Helpful advice for those that forget and 1st timers! - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 21 Old 07-17-2008, 10:20 AM - Thread Starter
 
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We had a thread like this earlier on but I think maybe it was too early on. Now with a good chunk of moms having done the labour/deliver/aftermath thing and those still pg with a good memory of past babies, maybe we could post a few tips and helpful hints for those 1st timers or moms like me in denial of what it all entails again?
Anything having to do with what helped them in labour (hospital or at home!) and post baby tips.

What worked for me in labour was totally using that focal point "they" talk about. If I closed my eyes the contractions would overwhelm me but if DH was over my face making me look at his eyes and copy his breathing it was a smooth running ship!
Post baby the best advice was sleep while baby sleeps and don't worry about housework. Take help when offered.

Jenn (36), wife to DH for 13 years, DD1(13) , DD2(10) and DS(4)

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#2 of 21 Old 07-17-2008, 10:23 AM
 
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i think this thread would help me a lot...i feel like the baby is waiting on me to be ready and im just such a nervous first time mom....thanks for posting.
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#3 of 21 Old 07-17-2008, 12:30 PM
 
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During labor I just kept repeating the same things over and over - sometimes out loud, sometimes in my head. I just kept saying "My body was meant to do this" and "We've been doing this since the beginning of time"

That helped me to stay focused, calm and resolute in my desire to birth naturally.

I also found that I wasn't able to focus on anything external really, but rather I just need to go inside myself, so having those things on 'repeat' in my mind was what worked for me.

After baby's arrival - accept help, accept that you will not shower/primp/clean your house on any given day and that's completely normal and reasonable, visit with friends and family while nursing and sleep every other possible minute (while they do laundry/cook/clean/take pictures)

The hardest thing for me was accepting that I wasn't Supermom like I imagined some people are - but adjusting my image of what Supermom is. I thought I needed to be up, showered, made up, entertaining, cleaning, writing thank you notes, etc. Now I know that to truly be a Supermom, I needed to completely devote myself to getting to know my baby, by spending as much time nursing, snuggling, absorbing that sweet fresh baby smell and staying rested (and subsequently sane ) as possible. It was a major lesson in letting go for me, and I look forward to this post-partum experience being smoother because I know what to expect and more importantly, what not to expect from myself.
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#4 of 21 Old 07-17-2008, 01:15 PM
 
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*My birthing/yoga ball was a lifesaver for me while in labor...and slooooowwww, deep breathing the entire time...I had her in 3 hours from start to finish and was the most empowering experience in my life! Our bodies were made to do this!!
*Yes, sleep when the baby sleeps!! So cliche, but sooo necessary! And one of my friends gave me a great tip regarding nighttime diaper changes...change the baby before you nurse/feed...this way you don't have to wake the nursed-back-to-sleep-babe up for a diaper change!
Invest in a sling and wear that baby! My dd lived in her sling! So convenient for getting things done...grocery shopping, etc...and they're always so close to you!
*Feed the baby before any and all car rides!! Otherwise, he/she will decide they're starving to death 2 minutes down the road! I did a lot of pulling over to nurse at first! And feed the baby before in the parking lot before you go into the grocery store...same thing...they'll decide they're starving to death only when your grocery cart is totally full!
*Yes you can still take a shower everyday if you wish!!! Just put the baby in a bouncy chair on your bathroom floor and hop right in! With #1, in the beginning, I was always waiting for my husband to get home from work to clean up! Too funny!
*I'd say, that for the first 6 weeks after your baby is born is the biggest transition period...You'll be learning how often you'll be changing their diaper, how often they need to eat, etc...My advice would be ~ when in doubt, feed them!! They like to eat a lot!!!
*Get outside everyday no matter what! The fresh air does wonders for your mental health!!!
Hugs to all!
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#5 of 21 Old 07-17-2008, 02:04 PM
 
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@mtnmiss, awesome advice! especially the part about getting outside. I'm increasingly antsy as Baby approaches and it's good to have some positive advice to focus on.
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#6 of 21 Old 07-17-2008, 02:13 PM
 
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Cut corners where you need to and don't feel guilty.

Throw the clothes in the dryer instead of trekking the heavy basket down 2 flights of stairs to the clothesline. Use paper plates and paper napkins for dinner. Frozen premade dinners and take out. Swiffer the floor instead of vacuuming. Ask for help, get a sling, take a shower EVERY DAY. That was the lifesaver for me, I needed those minutes ALONE. Even if the baby is sitting in the bouncer in the bathroom. I needed a shower.

I found that nursing on demand, was a life saver. I had this baby who never cried... he was either nursing, or asleep... haha.... learn to nurse and wear your baby at the same time, it was almost TOO easy.... hahaha....

Michelle ~
Mama to ~ Finnegan(10/06) ~ Samuel (7/08) ~ Henry (2/11) ~ He's here! joy.gif Baxter (11/12)

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#7 of 21 Old 07-17-2008, 02:31 PM
 
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Such helpful advice. I'm a first time mom as well and don't know what to expect or what to do from this point forward.

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#8 of 21 Old 07-17-2008, 02:42 PM
 
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Originally Posted by AKA_PI View Post
Such helpful advice. I'm a first time mom as well and don't know what to expect or what to do from this point forward.
Me too!

I'm taking mental notes here...

I'm thinking the roller coaster ride has yet to begin! And I have all the requisite butterflies in my tummy before hand.

Babybel 8/5/08. Growing her sister: ***4***8***12***16***20***24***28***32***36**40*
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#9 of 21 Old 07-17-2008, 10:39 PM
 
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My two biggies:

Labor: If you think you're starting labor and it's remotely near nighttime, try to sleep. If at all possible. You will need your rest!!!

