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#1 of 65 Old 05-06-2008, 02:11 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Have friends/family already mentioned a shower?
When will it be held?
What type of shower do you envision?

My sister wants to host a shower for me. It won't be until July. It will probably be on a Friday night due to various scheduling conflicts. She is envisioning something that's more "cocktail" than frou-frou, which is fine with me. It will probably be small - I only have a few local friends and family.

Just wondering what is in the works for everyone else. Does anyone have un-traditional (non-"frou frou") shower ideas?

Baby Boy 9/08 & Baby Girl 3/11

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#2 of 65 Old 05-06-2008, 02:17 PM
 
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Oh, I am envious. My mom does not believe anyone should get a shower after thier first baby...after getting rid of everything I could really use one though. Also with this being a VBAC I just would love to celebrate the upcoming birth with other empowering women.
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#3 of 65 Old 05-06-2008, 02:30 PM
 
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Not that I know of, although I do know a few women who've had showers for their third babies. I'd love one, though
A friend of mine just had her first baby, and her husband's boss and his wife did a couples shower for them. They did beer/wine/cocktails and a barbeque buffet. It was basically a casual Saturday night party. After everyone had eaten, the guys went down to the basement to watch a ballgame, and the women stayed upstairs and did presents. It was very nice!
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#4 of 65 Old 05-06-2008, 02:33 PM
 
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I'm sorry if this comes across the wrong way, but I really hope to have one! I've probably thrown over a dozen bridal/baby showers over the years for my friends and family, including for my sister.

My family is very ettiquite-conscience. My mother does not believe that "family" should throw showers for family, even though I participated in throwing my sister a bridal shower and hosted her baby shower.

DH sister (my SIL) is engulfed in a bitter divorce and can think of nothing else aside from making her STBX's life miserable. I know I will not get any cooperation from her even though I threw her a beautiful baby shower 2 years ago. I'm sure my friends are probably waiting for my family to throw me a shower (see my problem above), so I'm not counting on anything.

I never had a bridal shower because I eloped, so it would be nice to have one day where people were making a big deal. I know that sounds selfish, but I never did the big fancy wedding with multiple showers (my choice), so I kinda would like a little recognition for this upcoming baby.

We are also a little "older" and have been married 10 years, so I think most people just assume we can afford to buy whatever we want. To a certain extent, that is true. I just would like a day that is celebratory of this new little life and my new role as a momma. That's all.

Thanks for reading...
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#5 of 65 Old 05-06-2008, 02:37 PM
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we are having a shower. we decided that we wanted a party to celebrate our baby.

Have friends/family already mentioned a shower?

no one mentioned planning one for us, and so we decided that we would plan one for ourselves. technically, our parents (future grandparents) are hosting the party.

When will it be held?

Ours is set for June 22. this date was picked entirely on intuition. my preference is actually for June 21, but that didn't work out for some important folks (like my parents!). So, we put it on the 22nd of June.

What type of shower do you envision?

luckily, i'm planning it so i get exactly what i want. one of my friends and coworkers runs a local yoga studio where i work. this has a lovely open indoor space (yoga space) as well as a really nice garden.

i plan to have the party in the garden, with the indoor space being used secondarily if it rains. i also plan to put the "gifts table" inside the house. i'm putting my FIL in charge of gathering the gifts that people bring and putting them on the table.

i am planning live music for about 2 hrs. i'll pay for that aspect, but we'll also leave a tip jar for them. they're young kids (college age) and we like their sound (accoustic guitar/voice--two young men).

we're going to have quiche, fruit, and veggies available, as well as cake. ice tea, water, and soda water will be the offered.

oh, and it's a "jack-and-jill" shower with both men and women present because most of our friends are men.
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#6 of 65 Old 05-06-2008, 02:41 PM
 
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diamond lil, you should do like zoebird and throw one for yourself! I've thought about doing that as well
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#7 of 65 Old 05-06-2008, 02:48 PM
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diamond and those with more than one child:

if you want a party, throw a party. i wanted a party because i want the baby to be celebrated! Once i figured out that no one else was going to throw one, i decided to do it myself!

i think that every baby should be celebrated!

to me, if other's think it's tacky or whatever, they can decide not to come or not to buy a gift or whatever. I just wanted a party to celebrate this exciting thing in my life!
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#8 of 65 Old 05-06-2008, 02:58 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Diamond, I'm conscious of the etiquette as well. But at the same time... I don't really care. It's not about gifts really, it's about celebrating the baby.

