'Fess up, ladies.... - Page 2 - Mothering Forums
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July 2008 > 'Fess up, ladies....
finnegansmom's Avatar finnegansmom 04:14 PM 08-21-2008
ummm yikes.
My husband is actually wanting to, but me... not so much.
It's been 4 weeks, and I didn't tear at all but I'm still bleeding and that area just needs some "downtime" for a bit.

spirit4ever's Avatar spirit4ever 04:18 PM 08-21-2008
Funny thread!!!


4 wks pp tomorrow.. and no way!!! I'm hoping to stretch it out atleast a few more weeks!
Mom2Lex&Cay's Avatar Mom2Lex&Cay 08:14 PM 08-21-2008
Clearly we're far too horny! We seem to wait less and less each time.

First time was about 10 days pp. I was starting to get a bit eager at 7 days.

My feeling on it is if I feel well enough and want to DTD, then I must be. The whole listen to my body concept. (Very carefully though, since I do start my cycles again very soon after birth!)
Mom2Lex&Cay's Avatar Mom2Lex&Cay 08:16 PM 08-21-2008
Quote:
Originally Posted by delicious View Post
the trouble now is getting the opportunity!
Isn't that the truth!?!
HulaJenn's Avatar HulaJenn 09:58 PM 08-21-2008
For those that have done it....how did that go?? Especially those that did it early? I didn't tear and feel up to it kinda, but still feel like stuff is "hanging out" down there.
AKA_PI's Avatar AKA_PI 03:03 AM 08-22-2008
Screw it all, I'm going to jump DP tomorrow night when he gets in from his basketball game. He doesn't know it and will probably try to stop me but I may just have to take it if he doesn't cooperate.
Mom2Lex&Cay's Avatar Mom2Lex&Cay 12:57 PM 08-22-2008
Quote:
Originally Posted by HulaJenn View Post
For those that have done it....how did that go?? Especially those that did it early? I didn't tear and feel up to it kinda, but still feel like stuff is "hanging out" down there.
Well, it went better than anything in the later part of the pregnancy. I could feel things were a little "off", but it was quite enjoyable for me. The next time (somewhere between 2 and 3 weeks) was even better. I also did not have any tearing, any swelling beyond a couple days after birth, and seem to shrink back to a closer to "normal" size fairly quickly. (Hope that's not TMI!)
HulaJenn's Avatar HulaJenn 01:52 PM 08-22-2008
Well I think maybe tonight I will have myself a nice glass off wine and attempt the deed! LOL
AKA_PI's Avatar AKA_PI 02:44 PM 08-22-2008
Quote:
Originally Posted by HulaJenn View Post
Well I think maybe tonight I will have myself a nice glass off wine and attempt the deed! LOL

A nice glass of wine sounds great....
quarteralien's Avatar quarteralien 08:35 PM 08-22-2008
Here's a trend for you.
After #1 we waited 4 weeks. After #2 we waited 3.5 weeks. After #3 we waited 3 weeks. The only one that was at all uncomfortable was after our first baby, at 4 weeks, and I think it was nerves more than anything. The other times, we were both ready! But now that Quinn is home and attached to me 24/7, the opportunity doesn't always knock...
HulaJenn's Avatar HulaJenn 04:52 PM 08-23-2008
Well I never made it to a glass of wine but we did DTD! It was um......well, we both "enjoyed" ourselves but things are definately a little more "spacious". (DH says like throwing a hot dog down a hallway! LOL sensitive man.....) I guess it's to be expected at 3 weeks pp. I am working on my kiegels still! LOL I wouldn't do it every night - I was tender after, but glad to have gotten the first bout over with! (Sounds romantic eh? lol)
AKA_PI's Avatar AKA_PI 12:10 AM 08-24-2008
Quote:
Originally Posted by HulaJenn View Post
Well I never made it to a glass of wine but we did DTD! It was um......well, we both "enjoyed" ourselves but things are definately a little more "spacious". (DH says like throwing a hot dog down a hallway! LOL sensitive man.....) I guess it's to be expected at 3 weeks pp. I am working on my kiegels still! LOL I wouldn't do it every night - I was tender after, but glad to have gotten the first bout over with! (Sounds romantic eh? lol)
Sounds like my night. DP and I DTD last night and it was wonderful. Granted, I was a little sore and tender afterwards, I didn't feel any of that during it. He was reluctant to do it for fear of pregnancy but I told him either he gives it up or take. LOL

