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#1 of 22 Old 03-06-2008, 12:04 AM - Thread Starter
 
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you nursing your toddler? My OB totally gave me grief yesterday when she found out I am nursing my 21 month old son yet!! She said I better have him weaned by midpregnancy because it will be better for me nutritionally and if he will totally regress if he is still nursing when the baby is born. I just smiled and nodded. I knew I could have stuck up for myself at that point, but did not want to get into it with her. My son is healthy and happy. I think forcing weaning on him would cause more emotional harm than the regressing she thinks he will go through if he is still nursing when the baby is born. I guess this is kinda a vent about my OB. Luckily I see an awesome NP that runs a breastfeeding support group and nursed all her kids until they were 2+. Interested in any discussions you have had with your OB/MW and any supportive advice you can give me!

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#2 of 22 Old 03-06-2008, 12:32 AM
 
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I'd just continue to smile and nod. Actually, if it were me, I wouldn't go back! But that's me. Just because it's difficult doesn't mean the effort is not worth it. Most toddlers go through some sort of regression when they get a first sibling. In fact, retaining your breastfeeding relationship may ease the transition, depending on your particular child. I've had a few people tell me "you're going to have to wean her before the colustrum comes in" or "before the baby comes." I choose not to respond. I don't feel like trying to educate people who are so set in their convictions when it has nothing to do with them, anyway.

Nursing my toddler right now (really, right now!) is really painful and at times nauseating and tries my patience... but once the pain subsides I really enjoy our special time together... after all, before I know it my attention will be divided and I won't be able to focus just on her like I do now. I'm not willing to give that up any more than she is.

Nursing will not rob your unborn baby of nutrients. As long as you eat whenever you are hungry, it will not rob you of nutrients either. It's a common misconception. I know there are some excellent articles on Kellymom with supporting arguments for nursing through pregnancy and tandem nursing.

I chose a UP (unassisted pregnancy) so I don't have any OB/MW experience to share.

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#3 of 22 Old 03-06-2008, 09:37 AM
 
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This is the second pregnancy where I am nursing and find you just need more calories. Untill 28 weeks your uterus does not have oxytocin receptors. Really unless you are high risk or want to not nurse I wouldn't give it much thought. Maybe there is another ob in the practice with other views?
The kellymom site has tons of great info.

Good luck!
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#4 of 22 Old 03-06-2008, 10:18 AM
 
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Thankfully I have well informed, educated health providers that only praise me for extended breastfeeding. I've never heard a negative word from any of them about it.

Smiling and nodding is fine... but I am a big mouth and would totally not allow my OB to spew ignorance because I'd be scared some other patient might listen to that drivel and think it's right. I'd bring literature, etc, to my next visit and seek to educate my OB if he was not informed as it seems yours is not on this subject.
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#5 of 22 Old 03-06-2008, 11:08 AM
 
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With my second pg, I was still nursing DD1, and the CNM had no problem with it, asked at the beginning if she was still nursing, and that was that. I really think the fact that she was still nursing when DD2 was born helped her transition to the role of a sibling. Very little jealousy issues. Now I am seeing a homebirth MW, and she couldn't care less that I'm nursing both girls while pg.

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#6 of 22 Old 03-06-2008, 11:43 AM
 
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When I got pregnant last fall, I called my OB and he said he thought I needed to wean, but that he could not ever remember having a patient get pregnant while breastfeeding (yes, the breastfeeding rate around here is that abysmal) so he told me he would call the hospital's LC and ask and call me back. He called me back and said it was just fine. He said the only thing we'd have to watch out for was PTL. I had PTL with my DD's pregnancy and he said that if I had similar problems again it was possible that I would have to wean. If that scenario arises, we will hook me up to the monitors and see if her nursing makes the contractions worse. I am hoping I will just be spared all that drama this time around.
There are actually 4 OBs in the practice that I see, and I've seen two more since. One said "Oh! That's not supposed to happen!" - as in, she thought I couldn't get pregnant while breastfeeding. And the other said "Good for you!" So so far it hasn't been too bad.

