Um, Wed night I spotted - like 2 drops. Thursday afternoon, something like 6 drops. At a friend's house at the time. He drove me to the hospital immediately and dh met me there.
5 hours later... HCG count was decent. VE showed me closed and not currently bleeding. Baby couldn't be found on belly-only ultrasound. After much hunting with the transvag, Baby was found at 6wk5d with no heartbeat. I'm 12 weeks.
Dh and I don't believe it. Literally. It doesn't match up with what my body's been going through. According to the ultrasound, my morning sickness started post-death and my belly grew a lot after-the-fact too. Makes no sense at all. It does not make sense to believe he's gone. He does not make sense to believe he's still in me.
We have a slew of friends very literally praying for a miracle. I am still in the DDC. For now.
Anyway, I did actually go into shock last night - the full-fledged white face, shivering, desperately thirsty weirdness. My seizure problems were the hardest to control I've ever remembered last night (from stress). Slept maybe 4 hours. Fixin' to go try for more. I've hardly cried at all.
I want to continue updating the Who We Are sticky. Otherwise, I need to be away at the moment and process. When new posts are added to that thread, I get notified by email.
However, I also have been occasionally bumping mamas from the main list to the angel baby list. I'm asking one of you to volunteer to PM me with the mama's username when that happens. That'll keep me from needing to actually read the new posts on the DDC.
Thanks in advance. Please lemme know who you (volunteer) are. Just post it in this thread so others know who my contact person is.
Bella Rose is here 07/29/10!
Always missing my
A, partner to J, mama to O, now with a new username!
Building queer family since 2008!
(and oh, did i mention we're having twins?!?)
I need to be crying hysterically and I need to be all giddy because I'm pregnant. But I can't do one while needing the other and I can feel it sending me right back into shock again. I am so sick. AND I'm really scared of what miscarrying will be like - if, of course, that really does happen.
I seem to be finding an emotional compromise by crying my eyes out while saying, "I have to hope. I HAVE to hope..."
Meanwhile, we wait. We just wait to see what happens. But I've truly never been through anything so traumatic. All in 24 hours, I'm having anxiety attacks that are terrifying, had to get a transvag ultrasound as well as a exam by a male doctor, was in the ER, got those ultrasound results, and then promptly went into shock. Gag.
Not only are my emotions reeling, but my whole body is too. All the problems are in my personal bubble - my body, heart, head. I can't get away. My WORD, if only the anxiety/racing heart thing would stop! It's keeping me terrified when I'd otherwise get little breaks to regroup.
Oh Jesus, just let me sleep through it.
Hey, those of you that are praying, thank you so much. Please focus on the anxiety attacks for me.
|If an ultrasound is done at 6 to 7 weeks and a heartbeat is not detected, does that mean there is a problem? No it does not mean there is a problem. The heartbeat may not be detected for reasons that include: tipped uterus, larger abdomen, or inaccurate dating with last menstrual period. ...........If you receive an ultrasound exam after week 6, your healthcare provider will begin to be concerned if there is no gestational sac.|
Shiloh who thought she was 11 weeks and is only 8
8 might be enough?
Or maybe 9 will be?
EDD September 18, 2015
I think the worst part of what you are experiencing from my own experience is just NOT knowing either way for sure. I hope you find your answers so you can begin to move in the right direction, limbo is so hard.
Mountain Biking Mama of 3 little beans, . Epumped 22mths for dd1 (2006)
Nursed my babe, dd2 (2008) until self weaned at 3yrs. We survived a major nursing strike.
Awesome for Baby #3 who turned out to be a (Aug 2013)!
Book lover - Sewer - Movie lover - Mommy to a wonderful little boy (8/4/08) - Aspiring writer - On a mission to lose 15 pounds - all-around cool chick
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