if one more person asks... (a vent) - Mothering Forums

 
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#1 of 26 Old 09-10-2008, 08:37 PM - Thread Starter
 
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if one more person asks me if I've had the baby, when I'm going to have the baby, how I'm feeling, or anything else related to this never-ending pregnancy, I think I'm going to scream!!

While I do realize that these questions come from a place of love and concern, I absolutely can't take any more of it. I'm 41 weeks pregnant. I know I'm late, I know I'm huge. There's really nothing I can do about it. And the constant flow of emails, calls, text messages is so %$^*%^$ annoying I can't take it. I turned my cell phone off because I was so sick of it. I wish I could completely unplug my land line. ugh.

I wish people would just back off. I have tried telling people that when I do have the baby, I promise I will call, text, email, whatever. But that doesn't seem to stop the daily pestering. And if I don't email or call back, I start getting the even more annoying things like, "oh you didn't answer, you must be in labor!!" UGH!

I am completely frustrated that I am post-due. But I am sort of getting to a place where I'm actually ok with it and am just letting the baby pick her own birthday, etc. But it's so hard to get to that zen-like place when people won't stop bugging me!!

ok... vent over. thank you. it feels better just to get it out there.

modern-mama to DS (5.16.05) and DD (9.11.08) and one more (GIRL!) coming in December
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#2 of 26 Old 09-10-2008, 08:50 PM
 
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That's how I felt with BOTH of my pregnancies. I went past 41 weeks with both. I totally feel your frustration. With my second (a VBAC) I also got, "When are you scheduled for your repeat?" even though they knew I was trying to have a vaginal birth. Grrrr. I am currently 40 weeks with number three. I was remembering today that when I was 41 weeks with dd#2 we were going to a birthday party for our friends daughter. My dh went in ahead of me because I was an emotional WRECK and told everybody not to even ASK...do you think it stopped them? Nope. I got looks of pity and concern. It was HORRIBLE. This time I'm just resigned to the fact that baby won't be here until at least 41 weeks, and I'm in a MUCH better place about it. It just took until baby #3 for me to "get" that I just gestate longer. (((Hugs)))
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#3 of 26 Old 09-10-2008, 09:53 PM
 
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Same here - and I'm not even at my due date yet.
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#4 of 26 Old 09-10-2008, 10:14 PM
 
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Oh I know! I'm 38.5 weeks and I'm already getting the stupid comments. : DH blabbed the EDD to the neighbor yesterday and I was so mad! I don't want anyone to know because I don't want to have to talk about it or hear about it when the day comes and there's no baby yet. I have a hunch I'll be going just a few days after 40 weeks, which is TOTALLY NORMAL and HEALTHY. I don't need people projecting their concerns on me in the form of, "I bet you want that baby out now!" "When are you going to pop, already?" "Aren't you there, yet?" I have a feeling I'll be avoiding the world by next week.

I don't consider anything under 42 weeks to be overdue. I don't need anyone stressing me out at 40 (or before!).

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#5 of 26 Old 09-10-2008, 11:34 PM
 
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its so ridiculously annoying!

my sister calle dme today and the first thing she said (not even a hello!) was "Bet youre ready to have that thing out of you, huh?!" which is wrong on so many levels I just mumbled "no, not really..."

My neighbor drives by and takes the time to slow down and yell "You havent had that baby yet?!?" across the street. Uh, no, Im not even "due" yet so buzz off!

All anyone who calls me want to talk about is the baby. If one more person asks if Im "ready for it" yet, I may flip out. It'd like what do you want me to do, confess my secret insecurities to you so we can have a heart to heart???

I just get sooo anooyed with peoples comments. I dont care if they have good intentions, people say rude and thoughtless things to me and it pisses me off!

*whew* feels better now tho :P
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#6 of 26 Old 09-11-2008, 12:07 AM
 
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Amen sister! Couldn't have said it better myself.

AP crunchy homeschooling mama to Henning (1/4/03), Connor (7/1/05) and Elijah (9/21/08) and shocked to be
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#7 of 26 Old 09-11-2008, 12:14 AM
 
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Not in your DDC... but I wanted to sympathize.

I went to 42 weeks. Had to be induced. I was due August 3rd... Ian was FINALLY born the morning of August 17th.

