Was it everything you thought it would be? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 25 Old 08-28-2008, 01:23 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Not just for the first timers but even with 2nd and up-timers- was the pregnancy, labour/delivery, and first weeks with baby what you expected it to be? What were your expectations? How did they differ from actual?

For me, this pregnancy, labour and delivery were a LOT more difficult than I anticipated. I was more sick and achy during pg (you kinda just go by what last pgs were like so that was my same expectation). Labour and delivery was misleading because being a 3rd baby I thought quicker and earlier but ended up with the dreaded "wild card" birth.
On the plus side, adding a 3rd baby to the mix in these first few weeks has been far easier than I ever thought. He just fits in naturally and sleeps and nurses like a champ so I am not left like a zombie with sore nipples! LOL
It was so worth all the unexpected woes of pg and delivery.

Jenn (36), wife to DH for 13 years, DD1(13) , DD2(10) and DS(4)

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#2 of 25 Old 08-28-2008, 01:51 PM
 
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Pregnancy was very easy- I expected (hoped for!) that because my first was easy too.

Labor and delivery went just as expected. It was wonderful. I loved having a homebirth and everything could not have gone better.

Having two under 2 has been challenging, but not quite as hard as I expected. I think I prepared myself for the worst and while there are hairy moments it's not that bad, in fact I feel so blessed to have both of them everyday. Henry is turning out to be an easy baby- great nurser from day 1, good sleeper, etc. After the "adjustment period" Maya is doing great with him too.

I thought postpartum would be worse. I had PPD with #1 and this time around I did not. Maybe the placenta helped!
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#3 of 25 Old 08-28-2008, 06:46 PM
 
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Pregnancy was harder than I expected but mostly towards the end.

Labor was what I expected, but the delivery was WAY worse than I expected but I also didn't expect a little over 10lb. baby with a almost 15" head!

The first weeks have been trying with having 3 kids under 4 yrs. old. Plus ds has been a REALLY fussy baby....but he nurses great and I think sleeps as well as I could expect a newborn to. The girls adjusted pretty well though!
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#4 of 25 Old 08-28-2008, 07:04 PM
 
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Pregnancy was everything I expected from previous experience - very easy.

We planned a home birth but ended up with a 20-minute long hospital birth (I waited till transition to go to hospital) with only a midwife, birthing in a squatting position.. beautiful, powerful experience I hoped for (I had a traumatic first experience). We were sooo lucky that we ran into a midwife who believed in natural birth without any interventions.

Breastfeeding wasn't that easy as I expected it to be. We were hospitalized on Kai's third day because he ran a high fever and was dehydrated. They didn't let me nurse him for 24 hours but fed him formula and I couldn't express more than 1/2 oz of milk at a time. I had to supplement formula because of low milk supply and my inability to pump enough breast milk. I was devastated but didn't give up... we are in the process of relactation and only weeks (maybe days) away of breastfeeding exclusively.
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#5 of 25 Old 08-28-2008, 11:14 PM
 
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pregnancy was a much bigger pita than I expected--bedrest for 12 weeks!!

labor and delivery went just as I had hoped.

PP has been..well, I have PPD so it's been rough
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#6 of 25 Old 08-29-2008, 12:23 AM
 
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Pregnancy went perfect, although I worried so so much

Labor was fantastic. The pushing part actually felt really good. I mean really good

Baby is wonderful. Really sweet. Started smiling at 1 week and has been ever since. I'm loving having a girl this time around.

unexpected, the strange feeling of knowing our family is complete, and I'm done having babies.
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#7 of 25 Old 08-29-2008, 05:00 PM
 
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Yes .

Well, apart from spending the first tri of the pregnancy with a high risk Dr. due to 3 previous miscarriages, after that, and I switched back to the midwives, the rest was great.

The birth? Amazing. I'm still on a high from it when I think about it. In fact I can't wait to do it again! Natural waterbirth rules. I love love loved my mw, and the nurse assigned to us was practically like a midwife too since she was in training to be one.

The baby? Super cool, I love her to bits.

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#8 of 25 Old 08-29-2008, 05:03 PM
 
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I've been off the boards for a while, didn't even post my birth story, oh well.

I thought pregnancy was going to be a breeze, I thought I was going to feel beautiful and sexy and my body was going to feel wonderful because I'm young and in good shape. Ha, ya right. I spent the first half of the pregnancy nauseous and miserable, and the last third achy and anxious. I was not feeling 'sexy', that is for sure.

