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#1 of 40 Old 07-24-2008, 05:06 AM - Thread Starter
 
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How are ya doin'?

So my idea for a topic today is how long is your partner/support person going to stay with you? Are you hiring postpartum doula help? Do you have friends/family coming to help?



Dh is taking off Monday-Wednesday next week for bereavement. His grandfather's funeral is on Sunday and his brother that lives on the opposite coast will be visiting.
It would be excellent if I could have the baby next week as then he could tack his parental leave on. He has saved up for 2 weeks off work. I'm really excited as I thought he'd only be getting to take 1 week.

I of course can't control when it will happen nor do I have any strong ideas about it but 2.5 weeks would be great!

Mom of a 7 yr old, 4 yr old, and 1 yr old. Wow. How did that happen?
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#2 of 40 Old 07-24-2008, 06:36 AM
 
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DH plans to take a week off : He has never been able to do this before, so I am really thrilled! My MIL will come to stay with my older kids while we're still in the hospital, but she'll probably go home soon after we come home. I prefer that - I don't like having people stay with us post-partum because I feel like I have to "host" and have no interest in doing that! My best friend is also my kids' babysitter (more like second mom!), so I know she will help me with them when I need a break. I do have a housekeeper who comes once every two weeks, but I will get her to come once a week for a while after the baby gets here. We also plan to order food from a vegan meals home delivery service :
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#3 of 40 Old 07-24-2008, 08:25 AM
 
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So my idea for a topic today is how long is your partner/support person going to stay with you? Are you hiring postpartum doula help? Do you have friends/family coming to help?

My DH will take two or three days off work. My ILs, my mom, and many friends are lined up at a moment's notice to help me that first month and to help with my DS.

As a postpartum doula, I highly recommend us!
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#4 of 40 Old 07-24-2008, 08:55 AM
 
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My DH was going to take 2 weeks off, but somehow he miscalculated his available vacation time and will only be staying home about a week. His work will give him 3 days automatically off of work and he will take another 3 or 4 vacation days.

Also, just because I'm excited about it, the place we're giving birth will actually let him and my 3 year old stay in my room with me the whole time I am there. I don't have to be seperated from them!
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#5 of 40 Old 07-24-2008, 09:02 AM
 
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Depending on when I give birth, I think I'll make him take the first three days off...lol or maybe I should plan it for the august long weekend. (he's a dedicated workaholic...)

8 might be enough
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#6 of 40 Old 07-24-2008, 09:07 AM
 
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This is our fourth so I'm not overly stressing about how much DH is home with me. Especially after last time -- I had a 22-month-old and newborn twins. I needed help.

But nonetheless, we think he's going to only work 2-3 days for 3-4 weeks or so, taking a few days off (maybe five?) after New Baby makes his/her arrival.

Not planning on hiring a PP doula. I have a ton of family here who will be around to help if need be. I'm not scared to ask either LOL
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#7 of 40 Old 07-24-2008, 09:11 AM
 
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I left my husband about a month ago so he wont be helping though he will be there for the birth and I cant afford a doula now that I am on my own. I dont have any family to help either at all.........I do have a good friend who offered to take dd1 and dd2 off my hands from time to time to give me a break. I am going for a vbac hopefully so I really, really hope I dont end up with a c/s.......I dont know what I will do if that happens...I was in so much pain and unable to move for quite awhile after dd1's birth I am really really worried about it.
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#8 of 40 Old 07-24-2008, 09:12 AM
 
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First off, Megan, you're up late --- or early?

DH is taking a week off completely, then will be home lots for the next couple weeks. He is a tattooer and the shop where he works is a 3-minute walk from our house. Soooo, I can basically call him whenever I need some back-up. If I have to have a c-section, I am sure he will take that 2nd week completely off. But, even though his "boss" really has no say so in when he comes and goes, we have no income (no vacay or personal time at all) if he is not tattooing.


My parents will be in town (staying with the in-laws, thank goodness) for a week or two.
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#9 of 40 Old 07-24-2008, 09:19 AM
 
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Oh so I forgot to update what happened with me yesterday. In the daily thread yesterday I was talking about how my pressure and some other things sort of disappated.

Well yesterday afternoon, I was breastfeeding my son and contractions started to come every 5 minutes, they weren't OMG painful but were pretty intense and this went on for almost an hour. I was trying to get him to take a nap but I had to stop the bf so I could see if they continued. They continued for another 4 or 5 contractions and I got nervous, called my dh and he urged me to call the midwife/ob (we live 30 minutes away and I've had a really fast labor before).

THey asked me to come in there first and see if it was real labor, well...apparently not. They put me on the monitor and they were showing contractions but they had reduced in intensity and timing (OF COURSE!).

