Who else's baby is bumping them up into the realm of a "Big Family" - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 40 Old 12-21-2007, 04:03 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Are you having your third, fourth or more? I don't consider 3 kids to be all that big but I know many people do consider more than 2 too many.

I'm wondering how our families will react. 3 kids seems to be considered a "big family" by our family even though my family had 3 kids and dh's had 4 (both planned on 2, my mom had a surprise and dh's parents each had 2 when they married).

His parents have made comments that you should have kids in even number and 4 is too many. I think it concern about finances more than anything else. I'm really not looking forward to announcing them!

Mom of a 7 yr old, 4 yr old, and 1 yr old. Wow. How did that happen?
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#2 of 40 Old 12-21-2007, 04:34 PM
 
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We are expecting our third and I would say none of the grandparents are too excited. It's a bummer because we certainly are.
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#3 of 40 Old 12-21-2007, 05:03 PM
 
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we're having our 3rd, and dh's 4th. Neither of our parents are all that thrilled - since I got pregnant with Henry my parents kept saying '2 is a great number', 'you should stop at 2', 'why would you want more than 2' Funniest thing is dh's mom had SIX, and she's even giving us grief!! Oh well - whatcha gonna do?

Amy... mom to
Keith, Henry and Caroline
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#4 of 40 Old 12-21-2007, 05:19 PM
 
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Hah, I was just contemplating this the other day.

This will be my 5th child (7th pregnancy) and DH's 4th child. That is a lot of children but not all of them live with us anyway. I sure wish they did though

I have always wanted a big family and I am just surprised at how much (I perceive it to be anyway) it is looked down on.

Ultimately, I just don't care. Fortunately, no one close to us is giving us grief, they know that we're just very happy and have a great family and want to add more to it and leave it at that.

Its just too bad when people can't keep their opinions to themselves, geesh.
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#5 of 40 Old 12-21-2007, 05:22 PM
 
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Hi, I'm Erin, I am 33 and we are pregnant with #4 !

Big families are wonderful !!!!

I once heard someone say to someone expecting yet another baby "How can you divide the love?" The answer is simple, love doesn't divide .... it multiplies!

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#6 of 40 Old 12-21-2007, 05:30 PM
 
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Hi from the June 08 DDC! We are expecting our third, and honestly I don't consider 3 to be a big family, at least as far as number of kids are concerned. Although there will be 5 of us altogether-I still think that's average. I know plenty of people however that think we have a "big' family. Certainly mainstream society does. I get annoyed when I see commercials advertising vacations for a "family of 4". Umm hello there's lots of families out there with more kids than that!
Hmm.... I guess we are kinda big aren't we? Come to think of it, our dining room table only seats 4 and is way too small...we need a bigger one lol. And things like a "family size" box of cereal or waffles? There's a joke...family sized groceries. Some items only make sense to get in family size-they'll just barely make enough for everyone and I know it wouldn't be enough for everyone once this new baby is older and eating dinner with the rest of us.
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#7 of 40 Old 12-21-2007, 05:39 PM
 
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#3 baby here!

I would like 5 kids for the total, by the time I reach 30!
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#8 of 40 Old 12-21-2007, 05:47 PM
 
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Where I live, (Utah) no one bats an eye at 3,4,5, or 6 kids. Around 7+ is considered "large."

However, I grew up in many different parts of the country in a family of 4 kids, and my mom would get comments like, "Are ALL of them YOURS?" all the time. I think it really depends on where you live whether other people see your family as large.
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#9 of 40 Old 12-21-2007, 05:49 PM
 
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I'm expecting #3, and most of the reactions I'm getting are at how close my kids will be. My oldest is about to turn 3, so I"ll have kids who are 3 1/2, almost 2, and newborn. I'm not worried, but the world seems to think I'm nuts.

DH and I want either 4 or 6 kids, but I don't see myself being done at 4. So this is my pregnancy that will make me 1/2 way finished. My mom is pretty excited about it. She has 5 kids and worked full time, so she's fine with me having lots since I stay home. My DH's family hasn't been told, but I"m worried that they won't be thrilled. DH is an only child, and when his dad remarried, he got 2 stepsisters. But they think that even 3 kids is a LOT. Oh, well. They're not the parents.

Either way, we'll be excited, and that's what matters.
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#10 of 40 Old 12-21-2007, 06:06 PM
 
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I'm expecting my fourth. It was totally unplanned, but we're excited.

My oldest will only be 5 when the youngest is born, and I know it's tough.

People already stare at me like we're freaks! It doesn't help that we're homeschooling, so I have all three kids with me everywhere we go (unlike most people in New England, who put their kids in school at 2 or 3).

