It took my parents a few years of miscarriages, lost twins, etc., to have healthy babies born, so I thought it might take me a while too. Instead, I have what seems to be a healthy pregnancy and now, when I should be so thrilled that things are going so well, I've been taken off guard by this anxiety. I've struggled with anxiety in the past and, because of that, thought I might deal with post-partum depression, but I really didn't expect to be dealing with so much pre-baby anxiety. Is anyone else dealing with more than just normal nervousness?
I think that any 'irrevocable' change or decision can bring with it a great deal of stress, second thoughts, regrets, etc.; I don't think that what you're experiencing, especially in conjunction with all the woes the first trimester of pregnancy can bring, is at all unexpected or abnormal.
Hang in there, mama-to-be. Don't be afraid to seek help if you feel like you need it, but don't feel guilty about the way you feel. I think it's normal.
Mountain Biking Mama of 3 little beans, . Epumped 22mths for dd1 (2006)
Nursed my babe, dd2 (2008) until self weaned at 3yrs. We survived a major nursing strike.
Awesome for Baby #3 who turned out to be a (Aug 2013)!
Hormonal changes in pregnancy can also intensify moods and anxieties. In my last pregnancy, I had some intense anxiety attacks and other out-of-control mood episodes in the second trimester especially. I would know that I was overreacting, but I still couldn't get myself under control. I found that, of all things, increasing my protein intake really helped with the intense mood issues. My midwife told me to have three protein meals and three protein snacks a day, and my mood stabilized after that. Others have found vitamin B6 to be helpful.
If these anxieties continue and aren't helped by diet changes, consider looking for a counselor or therapist to talk to.
but like people said u ahve 9 months to adjust and by the 6th month i would see people out with their kids and go to places that had a lot of familys and tell myself that is going to be me and hubby and that is what i want
and i have to say once i started seeing families together it opened my eyes and i knew this is what i wanted
and u can still get the date nights alone once the new baby is here it takes plainning but it can happen and i have to say i love date nights but the whole time we talk about our son and we r like asking each other what do u think he is going hahahah
i'm going to try the protein idea. and a lot of faith.
i hope we both get freedom from the worries, and begin to really relax and enjoy this pregnancy.
Hang in there!
|Thanks, Goldfinch. I have seen Megan's thread, but hers was geared toward women with unplanned pregnancies. I would understand anxiety over an unplanned pregnancy, but I've been caught off guard by such anxiety over a planned pregnancy.|
When I found out about my first pregnancy, which happened after 4 years of ttc, I wept. Not tears of joy, relief, or disbelief -- just real, terrified, sad tears. I really think it's a totally normal reaction, if not the most common one.
I'd also say if anxiety is an issue for you get supports ASAP so they are in place for when the baby comes, if you can look at your options now for diet, medication, herbs, a support system it might help the transition from being a nervous pregnant mom to a zen calm mom of a newborn (if you find that magic bullet let us all know
8 might be enough?
Or maybe 9 will be?
EDD September 18, 2015
What helps me, besides eating (even in the middle of the night, if there's anxiety a light snack or just some milk or oj for blood sugar can really stabilize things), is trying to connect with the baby. Instead of thinking about it all in the abstract and the future, just calming down and breathing and talking to the baby who is with me now and telling it that I love it and welcome it.
You are really not alone in this. Once I began talking to my other friends, I discovered that many of them experienced the same thing. I think it's a very normal experience. And as one person said to me, of course you're sad about how your life is going to change. If there were no loss to mourn, it wouldn't have been a very good life, now would it?
Pregnancy is also a crazy hormonal time, and, for the first month especially, I found it very hard to think and feel like a "rational" person. But, you're going to be okay. Just remember that it's okay to feel whatever you feel, and that we're all here to support you.
A, partner to J, mama to O, now with a new username!
Building queer family since 2008!
(and oh, did i mention we're having twins?!?)
"And when our baby stirs and struggles to be born it compels humility: what we began is now its own." Margaret Mead
Book lover - Sewer - Movie lover - Mommy to a wonderful little boy (8/4/08) - Aspiring writer - On a mission to lose 15 pounds - all-around cool chick
My baby is also longed for and prayed for. But I never expected that I'd be in constant pain. (Muscle problem I didn't know I had.) While I don't regret this baby, I REALLY regret being pregnant - kwim? It sucks.
I want so badly to just enjoy being pregnant. I assume that's you too.
I got depressed. And looking back I really should have gotten some counseling because nobody realized how bad it was for me. I needed some support other than my really overworked dh.
Don't feel guilty about mourning the loss of what might have been for you. Depression during pregnancy is not talked about often, but I think it is actually really prevalent. I'm glad you have some resources to draw on and I wish you the best.
ETA: There's usually a thread about pregnancy depression over on the PPD board. Here's a recent one.