THe OB checked me and I am STILL 80% effaced, 2 cm dilated, baby at 0 station! He said that my cervix is still posterior and "doesn't look like a laboring cervix"

From my moving around and walking the contractions were coming about every 3 1/2 minutes and were pretty intense but apparently not working well enough and of course last night they slowed way down.

My poor DH, he was so excited and happy when he met me at the OB's office, thinking it was time. I hated to disappoint him like that lol but to be fair I did warn him that I wasn't sure if it was "real".

This is my FIFTH child, you would think I would know! I am so disappointed that I apparently CANNOT read my body and just have no idea what is going on.

Now I am worried that I will doubt myself so much that I will wait too long when I actually do go into labor and won't give myself enough time to get to the hospital. (This is what my DH is afraid of too, he knows I want to go at the last possible minute)

So...no REAL changes to cervix and stronger contractions that aren't really doing anything..YAY!

Oh but at least baby IS still head down and didn't pop back out or flip like I was afraid of
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#10 of 40 Old 07-24-2008, 10:10 AM
 
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DH has been a SAHD for the past almost 6 years, and with me not likely having a job to come back to, looks liike he'll be off to work and I'll finally be able to be home with my babies It's ironic that when I do have a chance to be at home with them Jacob is supposed to start kindergarten & Liam is to start PreK, but we haven't fully decided public school is for us & them. I've been doing lots of homeschool research, but honestly am a little overwhelmed by it since I've never "taught" anyone anything before We have a very small savings & his mom moved in with us, so I'm thinking we have a few weeks before it's imperative he works.

miztrezzlyn Sending you more labor vibes!!!

veronicalynne Big hugs to you mama I hope everything works out the best for you.

Meredyth partners.gif Travis, Mama to my boys J, L, E & my girl B
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#11 of 40 Old 07-24-2008, 10:13 AM
 
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My IL's live in town, so they'll be around anytime and whenever needed. My mom is coming to stay (with them, not us thank goodness) for a week after the birth, so she and/or my MIL will probably be hanging out here all day for at least that first week. DH and I own a restaurant that is about a mile from where we live, so he will probably only take 2 full days off right away, but then be able to have a flexible schedule as needed for a few weeks after (like just go in for lunch hours and then come home.) YAY for that... another yay is that my sister is moving about 15 minutes away from us at the end of August, so she will be around alot as well. I feel pretty good about having enough help!! and I AM SOOOOO EXCITED!!!! :

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#12 of 40 Old 07-24-2008, 10:21 AM
 
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how long is your partner/support person going to stay with you? Are you hiring postpartum doula help? Do you have friends/family coming to help?

I feel pretty lucky. DH gets 5 days off work, and will be finishing work at the end of the month to go back to school.He will likely take another week off then. My MIL (the best MIL in the world, such an awesome woman!) is coming to stay with us for all of August to help out with our older DD and around the house. She is very non-interfer-y
My mom just surprised me with the best b-day present ever-a cleaning lady til Christmas (starting in September!) Whee!

O/T
On another note, I've seen a lot of posts about dilation, etc. and some of you feeling disheartened-don't be (especially if it's your first)! At 40 weeks, there was nothing. I had 2+ days of contractions (irregular, but needing to breathe umm...thoughfully through them), and was SO SO SO disheartened when my MW came and checked me...and I was only 1 cm (but cervix very much thinned out). She seemed to think I would have a baby in about 24 hours...HOWEVER...I managed to pass out for an hour or so, woke up in active labour, was at the hospital an hour later at 5cm, and pushing another hour after that....so even if things move slowly now (or not at all!), they can go really quickly when it counts. I keep trying to remember that the baby will come out at some point, when he/she is ready, but it's hard not to be impatient!

fridgeart, lucky mum to E (5) and Ro (2)
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#13 of 40 Old 07-24-2008, 10:33 AM
 
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Yah, things going fast all of a sudden is what I am worried about

I live 30 min from the hospital, and while I do have someone here to drive me to the hospital if my husband is not home, I'm still very worried I will wait to make SURE its real, since I've had a few "false" alarms, and then I will have the baby in the car!

Anyway, I feel pretty good today, which is disappointing I was expecting to be in labor after the last 3 days and...nothing! My DH thinks I'm nuts for being disappointed about feeling good

Well, I'm off to the grocery store and see if maybe I feel up to doing some cleaning or something around here.
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#14 of 40 Old 07-24-2008, 11:04 AM
 
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My DH will probably only take off enough time to be with me during labor and maybe the next day depending on what time the baby is born.

I have some help coming, but I need to keep this baby baking until the 29th. My mom went out of state to visit her parents and won't be back until then. I am sending some notes to a few friends to have some back up in case this baby is early. I think it is going to be an August baby, but then the concern since we are not ready is that it will arrive early.
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#15 of 40 Old 07-24-2008, 11:21 AM
 
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First, to all you mamas, esp. those with impending labor signs!:

To answer the thread's q: I am v. fortunate. Dp and I both teach, and are working (research) from home these days, so he'll be around (though working at home as well) for months.