I got quite tired of the constant "You MUST be MISERABLE!" et cetera, and decided I wasn't going to respond to ANY calls, emails, texts, Myspace comments, NOTHING until the kid was born. That'll learn 'em, right?

The "Power" button is my FAVOURITE feature of my cell 'phone.
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#8 of 26 Old 09-11-2008, 12:29 AM
 
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I'm still 2 1/2 weeks away but the comments from random strangers is really getting to me like "you look like you're going to explode" and "i'm glad that's YOU!" What makes people say stuff like that anyway and how is that even ok to say?
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#9 of 26 Old 09-11-2008, 01:11 AM
 
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YES YES YES!!! I would love to turn my phone off, but then they would just stop by.... sigh
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#10 of 26 Old 09-11-2008, 01:47 AM
 
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I totally could have written your post. I told my dad that the next person who tells me, "You just need to get that baby out!" is going to be slapped and he said that I should use it as an opportunity to slap some people who I've been wanting to slap anyway... who ever heard of a 41 week mama getting arrested for assaulting an idiot?
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#11 of 26 Old 09-11-2008, 09:44 AM
 
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I can't stand that every day at work every single person I see says, "You're still here?" I sure wish I weren't! I've never experienced this with my prior pregnancies, because I've always given birth at the beginning of the window before anyone even thought to start asking. But, alas, this is now my longest pregnancy by a week. * Jaime
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#12 of 26 Old 09-11-2008, 09:55 AM
 
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Oh i'm so with you on this one...i've decied to stay away from places i normally go that people would me about no baby yet....like church and a mama group i go to. Just vegitating in the house and screening my calls. It's frustrating to hear "no baby yet?"...hello i will call you or maybe now i wont call you because you wont stop calling me!!!!!!!!
Oh my goodness i didnt answer the phone yesterday and my step mom starting calling all my other family memebers...like my mom and my sister looking for me....hello i was in a very deep conversation with one of my bestest friends and i didnt want to answer the phone...please dont dont do that to me. Then everyone else will get upset and start calling me and we will have utter confusion in a matter of seconds.

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#13 of 26 Old 09-11-2008, 10:19 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by aurora_skys View Post
its so ridiculously annoying!

my sister calle dme today and the first thing she said (not even a hello!) was "Bet youre ready to have that thing out of you, huh?!" which is wrong on so many levels I just mumbled "no, not really..."

this one gets me. it is wrong on a lot of levels! a random storekeeper that i had never seen before said that to me this week. it's been a beautiful pregnancy and I love this baby and refuse to think about the birth in those terms. Think of how sensitive we all will be from these experiences of being objectified...
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#14 of 26 Old 09-11-2008, 11:55 AM
 
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Hugs to everybody! People just can't shut up.

I started hearing comments before 38 weeks and being asked why my drs were letting me go that long. Then I had the fun of telling them I wasn't even due for a few weeks and then I shocked them even more by saying I wasn't seeing a dr.
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#15 of 26 Old 09-11-2008, 11:56 AM
 
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People are so weird. When I was pg with DD2, my then-neighbor asked me if I was going to have a c/s. I was like, um, no, why? Then she said, are you getting induced? What the heck? I think I wasn't even "overdue" yet. I ended up going to 41 weeks with her. Yes, I was miserable, but why on earth would I schedule a c/s with absolutely no complications?

This time around, I kept the EDD secret. Apparently my mom didn't though, b/c we ran into one of her friends at the mall and she said, "Oh you're due the 20th right?" I said, "Yeah, end of September." I hate the arbitrary date. It's bad enough when I obsess over it myself, but to have other people that I barely know focusing on a random date makes it that much more stressful. I don't think I even told my inlaws the EDD.

Mom to DD#1 8/04, nursed 43 months, DD#2 8/06, nursed 21 months and DD#3 9/08, still nursing strong
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#16 of 26 Old 09-11-2008, 11:59 AM
 
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I showed really early and so people were asking me this annoying stuff ALL the time even a few months ago--how annoying! The worst was a woman (works at one of the shops in our VERY little town) who said "No offense, but it seems like you've been pregnant forever." What is THAT supposed to mean? First of all, I don't even know your name, so why are you so invested in my body and my pregnancy? And then all the other women in town who would tell me I had "dropped". They were telling me that 3 months ago. Guess what, I just dropped between my 36 and 37 week appointment, so keep your stupid observations to yourself!
Okay, I feel a little better now. Thanks for the opportunity to vent.