I like zoebird's idea. If you do something like that, you could describe it as a celebration, not a shower. Semantics might help with the family issue. Friends/family could help plan and hopefully someone would take over most of the responsibilities so you could relax and enjoy the day.

Baby Boy 9/08 & Baby Girl 3/11

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#9 of 65 Old 05-06-2008, 03:24 PM
 
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Have friends/family already mentioned a shower?
My co-workers are throwing me one at work on May 23 and my family and friends are throwing me one on June 21.

When will it be held?
My family and friends one is going to be held at the community center of a local church.

What type of shower do you envision?
Women-only, very baby-ish with tons of ballons and floral arrangments. I love flowers and balloons and requested that tons of them be there.

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#10 of 65 Old 05-06-2008, 03:25 PM
 
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Have friends/family already mentioned a shower?

My friends have mentioned one and so have the girls at work. I think that means I'm having two.

When will it be held?

So far my reg. friends are planning one for mid-late July and I have no clue as to when the girls at work are doing it.

What type of shower do you envision?

I don't think I'm really going to be involved in the planning process. For my regular friends it's really a chance for us to all get together and those changes are few and far between. Since it will be super hot here it will be inside that I know for sure. Either at a restaurant or at someone's house (not mine!).

The one with the girls at work will either be at work or at someone's house.. no idea there, but I'm sure it will be crazy because well those girls are a bit wild lol

7th Heaven here we come! Due date early May
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#11 of 65 Old 05-06-2008, 03:44 PM
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my invitations, btw, are post cards through vistaprint. it's 100 post cards (our list is about 75 people, but we don't expect most people to come because they live far away, but we have to invite them because they are family or friends) and envelopes and i think it comes to $30 or something for the lot. I figure a few extras won't hurt.

on the front, it says

Quote:
Celebrate the Baby
with J and R!

day/time

location
then on the back, the invitation is written on the left side, while directions to the venue are written on the right.

the invitation reads:
Quote:
Mike and Alice Smith with Aaron and Lisa Jones

warmly invite you to join us for food, music, and great company
celebrating J and R's first child!

Date
Time

Location

RSVP to Lisa at Phone Number

The pleasure of your company is the greatest gift, but should you like to give another, J and R are registered at thingsiwant.com.
of course, i changed my family's names here, but you get the idea.

we figure about 30 people or so will come to the party.
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#12 of 65 Old 05-06-2008, 03:46 PM
 
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diamond lil, you should do like zoebird and throw one for yourself! I've thought about doing that as well
I'm totally digging this idea!!!!
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#13 of 65 Old 05-06-2008, 03:48 PM
 
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I am getting one, it might be done in July - I'm in no rush really.. My best friend is doing it for me

Latina Mama of 3 and Wife of a great man since 1997
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#14 of 65 Old 05-06-2008, 03:55 PM
 
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My best friend is throwing me a shower but I have laid down some rules. Both male and females (and their kids!) are invited, it's a BBQ, no shower games, swimming, beer must be readily avaliable and no crazy decorations. Basically, it's a BBQ She and I went back and forth on the "no baby shower games" request but I won because it's my party.
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lil, you and new baby definitely deserve a shower! Do whatever it takes to get one. I don't think you should even have to plan it, make your DH do it!

I also think that all babies should be celebrated, not just first babies. If you already have children then just a sposie shower (if you're not CDing) or something of that ilk would be good! I'm waiting for my SIL to get pregnant again so I can throw her a party!