I expected labor and birth to be incredibly hard and long. In reality I had a practically painless birth and I didn't even know I was in real labor until I was pushing!

I really had no expectations for having a little one, I had never really been around babies before. So far so good, he is an excellent feeder and has a great temperment, thank goddess for chiropractic adjustments

Julia, mama to Bumpa 2008, and The Mole 2011

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#9 of 25 Old 08-29-2008, 06:48 PM
 
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All in all, I think pregnancy and childbirth was a lot easier than I'd expected it to be. Everyone tries to prepare you for the worst, you know? And so I assumed I was going to spend 9 months miserable, then 48h in the most intense and excruciating pain ever.

NOT SO. My pregnancy was a relative breeze (it got tough to sleep near the end there, though) and labour was nothing like I expected. Everyone told me "I'd know" when I was in labour, so I kept waiting for some sort of earth-shattering sign. As it turned out, if it hadn't been for my DH insisting I go see my mother when I had contractions I would have described as "mild" then I might never have known. After all the thirst-trimester discomfort, contractions were not the red flag I'd expected. From the time I figured out I was in labour to the arrival of my daughter 6h had passed. 6h of what I'd call "real" labour was nothing!

And the baby? Well... she's a gem. She has the nicest disposition and never, ever cries without a good reason. Our house is all peace and smiles! But I think I overestimated how much she would sleep, and how much time I'd have to myself. Maggie is awake continually, and I feel I should be interacting with her during that time - so I don't really get anything done. I've ordered a Mei Tai carrier, though... hopefully this will let me entertain her AND get something done!

Charlotte, mommy to Maggie (July 15th 2008) and Una (July 19th 2011)!
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#10 of 25 Old 08-30-2008, 01:54 PM
 
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Third trimester was a million times more comfortable then the first time around.

Labor/birth was amazing and not what I expected but I'm not sure WHAT I expected.

Newborn stage is a BILLION times easier than I expected. seriously. Rowan sleeps all the time, and doesn't cry hardly ever, and I don't wake up at night when I'm feeding him, and...and...everything is just EAsY! I'm still in shock. He's sleeping next to me on the couch right now! He is the mellowest baby; I'm so relieved I could burst into tears.
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#11 of 25 Old 08-30-2008, 06:14 PM
 
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This pregnancy was a little more difficult in terms of my symptoms all being much stronger than they were my first.

However, the labour and delivery was MUCH easier than my first. I was pleasantly surprised!
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#12 of 25 Old 08-31-2008, 12:54 AM
 
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Pregnancy was pretty much what I was expecting over all - a few things were better (over all, I felt better) and a few things were not so good (like all the crap i had to deal with regarding my iron levals at the end...)

Birth, well, that went as well as I could have hoped for for the most part. The only thing that was worse then what I had expected was the stabbing needle pain in my back. I was prepared for the contractions and all of that, but the nerve pain was more then I had reckoned for.

Next time, I'm going to get an adjustment or two before birth and pay more attention to my posture. I think that had a lot to do with it.

As for the baby? Well, she's awesome. Shes a great baby and is so so good. Makes me want another (in a few years, hehe)

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#13 of 25 Old 08-31-2008, 10:20 AM
 
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I loved being pregnant. There were only a few things that were not good or made me anxious. If I weren't 43 I could definitely see doing this again!
The birth was phenomenal. That experience is one of the best of my life.
And the baby -- words cannot describe how much I love her. She's a bonny little lass.

Lucky wife to DH and mom to DS (10/02) and sweet DD (7/08) and DSD (3/93) and assorted animalia
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#14 of 25 Old 08-31-2008, 01:28 PM
 
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the pregnancy went much quicker than i thought it would! my birth was wonderful, almost identical to dd1's birth, quick and intense. the only thing i wasn't expecting was for her to come quite so early (39 weeks) and for some reason i had been expecting another middle of the night birth, not a morning one.

Quote:
Originally Posted by christinespurlock View Post
unexpected, the strange feeling of knowing our family is complete, and I'm done having babies.
same here!

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#15 of 25 Old 09-02-2008, 03:00 PM
 
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The pregnancy - exactly what I expected as far as the being sick the whole time as I was with my previous 2. What was NOT expected was the low fluid issues and the PTL/bedrest that came with this pregnancy!

The birth - a little unexpected. I had my other 2 at 38 weeks and this one "baked an extra week", but I ended up going into labor only to end with a c-section due to a breech baby that didnt' wanan turn!

