unsolicited advice... - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 11 Old 05-29-2008, 02:00 PM - Thread Starter
 
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there is the older woman I have run into a couple of times at the grocery store. She eyes your cart, then your children and proceeds in a very nice way to discuss what you should feed your kids or good nutrition.

Well today the baby was kicking and I was rubbing my stomach and she proceeded to tell me how to EC, start on day 1 with a paper in front of baby while he is nursing then on day 2 start saying Ahh when you are nursing, baby pees. Then he will be diaper free by 3 months, not wetting at night by 6 months.

Kids are fussing in cart.

Then about reading the bible starting day 2 for a very large vocabluary by the time he can talk.
Then about willard water and its healing properties
Then about B6 and its health properties
Then no packaged foods
on and on and on.......

She talked about raising 5 kids all genius level. She is from Europe came here after the war.

Kids are really fussy.

Finally stopped. She was really nice but she can talk forever.

I am not sure if she is nutty or lonely. I have never had so much unsolicited advice from one person at one given time.

Jenn
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#2 of 11 Old 05-29-2008, 02:14 PM
 
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While it was kind of you to stay and listen, I, on behalf of humanity (I'm so special ), give you permission to walk away the next time she comes up to you.
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#3 of 11 Old 05-29-2008, 02:36 PM
 
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I agree with sapphire - just smile and walk away! You could always preface your exit with, "I'm sorry, do I know you?" That's what I always say when people I don't know give me unsolicited advice. They get the point
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#4 of 11 Old 05-29-2008, 04:08 PM
 
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Aww Jenn, I would've listened to all of it, too DH is worse than me, he loves people and talking to them. I think it's sweet when people want to share something positive, or what worked for them. If it's something I don't agree with I say that really isn't for us, but thanks for sharing anyway. And if they're rude, then I tell them I hope their day gets better Maybe she is very lonely, or you may remind her of someone and you probably made her day just by listening

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#5 of 11 Old 05-29-2008, 04:31 PM
 
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I just tell them that I think I got the parenting thing down and will be ok. I hate unsolicited advice. I hear it enough at work and from my own friends, I don't need to hear it from strangers too.

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#6 of 11 Old 05-29-2008, 05:13 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by meredyth0315 View Post
Aww Jenn, I would've listened to all of it, too DH is worse than me, he loves people and talking to them. I think it's sweet when people want to share something positive, or what worked for them. If it's something I don't agree with I say that really isn't for us, but thanks for sharing anyway. And if they're rude, then I tell them I hope their day gets better Maybe she is very lonely, or you may remind her of someone and you probably made her day just by listening
That's exactly what I was thinking!

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#7 of 11 Old 05-29-2008, 09:05 PM
 
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That's why I gave JennP permission to just leave. Her first responsibility is to her kids and family. If the woman's lonely, let her bother someone who's stuck on a bus. When I commute to school or ride to the library, 99% of the time I'll have no problems listening to you blather away for the whole ride. Or if you don't have that much to say, start up a conversation with me in a long line. Don't pigeon hole someone while her kids fuss.

Really though by "leave" I meant "carry on with shopping as though the woman wasn't there". And then when done "well that's very interesting, but I need to go check out now and head home, have a lovely day."
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#8 of 11 Old 05-29-2008, 10:02 PM
 
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At least some of her advice was decent!

Mom of a 7 yr old, 4 yr old, and 1 yr old. Wow. How did that happen?
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#9 of 11 Old 05-30-2008, 01:24 AM
 
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#10 of 11 Old 05-30-2008, 02:25 PM
 
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Yes, people love to give the advice, huh?

I was buying wine and supplies for a fundraiser that I'm hosting this weekend, and got the complete evil eye from a woman in the liquor store. She seemed horrified that a pregnant woman would even be in the store, and kept glaring at me and looking pointedly at my belly. This was particularly annoying since I was tired, hot, and spending a bunch of money on wine that I'm not even going to drink. :

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#11 of 11 Old 06-01-2008, 10:41 AM
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my guess is that she is lonely.

and, you can politely excuse yourself.

i end up with lonely folks all the time--sometimes it's great, sometimes not. but i usually need to extract myself from the situation one way or another ultimately.

oh, and sometimes being a lonely person, i get too chatty too. so please forgive us.
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