Have friends/family already mentioned a shower?

Anyway, I didn't think I was going to have a shower. This baby came very close to our wedding, which people were very generous for. It's hard to expect people to give all over again just a year later. The only person I knew that would throw me a shower, SIL, had done my bridal shower last July and I didn't expect her to do it all over again...

But she did!! Because she's awesome!! I am so excited about my shower!

MIL kind of took over like she always does, though. She is being a poopy face about it because it was so close to the wedding. In her mind, it's all about the gifts. She's actually not inviting people that she doesn't think will bring gifts. WTF IS UP WITH THAT!? She's being a huge PITA! The shower is all about her, and people giving gifts because she gave them gifts. Therefore, she's inviting all her friends and none of mine. She's crazy.

When will it be held?

Last weekend of June

What type of shower do you envision?

Very traditional. Catered. At SIL's house. 75+ people.

Nik! Mama to Evelynn Rose 08/19/08 and Autumn Lily 11/02/10
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#16 of 65 Old 05-06-2008, 04:20 PM
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: Is there a pouty smiley? lol.

I have almost no good friends locally, and no family. Everyone I love most (except for DH!!) lives at LEAST 4 hours away, but most of them are halfway across the country or more. I wouldn't expect them to come to a shower--they were just here for our wedding last year! Plus, we honestly have more money than most of them, so asking them to fly here AND then have them feel like they had to buy us presents (even if we told them not to)--just seems wrong.

There are some people here I'm friendly with at work, and some of DH's friends, but that's about it. One of DH's friend's wives who I'm friendly with really wants to throw me one, but I'm embarrassed to tell her that I wouldn't know who to invite. Seriously, there would be like 5 people there.

So, I don't know. Friends have already been sending us some little gifts, and talking about visiting sometime soon. I'd rather have them come separately once the baby is here, so that they get to meet her, and I get to spend some actual time with them--not like the wedding where people flew across the country and I could barely spend 20 minutes with each of them because I was trying to play hostess to everyone at once!

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#17 of 65 Old 05-06-2008, 04:30 PM
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hyz:

i felt similarly, but then i realized that when we combined both of our work friends, our good acquaintances (we don't count a lot of people among close friends, and most live across the country, in another state, or in another acountry!), and the friends who do live here. . .

our list went from 5 to 75. lol. no lie.
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#18 of 65 Old 05-06-2008, 04:47 PM
 
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Originally Posted by holothuroidea View Post
MIL kind of took over like she always does, though. She is being a huge bitch about it because it was so close to the wedding. In her mind, it's all about the gifts. She's actually not inviting people that she doesn't think will bring gifts. WTF IS UP WITH THAT!? She's being a huge PITA! The shower is all about her, and people giving gifts because she gave them gifts. Therefore, she's inviting all her friends and none of mine. She's crazy.
OMG! WTF?! Don't stand for that! The shower is about your baby and you, not her friends and her. Tell her that you want your friends there and hand her a list of addresses. If she refuses to send them invitations, call them up, explain the situation, and invite them yourself! I doubt she'll turn them away when they show up at the door, gift or not. Enlist your SIL, who sounds awesome, in the process.
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#19 of 65 Old 05-06-2008, 04:55 PM
 
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no shower for me - 2nd kid and all. BUT, my friends (the ones that don't have kids) are all surprised that you don't traditionally have a shower after the first baby. We don't need anything really for this baby (unless the gifts included drywalling labor. haha) and I hate writing thank you notes - so, its a plus for me.
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#20 of 65 Old 05-06-2008, 05:19 PM
 
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Two friends insisted that they throw one for us. I have no idea what it will be because its all a surprise. I think they said early July. Hopefully inside or nicely shaded!

