Posted on Homebirth board also: Calling all first time moms who want a homebirth..... - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
Reply
 
Thread Tools
#1 of 31 Old 07-08-2008, 01:11 PM - Thread Starter
 
gagirl2008's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 202
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Hi,

This is my first child and my husband and I are researching homebirths right now. We just had an interview last night with a midwife. I'm already 29 weeks so she wants me to make a decision within a week or less so now I'm getting a little anxious about it. I know I'd love to have one but I think I have a lot of fears that I'm dealing with. I'd like to hear some of your thoughts about homebirth,,,,,why you want one,,,,if you have any fears and how you're dealing with them, etc.

Thank you!!

April
gagirl2008 is offline  
#2 of 31 Old 07-08-2008, 04:07 PM
 
dmarina's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: seattle
Posts: 103
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
hi,
i'm about a week ahead of you (due sept 13th), planning a homebirth with my first. my biggest fear is being transferred to the hospital. also, i worry about being separated from my baby if i hemorrage or something after the birth. i was a victim of sexual abuse when i was younger & my therapist and i talked about all my labor & birth options & i decided a homebirth would be the best choice...given "potential triggers" about male doctors and just the general helplessness factor of being in a hospital.
i'm really not worried about the pain. i know it's going to hurt, but it's a "useful" pain that is a means to my beautiful baby. i'm really excited for a homebirth. i firmly believe that going to the hospital is what sick/dying/injured people do, and my baby & i do not fall into those categories!
have you seen The Business of Being Born or read Ina Mae's Guide to Childbirth? both are excellent resources about homebirth.
good luck!
dawn
dmarina is offline  
#3 of 31 Old 07-08-2008, 04:14 PM - Thread Starter
 
gagirl2008's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 202
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I agree with you about the pain though I still worry a little about it!

I have seen The Business of Being Born and wished so bad that I could have a birthing center birth or homebirth after watching it. I also ordered Ina Mae's book last week and I'm waiting to get it in the mail! I can't wait to get it.
gagirl2008 is offline  
#4 of 31 Old 07-08-2008, 04:15 PM - Thread Starter
 
gagirl2008's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 202
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Good luck to you also!! Thanks for your reply!
gagirl2008 is offline  
#5 of 31 Old 07-08-2008, 05:15 PM
 
aurora_skys's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 517
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Read Ina May Gaskins books.. like, immediately. They are very good about reminding women that birth is a natural process, not one to be afraid of.

Also this http://www.homebirth.org.uk/firstbaby.htm website was very helpful to me as far as assuaging my (unfounded) fears.

My biggest concern with birth is *me*. As in, I dont want strangers interrupting me and making me uncomfortable, I dont want strangers telling me I cant eat, drink, walk, bathe etc, and I dont want strangers touching my baby or taking him away from me. Homebirth is the best way to ensure this.

by the way, i just noticed your sig, do you live in georgia, usa? me too :>
aurora_skys is offline  
#6 of 31 Old 07-08-2008, 08:36 PM
 
funfunkyfantastic's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Lynnwood, WA
Posts: 1,685
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Hey, I'm more scared of a hospital birth than a home birth! Hospitals have always made me nervous... ever since I was a kid. And, i've ALWAYS been afraid of needles. I used to get so tense at my check ups as a kid because I knew they were going to stick me with a needle. And then of course they had to stick me in the muscle... so that just made the pain all that worse. As I grew older I was able to remind myself to keep my muscles relaxed before the appointment so it wouldn't hurt as much. lol. Anyhow, at first I chose a hospital birth because I thought that that was the only option with my insurance. I had looked a little bit into a home or birthing center birth and hadn't seen any options so I just gave up and signed up with an OB. Later on while reading other people's stories on this site I realized that I might be able to have a home birth after all. So I did a lot more research on my insurance and found two midwives in my area that worked with my insurance. After a little slightly complicated switcheroo with my insurance (had to drop an HMO and switch to my main insurance) I was able to get one of the midwives. So now i'm seeing her instead. My home birth is going to be in a birthing tub that I will rent. The company i'm renting from sets up and takes down the birthing tub for no extra charge, and they're a 24 hour call service. The charge is $249, which might seem high for a rental, but it's probably because they do factor in the set up and take down that most services do not provide. I'm so looking forward to being able to relax in my own home with my own stuff and just lay around and do whatever I feel like doing. I could watch a movie to distract me... I could chatter with my family and friends (i'm inviting a bunch of people over to hang out with me while I labor), I could lay down... I could walk around... whatever. I could even surf the web! lol. I'll probably be here on MDC updating you all when i'm in labor. hehe. At least until it becomes too painful... then i'll have a friend do it.

