WOH Mamas - changing your plans? - Mothering Forums

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Old 08-12-2008, 02:28 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Is anyone out there thinking about changing their plans now that their little one is here? I had planned to go back after 12 weeks and am really struggling with that now. I think we can swing it financially too, which sort of makes it harder. We're still up 2 and 3 times a night and I am really loving having the day with him and being able to take care of my house and just be domestic... but the extra money and the time to start a task and finish it and be important in the outside world are still there.

I guess it's not surprising that I'm having this issue, considering I spent months lining up people to manage my job while I was gone and did absolutely zero about finding day care. So I still have to work that out if I go back.

Anyone else wrestling with this?
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Old 08-12-2008, 03:56 PM
 
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My mom and I own a retail pet shop and I do nearly all of the office type work. I'm very lucky in that I can have my kids (baby included) with me at the store and also can do some of my work from home.

If you dont love your current job, maybe you could take some extra time off and then look for something more accomodating to you or with a more flexable schedule.

How about going back to your current job part time?

Stay with your baby as long as you can, but do what feels right for your family. GL mama!

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Old 08-12-2008, 04:50 PM
 
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but the extra money and the time to start a task and finish it and be important in the outside world are still there.
Okay, I'm with you on the extra money and time to start/finish a task thing, but trust me there is nothing more important to the outside world than a stay-at-home-mom (whether it's recognized or not).

I'm going to start working 10 hrs/week from home in Sept/Oct and then go back half time in Nov at 12 weeks and full time in Dec when baby is four months.

This is my fifth and the first time I'll be going back full time so early. With my dds, I was back at work before 12 weeks, but I was just a part time college instructor. With my ds1, I went to work full time when he was 8 months. It stunk, but he was home with my dh who is the stay-at-home parent.

Truthfully, I can't imagine having to leave my kids with anyone other than family...and I can't imagine doing it full time at 12 weeks (or 6 like some people!) That would suck big time. Thankfully I'm blessed with a situation that doesn't force me to make that choice.

WOHM married to SAHD, living the dream w/our: 3 girls (14,12,10) and 3 boys (7,5,3) and tie-breaker due Jan 2014

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Old 08-14-2008, 11:16 AM
 
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I went through this with DS#1. I was supposed to go back to work fulltime at 12 weeks but just couldn't go through with it. Unlike most though we couldn't afford it and really needed my salary. We took a home equity loan out and I started a small home business. It's hard to juggle work at home with 2 now but I love it. Money is tighter though and in this economy it's stressful but we get by....

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Old 08-14-2008, 12:22 PM
 
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Ask me when I go back in July 2009!
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Old 08-14-2008, 02:50 PM
 
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Ask me when I go back in July 2009!
listen, canadian, we americans don't want to hear your bragging!!!

i went back FT at 12 weeks with DS, that lasted 4 weeks, I went to part time and have been part time ever since. (3 days a week, 24 hrs/wk) My plan is to go back at 12 weeks this time as well, unfortunately, with my DH's job loss (he now has a new job with a significant pay cut) my income is vital.
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Old 08-14-2008, 11:16 PM
 
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listen, canadian, we americans don't want to hear your bragging!!!

i went back FT at 12 weeks with DS, that lasted 4 weeks, I went to part time and have been part time ever since. (3 days a week, 24 hrs/wk) My plan is to go back at 12 weeks this time as well, unfortunately, with my DH's job loss (he now has a new job with a significant pay cut) my income is vital.
Hehe....I don't usually brag, but hearing all the stories here about Mom's going back to work so soon makes me feel sad for you and grateful that I can stay home longer. For such a rich country, you'd think someone in charge would see the benefits of paid maternity leave. Maybe your children will be luckier...
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Old 08-15-2008, 01:36 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Hehe....I don't usually brag, but hearing all the stories here about Mom's going back to work so soon makes me feel sad for you and grateful that I can stay home longer. For such a rich country, you'd think someone in charge would see the benefits of paid maternity leave. Maybe your children will be luckier...
I feel sad for us too. : But, on the bright side, DH and I had a big budget meeting. It didn't go the way I wanted it too, but it started some conversations. DH needs me to bring in a certain amount for him to feel safe. I can do that working part time. I don't have to go back to working part time right away, I can take a few extra months if I need to. We went and visited a day care today, all three of us, and I actually left feeling like it was a viable option. It's a new church based program that currently only has 1 baby, they just started on Wednesday but the church has been operating a k-8 school (65 kids total) for 100 years. They showed us everything, were very cool about looking into the cloth diapers and state regulations, said they'd hold him all day if that's what he needed (totally unprompted), would love it if I came to visit in the next few weeks and it is directly between our house and my office, which is a 6 minute commute anyway, so about 3 minutes from either place. So I can stop in and nurse him if I can get away from work, which is what the other mom/baby does already as she is a teacher in the school there. A very nice feel to the whole thing... so maybe it wouldn't be the complete end of the world if he went there for a little bit and mom went to the office for a few hours.