Don't have family or close friends in the area, so his help and support is crucial. But we do have a babysitter for dd that will be a great help, too.

Have a great day, mamas! Off to try to do some work, and some cleaning.
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#16 of 40 Old 07-24-2008, 11:32 AM
 
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DH will be taking about a week off of work...then my sister comes....then my mom comes...

...then DH takes paternity when I start my chemotherapy.

It'll be a good opportunity for us to reconnect after all of the stress we have been going through lately.

cheers,
charlene
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#17 of 40 Old 07-24-2008, 12:29 PM
 
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Dh is going to take 2 weeks, but he works from home in the mornings anyway so hopefully that trend will continue after his time off. He has been taking ds into the office here and there too, so maybe they will do that a little bit also. My parents are out of state and in no condition to help so they are out, but my in laws will come out when we need them. They are so awesome, I am looking forward to seeing them. We also have an awesome playmate(sitter) for ds, but she is out of town at the moment...she asked if she could be at the birth!! She is so in tune with us and respectful, so I said I would call her if there is time. So I know she will be helpful. We also plan on ordering some food for a few weeks. Unfortunately our cleaning lady has been stepping over some boundaries lately so we're letting her go...I've talked with her a few times about not bringing up ds's weaning in front of him but she does it anyway (why is she even asking), she tries to discipline ds if I'm in the bedroom, tries to pick him up when he says no, etc. She has a hard time listening to him and I've talked with her about it but it isn't getting better. Just cannot have her here while I'm not all about getting out of the house the moment she arrives. Anywho...

Mary, Mama to 3 boys! 9/05 & 8/08 & 7/12
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#18 of 40 Old 07-24-2008, 01:25 PM
 
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My husband will come for the birth from work (if there is a need) and will stay with me for 2 days (all day) at least. He does help A LOT on a regular basis so I know with the new babe he'll be as helpful as I want him to be My mom is also here and will stay with me until the end of the November! Grandmas can be VERY helpful sometimes!!!!!

Latina Mama of 3 and Wife of a great man since 1997
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#19 of 40 Old 07-24-2008, 01:29 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ~Megan~ View Post
How are ya doin'?

So my idea for a topic today is how long is your partner/support person going to stay with you? Are you hiring postpartum doula help? Do you have friends/family coming to help?


I have a doula and she'll drop by twice after the birth to check on me and how breastfeeding is going. Also DS HAS to take two weeks off before september so he'll be off August 11th until the 25th, how convenient. Let's just hope baby will be there by then.

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#20 of 40 Old 07-24-2008, 01:49 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by veronicalynne View Post
I cant afford a doula now
Have you checked with student doulas? They have to have a certain number of practices and will sometimes do it super cheap or for free.

Quote:
Originally Posted by bettie cracker View Post
First off, Megan, you're up late --- or early?
I was up late talking to Mamatolea because she was having serious labor signs.

Mom of a 7 yr old, 4 yr old, and 1 yr old. Wow. How did that happen?
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#21 of 40 Old 07-24-2008, 02:02 PM
 
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Originally Posted by ~Megan~ View Post
So my idea for a topic today is how long is your partner/support person going to stay with you? Are you hiring postpartum doula help? Do you have friends/family coming to help?
My dh works from home so I'm sure he'll take off extra time as needed. But, really it depends on what jobs he has at the time. We have a little savings so that he won't have to work for at least a couple of weeks if we have complications.

Quote:
Originally Posted by miztrezzlyn View Post
This is my FIFTH child, you would think I would know! I am so disappointed that I apparently CANNOT read my body and just have no idea what is going on.
I'm having my third and feel the same way sometimes. I was talking to my niece about it the other day, who has 5 children, and she said "I'm not in labor until my water breaks." I responded, "yeah, but that happens when I'm in the middle of labor." She said, "yes, you're right!"
I've had soooo many days where I'm having regular contractions or really strong contractions that stop me in my tracks that I've decided to follow her rule. At least then I'm not thinking of being in labor all the time.
Sooo....I'm still not in labor.

Wife to James mom to dd(1999) ds1(2001)and ds2(7/08)
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#22 of 40 Old 07-24-2008, 02:11 PM
 
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My husband will be taking 3 weeks off, and I have a couple of SAHM friends who will probably come over a little too. I also have IL's in town who could help if I need it.
It's good that I have a lot of support because I'm starting to freak out about HOW I'm going to keep my sanity with my very curious ..... and I'm just going to say it ..... naughty 2 year old.
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#23 of 40 Old 07-24-2008, 02:13 PM
 
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Have you checked with student doulas? They have to have a certain number of practices and will sometimes do it super cheap or for free.
Yes, I did check and there is nothing.....I did have something arranged with a new doula but somehow there was a misunderstanding and she thought I was due the end of September not the end of August so she isnt available and she also could not find anyone else. I am going to have to have a friend go with me.....I am not sure how she will be.....she has had a c/s and regrets it so I dont know if she will be ok with me trying another vbac or not....
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#24 of 40 Old 07-24-2008, 02:25 PM
 
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DH wants to take 10 days off after the birth, so I guess that would be 2 weeks. I only wanted him to take 1 week.