I'm actually not nervous about the birth at all. I think I was more nervous about giving birth in a hospital, but now that I know I won't have to go anywhere near a hospital... I feel so much more relaxed! No one is going to poke me with needles! That alone makes me happy. lol.

Oh, and if you'd like to gain a nice healthy fear of birthing in a hospital, watch "the business of being born" you'll never consider a hospital birth ever again. lol. Too dang scary! *shudders*

Rachel lady.gif, in love with my baby girl Abigailenergy.gifborn 9/17/08!
funfunkyfantastic is offline  
#7 of 31 Old 07-09-2008, 03:49 AM
 
Alcyone's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Posts: 1,115
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
My only concern is that my mother isn't very supportive about it and I don't want her screwing things up for me. Just remember your body was made to do this.
Alcyone is offline  
#8 of 31 Old 07-09-2008, 07:53 PM
 
VeganCupcake's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Posts: 1,947
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Yep, I'm a first-timer planning a homebirth. I have done/am doing everything I can to ensure a great birth experience, and then I will have to leave it up to the fates to see what happens!

I want a homebirth because I know it's the best situation for the birth that I want. This birth will be an experience I will remember for the rest of my life, and I deserve to have a positive experience with my DH and our chosen caregivers supporting me.

I worry a bit about having to transfer to the hospital and then being treated kind of crummy by personnel who are not so fond of homebirth.

Y'know, Hypnobabies has a fear release CD that is really great--what kind of childbirth education are you planning on, if any? I have done the fear release 3 times now and most of my fears don't have much power over me anymore. I guess I also feel pretty confident and positive about my pregnancy in general, which helps allay a lot of fears.

Catherine, mama to Preschooler Girl 9/08, and Toddler Boy 3/11

VeganCupcake is offline  
#9 of 31 Old 07-10-2008, 09:59 AM - Thread Starter
 
gagirl2008's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 202
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by aurora_skys View Post
Read Ina May Gaskins books.. like, immediately. They are very good about reminding women that birth is a natural process, not one to be afraid of.

Also this http://www.homebirth.org.uk/firstbaby.htm website was very helpful to me as far as assuaging my (unfounded) fears.

My biggest concern with birth is *me*. As in, I dont want strangers interrupting me and making me uncomfortable, I dont want strangers telling me I cant eat, drink, walk, bathe etc, and I dont want strangers touching my baby or taking him away from me. Homebirth is the best way to ensure this.

by the way, i just noticed your sig, do you live in georgia, usa? me too :>
Yes, I'm in Griffin GA! What about you? I can't wait to get Ina May's Guide to Childbirth. I'm impatiently waiting on it to arrive! I'll check that site out too! Thanks!
gagirl2008 is offline  
#10 of 31 Old 07-10-2008, 10:02 AM - Thread Starter
 
gagirl2008's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 202
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by funfunkyfantastic View Post
Hey, I'm more scared of a hospital birth than a home birth! Hospitals have always made me nervous... ever since I was a kid. And, i've ALWAYS been afraid of needles. I used to get so tense at my check ups as a kid because I knew they were going to stick me with a needle. And then of course they had to stick me in the muscle... so that just made the pain all that worse. As I grew older I was able to remind myself to keep my muscles relaxed before the appointment so it wouldn't hurt as much. lol. Anyhow, at first I chose a hospital birth because I thought that that was the only option with my insurance. I had looked a little bit into a home or birthing center birth and hadn't seen any options so I just gave up and signed up with an OB. Later on while reading other people's stories on this site I realized that I might be able to have a home birth after all. So I did a lot more research on my insurance and found two midwives in my area that worked with my insurance. After a little slightly complicated switcheroo with my insurance (had to drop an HMO and switch to my main insurance) I was able to get one of the midwives. So now i'm seeing her instead. My home birth is going to be in a birthing tub that I will rent. The company i'm renting from sets up and takes down the birthing tub for no extra charge, and they're a 24 hour call service. The charge is $249, which might seem high for a rental, but it's probably because they do factor in the set up and take down that most services do not provide. I'm so looking forward to being able to relax in my own home with my own stuff and just lay around and do whatever I feel like doing. I could watch a movie to distract me... I could chatter with my family and friends (i'm inviting a bunch of people over to hang out with me while I labor), I could lay down... I could walk around... whatever. I could even surf the web! lol. I'll probably be here on MDC updating you all when i'm in labor. hehe. At least until it becomes too painful... then i'll have a friend do it.