I am thinking that I will go back to my current job for a few months and get things a little settled and start looking for something else. I think part of the problem is that I am not so thrilled with that situation on a personal level anymore, and if I am going to be away from my baby I want it to be either very fulfilling and worth it emotionally or very stress free and worth it financially.

We have also been talking about starting a diaper service, my friends and I, and I would love to have that as an option too but I think that DH is being realistic when he says that is going to be more time and risk than we can handle in the next month or two. (Time for me, risk for him). I don't know though. We will just have to see. In the course of our big emotional (lots of tears) discussions I realized we are juggling two big fears: DH's terror of being financially insecure, and my terror of destroying my relationship with my baby. So we've gotten those both out into the open and are trying to be respectful of them and that's helping.

Geez, this has been exhausting, and I am ready to not think about it for another couple of weeks. Also, we haven't been sleeping at night around here so that hasn't been helping. Speaking of which, I need to head to bed.

Thanks for listening, mamas.
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Old 08-15-2008, 02:07 AM
 
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I was supposed to start school week after next, and have realized that there's just no sane way to make it work. so I'm staying at home again, for now.
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Old 08-17-2008, 02:05 PM
 
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Ask me when I go back in July 2009!
Me too! One year mat leave is fantastic. My babe is six weeks old and I haven't even left her alone with my DF yet. I can't imagine putting her in daycare. I don't judge mams that have to, I am just sad that they are put in that situation.

One-year leave has been in place for about six or seven years now, and our economy hasn't fallen to pieces. I am really suprised there isn't more of a movement in the US to get a similiar policy in place.

I used to work in banking, but after my leave is up I am looking at running a home daycare. I need to bring in some money or we won't be able to make the mortgage payment, but watching a few extra kiddies during the day will allow me to stay home with my babe while I do it. Daycare is also pretty pricey in my area... which will work to my benefit. In the end I will still be taking a pay cut, but we will have enough to get by.

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Old 08-17-2008, 04:09 PM
 
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One-year leave has been in place for about six or seven years now, and our economy hasn't fallen to pieces. I am really suprised there isn't more of a movement in the US to get a similiar policy in place.

Unfortunetly, I think there is still to much stigma towards stay at home moms - like its not productive or something. Once we get our heads out of our rears, I think we'll realize how good the maternaty CARE (including leave) is in other countries. Maybe by the time my girls are moms, we'll have made some progress in those areas.

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Old 08-18-2008, 01:42 AM
 
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I went back to work at 8 weeks with dd. It was miserable. She was at an on-site day care and I still hated it. When she was 4 months, I dropped down to part time. About a month later, I quit that job and started waitressing. I gradually reduced my hours until I was pretty much not working at all. I went back to school, which is actually worse than working in some ways. When ds was 6 weeks, I took the H&R Block tax professional training course a couple days a week and left him at an in-home daycare. Now I work for H&R Block seasonally. I won't have to go back to work until January. Very nice feeling. I simply hated leaving my tiny babies with others. Cadence is now 8 weeks and the farthest I've been away from her was a 20 minute trip across town to the chiropractor. We're going to my class reunion next weekend, but that will only be a few hours and only a few miles from my parents' house where she will be staying with a hefty supply of ebm.

Tiffany, loving wife to Matt, Mommy to Samantha (10/99), Tevin (8/04), Cadence (6/08) and babymooning with our sweet little Lauren 6/24/10
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Old 08-18-2008, 01:14 PM
 
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Unfortunetly, I think there is still to much stigma towards stay at home moms - like its not productive or something. Once we get our heads out of our rears, I think we'll realize how good the maternaty CARE (including leave) is in other countries. Maybe by the time my girls are moms, we'll have made some progress in those areas.
And sadly, there's too much money to be made off daycare to pay women to be at home with their own children. I live in Columbus OH... there's a fancy daycare on practically every street, with a wait-list, and no part time options for infants.

I'm going back part time just to make enough money to make ends meet. My job is one that allows me to work weird hours so my hubby can watch our babe while I work. I may need to find a private sitter for a couple hours here and there until DH can get off work to pick her up.
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Old 08-22-2008, 06:47 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Okay, so now I am leaning more heavily towards starting the diaper service and working from home. Anyone out there started a business with a new baby? How did it go? Any advice?

Three weeks of leave left and counting...this is driving me crazy! What I really want is to stay home for a year and then decide. Maybe we should move to Canada. :
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Old 08-22-2008, 09:03 PM
 
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My plan is go back after 8-10 weeks but I think I'll see if I can do part-time for at least a month before going back full time towards the end of the year.

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