Because, you know, after the first week I am probably really going to want him to get out of the house for a while.

Nik! Mama to Evelynn Rose 08/19/08 and Autumn Lily 11/02/10
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#25 of 40 Old 07-24-2008, 03:00 PM
 
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Originally Posted by holothuroidea View Post
DH wants to take 10 days off after the birth, so I guess that would be 2 weeks. I only wanted him to take 1 week.

Because, you know, after the first week I am probably really going to want him to get out of the house for a while.

That is what I thought but in the end I needed all the support I was offered.

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#26 of 40 Old 07-24-2008, 03:15 PM
 
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DP is planning at least 4-7 days off in the beginning and then a week once I return to work so that we can delay daycare. My parents and aunt live right around the corner so I'm sure my mom will take about two or 3 days off and my aunt may do a week herself. I'm going to check to see if one of them will take a whole week off once I return to work so that we can really delay daycare.

Another topic: I found a daycare that I liked yesterday before the doctor's appointment. Got a really great vibe from the place and the staff. I love that there are two older women who handle the infants and newborns. I've asked my mom to visit and will take DP by there one day so we can both tour the whole facility. It's near my apartment very reasonable in price.

I texted DP last night because I really bummed about my appointment and didn't want to be alone. He showed up an hour later and we kicked back and watched tv all night. He rubbed my belly and my back all through the night to get me to relax so that I could sleep. It actually worked and I slept through the night, only waking to go to the bathroom twice. He also surprised me by wanting to dtd before we even got out of bed this morning. And it was wonderful.....

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#27 of 40 Old 07-24-2008, 03:52 PM - Thread Starter
 
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AKA- you are late coming to this thread! I was starting to wonder...

Mom of a 7 yr old, 4 yr old, and 1 yr old. Wow. How did that happen?
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#28 of 40 Old 07-24-2008, 04:56 PM
 
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My dh will take two weeks. His work gives him one week paternity and then he will take a week vacation. I would also like to see him work from home one day a week for a few weeks but we'll see. His job can be very collaborative so sometimes having him home is hard on his team.
He only took a week with ds1 so this is going to be nice. I think it will be important for Ryan to have daddy here to give him some undivided attention.
My mom lives about 20 minutes away and will be here for the birth and most likely come and go as I need her too. She won't spend the night. My mil is about an hour away and works so it will depend on her schedule but I don't expect her to stay either.

April thankful mommy to my boys Big Red 3/06 Little Z 9/08 and happily awaiting the arrival of 10/10 :
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#29 of 40 Old 07-24-2008, 06:39 PM
 
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Ugh. Air conditioning is my friend. I'm so hot and tired and...ugh. The only place with good air conditioning is my car - well, I'm sure the a/c at work is good, but because we're a "green" company we don't turn it on - and if it's turned on, it's not on full blast like I need. Wah.

And is anyone else's sleep schedule completely jacked? If I don't take a nap on my lunch break, I'm screwed for the afternoon. Today I went to lunch with my h and the kids and I missed my noon nap and I don't know if I'll be able to make it through my meeting this afternoon.

Man - I'm not quite 37 weeks - I don't know what I'll do if I go to 42+!! Of course, my doc is going on vacation for the next 10 days, so I have Murphy's Law working in my favor on that one!

Oh, and my h will probably take a couple of days off, plus my mom will come up for a few days, I think. I actually doubt I'll need a lot of extra help, I don't remember needing alot after either of the other kiddos were born.

In the end, only three things matter: how much you loved, how gently you lived, and how gracefully you let go of things not meant for you." Buddha

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#30 of 40 Old 07-24-2008, 06:59 PM
 
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My dh hasn't specifically said how much time he will take off of work. Probably a couple days, but then he will probably go in late or leave early for awhile. My mom had said she wanted to spend the first week at home with me, but then my dad fell off the roof this summer and she had to take a week off to care for him. So now, I don't know.

My main concern is that my due date is the same week my boys start school (youngest is in preschool 3 hrs a day & older is starting k-garten (all day!!) I'm worried about making all those changes with a newborn. Dh is going to have to do the taxi driving for awhile until I get a groove going.

I'm Deborah, mama to Aidan, 11/02, Sean, 9/04 (my T21 SuperBoy), and Eleanor, 8/08.
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