I was thinking of trying again tonight (we'll see if he's up to it).
anonymousk's Avatar anonymousk 02:27 AM 08-24-2008
Mission accomplished here as well, exactly 9 weeks pp. I forgot the Doc's advice about the lubrication though, so there was some spotting and I am sure I will be remembering tonight's activities tomorrow morning at mass. Ironic that my postpartum issue is being, uh... less than elastic? Thanks, c-section!
Kidzaplenty's Avatar Kidzaplenty 11:08 PM 08-24-2008
I am 5 wks pp and really have not had much of a drive yet. Though I have had a time or two that I would have been ready, but it was in the middle of the night and DH was sleeping (and he has to get up REALLY early, so is a crank if I wake him).

I could start thinking about it now, for real, but I am now having to weigh the though of my fertility with my desires. (My fertility is back! What a scarry thought!)
prothyraia's Avatar prothyraia 01:38 PM 08-25-2008
We dtd for the first time postpartum on Wed...

...and for the first time since my TODDLER was born, it was entirely comfortable.

I think my suspicions about being stitched back together poorly after his birth have been confirmed.

But on the plus side, we're now VERY glad we choose to have our second child relatively soon after our first was born! 20 months was long enough, a few years would have been terrible.
KerriAZ's Avatar KerriAZ 02:05 PM 08-25-2008
Okay. I know you're "supposed" to wait til 6 weeks pp for vaginal deliveries, but is it the same or more for a c-section? Anyone know? I mean, I'm not really in the mood yet, anyway, (and with DH going to school 6 days a week plus working full time I dunno where we'd find the time or energy anyhow!! ) but I was just wondering...
christinespurlock's Avatar christinespurlock 06:06 PM 08-25-2008
you girls have so much more drive than me!

We don't want anymore kids. My husband isn't getting the big V until Decemeber. And condoms suck. That with my drive means it's gonna be a little while.
njbeachgirl's Avatar njbeachgirl 08:44 PM 08-25-2008
You're not alone, I have no drive when I am BFing. (well, except when my cycle is coming back, I guess that's how I got pg with DS! LOL)

6 weeks now and no dtd here, and we are in the same boat with birth control.
kalamos23's Avatar kalamos23 07:59 AM 08-26-2008
We dtd once I was cleared for action at 5 weeks (I could have done it before but was glad for the excuse not to!!) - but honestly, I think he stitched me up after my 2nd deg tear too tight. I honestly felt like a virgin again! It is painful still - we have dtd 3 times since and it's just ouchy.

As to birth control - with as much as I'm EBF right now, I think I'm good. If for some reason I get pregnant, we were planning on 2 anyway, so I'm just going to enjoy the no charting/bc/condoms right now.
veganf's Avatar veganf 04:52 PM 08-26-2008
We DTD at 4wks PP at my request.
prothyraia's Avatar prothyraia 09:01 PM 08-26-2008
Quote:
Originally Posted by kalamos23 View Post
I think he stitched me up after my 2nd deg tear too tight. I honestly felt like a virgin again! It is painful still - we have dtd 3 times since and it's just ouchy.
Make sure you're using a lot of lube- nursing can keep you from making your own. If it still hurts after a few months, I'd suggest getting yourself checked out. I don't think my tear with my first birth was stitched together right (it was like the perineal skin was tighter than the vaginal tissue, so there was this "pocket" there and I really wish I hadn't lived with it as long as I did...although I think having Rowan might have been the best way to get everything back the way it should be.

Quote:
Originally Posted by kalamos23 View Post
As to birth control - with as much as I'm EBF right now, I think I'm good. If for some reason I get pregnant, we were planning on 2 anyway, so I'm just going to enjoy the no charting/bc/condoms right now.
You may know this already, but here are the "rules" for using breastfeeding as birth control:
http://www.kellymom.com/bf/normal/fertility.html

I love that it's actually MORE effective than condoms!
Just don't be too cavalier about getting pregnant again- it almost always completely trashes your milk supply.
lorelei's Avatar lorelei 01:31 PM 08-31-2008
We dtd again last week, and I have to say, those additional 2 weeks have made a ton of difference for me. It was pretty much like old times again, which is a wonderful thing.