I'm actually not nervous about the birth at all. I think I was more nervous about giving birth in a hospital, but now that I know I won't have to go anywhere near a hospital... I feel so much more relaxed! No one is going to poke me with needles! That alone makes me happy. lol.

Oh, and if you'd like to gain a nice healthy fear of birthing in a hospital, watch "the business of being born" you'll never consider a hospital birth ever again. lol. Too dang scary! *shudders*
I have watched The Business of Being Born. I thought it was great. I actually watched it when I first got pregnant so maybe I need to get it again!

Congrats on making your homebirth possible!! Good luck!
gagirl2008 is offline  
#11 of 31 Old 07-10-2008, 10:09 AM - Thread Starter
 
gagirl2008's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 202
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Alcyone View Post
My only concern is that my mother isn't very supportive about it and I don't want her screwing things up for me. Just remember your body was made to do this.
I don't think my mom will be very supportive either. She was already laughing and saying I couldn't do it without an epi. I did tell her this week that we're 'considering' a homebirth and she just asked all of the what if's and said she wasn't trying to be negative. We'll see!!
gagirl2008 is offline  
#12 of 31 Old 07-10-2008, 10:11 AM - Thread Starter
 
gagirl2008's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 202
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by VeganCupcake View Post
Yep, I'm a first-timer planning a homebirth. I have done/am doing everything I can to ensure a great birth experience, and then I will have to leave it up to the fates to see what happens!

I want a homebirth because I know it's the best situation for the birth that I want. This birth will be an experience I will remember for the rest of my life, and I deserve to have a positive experience with my DH and our chosen caregivers supporting me.

I worry a bit about having to transfer to the hospital and then being treated kind of crummy by personnel who are not so fond of homebirth.

Y'know, Hypnobabies has a fear release CD that is really great--what kind of childbirth education are you planning on, if any? I have done the fear release 3 times now and most of my fears don't have much power over me anymore. I guess I also feel pretty confident and positive about my pregnancy in general, which helps allay a lot of fears.
I have been working with hypnobabies. I actually need to get better though because I haven't been listening to the cd's. Did the one you're talking about come with the self study package?
gagirl2008 is offline  
#13 of 31 Old 07-10-2008, 11:32 AM
 
VeganCupcake's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Posts: 1,947
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by gagirl2008 View Post
I have been working with hypnobabies. I actually need to get better though because I haven't been listening to the cd's. Did the one you're talking about come with the self study package?
We took a live class, so I can't be sure, but I would assume so, since it was part of the original set of CDs our teacher gave us on the first day. Mine is on the same CD as Deepening, and it's actually called Fear Release. We were only assigned to start listening to it once we had finished the 6 week series of classes.

Catherine, mama to Preschooler Girl 9/08, and Toddler Boy 3/11

VeganCupcake is offline  
#14 of 31 Old 07-10-2008, 12:51 PM - Thread Starter
 
gagirl2008's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 202
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by VeganCupcake View Post
We took a live class, so I can't be sure, but I would assume so, since it was part of the original set of CDs our teacher gave us on the first day. Mine is on the same CD as Deepening, and it's actually called Fear Release. We were only assigned to start listening to it once we had finished the 6 week series of classes.
Oh ok! That sounds familiar now! I stopped listening to mine because my ipod ear pieces were killing me but I'll start back now that I have the soft ear pieces now. I was just on my second week.

How do you like the program?
gagirl2008 is offline  
#15 of 31 Old 07-10-2008, 01:59 PM
 
VeganCupcake's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Posts: 1,947
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I really like Hypnobabies. Very relaxing and some of the scripts are, well, how can I explain? Some of the scripts are very touching and special to me. I've had some neat experiences with my baby while doing to scripts, like conversations with baby. Yep, I'm nuts but I'm having a great experience.

