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#1 of 21 Old 03-28-2008, 03:28 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Problem, that's what it is!













I had my ultrasound today and found out I'm growing a healthy wiggle squirmy baby boy!!!!

What is the problem you ask? I seem to be surrounded by closed minded individuals who seem to believe that it is my duty (I have been told "you better have a girl") to bear a female child, since I already have a boy, and everybody knows that a boy and a girl and a little doggy and a white picket fence makes the perfect life! :

My dh and I are over the moon about having another boy, we didn't care about the sex, but others are really gunning for a girl, so I kinda told a lie.

I told everyone that we don't know the sex... When they asked I just shrugged and said "it's a surprise I guess" and that lead them to believe that we couldn't see the gender.

Sigh, I don't know why but I just can't deal with the "Oh... congratulations!" and the pretending to be excited for a second. I'm actually excited and I think it would break my heart a little every time someone had that type of reaction. I just feel like keeping this close to my heart for right now... kwim?

I am not crunchy enough for this forum. Everyday I get a little crunchier though! :
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#2 of 21 Old 03-28-2008, 03:33 AM
 
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Congratulations on your second boy!

When I was pregnant with #2, everyone was hoping it would be a girl, since I already had a boy. We found out that she was a girl, and everyone was thrilled. I secretly kind of hoped for a second boy. Now that she's here, I love, love, love having her. But it was weird that everyone else was so thrilled because I'd have the 'perfect family.'
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#3 of 21 Old 03-28-2008, 10:17 AM
 
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I had two boys in a row, and its wonderful! Congratulations. My boys are as different as night and day and they love each other so much and are so sweet to each other. (At 7 and 5 they still kiss each other goodbye when they get to each other's classrooms in the morning. The older one pats the little one and reminds him to have a good day and if he needs him, he's right across the hall.) They play all the time and its such a relief to me to be able to make dinner while they are building a fort or acting out some elaborate game of "I'm the baby you're the daddy." When I found out I was having a second boy I thought he would be just like the first one, like, okay, we can do this again. But turns out they look nothing alike and their personalities are opposite. My first was active and quiet, not liking too much touch or snuggling, and is so low key. My second is snuggly and emotional, affectionate, loud, dramatic, enthusiastic. You'll have so much fun. And believe me, people say dumb things no matter what. They really do. But since this is my third pregnancy the "you better have a girl" stuff got really serious. I just said, "nonsense!" But we actually are having a girl, so surprise surprise, we'll get another individual in this family to meet and know and love.
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#4 of 21 Old 03-28-2008, 11:30 AM
 
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Congrats! I really really really wanted to be a mama to 2 boys. That was when I was pregnant for the 2nd time, and after that pregnancy and my next ended in miscarriage I decided I would be happy with a boy or girl as long as they were healthy!

Now that we found out we're having a girl, it annoys the hell out of me that everyone I talk to says "Oh I know that's what you wanted!" or "Oh, that's just perfect, a boy then a girl...now you're done right?" Makes me want to scratch their eyeballs out.

Have fun with your little boys!

Mama to a 5.5 yr old boy and a 2.5 yr old girl.  Expecting baby 3 (another girl!) late June
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#5 of 21 Old 03-28-2008, 11:46 AM
 
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Congrats on 2 boys!!! I have 2 boys (5 & 3) and it's just wonderful. But of course now I've been getting "so you want your girl right" or "you won't be disappointed with another boy?" It blows my mind people say these things, but they don;t think before they speak. I say I'm thrilled either way and honestly another boy would be so much easier financially for us as we have so many clothes and boy stuff already. And like Rach said, as long as Peanut is healthy, that is the only thing I care about - gender is not an issue!

It is funny though how that stereotype comes into play - like my family is less perfect b/c there's no little girl. I kind of enjoy being the only one in the family with all boys. I hope that boys as teenagers will be easier than girls

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#6 of 21 Old 03-28-2008, 01:06 PM
 
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Congrats on your second son! I love having two boys, but I'll admit it was a disappointment to me at first because we thought we'd only have 2. I selfishly wanted that mother-daughter experience. I quickly fell in love with my second little guy and like the others have said it's wonderful watching the two boys grow up together.

