However, my husband does little to nothing to help me out. On weekends, he helps with meals, and that's about it. Our house just keeps getting messier and messier and that's really getting to me.
Last night I woke up to feed the baby at around 3am, and just couldn't go back to sleep. So I came out into the dining room and folded laundry that had been sitting there since Saturday. It would have been so easy for dh to fold it himself before that.
The girls have dressers in their rooms that dh is not fixing, although he promised he would. These are just a couple of examples. In a nutshell the house is just not being run very well right now, because nobody is willing to step in while I'm busy with the baby. She doesn't sleep much during the day. And my other kids are signed up for several classes during the day that I have to drive them to. For that I need to be dressed and showered. I homeschool, so I have my kids with me all the time. When I don't occupy their time, they're off making a mess somewhere in our home...
I'm tired and not really feeling well, like I'm coming down with something and I don't know what it is yet. My neck is almost always sore from holding the baby or contorting my body to nurse her at night.
I'm just really stressed out, I guess. Thanks for letting me vent. Baby crying, off to nurse again.....
He's really into Legos, and dh went to the Lego store last night to buy him a present there and also to get Lego cake molds. So, he'll have a Lego cake plus a Lego set, as well as a Lego set from his grandparents, and that will have to be enough. I hope I can make it up to him next year with a really cool party. I'll have a 1-year old then, and maybe I'm deluding myself in thinking life will be easier then..... I should know, being that this is my 4th child, but for me my children's early years are mostly a blur..... I wonder why!
I just really wish I had some help. I really need some help.
And then, my DH has a prep course to take the LSATs (to get into law school) on Saturday and Sunday right now for 4 hours each day (And on Sunday is RIGHT during church, so if I wanna go, I have to get all 4 of us ready, out the door, etc. by myself...) and in a week and a half he starts back to school 4 nights a week! So, I am feeling a bit stressed and overwhelmed, too, wondering HOW IN THE WORLD am I gonna make it with him working 40-45 hours a week, going to school 4 nights a week (until 9:30-10 depending on the night) and his class on the weekends!! Okay. Panicking a bit over here! Not to mention all the money issues after having the baby! (We don't have insureance and since I ended up with a c-section, the bills are higher than we ha planned for and keep rolling in!!!!) I just feel SO dang frazzled!
Okay. Sorry! I just TOTALLY highjacked this thread and I'm sorry. But I guess it DOES illustrate my point that, while I have one less child than you do, I TOTALLY feel you on the "This is hard"!! (And there is the baby again, so I guess I'm gonna be nursing again! LOL)
: Proud Momma to Katelyn (4-02), Calvin (4-06), and Ashley (7-08) :
So, my hat is off to you Mama's. I'm sorry it is hard for you right now. If I lived closer I would come help you out.
Kerri- Yikes! I didn't know that you didn't have insurance. Is it possible the state can offer you some type of assistance? I think the income guidelines are much more relaxed for pregnancy related things. I hope you can get some help because I've heard c/s are really expensive.
This is also the first time I've had to actually get on MDC and reply to some theads that I have been meaning to reply too. I feel so bad because I have missed so much on here. But I am trying to keep up. But unfortunately it can't be a priority on my list right now.
's again mama! I hope it gets easier!
I'm crunchy... Like a Dorito.
Mama to Sprout 4.09 and Bruises 7.11 handfasted to 9.07
1) We have our 13 year old neighbour come over 3 mornings/week for 3 hours to play with and entertain my two older dc's. They play outside most of the time but on rainy days she brings them in and they do crafts (all the mesy things like painting, play-doh,etc.. that I don't dare take out right now). It gives me time to just sit and be with the babies or else get some housework done.
2) I try to get dh to take all 4 dc's for a walk after dinner. I can get more done in 30 minutes with no dc's around than I can get done in 3 hours during the day. I turn on some cool music and just race around getting the kitchen cleaned and sweeping the floors.
I've also been getting ds1 and dd1 to help out a lot more. Emptying the dishwasher, picking up things, putting laundry away, etc... It's not done the same way I would do it but really if the clothes are clean and shoved into a dresser drawer where I can't see it I'm happy .