Mom of a 7 yr old, 4 yr old, and 1 yr old. Wow. How did that happen?
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#21 of 65 Old 05-06-2008, 05:23 PM
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Originally Posted by zoebird View Post
hyz:

i felt similarly, but then i realized that when we combined both of our work friends, our good acquaintances (we don't count a lot of people among close friends, and most live across the country, in another state, or in another acountry!), and the friends who do live here. . .

our list went from 5 to 75. lol. no lie.
You're right, of course. I guess I just feel funny inviting even good acquaintances to such a thing, especially when they don't mostly know each other. Thinking locally, I could probably easily have about 20-30 people from various sources, but the age ranges and interests vary so much, and I just envision these huge personality clashes and everyone sitting around feeling awkward. Or maybe that's just me. lol.

Ugh, and then there's family. Having my mom, dad, and stepmother together in a room is awkward at best, and adding DH's mom makes it worse because you can tell they're all really trying to get along, but none of them are comfortable at all--the wedding had some painful moments. : We're already trying to figure out how to make the baby's birthdays and everything go smoothly, but .... DH's dad died recently, his one sibling and her husband probably wouldn't be able to fly in, and I'm an only child with no close cousins or anything. This is why DH and I have solemnly vowed to stay together forever, and have at least 2-4 kids, and try to stay as close to his sister as we can--it sucks not having any kind of functional family to enjoy the good times with, although they'd always be there for us in the bad times if we needed it.

It was so sweet of this friend/acquaintance to offer to throw the shower (she loves that kind of stuff), but I almost wish she hadn't, especially because she didn't offer so much as insist. It makes me feel all odd and inadequate, and I'm not so much a party person anyway. I love people, but I guess I prefer them in small batches.

Mom to sweet DD 8/08, and adorable DS 10/20/10
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#22 of 65 Old 05-06-2008, 06:13 PM
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i find that when you have large diverse groups, people often find each other.

we get invited to a lot of odd parties. my husband's "work friends" are quite different from us, and they invite people from a variety of places as well. we always find someone to hang with, and so it's never really awkward for us.

we assume that other people behave similarly--we've always enjoyed going to parties even where we really hardly know anyone.

and, having a lot of people there can create a place where yoru family members don't have to interact so much. just introduce people when they come in to the people there, and you'll find that people will gravitate towards food and conversation on their own. you don't really have to do much of anything.

but, if you're not that much of a party person, why not ask this person to get together the 5-10 people that you would like there and just go to dinner or something simple like that?
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#23 of 65 Old 05-06-2008, 07:18 PM
 
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there are two showers being held for me for the sake of convenience, both traditional-style women-only (although i would be way more into the co-ed bbq + beer thing... jealous). one will be here where we live, given by dh's cousin and a friend of mine - we live in the same city as dh's family, so basically my mil's friends and fam plus some local girlfriends of mine. it's on june 21st. then about two hours away is where all of my fam lives - my best friend is throwing it, and this is my mom's AND my stepmom's friends and family (they are used to this stuff by now although i wouldn't say they are super-chummy... some of their friends are even mutual.) that one is on june 8th.

my drama is that we just got married a year ago (may 19th) and our parents were allowed extremely limited input on who was invited. and since my mom in particular has not quite recovered from the fights we had over the wedding guest list, i'm allowing completely free reign to my mom, stepmom, and mil on who they want to include on the shower lists. i'm trying NOT to think about it because it makes my skin crawl, but apparently that includes ladies who i haven't seen in 6 or 7 years from church, some of their daughters who i was never friends with in the first place, AND some ladies who i've straight up never even met before. well all i can say is thank god i did put my foot down on the wedding thing, which was perfect because it was small and all people we are really close to. this on the other hand is going to be awkward as hell!!!

it is the first grandchild in any of these families though, so i couldn't stop it all from being a really big huge deal if i tried! on the registry front, we are doing the babies r us thing and hoping people give us almost everything we need (i am buying cloth diapers on my own to save gift-givers from shock.) we didn't really have a wedding registry since we lived together beforehand and had most of the "stuff" --thus we got sort of crappy/useless wedding gifts (people in the south are not into giving money unfortunately). i kinda regret not picking out more stuff i would want, so this time it's finding the least tacky stuff possible at BRU and hoping for the best!!

lastly, i am helping plan the one that is out of town so i have a say in the invites and the games and food. thus it will be cute and girly but laid back, not overdone, and no competitive games or anything. I have NO idea what the other one will be like!! we'll have to do a report back in june on how this went for everybody.