The baby - she's WONDERFUL! She nursed RIGHT off the bat and we've had no issues there. (Well, we had a couple of days where she got lazy and didn't wanna open her moth wide enough and was only getting nipple! OUCH! But that was quickly fixed.) And she sleeps really well at night (goes to bed between 9 and 10 and wakes to nurse at 4-ish and goes to sleep til 7-ish), and naps well during the day. She is a pretty happy baby.

Siblings - Exactly what I expected with DD. VERY helpful and wanting to do everythign she can for the baby. She was like this with DS, so I knew that's how she'd be with DD2. Now DS was a SHOCK! I thought FOR SURE we were gonna have some issues with him. HE gets SO jealous if DD1 is in our laps, sitting by us, etc. I was really concerned as to how he was gonna handle it when I had to nurse the baby, change the baby, etc. But he has been GREAT! NO jealousy at ALL! (Unless you count when Big Sis gets to hold the baby and he wants to, too, but it's Katelyn's turn! LOL) The only really issue we've had with him is that he wants to hug and kiss her ALL the time and just doesn't get that you can't SMOTHER the baby with affections! The baby DOES need to breathe once in a while! : We keep telling him he has to kis the TOP of her head, but he will, then proceed to kiss her face, too!

Wife to Kevin (8-1-98)
: Proud Momma to Katelyn (4-02), Calvin (4-06), and Ashley (7-08) :
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#16 of 25 Old 09-02-2008, 03:22 PM
 
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2nd marriage, 2nd pregnancy and birth oh-so-different in all regards!!! More supportive spouse is a definite bonus, but this is his 1st child, so he doesn't know what to expect and still freaks out a little if I do something different from what he's seen his mom/sisters do with their kids, which is often...I was induced this time after a completely natural and intervention-less birth 11 years ago, so it was like night and day, but I felt much more sure of my caregiver this time around, and didn't enter into labor&delivery with expectations that it had go a certain way or it would be "ruined" or otherwise unfulfilling. My daughter is more headstrong than my son, too--she definitely wants to be in charge of her own schedule! Would love to hear more about others' experiences, since it can be isolating home "alone".
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#17 of 25 Old 09-02-2008, 05:17 PM
 
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No, no and NO!

Pregnancy: Horrible pubic symphosis pain and GD. Don't want to be pg again, hated it.

Birth: Unwanted (but in the end, necessary) induction leading to agonizing 18 hour labor and eventual C section, leading to nasty infections for us both and a week and a half in hospital. No supply for over a week due to the illness, so lots of bf problems.

Baby: High needs. Many tummy troubles, DD nurses and needs to be held 24/7, so all I've done for 2 months is nurse and hold the baby. Poor little love is sore and crampy, so needs a lot of attention and DOES NOT NAP, or sleep, or settle with anyone else but me. She's on me getting cuddled watching me type this.

BUT! Even with all the problems, it's all a million times easier than everyone said it would be! I have a tiny beautiful baby who I have to cuddle all day every day - what could be better!! Everybody said over and over how hard newborns are, the lack of sleep etc... She's not an easy baby, and not always a happy baby, but she's sweet and soft and snuggly, charming and funny when she's not in pain, and just wants to be held by her mama. She's a little kitten and, honestly, I didn't expect mamahood to come so naturally. She makes it easy on me
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#18 of 25 Old 09-03-2008, 03:09 PM
 
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Ugh, the breastfeeding part. Unfortunately, the beginning of our breastfeeding relationship was exactly what I thought it would be. Just like my other two, I ended up with blisters and then open wounds on both nipples, which was excruciating. I had to alternate pumping & cup feeding with nursing sessions for 2 days to give my nipples time to heal.

After DS was born, I just thought he had a really bad latch. Then I thought it was odd that DD1 had the same bad latch. Now, after DD2, I know it's not my babes, it's the shape of my nipples that causes the difficulties. Things are better now but it was extremely painful those first few weeks. I would rather it happen to me than someone who was on the fence about breastfeeding, though, because even when it hurt the worst I knew that it would be better soon.

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#19 of 25 Old 09-03-2008, 06:28 PM
 
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Great thread - I was thinking about this myself.

Pregnancy - I was sicker and achier (SPD) than I was with my first so I didn't enjoy it nearly as much this time. I ended up taking it for granted. I suppose the novelty had worn off and I was very busy. I expected to spend the last few weeks revelling in it but Noa was born at 37 weeks and I still feel sad that I'm not pregnant anymore. I was one of the first to go in the DDC and I felt so jealous of all of you who were still pregnant and waiting for your babes.

