Is it supposed to be this hard?? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 14 Old 08-01-2008, 06:21 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Little Erielle is just inconsolable today. Her cord stump is falling off and seems to be irritating her alot. She's feeding nonstop and I feel like I have no milk left for her. She hasn't slept more than a half an hour all day. I have only eaten one small meal.

Im tired and she just wont stop crying - even after feeding her.
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#2 of 14 Old 08-01-2008, 06:33 PM
 
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It is very hard! You must eat and drink water to keep your milk up, even if she has to cry for five minutes while you fix something. Oatmeal was my quick meal staple - it's good for the milk supply, and once it is prepared, you can eat it with one hand.

Once you've eaten can you get in bed and nurse her so you can both get some rest?

What you're going through is totally normal. Your baby is fine, she will nurse lots and lots and your milk supply will increase to keep up with her.

But it is so hard, I totally understand!

...the cuties in my avatar are my wonderful, c-section born, fully vaccinated sweethearts...
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#3 of 14 Old 08-01-2008, 06:35 PM
 
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Hugs to you Mama! I guess I would say that maybe it's not supposed to be so hard but the reality is, sometimes it just is. Your experience is totally normal and every mom goes through it. Believe me, you WILL make it out the other side. You will sleep again.

Baby might want to sleep on you. Is she waking every time you put her down?

If you want to do stuff or read - try a sling or sitting reclined in a comfy chair or the couch or propped in bed with her on your chest (skin-to-skin). Or can you just give up on the day and crawl in bed together so you can nurse and doze together. Have you guys figured out sidelying yet?

How is nursing going? Is she swallowing lots, peeing lots? Is your milk in (not sure how old your dd is)?

Also, as others have mentioned, when babies go through growth spurts it seems like they just nurse for the whole day, but after a day or two they go back to their usual pattern...which means: it won't always be this hard!


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#4 of 14 Old 08-01-2008, 07:08 PM
 
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Hugs to you mommy! I'm not in your ddc (I am due in late Sept or early Oct). Your post just tugged my heart becasue my 1st wasn't an "easy" baby early on and adjusting to being her mommy wasn't easy on me at all. I want to tell you it WILL get easier. Here are a few things I learned.
- Do what works for YOU as a mom, try different things even if they aren't the recommended/popular way of doing things (that may mean finding a routine that meets both your needs, or wearing your baby all day for some time.) A wise friend told me, "If you can't stand something, it is ok to change it." It freed me to do what I thought was right for us all.
- Don't feel guilty that your expecations are different from the reality that you need right now. I felt really guilty that I put my dd on a routine of sorts, but you know those things don't matter at all when they are older. She and I are very bonded and attatched.
- Give her grace to be a baby in adjustment. It may take her a few months to get herself sorted out, just do what you know is best for her and love on her every chance you can!
- Eat good, drink LOTS. The fact that you have only had one meal could actually be making your baby fussier and not sleeping good. You may actually need to eat MORE now that she is on the out side to sustain you both. Get mother milk tea and drink it or water while you nurse. Graze on good stuff all day.
- Learn to nurse laying down so that you can rest when she eats...drift off to sleep. Rest is a good thing, get it every and any chance you can right now!
- Take help...ask for help and know when you have had enough. Most people care more than you know and would love if you asked for help.
Hang in there! It will get better...

Marci

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running a camp for at-risk kiddos and walking a narrow path.

 

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#5 of 14 Old 08-01-2008, 07:17 PM
 
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it's really really hard
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#6 of 14 Old 08-01-2008, 08:40 PM
 
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It is really hard sometimes, I had a hard day on Wednesday.

You need to eat and drink to keep your milk up.

Have you tried swaddling your DD? That has been our saving grace with DD once she started getting fussy. Swaddling and rocking her or walking around with her while gently jostling her and patting her bum.

Also, I have found sometimes that when DD seems like she wants to nurse- i.e. latches on but then moments later pulls of screaming that she doesn't really want to nurse. She is looking to that as comfort but doesn't really want the milk. It is during these times that I get a fresh diaper on her, swaddle her up and then go rock her or walk around with her. Then once she is calmed down I might try and nurse her again if I think she wants it but a lot of times she falls asleep.