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#24 of 65 Old 05-06-2008, 11:19 PM
 
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I mentioned to my mom I wanted to celebrate this new baby as well with something small, just close family & my girlfriends no more than 20 people invited which means like 10-15 will show up. She offered to throw one for me, we are calling it a "sprinkling" verses a "shower". My friend just had something similar and it was very nice! I don't want it to be about the presents just a time to see everyone before the baby comes and to socialize. I hope it works out well.


My mom and my MIL/SILs threw my last one and it was a big deal, we had 2 showers, one for my young friends (male and female) and one for my family (which is older).

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#25 of 65 Old 05-07-2008, 09:15 AM
 
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we are calling it a "sprinkling" verses a "shower"
Love it!
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#26 of 65 Old 05-07-2008, 11:50 AM
 
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My best friend is throwing me a shower but I have laid down some rules. Both male and females (and their kids!) are invited, it's a BBQ, no shower games, swimming, beer must be readily avaliable and no crazy decorations. Basically, it's a BBQ She and I went back and forth on the "no baby shower games" request but I won because it's my party.
oh but its so fun to watch grown men drink beer out of baby bottles. lol

we had a co-ed shower for my third and that was the one game i allowed, it was hilarious!
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#27 of 65 Old 05-07-2008, 12:01 PM
 
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My MOPS steering team threw me a surprise one last night! I was totally shocked & really blessed by their kindness. We don't need much other than some nursing bras and a carseat, but how cool of them to think of me, esp. since this is baby #3.
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#28 of 65 Old 05-07-2008, 01:10 PM
 
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I have a 2 year old so no need for a shower, but I want to throw myself a party. The idea is a casual backyard BBQ type thing. We don't have many friends, so it will probably be mainly family and neighbors. We might have a cake and balloons and I will probably fill up a pool for the little kids. I've seen pictures of a similar party where they had plain onesies for people to paint or decorate, and I thought it might be fun to do something similar. I also want people to sign in with their names and a prediction on the baby's sex for the baby book. That's about as far as I'm willing to go in the direction of cutesy baby shower games.

My husband's family is very big on etiquette, but he says they'll get over it as long as we make it clear we're not asking for gifts. This is probably my last pregnancy and I want to celebrate!
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#29 of 65 Old 05-07-2008, 05:51 PM
 
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A few friends and my sister in law are throwing us a shower/party in my mom's backyard at the end of June...it will be men and women...and I am hoping for casual evening fun (potluck, bbq, maybe even dancing) rather than tea and weird diaper games...
I was just putting the list together and dear god including children and extended family it is already 40 people! All won't come though...We are setting up a registry with regular stuff like the co-sleeper and cloth diapers for the family members who want to spend money...as well as non-material things like babysitting time, help setting up the clothesline in the backyard for those who can't spend money...

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and my angel, Nico, , lost to us at 19 weeks gestation, 12/27/12
Longing for our rainbow
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Well I was here yesterday stressing about all the people my mothers are inviting to the showers.. and then last night I was doing something on my BRU registry online and noticed somebody had bought something already!! I have no idea who, because hardly anybody has been directly informed that I even have a registry, and these shower invites have not gone out yet, but there it is, someone has bought my future daughter a car seat which happens to be one of the most expensive things we really need. I started crying a little!! It's hard to believe that people are willing to be so generous and I am just really thankful, so no more complaints from me. Probably sound ridiculous but it's my first time experiencing all of this and I'm just in awe.

mama to Allison 8-18-08 and Ethan 1-24-11  heartbeat.gif

jennykilbo is offline  
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