Newborns: Learn to nurse laying down immediately
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#10 of 21 Old 07-18-2008, 12:50 AM
 
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I'm a very new Mama but while it is fresh on my mind:

-At my hospital they took new born diapers, wet them and froze them. These were so awesome. Don't be shy about asking the nurse to bring supplies as often as you need them. If you are having a homebirth I would recommend making some of these frozen packs. Even if you don' tear (I just had one tiny skid mark), things are sore and these are so helpful.
-It is going to be at least a little uncomfortable to go poop. I have been able to get by without the stool softener by eating good food but pushing out the poop hurts because you have to use all those same muscles. I have found that supporting my perineum with a warm compress (I use one of DD's cloth wipes that I keep in a wipe warmer, the solution I use is water with Kissaluv's Diaper Lotion Potion) makes it so much easier to go.
-Just focus on nursing your baby, getting rest and trying to get minutes to yourself.
-Help your partner help you. I know my DH wants to help but sometimes he will take the baby right after she nurses and she will start to fuss, he is quick to give her back thinking she needs to eat. But usually she just needs a little something more from him (like being rocked instead of him just sitting with her), so I have been telling him "Well try this or that". It really helps him feel more involved and it helps me get a few moments to myself.

I probably have a bunch of others but those come to mind first.

Jenna in love with my DH Jon, loving our 2.5 year old, Caroline Tulip, and expecting another little one in August!
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#11 of 21 Old 07-18-2008, 12:57 AM
 
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Originally Posted by prothyraia View Post
Newborns: Learn to nurse laying down immediately
I agree because it makes your nights soooo much easier. But I'd only add that it's more important to get your latch right FIRST. It can be hard to get a good latch with a newborn when sidelying and your nipples will thank you later even if it means some nights spent sitting in the beginning.

A & A treehugger.gif (09-02), DS - Rain Wildcoolshine.gif (09-05) , DD - Noa Sage goldfish.gif (06-08) & DS - Silas Blaze heartbeat.gif (02-11)   homebirth.jpg  winner.jpg
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#12 of 21 Old 07-18-2008, 01:07 AM
 
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Oh I forgot one:

Get a "breast friend" pillow

and

Get a "breast friend" pillow

and

Are you ordering your "breast friend" pillow yet?

And yes, if you've got a good latch, side laying is so nice.

Jenna in love with my DH Jon, loving our 2.5 year old, Caroline Tulip, and expecting another little one in August!
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#13 of 21 Old 07-18-2008, 01:14 AM
 
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there's a lot of good advice on this thread!

-before settling in for nursing session, take care of your needs-- like going to the bathroom, getting yourself a glass of water, grabbing a book/the remote/your laptop, etc. your baby might be upset at you for 5 minutes, but you'll thank yourself if it ends up being a marathon session.
-learn to swaddle. newborns are happiest in burrito mode.
-learn how to install and operate the carseat. we didn't do this the first time around, and had a stressful time loading into the car from the hospital until a passerby saw us struggling and came to our rescue.
-pack snacks in your hospital bag if birthing out of home. you most likely will be starving after labor.

Jean, feminist mama raising three boys: W (7), E (5) and L (2.15.13)

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#14 of 21 Old 07-18-2008, 01:20 AM
 
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Stick your newborn in a sling as soon as you can, so they get used to being squished and carried, eat breakfast (or lunch, whenever you wake up), drink lots of water, cry if you want to, and take a shower everyday--that's a good one!
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#15 of 21 Old 07-18-2008, 04:06 AM
 
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:

mama/stepmama (07/08/08/97)
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#16 of 21 Old 07-18-2008, 08:22 AM
 
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: This is some great advice!

Mama to DS 7/23/08.
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#17 of 21 Old 07-18-2008, 09:53 AM
 
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Thanks for this thread! Let's keep it going, it's very helpful!!! This is all new to me -- Wolf was adopted when he was a year old, so I missed the newborn thing entirely, and the bfing, etc.
:

Lucky wife to DH and mom to DS (10/02) and sweet DD (7/08) and DSD (3/93) and assorted animalia
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#18 of 21 Old 07-18-2008, 03:41 PM
 
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Take the sockies off before changing the poopie diapie.

Can't believe I forgot this one.
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#19 of 21 Old 07-18-2008, 04:22 PM
 
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love the great advice here. anyone have any additional advice on dealing with your other children when you have a newborn?
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#20 of 21 Old 07-18-2008, 05:35 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by JunebugsMom View Post
love the great advice here. anyone have any additional advice on dealing with your other children when you have a newborn?
Don't feel like you have to fill both kids needs at the same time like some superhuman being. It's okay if the older one has to eat cookies for breakfast or watch some tv while you tend to the baby. And alternately if baby cries for 2 minutes while you throw together a pb and j sandwich for the older one, that's okay too.

Jenn (36), wife to DH for 13 years, DD1(13) , DD2(10) and DS(4)

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#21 of 21 Old 07-18-2008, 06:21 PM
 
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Ask for help
Ask for help
Ask for help

Remember it's okay to be mad/frustrated/etc

As for labor... don't get stuck on just one thing. I wanted a waterbirth... but right before transition I was sitting on the toilet, had just gotten out of the tub, and looked at the nice, warm inviting tub... and realized that NO, I did NOT want to get back in there. I had a great land birth

Sunny coolshine.gif: gun toting, retired breastfeeding, car seat loving, guitar playing, home birthing and schooling mama to Jakob (10.06), Mikah (07.08) and Korah (07.11). uc.jpg 

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