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#7 of 22 Old 03-06-2008, 11:58 AM
 
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Thats a ridiculous statement for her to make and i would really need to correct here. Nursingtwo.com is another informative website. I do not understand how some CP's get away with this, but I suspect its because the women who know better don't say anything. I agree that you should print out some information for her. If she resists your suggestions, then I would consider changing providers. If she isn't open to hearing how nursing your toddler is beneficial to you and him, and for his potential relationship with his future sibling, how receptive will she be to other issues, such as refusal to be induced...or resistance to other interventions?? Just something very serious to ponder while you are still early in your pregnancy.
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#8 of 22 Old 03-06-2008, 12:51 PM
 
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My doctor, while not overly enthusiastic in her support, always said "That's really good," when I said I was nursing my toddler (she has since weaned).

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#9 of 22 Old 03-06-2008, 01:23 PM
 
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I nursed dd1 through my second pregnancy and my OB didn't bat an eye. The nurses at the hospital wanted to know if I had colostrum or just regular milk after I delivered dd2 and so I said, "Wanna see?" :grin and hand expressed some. It was colostrum of course and she thanked me with a smile and I felt like I had educated a whole group of nurses!

This time around the only thing my OB said was, "Are you still nursing them both?" I assured her that the 4 year old had finally weaned (although very close to the time that had found out I was pregnant.) I know that I couldn't have tandemed and been pregnant- the nipple pain is too much (although it hasn't completely kicked in yet- knock on wood).

I agree with the pp about gently offering information to your OB so that they don't give false information to someone who doesn't know better. I can't tell you the number of people who just automatically assume that a woman HAS to wean when she's pregnant.

Honestly, with my dd1, if I had tried to wean her, someone would have probably killed someone Also, as far as the sibling rivalry, I think it helped with my girls. If dd1 had felt like the thing she wanted most in this world was being given to the new baby and she couldn't have it anymore, THAT would have been bad.
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#10 of 22 Old 03-06-2008, 06:00 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks everyone for your support! I think I will come to my next appt. armed with some good info on bfing in pregnancy. Other than this issue I am happy with my OB. She is an extremely smart woman and I completely trust her with my body and my baby. She did a wonderful job with my last pregnancy. She handled my m/c very well and pretty much let me call the shots with how I wanted things to happen (didn't push me to have a d & c, didn't order a gamet of tests). But I have never seen eye to eye with her on bfing. She oversees my NP independent practice and calls her the "nursing nazi". Although I think it is a term of endearment, I also realize my OB is not a huge breastfeeding supporter. Oh well, I guess everyone can't be perfect! LOL Well maybe I will make it my mission to educate her on breastfeeding this pregnancy. If I have learned one thing since my ds was born, it is that everyone has a definite opinion about bfing. But maybe I can change my OB's opinion. I guess I can only try! And I guess in the mean time I will just continue to do what feels right for my son and me!

So in : with E and G...give the ultimate gift:
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#11 of 22 Old 03-06-2008, 10:22 PM
 
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I agree with the pp about gently offering information to your OB so that they don't give false information to someone who doesn't know better.
Well in every side there is often some truth, it is true that there are decifits (like bone density) incurred by nursing and pregnant mothers but studies show they are usually made up after. For a women if you have an nutritionally optimal diet should not be affected....but if you were one of the small unlucky ones to experience pregnancy/nursing osteoperosis then it might need to be re-evaluated..

Quote:
Women who nurse their infants for six months or more lose a significant amount of the mineral calcium from their bones, according to a new report. Although most women make up for that loss shortly thereafter
http://findarticles.com/p/articles/m...43/ai_14036234

so her point is not without initial validity in the short term but its actually long term insignificant. I didn't see any studies on nursing two and if that affected more than 5% bone loss in 6 months but I am sure most GP's probably think if breastfeeding one child results in a 5% bone loss, breastfeeding two must result in a 10%...