My MIL actually tried to convince not to have anymore children because "you'll never get a girl! Once you have 2 boys that means you will only have boys!" My mom pressured us to have another to try for a girl. After losing 4 babies, we were happy to have anyone join or family. You really gain perspective on what's important when you lose a child.

I'm Deborah, mama to Aidan, 11/02, Sean, 9/04 (my T21 SuperBoy), and Eleanor, 8/08.
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#7 of 21 Old 03-28-2008, 01:16 PM
 
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Congratulations on your second son!!

Didja save the baby clothes? Is your eldest all kinds of thrilled to have a baby brother coming?
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#8 of 21 Old 03-28-2008, 01:19 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by meredyth0315 View Post
I hope that boys as teenagers will be easier than girls
My parents thought so, but they said it was important to give my little brother things to do that let him get his adrenlin rushes without real danger--so lots of rock climbing, roller blading, and such, so he wouldn't go off and drive cars too fast or something.

Of course, that'd be a good idea for any super physical child.
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#9 of 21 Old 03-28-2008, 01:34 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by sapphire_chan View Post
Congratulations on your second son!!

Didja save the baby clothes? Is your eldest all kinds of thrilled to have a baby brother coming?
I saved everything!!! (I had a premonition that we'd have another boy ) My ds is still too little to really understand but at the ultrasound he kept pointing at the baby and laughing and trying to kiss everyone. It was so sweet!

I'm so glad to have all of you lovely women who totally understand what this is like! I'm also so touched by the beautiful stories everyone shared about their families! It was like a big hug this morning and I really needed it.

Thank you everyone, I feel so much better and ready to face the weird comments once again!

I am not crunchy enough for this forum. Everyday I get a little crunchier though! :
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#10 of 21 Old 03-28-2008, 01:55 PM
 
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I have two little boys (and a new little girl) and I wouldn't exchange one of them.

I got that too... as all of my cousins had two boys... and then I had two boys... the Aunties were getting frustrated over their desire to go all out in pink.

I can't imagine life without my little guys. Before I had my first, I assumed I wanted a girl... but to be honest, now I can't imagine not knowing the joy of boys.

It's also quite wonderful for them to have each other to play with...and do boy stuff. I'm so happy that I have my two boys. I'm so thrilled that they have each other.

Of course, now that their sister has arrived, we're all madly in love with her. Her big brothers are so protective of her. They alternate between trying to initiate her into the joy of trains and cars... and then deciding she's enjoying their toys to much... so "here's your dolly, Sara."

(BTW, all of the Aunties who wish my #2 was a girl absolutely love the little guy as is. They say "Oh, we're so blessed to have DS2. He's such a sweet boy, etc.")

Mom to DS(8), DS(6), DD(4), and DS(1).  "Kids do as well as they can."

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#11 of 21 Old 03-28-2008, 03:55 PM
 
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Congrats!!!! on your 2nd boy! I think it would be so great to have the same sex in a row, I think it could make them even closer siblings.

We are going Monday to find out (my hubby REALLY wants to know so I said OK) I am worried I am going to get the same reaction that you are worried about if we find out we are having a girl (since I already have a DD) but I really just want a healthy babe! So I think we may just do the same thing and not tell anyone just let them find out after the babe is born


Quote:
Originally Posted by rach03 View Post
it annoys the hell out of me that everyone I talk to says "Oh I know that's what you wanted!" or "Oh, that's just perfect, a boy then a girl...now you're done right?" Makes me want to scratch their eyeballs out.
SO true!

