried like a little girl.

I mean really.

Charlotte, mommy to Maggie (July 15th 2008) and Una (July 19th 2011)!
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#16 of 24 Old 06-24-2008, 09:44 AM
 
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Oh, I'm so right here with all of you. Sometimes I'm really quite myself. Other times, I just want to cry, feel sorry for myself, or am just SO overwhelmed by simple tasks that I make myself all pissed off or bawling!

Quote:
Originally Posted by goldingoddess View Post
Does anyone have any ideas for how to let go a little?
I think we just ride it out to the end... and pray those around us remember our former selves & just love & support us right now!

Spark and her four firecrackers.
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#17 of 24 Old 06-24-2008, 10:27 AM
 
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Most of the time I've felt much more even keel than I am non-pregnant, but the other day I totally lost it at a phone service person. We were canceling our land lines and going with Skype (computer-based) and our cells. She tried to argue me into keeping the service "bc what will I do if the power goes out?" The stupid b*tch! I said if the power goes out we can't use our land line. Cancel the service, please! I had to repeat it about 6x and she kept interrupting me.

I started getting really emotional and my voice was shaking. I HATE that! I hope I don't do that at the hospital if they start trying to insist on some intervention.

Lucky wife to DH and mom to DS (10/02) and sweet DD (7/08) and DSD (3/93) and assorted animalia
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#18 of 24 Old 06-24-2008, 11:09 AM
 
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The "I have enough to cope with, I don't have to put up with your crap" attitude.

My favorite story is from my baby shower with #1. First off, after all the guests left, the family was all planning on going out to dinner. I needed to get OUT of there because the house was so hot. FIL wanted to sit around and gab, instead. So DH and I declared we were leaving, whether or not anyone was going with us. <g>

Then we got to the restaurant, and there was like a 45 minute wait. By this time, I'm hot, tired, and HUNGRY. DH stepped up to the plate, grabbed a waitress, and "explained" the situation. I promptly received a nice glass of water and a bowl of rolls, which I proceeded to eat right there in the lobby, in front of all the other hungry people, and didn't feel a bit of guilt.

It helps that DH has figured out that it's better to indulge my momentary whims than risk a full-scale meltdown. If sometimes I feel like he treats me like a toddler, it's worth it.
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#19 of 24 Old 06-24-2008, 11:40 AM
 
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Originally Posted by KC in KS View Post
It helps that DH has figured out that it's better to indulge my momentary whims than risk a full-scale meltdown. If sometimes I feel like he treats me like a toddler, it's worth it.
I love love love this! Thanks for the smile!!!
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#20 of 24 Old 06-24-2008, 11:48 AM
 
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I too have been "expressing myself" a lot lately. I feel like I want to kill DH all of the time. I chak it up to not being able to sleep, bend over, walk, eat comfortably and having 5 weeks left, my daughter being diagnosed with a vomiting disorder, and my street being torn up. I was not like this with my last at all, so it is a new thing for me to be raging out of control. I do give myself time every night outside looking into the park our back yard is backed up to...total silence is beautiful for the soul these days!

I was hoping it was a sign I might go into labor myself this time, but am not counting on it. At least when baby comes things will be peaceful again...I hope!
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#21 of 24 Old 06-24-2008, 11:54 AM
 
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It helps that DH has figured out that it's better to indulge my momentary whims than risk a full-scale meltdown. If sometimes I feel like he treats me like a toddler, it's worth it.
I think I want to take up needle point and make myself a big wall hanging that has this quote on it, KC!

Spark and her four firecrackers.
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#22 of 24 Old 06-24-2008, 04:39 PM
 
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I have been feeling the same way!! My DH calls this the "Mama Bear Syndrome". I'm so feisty lately. The smallest thing will make me want to fight. Especially when it comes to my DH or baby, I feel very protective.

Mama to DS 7/23/08.
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#23 of 24 Old 06-24-2008, 07:26 PM
 
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I am totally there - my mom has flown out from crosscountry to be here when the baby is born and so far she has been here a week and no baby. We have had a lot of fun, but her flight home is scheduled for tomorrow and now I think I'm mentally stalling out my own labor! Then I try to not stall it out and it's just frustrating. I feel bad since I am the oldest and mom has a ton of responsibilties at home so just sitting out here is probably stressing her out and I'm feeling like a watched pot. The good is that in the last couple days it looks like my body *might* be preparing to go into labor (strong BH with a different feeling, cleaning out of the system) - but I haven't tipped over the edge into full blown labor yet. I'm about ready to go crawl into a cave somewhere and just wait until the baby comes.

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#24 of 24 Old 06-24-2008, 07:32 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Spark View Post
I think we just ride it out to the end... and pray those around us remember our former selves & just love & support us right now!
that is totally how i feel...like i'm just waiting this out.

i can't seem to get excited about birth or anything. i was last time...now i just want to hold my baby, i don't feel like i care much about the rest.
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