8 might be enough
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#12 of 22 Old 03-06-2008, 10:52 PM
 
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Just to point out, the term "Nazi" is NEVER a form of endearment. Its actually a very offensive term to use for anyone other than Nazis.

it doesnt seem like this OB was considering any issues such as the previous posted mentioned..she just doesn't seem educated about bf'ing. Good for you, OP, for wanting to set the record straight.
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#13 of 22 Old 03-06-2008, 11:38 PM
 
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wow- I'm so sorry to hear your provider wasn't more supportive.
I'm not nursing now, but I was still nursing DS (he was over 2) when I had my m/c last year. Everyone was actually really supportive- midwife told me to keep it up, but to make sure I ate enough for all 3 of us. Also gave me some suggestions for sore breasts. The OB that ultimately did my D&E was positive about it- no real comments, just "good for you" and moved on. The best support was from the office nurse- when we knew I was having a m/c she went out of way to come tell me that scores of women nursed through pregnancy since the beginning of time and no matter what anyone says, nursing had nothing to do with the m/c, etc. She said she's heard people, even doctors say that and it isn't true. And the anesthsiologist had a number of questions for me- wanted to know about nursing, etc- turns out she was TTC.
I definitely feel lucky to have had such good support. I definitely agree with the others- bring some info to her next time- she shouldn't be telling other women that either. (makes me glad we have MDC to find out these things, too!!)

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#14 of 22 Old 03-07-2008, 12:35 AM
 
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Well my HB MWs didn't batt an eye when I told them but I went to an OB to try to get a referral for my homebirth. He was totally supportive of homebirth and even UC so I was thinkin...this guy is awesome and then when I tell him that I'm still BFing he says that it is unsafe and to stop. Guess it would have been too good to be true if he got it right on ever level, lol.
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#15 of 22 Old 03-07-2008, 12:50 AM
 
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I nursed through my first pregnancy with my oldest and then tandem nursed for about 18 months. I am a LLL Leader and my midwife actually gave me a little grief about it. I have switched midwives this pregnancy and my current midwife is fine with my nursing ds2 through this pregnancy. (She nursed through pregnancy and tandem nursed herself). "Adventures in Tandem Nursing" is an awesome book. I would highly recccomend it (has lots of info about nursing during pregnancy) and perhaps you could show it to your OB.

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#16 of 22 Old 03-07-2008, 09:20 AM
 
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Originally Posted by PassionateWriter View Post
Just to point out, the term "Nazi" is NEVER a form of endearment. Its actually a very offensive term to use for anyone other than Nazis.

it doesnt seem like this OB was considering any issues such as the previous posted mentioned..she just doesn't seem educated about bf'ing. Good for you, OP, for wanting to set the record straight.
Ditto everything she said... and emphasis on the word Nazi never ever ever being a term of endearment. It's highly offensive.
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#17 of 22 Old 03-07-2008, 01:57 PM - Thread Starter
 
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wow, i'm sorry if I have offended anyone, that truly and sincerely was not my intention! Didn't even think about it as I typed it as I don't have a single racist cell in my body. I am humbled and embarrassed. She is basically calling her a nursing dictator. Just wanted to clear that up so no one gets the wrong idea.

So in : with E and G...give the ultimate gift:
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#18 of 22 Old 03-07-2008, 02:56 PM
 
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I don't think my MWs care either way. Whatever works for us is fine with them. They tried to come up with some suggestions for nipple soreness for me but since it's hormonal there's not much you can do.
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#19 of 22 Old 03-07-2008, 03:13 PM
 
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Dd was born in Jan. The first MW I saw was very "medical". She said that she would rather all my caloried go to the baby and non to my nursing toddler (she was 3y and nursing maybe 2x a day). I left that practice for other reasons, and the MWs that I delivered with never batted an eyelash about my nursing. One commented that women have 2 breasts so they can tandem after birth. They didn't even get into it with me when I wasn't gaining weight and baby was dx with IUGR....they just focused on upping my protein and everything turned out fine.