So my advice is don't rush to get back to dtd- if you do too soon you might not be uncomfortable, but you also might not find it as pleasurable as if you just wait another week or 2.
JunebugsMom's Avatar JunebugsMom 10:39 PM 09-01-2008
well, we finally dtd at 8 weeks pp and...ouch
CTH3989's Avatar CTH3989 04:00 PM 09-07-2008
I am 6 weeks PP today and I DTD for the first time last weekend at 4 weeks 5 days PP.
finnegansmom's Avatar finnegansmom 11:03 AM 09-08-2008
I'm 7 weeks pp today and NO. I'm so NOT in the mood and DH has been buggin me lately. So that doesn't help. I just stopped bleeding this week, I think. Finally. I'm feeling really self conscious about my body right now, I'm so pudgey and fluffy in the belly ... I'm just feeling anything but sexy....
njbeachgirl's Avatar njbeachgirl 12:15 PM 09-08-2008
we finally DTD at almost 8 weeks postpartum. It wasn't awful but was a little tight and sensitive. I have no drive while BFing, kwim? So it was basically a favor to DH who has been patient.
wryknowlicious's Avatar wryknowlicious 12:01 PM 09-16-2008
We waited 10 days.
thats actuall yteh shortest we've ever waited - with DD#! ti was 2.5weeks, with DD#2 it was 2weeks.

Ever since we've been DT at least 1x a week. Sometimes 2. I'd liek more - but realistically? I've got a 4yr old, a 3yr old, and a new born - theres always someone mneeding something from me or him, and only so much energy in my body and tiem in a day.
elf's Avatar elf 04:06 PM 10-09-2008
OUCH
we waiting until I was 15 weeks PP and I even used the lidocaine gel the doctor prescribed for me at my 6 week appointment and lube and OUCH. Am i just a wimp or is something wrong?
All I could tolerate was SLOW insertion but NO MOVEMENT. we're talking just laying there completely still and deep breathing. crazy I know. I am nursing but come on!

I did have a second degree laceration, a midline episiotomy and vaginal wall tears that were all repaired---oh and I ended up with a hematoma PP.

What would you do?
AKA_PI's Avatar AKA_PI 05:11 PM 10-09-2008
Quote:
Originally Posted by elf View Post
OUCH
we waiting until I was 15 weeks PP and I even used the lidocaine gel the doctor prescribed for me at my 6 week appointment and lube and OUCH. Am i just a wimp or is something wrong?
All I could tolerate was SLOW insertion but NO MOVEMENT. we're talking just laying there completely still and deep breathing. crazy I know. I am nursing but come on!

I did have a second degree laceration, a midline episiotomy and vaginal wall tears that were all repaired---oh and I ended up with a hematoma PP.

What would you do?
I would slap a bottle of lube in my hubby's hand and say "have a nice evening". Honey, I even I would wait until I'm fully healed after all you've gone through.
KerriAZ's Avatar KerriAZ 12:22 PM 10-11-2008
Quote:
Originally Posted by elf View Post
OUCH
we waiting until I was 15 weeks PP and I even used the lidocaine gel the doctor prescribed for me at my 6 week appointment and lube and OUCH. Am i just a wimp or is something wrong?
All I could tolerate was SLOW insertion but NO MOVEMENT. we're talking just laying there completely still and deep breathing. crazy I know. I am nursing but come on!

I did have a second degree laceration, a midline episiotomy and vaginal wall tears that were all repaired---oh and I ended up with a hematoma PP.

What would you do?
Oh I remember with my first how long it took! I had a 3rd degree episiotomy and tore to a 4th degree! OUCH! Sex hurt SOOO badly! I don't think I fully enjoyed (and was really able) to DTD until I was 6 months PP! (Sorry to bring bad news!) Hope you heal soon! So just relax about it and just let DH know that you are in too much pain right now and to please just be patient with you! It WILL get better! (Trust me - 2 kids later! LOL)
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