And sometimes she just wants to sleep on me/ with me. I just have to remind myself that taking care of my baby is the most important thing and that is she needs me to lay cuddled up next to her while she sleeps, even if I can't sleep right then, then that is what she needs and I just need to do it.

But those days are rough. But yes, please eat and drink! Like someone else said, don't let your baby CIO but if the only way you can get some food and water is if she cries for a few minutes, if you really don't have anyone else to help you, then so be it. You have to eat and drink to be able to feed her.

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#7 of 14 Old 08-01-2008, 10:00 PM
 
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It gets better/easier, I promise!
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#8 of 14 Old 08-02-2008, 12:03 PM
 
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Erielle might be going through her first growth spurt - do your best to keep your milk supply up, and rest with her. If it really is a growth spurt, she will have some long sleep periods afterwards, which will be very enjoyable and allow you to catch up on your sleep as well.
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#9 of 14 Old 08-02-2008, 02:28 PM
 
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OMG I remember that. Yes, you need to be eating well, and drinking LOTS. Drink more than you were while preggo. Were you doing RRL tea? Make some sun tea with it to drink, with some peppermint tea bags too. So refreshing and good for you, and a nice change from water. Get Gabe to bring you snacks, sandwiches, apples, cheese, whatever. Right now he's gotta be your butler!

Amen to the swaddling too. We did alot of it the first few weeks. Do you have a birth ball/exercise ball? Mathias LOVED being held while we sat on it and gently bounced.

I hope you guys get some rest! If she wants to sleep on you, take the opportunity to catch a few winks yourself. You'll have it all figured out in no time. This too shall pass...and so quickly.


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#10 of 14 Old 08-02-2008, 06:08 PM
 
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Oh, I just wanted to add that it really does get easier. And fun, too!

...the cuties in my avatar are my wonderful, c-section born, fully vaccinated sweethearts...
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#11 of 14 Old 08-02-2008, 10:06 PM
 
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It sounds like growth spurt time. I've been through this all before, but doing it with twins is bringing up the sorts of anxieties and frustrations I had as a first-time mom. We had a day/night like yours the other day. It's part of the supply & demand process, but it can be hard to believe in the process when your baby seems inconsolable after every feeding.
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#12 of 14 Old 08-02-2008, 11:57 PM
 
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With my dd, I found that me being dehydrated or hungry just made things worse because my milk wouldn't let down the way it should. It was really important for me while nursing to snack a lot and keep my fluids and bloodsugar up. I would put her in the swing while eating which she loved. Also, carrying her in a sling/wrap might help.

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#13 of 14 Old 08-03-2008, 12:53 AM
 
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It really depends on the baby. Some really are inconsolable during the early weeks. My second baby was like that, so you definitely have my sympathy!
Trust that you are never truly out of milk. Even when your breasts feel empty, they are not. As long as your baby is gaining weight, and peeing and pooping in her diapers, she is getting enough food. As long as you are not supplementing, you are making enough milk for your baby.
Try to hang in there, and try to not take the crying personally. Hand baby over to Dad regularly for much-needed breaks. Remember that this too shall pass.
Hugs!

Mom of 4
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#14 of 14 Old 08-03-2008, 10:56 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Things have been better the last couple of days. I really think her cord stump was bugging her. My milk has finally come in and DH has stepped up making me meals and making sure that I'm eating well. Now the problem seems to be that she has decreased her amount of milk consumption (probably because she's getting so much more so quickly). She's spending less time feeding anyway.

So far today, she hasn't had as many messy diapers, so it may be a bit of a growth spurt. My breasts HURTTTT! It's not really the nipple tenderness of the first few days after she was born...but more of a burning snesation after she's done nursing. Is this normal??

I ate some oatmeal yesterday (thanks for the advice all).

Adjusting to the new sleep schedule has been something else, but I'm finally getting used to it. She's been sleeping well the last couple of nights (getting up about ever 3 hours or so). DH has been so helpful, changing her diapers most of the time.

We had a trial run yesterday...he went to work for 4 hours and it wasn't so bad...but it was still hard to be alone....

I think things are getting better...I'm getting used to her...I just wish I had my own personal lactation consultant that would sit in the corner and I could just ask her questions whenever they popped up. hahaha...

thanks for the hugs! They help...even if they are virtual....
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