Eh, what can you do. At least I'll have someone to change my diapers when I'm old, right?
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#11 of 40 Old 12-21-2007, 07:23 PM
 
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I am expecting my 4th - oldest will be about 4.5 when baby arrives. I was really nervous to tell my mom because she had kind of said a few times that 3 was enough and why don't I be done now... but she was totally cool and supportive when I told her. Other people just say I am crazy but they aren't unsupportive.
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#12 of 40 Old 12-21-2007, 07:47 PM
 
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We are having our fourth. People already comment on our "large" family -- I don't know if it's just the Bay Area or people I associate with! This was unplanned but we are excited and I'm hoping family and friends can share the excitement without snarky comments about overpopulation, having my hands too "full," OMG, what were we thinking, etc.
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#13 of 40 Old 12-21-2007, 08:08 PM
 
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This will be baby #3 for us....
Funny, I just posted something similiar in my intro post a little while ago about being nervous about sharing the news with my family. In-laws will be thrilled, however my parents are going to freak! My bro's wife is due in March with baby number one and I am afraid they(my family) are going to think I am trying to take the glory away from them. So I really am contemplating a few things on how and when to tell them. I wish it was easy enough to say.....WERE PREGNANT......and everyone be doubled over with happiness as we are. I have always wanted a largish(3-4 kids) family. My mom is the oldest of 9 and my dad the youngest boy of 4 kids. Most of the concern stems from our financial situation and the fact that we don't "own" our home and we drive used cars....etc. The way society is now is so lame sometimes on what they percieve or whatever.....ramble ramble...
Off to make dinner for the littles....

Kelli, Mom to DS 9/18/00, DD 10/18/03,and DS 8/16/08. ,,,,
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#14 of 40 Old 12-21-2007, 08:57 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by joyfulnoises View Post
Hi, I'm Erin, I am 33 and we are pregnant with #4 !

Big families are wonderful !!!!

I once heard someone say to someone expecting yet another baby "How can you divide the love?" The answer is simple, love doesn't divide .... it multiplies!

I just LOVE LOVE that answer

I'll be for sure using that one!
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#15 of 40 Old 12-21-2007, 09:02 PM
 
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At first I wanted 2 kids - probably because that's what my mom had and everything nowadays, like it was mentioned earlier, is made for families of 4. But I had this defining moment when I watched my friend's 2 kids along with my own one day - like this is something I was born to do and LOVE it. I was made to be a mom. My kids are beautiful and smart and how can I deprive the world of more of them? :-)
I also like the comment about having someone to look after me when I am old!
Plus it ups the odds of having at least one of them succeed in life! LOL

Jenn (36), wife to DH for 13 years, DD1(13) , DD2(10) and DS(4)

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#16 of 40 Old 12-21-2007, 09:45 PM
 
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I never considered my third to be making a "big family", I guess I just grew up around a lot of BIG familys, 6,7, or more. My DH came from 14. I think 4 is just the start of the big family range, but just barely.

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#17 of 40 Old 12-22-2007, 07:42 PM
 
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Dh and I are 29 and expecting our 4th baby. I don't feel like 4 children is a "big" family but alot of people must, because we are getting a lot of comments. I was born and raised in CA and my whole family is there. They think 2 kids is perfect, 3 is "plenty" and any more than that is unnecessary. I haven't told my family yet but my mom will be here right after Christmas and I think I probably have to tell her. I will only be 9 weeks and I was hoping to wait longer to tell her. We live in MI now and in this community it seems like 3 kids is about average and more than that is on the big side. When dh's boss found out we were pregnant he said "You know what causes that, don't you?" Dh told him it was planned and we are very happy. Some people are rude! Oh, and I have been asked on more than one occasion if I run a daycare! I only have THREE kids, not 10!

Blessed mama of four
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#18 of 40 Old 12-22-2007, 09:07 PM
 
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This will be our 4th living child, and everyone was very excited awaiting the announcment of our latest. After Kamryn passed away and we struggled with secondary infertility after that for 21 months, everyone expected us to have at least 1 more, but we want well, more we just don't know how many more. Originally when we found out we were pregnant with #4 (Kamryn, and she passed away) my IL's were not 100% happy, but grew more to love the idea then things happened, and our parents got to hold her right after she passed to say good bye. Anyway, they all just *wanted* us to have another. My mom on the other hand said you should stop having children when you can't spend "individual" time with each one of them so she was suprised when I said we would have more after this one. OH well, we love kids...ramble ramble

Tenk ~ happily married with lots of kids

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#19 of 40 Old 12-23-2007, 04:19 AM
 
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I'm pregnant with my 3rd in 3 years and not one person in our families was surprised. It's kind of disappointing when you tell your families and the standard answer is "well, we were waiting for you to announce another one". sigh.

Marina, married to one really great guy : and mama to three magical boys- Matteo 8/05, Nico 11/06 and Luca Bean 11/08
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#20 of 40 Old 12-23-2007, 04:34 AM
 
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This makes #3 for us. I think our families will be happy for us. They're always asking when we're going to have more, but I think it's because I'm their only hope for a girl baby (I have 2 sons and my sister has a son but doesn't want more). My hubby wants 4, we'll see how well we do with 3.

SAHM to 3 boys ages 10, 7, and 3.

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#21 of 40 Old 12-23-2007, 11:34 AM
 
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I'm expecting my 7th.

When we announced our 4th, we had NO positive reactions from DH's family, so after that we would wait to tell the news. WIth our 5th I was about 18 weeks, with our 6th I was about 22. This one we are seriously considering waiting until I'm about 30 weeks to tell. Why set ourselves up to hear the negative comments when we are SO happy about it? And people DO comment, and some of the comments are just so crass and vulgar. Ugh.