Birth - I was happy that it began spontaneously and that I got my home birth. It was very quick and my recovery was really quite easy. It was painful and intense of course but it was all over so fast that I hardly knew what was happening and then there was my baby. What a trip! But I had really wanted a water birth and we didn't get the pool filled in time. I also wasn't really ready to go into labour so I spent a lot of it resisting (inner monologue was "I don't want to do this right now."). I wanted to be more intuitive about the process this time and I am mostly pleased with how that went and with the level of involvement from the midwives. I was ecstatic to deliver the placenta and stay home this time. But because it was early and fast and happened when we were kind of unprepared, there was a sense of chaos to it. (Good chaos, but chaos nonetheless).There were lots of visitors immediately after the birth that I now wish had not been allowed in. The sense of intimacy and magic that I hoped for were totally absent and the people I would have liked to share it with hung back because of all the other chaos. I didn't really know what hit me until a few days later so I wasn't in a place to make it what I had wanted.

Baby - she is of course amazing and I wouldn't ask for any other. Having two is easier than people make out in a lot of ways but it's hard to adjust to how little time I have for me. With one, I could take turns with dh and get breaks but now it seems we just take turns for which kid we are tending to and there's very little time when I don't have one or the other or both.

Her infancy has flown by though, partly due to choices we made, and now when I look back over the last 9 weeks, it's just a blur. I am sad that we didn't get as much of the nesting in as a family as I would have liked. I feel that dh and I didn't soak her up as much as we did ds and that makes me feel sad.

The events surrounding her birth make for a great story that she'll probably LOVE later - I can already envision how we'll all tell it together over and over. But I can't ever recapture those intimate first moments together that were kind of missed in the chaos.

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#20 of 25 Old 09-04-2008, 07:34 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Red Sonja View Post
Ugh, the breastfeeding part. Unfortunately, the beginning of our breastfeeding relationship was exactly what I thought it would be. Just like my other two, I ended up with blisters and then open wounds on both nipples, which was excruciating. I had to alternate pumping & cup feeding with nursing sessions for 2 days to give my nipples time to heal.

After DS was born, I just thought he had a really bad latch. Then I thought it was odd that DD1 had the same bad latch. Now, after DD2, I know it's not my babes, it's the shape of my nipples that causes the difficulties. Things are better now but it was extremely painful those first few weeks. I would rather it happen to me than someone who was on the fence about breastfeeding, though, because even when it hurt the worst I knew that it would be better soon.
I was exactly the same!
Whoever said BF shouldn't hurt did not take into account the first couple weeks where babe has to break in the nipples!! I too had what I thought was a good latch right off the bat but still ended up with blisters and cracking and bleeding for the first couple weeks. The toe curling latch after was brutal....but miraculously after much use of Lanolin they slowly healed up and now I am so grateful to have stuck it out.

Jenn (36), wife to DH for 13 years, DD1(13) , DD2(10) and DS(4)

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#21 of 25 Old 09-08-2008, 10:01 AM
 
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My pregnancy was fairly perfect - no issues, except I gained a little bit (umm, like 30 pounds) MORE than I wanted. Oppsie. But I felt much better than with #1. And so must less swelling. My delivery and labor was awesome. It totally made up for the debacle of delivery for #1. Even nursing has gone off without a hitch... I guess my nipples were already broken in, since ds#1 literally weaned a month or two before #2's birth... :-)

Michelle, Mama to ~ F (10/06) ~ S (7/08) ~ H (2/11) ~ B (11/12)
Expecting a surprise (5/15)
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#22 of 25 Old 09-26-2008, 12:23 AM
 
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I had a lot of issues. My first pregnancy was easy this one was hellish. Ds also had some issues.



Also unexpected is how VERY DIFFICULT it is to prevent older siblings to stop smooching on the baby while they are sleeping.

"Leave the baby alone" "Please don't bother the baby" "It just took me an hour to get that baby to sleep! NnnnnNooooooO!OO!OO!O!"

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#23 of 25 Old 09-28-2008, 01:08 PM
 
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Originally Posted by abimommy View Post
Also unexpected is how VERY DIFFICULT it is to prevent older siblings to stop smooching on the baby while they are sleeping.

