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I'm not ok. I'm not doing alright, and I'm not coping.
I hate that I feel this way, but I feel so uncared for since the minute ds came out of me. No one cared about my needs, and I was guilted into getting out of bed too early, chasing my toddler around and have been made to feel crazy and hormonal. (Not that I'm not probably hormonal, but geez...)
I am not super woman, and I hate it. My house is a disaster, my 18 mo has his first cold and is miserable, and I'm worried about my newborns head. (Different thread all together.)
My dh leaves every morning at 6:00am and doesn't get home from work till 9:30pm. That is seeming like a VERY long day. I feel isolated and alone and... I don't know. I feel so sore I can barely move, which doesn't make sense, I didn't tear or anything? I am barely keeping it together, and I just needed to puke it all out here. If you read through this, thanks.
Book lover - Sewer - Movie lover - Mommy to a wonderful little boy (8/4/08) - Aspiring writer - On a mission to lose 15 pounds - all-around cool chick
Thank you so much. It means so much not to be judged for having trouble coping.
My mother is the one that dragged me out of bed the day after ds was born and told me this was life. She was suppose to be here to help, but help turned into emotional abuse. (I should have known. sigh)
I talked to dh and he took two days off!!! : This morning he took ds #1 out all morning, and I got to sleep and cuddle and finally look my newborn in the eyes and just talk to him. It was so healing.
As for his head, it feels like he is missing some skull(not his soft spot, different area, about the size of a silver dollar), I'm on my way to the chiro, and tommorow have a mw appt, but I'm afraid I've lost a lot of trust in my mws. Part of my trouble is I felt very uncared for during the birth, and it hasn't stopped. My mw was very rough with me.
I went for a walk yesterday after I posted and the fresh air was very good for all of us.
I'm going to take everyones advice and stop stressing about the house, and just chill.
Thanks again, I'll keep everyone posted.
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