Mamas expecting boys--the issue of the big C - Page 2 - Mothering Forums

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Old 04-30-2008, 08:57 PM
 
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I left it up to dh with our first and pretty much just let it go in my mind - no research - big mistake! I so wish I had thought through it more and done some research on it. I didn't find this board until ds#1 was 4 mths old and had I found it earlier I really think it would have made a difference. But after, even though I still had the same amount of knowledge, I deeply regretted doing that to him. In my heart I knew I had done the wrong thing.

Now fast forward to #2 - I put my foot down - NO CIRC!!! I think it was easier for dh to accept and agree with since ds#2 was 6 weeks early and was so little.

I don't think this will be an issue for them as they grow up. I mean, so what if their penis's look different. They don't have the same color eyes! I don't think that should be part of the decision making process.
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Old 05-02-2008, 01:11 PM
 
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Help! My husband and I are definitely leaning toward no circ, but we really want to find out some numbers for males needing circ for medical reasons after infancy. I can't find this anywhere. Although we *think* its not frequent enough to get Wip circ'd, we need to see the numbers, just so we know that we did unbiased research. Has anyone found this?
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Old 05-02-2008, 01:38 PM
 
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Originally Posted by bettie cracker View Post
Help! My husband and I are definitely leaning toward no circ, but we really want to find out some numbers for males needing circ for medical reasons after infancy. I can't find this anywhere. Although we *think* its not frequent enough to get Wip circ'd, we need to see the numbers, just so we know that we did unbiased research. Has anyone found this?
There is not a legitimate reason to do this for medical reasons:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uCOtI...eature=related

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Old 05-02-2008, 06:15 PM
 
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There is not a legitimate reason to do this for medical reasons:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uCOtI...eature=related
Thanks for the link. It is a really informative video, and backs up what we were already thinking - though still didn't give me the answer I am searching for. I know there is no medical reason for a newborn, but we are looking for the rates of males that are not infants needing circumcision for a medical reason later. My f-i-l had to about 10 years ago b/c of diabetes complications (I think that's why, it was never a big topic of discussion at dinner or anything. ;-) ) - so I was wondering about numbers in those terms. Mainly to be able to have concrete facts - or, to put it bluntly, be able to tell that nurse that she is full of it.
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Old 05-02-2008, 11:25 PM
 
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The risks of the procedure as a newborn surely outweigh the risk of needing the foreskin removed for medical reasons as an adult.

I don't know any numbers. Anecdotally, though, I know of one person who had it removed as an adult. My MIL dad "needed" it done as a teenager because of an infection (he was from Italy, where it was not common practice to do it to newborns). They strapped him to the kitchen table for the procedure! Sanitary conditions are a lot different than they were back then.

I'm sure that the procedure was unnecessary. They could have given him antibiotics/ointments but they removed the foreskin because back then it was thought to be "dirty" anyway.

I mean, think about it. It's just a piece of skin, why would you need to remove it? I guess it would happen as often as needing your ear lobe removed.

Maybe if you have STD's? I don't know...

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Old 05-03-2008, 03:17 AM
 
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My DH (who was born in a different country, and would die if he knew I was telling his business) was circ'd as a teenager (maybe 12 or 13). I can't remember the exact reason, but I think his foreskin wouldn't retract all the way. Not positive though.

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Old 05-03-2008, 05:43 AM
 
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my fil had his removed at age 43 and that wasn't that long ago! He had an infection and that's why they had it done. He actually begged me to have my first son circumcised so he wouldn't have the memory he now does.

We're still on the fence. I don't want to do it this time around, but dh is adamant. So, it's his job to convince me... and he knows it. I really wish there was a forum where both sides were able to be pro and against circumcision to see both sides. I understand why it's not allowed, but I really want to see stats on both sides of the fence too.

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Old 05-03-2008, 12:58 PM
 
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my fil had his removed at age 43 and that wasn't that long ago! He had an infection and that's why they had it done. He actually begged me to have my first son circumcised so he wouldn't have the memory he now does.