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#20 of 22 Old 03-08-2008, 06:33 PM
 
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There are definitely two sides to every story, I just read a thread on here not too long ago about a mother having major difficulties with the very thing your OB mentioned, about your son possibly regressing once the baby is born. Anyway, I just wanted to point that out, it is obviously something that works for some and not for others and I guess it all depends on the child/children involved. This particular lady was having one heck of a time nursing her toddler son and her infant, it got to where the toddler son was drinking all the milk and leaving none for the infant and mom was not able to keep up enough of a supply for both. And the toddler son did NOT want to be weaned, he wanted breast milk all the more after the baby was born. The poor lady really had A LOT to deal with, with the milk supply problem and the toddler throwing tantrums cause he demanded breast milk plus she was fighting the flu. I may have to go see if I can find that thread again just to see out of curiosity if she was ever able to resolve the issue. I sure wouldn't want to be in her shoes, what a horrible ordeal!
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#21 of 22 Old 03-09-2008, 08:35 AM
 
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Originally Posted by KryptoAlley View Post
There are definitely two sides to every story, I just read a thread on here not too long ago about a mother having major difficulties with the very thing your OB mentioned, about your son possibly regressing once the baby is born. Anyway, I just wanted to point that out, it is obviously something that works for some and not for others and I guess it all depends on the child/children involved. This particular lady was having one heck of a time nursing her toddler son and her infant, it got to where the toddler son was drinking all the milk and leaving none for the infant and mom was not able to keep up enough of a supply for both. And the toddler son did NOT want to be weaned, he wanted breast milk all the more after the baby was born. The poor lady really had A LOT to deal with, with the milk supply problem and the toddler throwing tantrums cause he demanded breast milk plus she was fighting the flu. I may have to go see if I can find that thread again just to see out of curiosity if she was ever able to resolve the issue. I sure wouldn't want to be in her shoes, what a horrible ordeal!
Adding another sibling is always tough, and there will be issues to deal with; they could focus around any behavior. If it wasn't bf, it would probably be something else. It sounds more like she had a problem setting boundaries and limits with her toddler, which was more of the problem than the tandem nursing. I nursed ds1 through my pg and after the birth of ds2, and I can not IMAGINE a scenario where the toddler would be drinking all the milk. The baby's nursing needs always came first. I did not nightwean ds1, although he usually slept through on his own. After the baby was born, he woke up more at night, and wanted to nurse. He had to wait if the baby was nursing. If he was upset about it, daddy took him back to his own room and stayed with him. We had rough patches, but overall tandem nursing was positive for both my kids. (However, due to this experience, I'm working on nightweaning ds2 this time around so this same issue doesn't come up!)

It is often true that a toddler may suddenly wish to nurse more once the baby arrives. So, that is something to be prepared for. But, then toddlers often stop using the potty or doing other "big kid" things, too. There's no magic mirror that will show you how your toddler will respond to a new baby. For some, tandem nursing may ease the transition. For others, it may make it more difficult. Tandem nursing may not be for everyone, and your opinion may change one way or another as it gets closer for baby to arrive, or after the baby is born. Adventures in Tandem Nursing really describes all the different scenarios and situations involved: the good, the bad, and the ugly. It's okay to change your mind at any point and wean the older one. I always left that option open, and just took it one day at a time. (And now I'm nursing 2 through a third pregnancy! )

But, for a healthcare practitioner to make blanket statements that nursing at some point is not beneficial or even harmful or to tell ANY mother at ANY time that she SHOULD wean or X,Y, and Z will happen is just ignorant and wrong.

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#22 of 22 Old 03-09-2008, 10:45 AM
 
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wow, i'm sorry if I have offended anyone, that truly and sincerely was not my intention! Didn't even think about it as I typed it as I don't have a single racist cell in my body. I am humbled and embarrassed. She is basically calling her a nursing dictator. Just wanted to clear that up so no one gets the wrong idea.
i know that (at least i always assume good intent. ). I just wanted to clear it up. if someone used that term around me, I would have to say the same thing...so I usually do mention it on msg. boards.
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