Catherine, mama to Preschooler Girl 9/08, and Toddler Boy 3/11

VeganCupcake is offline  
#16 of 31 Old 07-10-2008, 02:39 PM
 
lcaitlin's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: brooklyn, NY
Posts: 368
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
this is my first pregnancy and we are planning a homebirth. I grew up around homebirth, so there was never a question for me that this is what I would be most comfortable with.

after attending births as a doula in hospitals, birth centers, and homes, my decision was more solidified than ever! the vibe at homebirths is almost universally loving, peaceful, joyous, natural and respectful of birth, baby and family. it's possible to have all that out of the home too, but it can be a real struggle to achieve and in my experience is very rare in hospitals.

my biggest fear is needing to transfer to the hospital. if I need hospital care for some reason, I'll of course be very grateful to have it available, but I know that would be a scary experience.
lcaitlin is offline  
#17 of 31 Old 07-10-2008, 03:37 PM
 
funfunkyfantastic's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Lynnwood, WA
Posts: 1,685
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by lcaitlin View Post
my biggest fear is needing to transfer to the hospital. if I need hospital care for some reason, I'll of course be very grateful to have it available, but I know that would be a scary experience.
Same here. Everyone keeps telling me not to worry about it, and that I probably won't have to go to the hospital... but i'm so nervous that i'm going to be forced to go to the hospital. Hospitals scare me...

Rachel lady.gif, in love with my baby girl Abigailenergy.gifborn 9/17/08!
funfunkyfantastic is offline  
#18 of 31 Old 07-10-2008, 07:06 PM
 
Engineering_Mama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: KCMO
Posts: 221
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
This is my first birth as well and we're planning a home birth I've always wanted a natural birth, ever since I can remember. I just always figured if I was going to birth a child I wanted to feel it, to experience it, to remember it...otherwise why bother? But that's just me. The more I've learned about birth in the USA the more convinced I am that I want to have a homebirth.

Quote:
Originally Posted by lcaitlin View Post

my biggest fear is needing to transfer to the hospital. if I need hospital care for some reason, I'll of course be very grateful to have it available, but I know that would be a scary experience.

That is also my biggest fear. I soooooo don't want to go to the hospital. I hate not being in control and I don't want to have to fight for what I want during what should be one of the most beautiful experiences of my life.

Wishing everyone wonderful, healthy pregnancy and labor (when the time comes!) vibes.
Engineering_Mama is offline  
#19 of 31 Old 07-10-2008, 09:46 PM
 
Nimm2's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Thailand
Posts: 67
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Hi, great to see that there are some other 1st timers in September who want to avoid the hospital.
You can count me in.

I can very much recommend 1st time homebirthers to order and study the 'Labor progress handbook' as well as optimal foetal positioning OFP techniques and being aware of position of the baby especially in the last weeks, study spinningbabies.com and learn about how a bad position can cause a difficult labor.

The most common reason for 1st timers to transfer is a long, hard labor, often caused by bad position of the baby like posterior positions.

If we can avoid this, the chances of being able to stay at home are going to look much much better. All the other what-ifs are then very unlikely if you are healthy and have been eating well.
Nimm2 is offline  
#20 of 31 Old 07-10-2008, 09:50 PM
 
funfunkyfantastic's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Lynnwood, WA
Posts: 1,685
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Yeah, i'm hoping she'll know to get in the right position, but I can definitely tell when she's in the wrong one.

Rachel lady.gif, in love with my baby girl Abigailenergy.gifborn 9/17/08!
funfunkyfantastic is offline  
#21 of 31 Old 07-10-2008, 10:37 PM
 
honeybee's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: West MI
Posts: 2,920
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I'm not a first-timer, but I just had to chime in and say congrats to all you first-time homebirthing moms! I wish hb had even been on my radar when I had my first. (I did have a nice birth at the hospital, just not as wonderful as homebirth!)

I just started seeing a chiropractor for some hip pain. She also does Webster technique, which is supposed to be great for helping babies be positioned correctly... I just thought I wold throw that info out there in case anyone's interested.