Mama to DD (10/8/08) and expecting someone new in November!
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#17 of 26 Old 09-11-2008, 01:48 PM
 
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I got stopped at work today by a complete stranger who just assumed I was due the same time his wife was (in November!!). And yesterday the random kid at the checkout counter assumed I was due in mid October. <sigh> Since we had a growth scare earlier in the pregnancy(turned out the baby was transverse that day but the babe still measures a bit on the small side) these comments just make me feel like I'm not having a healthy baby. And it makes me worry. I still have 2.5 weeks till my EDD.

I wish people would keep their mouths closed.
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#18 of 26 Old 09-11-2008, 01:52 PM
 
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Same here!

I think I'll be pretty dang excited when she's finally here that I won't be able to keep my mouth shut. Do people think I'm really not going to tell them? Ugh!

I just keep hitting ignore and screening all my calls.
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#19 of 26 Old 09-11-2008, 02:12 PM
 
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I'm with you, covertlycrunchy - I swear if I hear "You're SOO small! You can't be due in a week!" one more time...

Anyway, after hearing it so much already, I'm just about convinced I'm going to have a full term, 1 pound baby. Sigh. I'm definitely way more worried about her/his health because of all of the comments.

Vegan mama to DD (9/08), DS (9/11), and many rescued furbabies. 

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#20 of 26 Old 09-11-2008, 02:13 PM
 
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mmm, and dont you just love when the grocery cashier stops what she doing, gives you a horrified look, and exclaims "Youre not about to deliver, are you?!?"

uh, no. im looking for my wallet...

it makes me want to gasp "yes!" and cause a fiasco at the publix
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#21 of 26 Old 09-11-2008, 02:29 PM
 
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lol, my mom fields half my questions for me. Cept sometimes she gets some of the info wrong and sends people around us into a panic. haha.

And then some people just mishear.

Yeah... i'm tired of all the "have you had the baby yet?" crap too. Some of my friends seem to think i'm going to forget to call them. lol. Right.

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#22 of 26 Old 09-11-2008, 03:52 PM
 
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I'm with you, covertlycrunchy - I swear if I hear "You're SOO small! You can't be due in a week!" one more time...

Anyway, after hearing it so much already, I'm just about convinced I'm going to have a full term, 1 pound baby. Sigh. I'm definitely way more worried about her/his health because of all of the comments.
Yeah I've been getting this one too. That is also annoying!
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#23 of 26 Old 09-11-2008, 04:02 PM
 
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I hear from people who have never been pregnant that I'm huge, and women who have been pregnant that I'm tiny. I think I'm just average.

I'm a proud mama of two girls! 4/30/06 Madeline, 09/25/08 Amelia
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#24 of 26 Old 09-12-2008, 01:19 PM
 
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I'm 39 weeks and HUGE. I walk my 5 year old to school and there is a chorus of ladies (I don't know) who "and a"aah" and "poor thing" at me every morning. Its funny but annoying. Its like having a giant belly gives people the right to do and say things they normally would not to a perfect stranger. Its so inappropriate. I don't remember this happening with #1 but I guess I never got this big with him.

Then there are people who say nice things or just simply smile because they have been through it too. I've had people say I look beautiful. I know this is not true but I'd rather hear it than "oh, you poor thing! you look like you could pop!"
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#25 of 26 Old 09-12-2008, 01:31 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I've had people say I look beautiful. I know this is not true but I'd rather hear it than "oh, you poor thing! you look like you could pop!"
I always try to remember to say "you look great" to very pregnant moms. I remember feeling like a whale with #1 and someone said it to me- it made my day. After all the crap we hear, I figure other moms need positivity as much as I did.

And funny- just 2 hours after I originally posted this, I went into early labor!! Guess baby could feel my angst and wanted to help me out.

modern-mama to DS (5.16.05) and DD (9.11.08) and one more (GIRL!) coming in December
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#26 of 26 Old 09-12-2008, 01:57 PM
 
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And funny- just 2 hours after I originally posted this, I went into early labor!! Guess baby could feel my angst and wanted to help me out.
Oh I wish mine would do this... Please baby mommy is loosing her marbles!

AP crunchy homeschooling mama to Henning (1/4/03), Connor (7/1/05) and Elijah (9/21/08) and shocked to be
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11/15 Forever holding my 3 lost little ones in my heart.
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