Only at my LLL meetings can I find real excitement- and even there I will now have the biggest family in my area.
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#22 of 40 Old 12-23-2007, 03:13 PM
 
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This will be baby #5 at home for us I also have a son who lives in Ohio, so technically this is my 6th child, he was adopted though.
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#23 of 40 Old 12-26-2007, 10:03 PM
 
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This is baby #3 for us. Not big in my mind, but HUGE in my parents mind! My mom always comments on how 2 is enough, we have a boy and girl, so thats perfect, etc. She only had 2 and said that she had one child to replace her and one to replace my dad. Ugh! Not looking forward to telling her. My IL's will be excited, they both have large families.

TF, BF, CD, HS, AP'ing Mama!

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#24 of 40 Old 12-26-2007, 10:16 PM
 
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I guess I'm in the minority here - 3 seemed like too many for ME (and dh), but here we are And I have to tell right away! Plus this one we found out about on Christmas so what better of a Christmas present could there be for the grandparents?!? They can't talk anyhow, because my MIL had her "oops" with #3 and my parents had 7 (I think the last 4 were "oops" babies). I think I'll be OK with 3, but I'll have to prepare myself a bit in the coming months. That's not to say I'm not happy, though! I think because this was unplanned I feel like people are looking at me like I'm crazy (and because I have been pretty vocal about how 2 is plenty for me). I did get a weird reaction from my sister who I am close with, but I think she's just a bit disappointed that I can't drink with her on New Year's Eve (we live 1,000 from them so I only see her a few times a year).
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#25 of 40 Old 12-27-2007, 12:34 PM
 
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This will be our fourth. Not too big, but not too small.

wife - mother - midwife

CIRCUMCISION

The more you know, the worse it gets.

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#26 of 40 Old 12-27-2007, 02:55 PM
 
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I am expecting number nine and I am not telling anyone until they can figure it out on their own. My parents no longer react, LOL. MDC, DH and DC are the only ones with an "in"

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#27 of 40 Old 12-27-2007, 02:59 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by krisalee View Post
When we announced our 4th, we had NO positive reactions from DH's family, so after that we would wait to tell the news. WIth our 5th I was about 18 weeks, with our 6th I was about 22. This one we are seriously considering waiting until I'm about 30 weeks to tell. Why set ourselves up to hear the negative comments when we are SO happy about it? And people DO comment, and some of the comments are just so crass and vulgar. Ugh.

Only at my LLL meetings can I find real excitement- and even there I will now have the biggest family in my area.
I hear ya! I actually don't talk to a sister anymore becasue she was so nasty about my no. 7 announcement, telling me not to complain to her about being poor if I insist on having children and that I should abort. She is childless and will remain so. Family can be the nasiest of all.

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#28 of 40 Old 12-27-2007, 09:49 PM
 
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Well, I'm responding late on this one but .... Yeah this makes #4 for us as well. No one greeted our news with negativity atleast .... all grandparents from both sides are happy .... but immediately began with the comments of "So which one of you is getting snipped?" and other such things along those lines. I'm really getting sick of "Have you figured out what's causing in yet?" Gee. Like I haven't heard that one since I announced #2 .....

Overall, I just let it go in one ear and out the other. No one else has to live my life and I don't have to recieve their negativity either!
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#29 of 40 Old 12-27-2007, 11:05 PM
 
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I hear ya! I actually don't talk to a sister anymore becasue she was so nasty about my no. 7 announcement, telling me not to complain to her about being poor if I insist on having children and that I should abort. She is childless and will remain so. Family can be the nasiest of all
. OMG that is just HORRIBLE! I am so sorry. I just can't understand why it truly offends people for others to have large families. There is more to life than being rich, and why does a large family have to equal being poor? My mom arrives from out of state tomorrow so we'll see how she reacts to the news that we are expecting #4.

Blessed mama of four
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#30 of 40 Old 01-18-2008, 02:36 AM
 
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We have 2 boys, a girl and this will be our fourth, but one of my son's is my stepson so this is only my third pregnancy. Anywho.. We'll now be a family of 6 altogether.

I have 3 brothers, the oldest I haven't told, the 2nd oldest was really happy and said he needed to catch up to me , and the third was happy, but I can tell he was thinking we're a little nuts. I'm the baby of the family and financially we do ok, but no where near my older siblings (5, 10, and 12 years older so that's to be expected). My brother in law and his wife were happy but immediately took over the conversation that they want another one and went on an on about that... My in-laws who while I was prego with our daughter told my husband they would pay for him to get "snipped" were happy in the polite way. My parents were happy for us thank god for my parents!

I admit I'm not sure how we're going to deal with our new arrival which is a little scary but this baby is so very much wanted and we're so happy about it, it will all work out in the end. As far as dealing I more mean scheduling.. My husband and I work shift work which most of the time is opposite shifts and thankfully my daughter naps at great times for us, but a baby doesn't sleep like that!

7th Heaven here we come! Due date early May
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