Karen - spouse to dh for 11 years, mama to ds (Nov '02), dd (May '05) and ds and dd (Jun '08)
I, too, have "only" 3 and I'm still trying to get on top of things. If and when I do get around to cooking, it's usually really late. I seem to be able to get the laundry done, but then it never gets put on hangers and hung up. My kids laundry baskets have become rubbermaid totes full of clean, wrinkled clothes. My house is a total mess! (and has been practically since I got pregnant ) But I do have one well fed newborn!
Tomorrow we're also starting our first day of homeschool, ever. How am I going to balance that? Dunno...but we'll get there!
Love DH dearly and he's a great husband and father, but terrible with any domestic tasks! He also doesn't seem to notice the laundry needing to be folded or put away, that the floor needs sweeping, dishwasher needs loading or unloading...etc. I feel bad because he works a long day too and I appreciate that, but just 10 min of his time in the morning before work to unload the dishwasher could help my day hugely.
We were planning on a 4th, but I'm seriously reconsidering now. I just don't feel like I have enough help around here to do it. My hat goes off to all the mamas who have 4 or more and seem to do it all so well!
I'm calling a first ever family meeting here to discuss my concerns with DH and set up some age appropriate chores for our girls. Every little bit helps!
So the point of this novel, you are not alone!!!! Find at least one thing everyday that you accomplished and feel good about it! Even if it's only that you got out of your PJ's.
As far as your sons birthday goes, have you thought about having a party for him in a month or two? My oldests birthday is in dec and we didn't have her "friend" party untill feb this year and my middle dd's birthday is in may and we just did her party this weekend. It worked for us.
Cari Family Business Owner Married to my HS Sweet-Heart Michael
Mama to Bridgitt (12/99) Rheannon (05/04) and Meridith (07/08)
and Griffin April 2, 2013
Our house just keeps getting messier and messier and that's really getting to me.
Four is tough. Three seemed so easy. Sigh. But it'll get better soon.
Oh, and we were swamped with birthday stuff this past week too. My 3rd turned 2 on the 1st and my husband's bday was on the 9th. We have a couple more relative's bday coming up before the month is up. It's crazy.
We just tell her we are a family and we have to work together, "teamwork blah blah blah mommy is not your personal servant"
:::: ::: formally mom_2_3_girls
Amy - Blessed wife to Jesse (the best dad in the world), mother of 10 on earth plus 8 in heaven. PROUD to be a Catholic! :
I totally get where you're coming from. Newborns take ALOT of energy/time from the mama. My next youngest is only 18 months. I am dieing here! My dh took the four boys camping this weekend. The house is alot quieter and there's less meals to cook/laundry to do but I still am not getting anything done. Babies are tough. I am currently living in a haze. No *real* sleep at all. Lots of coffee. Trying to lower my expectations (which tend to be REALLY high). My olders are quite helpful and have their own "domains" to clean up twice daily. That helps alot. We homeschool and will begine that again the day after Labor Day. I'm really not sure how that will go but I'll get through.
My house is a complete mess, still, and I've begun to really teach my children that it is very necessary to pick up their toys after they're done playing with them. Last night I snagged my 5-year old before she had a chance to trot off to bed and made her pick up the wooden toys I had just cleaned and put into their own basket. She did. The place is still a pigsty, but at least all the wooden toys have been put away again. That's something, and we can take it from there.
Each time I've been able to put Zoe down to sleep in her bed (we share sleep) she's stayed asleep for only 5 minutes before waking up again. I'm sooo tired.
My 8-year old just got the baby back out of the bedroom, and I will have to take her and attend to her. Again. Sigh.
"Mom_2_3_girls I feel your pain this is baby # 4 for me too. My other 3 are aged 6, 4 and 2 and our baby boy has reflux (LOTS AND LOTS of throw-up ALL the time )it's just insane at our house most days and DH works out of town and left when baby was only a week old. My 4 o'clock I am so completely exhausted and the house looks like a tornado blew through. I just keep telling myself this shall pass and life will get a little less chaotic "
Oh, this was ME, two years ago! I had kids the exact same age and a baby w/the exact same problem, except my LO was a girl. I couldn't have survived w/out my wrap and a binky. (the wrap kept her upright and the binky helped her keep her feeds down. she wanted to suck for comfort, but if I let her nurse she would get waaayyy too full and the spitting up would be 10 x worse) I don't know if it would help at all, but you might try. I am not ordinarily one for pacifiers, but for that child it was a life-saver. She had terrible problems with reflux and was losing weight until I started using one.