Dh goes back to work tomorrow... - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 3 Old 07-06-2008, 12:14 PM - Thread Starter
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Our baby is only 5 days old today, and dh has only taken 3 actual days off work (I'm not counting the time he would have had off on July 4th, or the weekend). It's not that his work is making him come back. He has a lot of responsibility there, and feels that his presence is needed there. If he really wanted to, he could take more time off. You should know I'm married to a workaholic, and even during my last days/weeks of pregnancy he'd only come home when it was close to midnight, and usually he's work on sundays also. He does not get paid the extra overtime.
So, I'm currently sitting here in a puddle of self-pity, close to tears because I'm not really ready for him to leave, I don't think. Taking 3 days off for a child's birth is pathetic, in my not-humble-at-all opinion.
I'm so tempted right now to throw all of my emotional maturity out the window and start crying and hurling a bunch of passive-aggressive comments dh's way. I know if I do he'll just get angry at me right back, and then we'll both be in a bad mood for the extra day I may be able to get out of him. That's not really what I want, either......
Then again, I'm thinking, what has he really done, to make a difference with my postpartum recovery? Okay, he shops and runs errands (not that many), and he's been making most of the meals. While I appreciate that, and think it's nice, he's also put the kids in front of the TV (they are 10, 8, and 5) for hours every day, and he'll usually sit in front of the TV right along with them! He had promised me to have the house clean before our baby's birth. But he kept putting it off, thinking we had plenty of time. Now she's 5 days old, and he still hasn't done much cleaning (just some laundry and basic tasks like dishes and wiping the counters occasionally). So, I'm thinking I should stop holding my breath. This man is not going to really help with cleaning after all. I did get him to wipe the toilet seat in our bathroom when I told him I didn't feel comfortable sitting on a dirty toilet seat (it's not technically dirty, I just don't remember the last time it was actually cleaned), and he grumpily wiped it down. That's it, he just wiped it down! My 5-year old could have done that....
So, maybe I'm better off with him just going back to work after all. Thankfully my kids are older (it'd be much harder with a toddler in the house), and they can help me with little things.
Zoe has an appt. to see the pediatrician tomorrow. So, it will be our first outing "alone". She's a calm baby and all, but I'm still feeling a bit stressed over the fact I'll be taking her out without dh's assistance with the car seat and all. I'm going to wash my old slings today, and will start wearing her in one of those for the appt.
Thank you for reading if you made it this far! I feel a bit better getting my thoughts and feelings down like this.

Mom of 4
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#2 of 3 Old 07-06-2008, 01:08 PM
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I'm sorry, I would feel put out too.

Is there any room in the budget to have a cleaning person come and clean the house for you? I really understand the need for a clean house, I am totally like that.

I hope the pedi appt goes well and I'm sorry for your stress.

Maybe put those kids to work cleaning

Jenna in love with my DH Jon, loving our 2.5 year old, Caroline Tulip, and expecting another little one in August!
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#3 of 3 Old 07-06-2008, 02:53 PM
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Oh - BTDT. Even *if* my dh takes a whole 5 days off after a birth he really doesn't do anything around the house. When I had my sixth baby (at home) he brought up clean laundry and dumped it on the bed less than twelve hours after I had given birth and said I could fold since I was just "sitting there" anyway. My saving grace this time is that my older kids (16, 11.5. and 10) are SO helpful. They clean the bathrooms, do the vacuuming, and clean the kitchen. I think I'm going to offer to pay them to do extra chores and dh can just go back to work.

I'm so sorry you have to deal wtih this right now. I'm hoping to enjoy my new baby more this time and not focus so much on being p*ssed. Hopefully you can do the same!!
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