"Leave the baby alone" "Please don't bother the baby" "It just took me an hour to get that baby to sleep! NnnnnNooooooO!OO!OO!O!"
same here! dd1 LOVES her baby sister, and wants to play ring around the rosie with her, which means grabbing her hands and yanking on them like crazy.

but as far as the thread goes...

pg: easier than with dd1 in the sense that i felt less sick in the 1st tri, and suffered less back pain in the 2nd and 3rd. harder with heartburn though. with dd1 i had to pop some tums every now and then. with dd2 i ended up waking up choking on vomit on a regular basis. it got to the point where i had to get a script for prevacid. but i figure it was b/c dd2 was 2# heavier than dd1 and about 1.5in longer. that's a lot more baby, and a lot less room for my stomach.

labor & birth: soooooo much easier than i could have ever hoped for! it went so fast and it was so wonderful to just be with DH and work through it. i was so loud during dd2's birth compared to dd1 (i really didn't make any noise with dd1), but i didn't voluntarily push with dd2 at all. my body did it all in about 5 pushes. it was great. my placenta took forever to come out, and i really couldn't muster a push, but it was great to not feel pressured by my MWs.

bfing: dd2 was a champion nurser from the start, and i didn't get nearly as engorged as i did with dd1. we had a sore start, but dd2 has a mild tounge tie that just needed time to loosen up. she's not nearly as barfy as dd1 was, so that's a real treat too.

pp: it's been pretty good. a lot less stress with DH than the 1st time around. i didn't get as much help as i had hoped from ppl other than DH though. my 2 bffs promised to be over and helping out lots, but have been too busy with their families and lives to help out as much as they'd said they would. it's ok, i don't hold it against them or anything, but i've just been on my own a lot more than i thought i would be. i started taking zoloft this week b/c i've been having a hard time with anxiety, but that's nothing new with me. i've struggled with low seratonin levels for the past 10 years, but i'm feeling really good now.

overall, i'm really happy with everything. i'm left feeling like i'm just not sure that we're done having kids. for now i told DH that i'm not even thinking about another baby until 3 conditions are met, then having one more might have to come up for consideration.

the 3 conditions:
1. be extremely financially stable (we're nowhere near that now)
2. dd2 has to be CLWed and totally PLed
3. my sister has to be pg or trying to become pg (she's not even dating anyone right now, so this one is rather far off)
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#24 of 25 Old 10-02-2008, 01:28 AM
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pregnancy: not at all what I had thought it would be. WAY HARDER. Preterm labor, hospitalized, Magnesium, bedrest.

Labor: WAY better than I thought it would be. Never thought it would be fun.

Postpartum healing: WAY HARDER than I thought it would be. My downtown got a huge hematoma and an infection. SO much pain and exhaustion from that for a good 2 weeks.

Breastfeeding: Easier than I thought however I never even considered that I would have a supply issue. I didn't even know that something like that existed.

Life with a babe: WAY HARDER THAN I THOUGHT. I can honestly say she hardly slept for 5 weeks. It was almost like I was a crack mom or something and she was coming off of something (of course that wasn't the case). She would just lay there and fuss or cry with her eyes extremely wide open. Kind of freaky actually. Then at 6 weeks the real crying began. Finally at 13 weeks she was diagnosed with reflux and we started some meds---much better since then.
I love her to bits but man were the first 13 weeks hard. Oh--plus I had to go back to work at 6 weeks PP b/c of previous bedrest.
However I am right on the edge of PPD so that really sucks.
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#25 of 25 Old 10-03-2008, 03:11 PM
 
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PG: pretty much what I expected... not without it's pains and grumbles but not terrible.

L&D: I went into labour by myself this time! And I had learned so much from on here and researching birth that I felt SOO much in control and I loved it. A bit held back with the midwife as we didn't agree on everything but she never MADE me do anything I didn't want... Much to her annoyment but she just accepted and dealt with it. And she knew going in that I was adament on MANY things and she still accepted it and myself as a patient.

Baby: Everyone kept telling me that my first was SO AMAZING that this one would be my terror... And I told them nope they had no way of knowing and the baby would be GREAT. And she's EASIER than my first!

PP: I think I was slightly depressed after DD1's birth and since she was born something "big" seemed to be happening ever since... and it hasn't stopped... I'm definately stressed out and dealing with some self esteem issues that have dated many many many years back but I have such a great husband he brings me such happiness. And I didn't have an uterine infection a week later this time, we didn't have any problems nursing (DD1 weaned in about my 5-6 month), and I didn't have any organs removed at 6 weeks this time (gallbladder last time) or the pain for the weeks before knowing what it was. And we moved while I was pregnant NOT just PP and Post surgery... However I still haven't unpacked or gotten full settled...

Mom to two beautiful girls and  ****5****10****15****20****25****30****35******

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