Melissa crochetsmilie.gif, wife to Tom geek.gif, mom to The Baron modifiedartist.gif, the Bean superhero.gif, Little Bear diaper.gif, and Baby Beaver babyboy.gif
honeybee is offline  
#22 of 31 Old 07-11-2008, 04:53 AM
 
Alcyone's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Posts: 1,115
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by gagirl2008 View Post
I have been working with hypnobabies. I actually need to get better though because I haven't been listening to the cd's. Did the one you're talking about come with the self study package?
I have that package, and yes. It's on disc 2. The Joyful Pregnancy affirmations are wonderful too. I'm glad to hear you'll be starting back with the CDs.
Alcyone is offline  
#23 of 31 Old 07-11-2008, 09:49 AM - Thread Starter
 
gagirl2008's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 202
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Alcyone View Post
I have that package, and yes. It's on disc 2. The Joyful Pregnancy affirmations are wonderful too. I'm glad to hear you'll be starting back with the CDs.
I actually LOVE the Joyful Pregnancy affirmations! I'm a negative self talker so those are really good for me to hear. I actually brought my ipod today hoping to listen to it at work today. Sometimes I'll even repeat them to people who are starting to talk negative to me. I love the "You deserve to be taken seriously" and "You can say no and still be respected". Ha. I have trouble with that normally I guess!!
gagirl2008 is offline  
#24 of 31 Old 07-11-2008, 09:50 AM - Thread Starter
 
gagirl2008's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 202
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by honeybee View Post
I'm not a first-timer, but I just had to chime in and say congrats to all you first-time homebirthing moms! I wish hb had even been on my radar when I had my first. (I did have a nice birth at the hospital, just not as wonderful as homebirth!)

I just started seeing a chiropractor for some hip pain. She also does Webster technique, which is supposed to be great for helping babies be positioned correctly... I just thought I wold throw that info out there in case anyone's interested.
Thank you for posting!

I just made my first chiropractor appointment for Monday! I'm so nervous. The midwife we interviewed and will probably use recommended her. She also does the Webster technique.
gagirl2008 is offline  
#25 of 31 Old 07-15-2008, 04:42 PM
 
sssarah's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 88
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I'm also a first-timer planning a homebirth. I grew up with homebirth (4 of my 5 siblings were born at home), and I've attended two of my sister's hospital births, and another friend's hospital birth. All three of the hospital births were pitocin induced with no pain medication, so they got what they wanted in terms of a drug-free birth, but it seems to me like a pretty difficult way to go.

I guess my biggest worry is that I'll go past 42 weeks, and have to decide whether to get induced or not. I worry about the pain sometimes too, but I also know that even if it is really bad, it will be temporary. The baby is eventually going to come out, one way or another. So even if I do freak out, it will still pass. And maybe I'll be able to stay relaxed and it won't be that bad :-) I'm really excited about the time right after the baby is born, and want to be alert and not all drugged up for it. In addition to Ina May's books, I'd also recommend Birthing From Within - it has good ideas about practicing pain management techniques, and a lot about how to work through your fears.

I would also like to point out that if you decide to do a homebirth, and it starts and isn't feeling right, you can still go to a hospital, but if you decide to do a hospital birth and want to leave the hospital, it's really hard to leave and you don't necessarily have your midwife available to back you up. You should check with your midwife and make sure that she'll go with you to the hospital if you do need to transfer care. My midwife is having us do one appointment at the local hospital so that if something comes up we'll already be registered and won't have to spend a lot of time filling out paperwork. She also has a good working relationship with them, so if we do go in after trying a homebirth, they shouldn't give us a hassle just because we tried something else.

Sorry this is so long - and good luck with your decision!
sssarah is offline  
#26 of 31 Old 07-16-2008, 11:17 AM - Thread Starter
 
gagirl2008's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 202
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Ok,,,,,it is looking like I’ll have a hospital birth now.

You can let me know if you think I’m getting the wrong impression from this lady or not. As I told my aunt,,,,maybe pregnant hormonal women shouldn’t be making these decisions!

I interviewed this lady on July 7th and she never mentioned anything in September that might conflict with my birth other than a mom due on September 20th. So I called on the 14th to let her know that we’d like to hire her and she says that she just wanted to let me know that her son was getting married and she didn’t know when so that might interfere. She said she didn’t know that it would be in September, it could be in Nov. or Dec. but she was letting everyone know. So I got off the phone a little irked with it and talked to my husband. We decided that we couldn’t decide until we knew for sure what month the wedding was in. So I left her a message that same night and she never called me back. I finally called her again yesterday and told her I didn’t want to commit until I knew about the wedding. She then said that she didn’t even think it was going to happen now and if it did that it would probably be 6-8 months but that basically anything could happen for her not to be there and I needed to be prepared for that. She said if one of her kids got married that she would be there. Then she explained how I wouldn’t know who I’d get at the hospital either and that she just leaves it in God’s hands and she’s only missed three births,,,two from emergencies and one that was planned. THEN she said if I was getting nervous about it or doubting it that maybe it just wasn’t for me. I totally understand about emergencies but I almost think she should plan her stuff around births. Maybe if she has a wedding she shouldn’t take any mothers for a couple of weeks around it or something. Maybe I’m totally off base with that. I just know as a first time mom and home birther I don’t want to feel like the person I’m paying and meeting with won’t be there! I felt like she was annoyed with me and just wanted to get me off of the phone. I’ve never really felt that we “clicked” the whole time but I liked her experience and don’t have a lot of other options!