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#12 of 21 Old 03-31-2008, 08:51 AM
 
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{{HUGS}} I feel you. YAY for boys!!!
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#13 of 21 Old 03-31-2008, 09:50 AM
 
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congrats

 Mom of many minions . . . babyf.gif jumpers.gif     jumpers.gif     jumpers.gif
"And when our baby stirs and struggles to be born it compels humility: what we began is now its own." Margaret Mead 
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#14 of 21 Old 03-31-2008, 11:18 AM
 
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earth momma i think we have the same families

my birthmom acually said why did is it a boy it was suppost to be a girl u already have a boy i think u and ur husband need to have more kids cause u need a girl lol

my dad said yes iam disappointed it is a boy

my stepmom said i wish it was a boy

i dont get it what is soo great about girls i throught boys were just as special as girls and iam sooo happy and over the moon iam having another boy totally looking forward to it and i do plain on having more kids and i acually want more boys like 5 more boys lol but i pray very very hard for little boys cause i want my family to learn they need to be happy with what god gives he gave me a gift u need to be happy my baby is healthy and happy

my IN laws said yes another boy that is great what can we name him lol we r letting them name our little boy lol since we cant agree on a name but they r over the moon excited for me to have another boy

Amanda mom to Mahmoud 7-20-06, Kareem 8-23-08, and Baby #3 due May 19th 2011
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#15 of 21 Old 03-31-2008, 05:16 PM
 
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Oh girl, screw what everyone else thinks or says. As long as you and your hubby are happy about this LIFE you are bringing into the world, nothing else mattes. Ken's whole family was hoping for a girl and was happy with a boy. Their all pretty much convinced all they can make are boys. LOL. I'm just happy my child is healthy and ok.

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#16 of 21 Old 03-31-2008, 05:35 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rach03 View Post
"Oh, that's just perfect, a boy then a girl...now you're done right?" Makes me want to scratch their eyeballs out.
ITA!!! I'm thrilled to be having a girl, but I hate that everyone assumes we are done and complete? I want more kids!
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#17 of 21 Old 03-31-2008, 06:41 PM
 
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"Oh, that's just perfect, a boy then a girl...now you're done right?"
SO MANY people said this when we had b/g twins with our first pregnancy. Lots of people said "instant family," as though a family with one child isn't a family, never mind two children of one sex, or no children at all... Oy.

Someone said, when a friend of mine had her third girl, "Oh, you're going to have to get your husband a dog." : People simply don't think about what they're saying.

Edited to add: I'm also keeping the sex of this baby (male) private from lots of people I know IRL... although now that I think of it, I may have some friends of slightly older boys I might hit up for hand-me-downs...

Decluttering SAHM of three. Going for 2011 items in 2011.
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#18 of 21 Old 03-31-2008, 09:06 PM
 
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Haha! Maybe it's just their way to be involved in your pregnancy. That's what I say to myself every time someone says something ridiculous, it's just because they care and want to be involved. (I just LOVED the "WOW, You're really showing early!" comments).

My husband wants to start a hockey team, so I must have at least THREE boys. No pressure.

We just found out, to everyone's chagrin, that IT'S A GIRL! They ALL thought it was a boy. Whatever. I'm so excited for my little girl, but I would have been excited for a boy too!

Why does it matter anyway? Love is not based on genitalia!

Nik! Mama to Evelynn Rose 08/19/08 and Autumn Lily 11/02/10
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#19 of 21 Old 04-01-2008, 12:25 AM
 
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I think its ridiculous that people make you feel like you have to hide this. you are right it is exciting no matter what you are having. when we found out we were having "the perfect family" I was so annoyed with all the "oh thats perfect" comments. but even worse were the "oh now you dont need any more" comments. Can I just say, what?!! mind your own bussiness! why do people think the value of our children at all depends on there gender? It doesnt!
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#20 of 21 Old 04-02-2008, 11:48 PM
 
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That happened to me with my second baby girl. This time around I didn't tell anyone about my pregnancy unless they would see me actually pregnant, but the rest of the people didn't know I was preggy and I decided to tell everyone the same day I find out the gender so they didn't have time to react lol!!! well, they were going to be surprised anyways because everyone thought we were done with kids, so did we haha!

CONGRATSSSSSS!!!!!!

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#21 of 21 Old 04-03-2008, 10:08 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks mamas, you all rock! I am so blessed to be surrounded with such compassionate, wise and forthcomming support!

I am not crunchy enough for this forum. Everyday I get a little crunchier though! :
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