We're still on the fence. I don't want to do it this time around, but dh is adamant. So, it's his job to convince me... and he knows it. I really wish there was a forum where both sides were able to be pro and against circumcision to see both sides. I understand why it's not allowed, but I really want to see stats on both sides of the fence too.
I always find this to be an interesting but wrong-headed argument. Ok, maybe the baby won't remember it in the same way a grown-up will, but it still happens, the pain is still felt. And the baby has no words to process the trauma. Really, if it is so horrible and traumatizing, wouldn't a 43 year-old be better equipped to handle it than a newborn?

FWIW, I had these discussions too and we decided no circ if we have boys. I had some family members coming to me with some pretty irrational arguments for why I should subject a baby to this.

Best of luck with all your discussions! I know it can be rough.
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Old 05-03-2008, 06:33 PM
 
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I may be a bit uninformed on this point but I can't understand the concept of "needed to have it done later."

Women get infections and such but no one ever needs to have the clitoral hood removed. People don't need their eyelids removed.

It just really confuses me as a question. Its a body part that self cleans, self lubricates, and is protective of the delicate tissue underneath. Why would you "need it removed." For an infection, it makes no sense to me, just take antibiotics. For adhesions, I guess I understand that that's complicated. But there must be a way to deal with it other than surgically removing a functioning body part? Maybe there isn't, I don't know, but it seems to me there must be.
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Old 05-03-2008, 07:38 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Sigrid View Post
My DH (who was born in a different country, and would die if he knew I was telling his business) was circ'd as a teenager (maybe 12 or 13). I can't remember the exact reason, but I think his foreskin wouldn't retract all the way. Not positive though.
maybe he wasn't just ready... it works the same as birth, why to induce when the baby is not ready yet?!?

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Originally Posted by foogoomomma View Post
I don't want to do it this time around, but dh is adamant. So, it's his job to convince me... and he knows it.
Send him this video, there are the 2 sides here in the end, they agree that is pure BS to perform C. It is a really funny but 'serious' video (set of 3) so make sure he watches at least the 2nd video which goes exactly where it needs to go!

Penn & Teller: Bullshit! - 301 - Circumcision 2/3 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p1NbfRzHv74

My husband was the same as yours, I showed him this video (because the others are too traumatic and this one has the 2 sides - and they have some sort of humor) when the video was over, he said: It got me thinking...

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Women get infections and such but no one ever needs to have the clitoral hood removed. People don't need their eyelids removed.
Amen!

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Old 05-03-2008, 10:55 PM
 
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Thanks for the link. It is a really informative video, and backs up what we were already thinking - though still didn't give me the answer I am searching for. I know there is no medical reason for a newborn, but we are looking for the rates of males that are not infants needing circumcision for a medical reason later. My f-i-l had to about 10 years ago b/c of diabetes complications (I think that's why, it was never a big topic of discussion at dinner or anything. ;-) ) - so I was wondering about numbers in those terms. Mainly to be able to have concrete facts - or, to put it bluntly, be able to tell that nurse that she is full of it.
In countries other than the US its less than 1%. Rates of adult circumcision are higher in the US because doctors here are generally not educated about foreskins and ways to treat problems that might occur other than removing it.
Some doctors will suggest circumcision for boys if they get recurrent UTIs yet they would never suggest that parts of a female be removed for UTI.

Mom of a 7 yr old, 4 yr old, and 1 yr old. Wow. How did that happen?
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Old 05-04-2008, 04:03 AM
 
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Sasha, I was like you when I had my first. Young and inexperienced, never exposed to anything outside of the "norm". My oldest two boys are circ'ed because I thought all boys were. Okay, yeah, I was a little naive back then.

My youngest is not circ'ed. And neither will this one be if he is a boy. My oldest asked a long time ago why the baby's looked different. I told him that they used to recommend that boys have that extra skin removed to keep things clean, but now they know it's not necessary. That was sufficient for him. As a L&D nurse, I have seen the bad outcomes, and just can't put another son through that. I regret that I didn't know more back then.

And I never really understood the "to look like Daddy" argument. My boys are blond, blue eyed and dimpled like Daddy. I don't think they need to compare penises to be sure they're his.
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