So what would you think??
gagirl2008 is offline  
#27 of 31 Old 07-16-2008, 11:25 AM
 
funfunkyfantastic's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Lynnwood, WA
Posts: 1,685
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I think it's that way with MOST practitioners of any sort midwife or not. In fact, if you do choose to go to a hospital and use an OB, you probably WON'T get your OB for the birth... chances are he won't be on call when you go into labor and you'll end up with some stranger you've never met. At least with a midwife the chances are few and far between that you'd get someone other than your midwife. Midwives usually try to keep their schedules pretty open and it doesn't sound like she's got a very full schedule at all. My midwife will be gone labor day weekend and she let me know exactly what would happen if she's not there, etc. Yeah, it would suck if she didn't make it, but I find it highly unlikely.

Rachel lady.gif, in love with my baby girl Abigailenergy.gifborn 9/17/08!
funfunkyfantastic is offline  
#28 of 31 Old 07-16-2008, 01:07 PM
 
VeganCupcake's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Posts: 1,947
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I think most midwives will try to convey the same idea, but they might do a better job communicating it than your midwife did.

I specifically asked my midwife what would happen if she had two clients birthing at the same time--because no matter how she plans and takes her clients, it can happen. She explained that she has a backup person that she works with that she would send if I were the second woman to begin my birthing time. The doulas I've interviewed have said the same thing--and interestingly, one of the doulas said that she thinks that whoever needs to be at the birth will be there, in kind of a religious/spiritual way, you know?

Is this midwife your best choice? Because if she makes you uncomfortable in any way (like in her communication), I wouldn't hire her. But I've been very surprised in my community to find that there are many midwives that I hear about that I hadn't known were here. I would advise you to keep looking. It's still not too late!

Have you posted in Finding Your Tribe here on MDC to find more midwife recommendations in your area? Another option is emailing the contact on MANA.org page to get a list of member midwives in your area. (Forgive me if you've already mentioned that you have.)

Catherine, mama to Preschooler Girl 9/08, and Toddler Boy 3/11

VeganCupcake is offline  
#29 of 31 Old 07-16-2008, 01:12 PM - Thread Starter
 
gagirl2008's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 202
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Catherine,
I haven't emailed MANA.org but I'll try that. I have posted on the tribal section though. I am now up to 8 midwives that I've contacted. Two I had trouble with, two said I am too far south, one is too far north for ME but would've taken me, one is very very busy and one has a mom due out of state around my due date. I liked a lot of them over the phone but they just wouldn't work out for one reason or another.

Thanks for your reply!
gagirl2008 is offline  
#30 of 31 Old 07-16-2008, 02:45 PM
 
Montse's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Phoenix, AZ
Posts: 415
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I'm a first timer and want a home birth as well. The idea of going to the hospital is so out of the question for me unless of course, there is a legitimate medical emergency. If we move back to Phoenix before the baby is born, then I'm definitely giving birth at home. If we stay in Dallas, I'll go to a birth center. We live in a small apartment and not sure birthing here would be appropriate.
I saw "The Business of Being Born" several times and think it's a great movie! The OB I've been seeing is the epitome of the sort of doctor who would insist on a c-section and interventions. At my last appointment, she said if I labored too long, she would order a c-section. She said she'd support me as long as possible and give me time, even an extra hour (HOW GENEROUS), but if I didn't produce a baby within her allotted time frame, it's section time! I told her I would do most of my laboring at home and go to the hospital when I'm practically giving birth (I didn't want to discuss my home birth/birth center plans with her).
I decided to stop going to this doctor all together and am interviewing midwives this week and next.
I could be wrong but it seems to me that women giving birth at home do not experience extended labors like the women in hospitals.
Montse is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off