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-   September 2008 (http://www.mothering.com/forum/432-september-2008/)
-   -   How do you feel about your postpartum body? (http://www.mothering.com/forum/432-september-2008/984542-how-do-you-feel-about-your-postpartum-body.html)

VeganCupcake 10-17-2008 09:39 PM

This might be the last thing on your mind right now, but I wonder how you all are feeling about your bodies.

I looked at my perineum for the first time this morning and I feel kind of sad about what I saw. There's a weird skin flap that my midwife had told me might be there, but it's bigger than I expected. I know it doesn't really matter, but I still feel kind of sad and yucky about it.

How do the rest of you feel?

lwuertz 10-17-2008 10:10 PM

I'm kind of upset about the stretch marks. They showed up only days before DD was born all around my belly button. I got no other stretch marks the whole pregnancy. Now they're still there and bright redish/purplish. I hate them. I loved my perfect stretch mark free tummy.

Also I seem to have leveled off at 20lbs pp weight-loss. Which is under my pre-pregnancy weight (If you remember I had HG so I didn't gain much), but still not where I want to be.

I haven't even attempted to look down there to see what the story is. It's still kind of sore so I'm afraid of what I'll see.

trayls 10-17-2008 11:30 PM

Not the last thing on my mind, unfortunately. There is a mirror that I have to move because I keep catching my full body image in it where its placed.

I gained a lot of weight in my butt, hips and thighs during my pregnancy. When my belly got really big it sort of dwarfed those areas. Now that the belly is so much smaller, there is no missing the wide-load that is my behind. I hate my weird squishy belly that's left, but at least its hiding the hideous c-section scar that I avoid ever looking at.

My skin has been pretty bad - likely a combination of hormones, changing weather and refined sugars.

I sound very negative... I think I'm a bit blue.

joshs_girl 10-18-2008 12:07 AM

hate it.

i gained 23 lbs, and i've lost 27 lbs, but i look way worse now than i did before pregnancy.

and how's this for fun? i have stretch marks on my vayjayjay.

VeganCupcake 10-18-2008 12:37 AM

Thanks for sharing to those who have thus far--I hope more will, too. I find it reassuring and healing to know I'm not alone.

I told my sweet DH how I was feeling about this and he said, "You sacrificed your bodily integrity to bring our little girl into the world." That's a nice sentiment, but when you haven't accepted the changes (maybe permanent ones) in your body, it's not really very comforting. I don't think he really understands.

lcaitlin 10-18-2008 01:00 AM

yep, I can relate to all these sentiments. I had hg too, and after losing close to 30 lbs. over the first 5 months, I gained it all back plus another 50. that's right -- 50 lbs. gain from pre-preg weight, and almost 80 total over 4 months!! I ate a cheeseburger or steak plus ice cream every day over those last months since that was all I could keep down happily. so I've got some work to do now.

I don't have a scale so I have no idea what my weight is now, but I sure can see my chubby belly without knowing the number. have to wait until the next trip to the vet to check myself out on the dog scale...

comforting to hear others are having skin issues too. what the heck happened?? my skin had never looked better for a while there, but now it's a mess.

and does anyone else have much darker skin inside and all around your belly button? I kind of liked the linea negra, but not so much the weird belly button splotch.

lcaitlin 10-18-2008 01:02 AM

ps -- have had no interest in looking at my birthing area so far. want to wait until the swelling is much better until I get the hand mirror out...

Logan's mommy 10-18-2008 01:57 AM

I have more stretch marks on my belly and an even more belly flab than before, but I'm down to a few pounds less than pre-pregnancy weight and I think I look thinner than I did before I got pregnant. I'm feeling pretty good about how I look right now.

allisonrose 10-18-2008 02:18 AM

vegancupcake - I have a little skin flap on my perineum as well. I'm a tad weirded out by it.

I also think my inner labia look weird now. I asked hubby to take a look and he had no problem with what he saw. I guess that's a good thing.

My stretch marks are still quite vivid. I look forward to them fading. Sometimes I get bummed about the squishy belly, sometimes I don't mind it so much. Mostly I try to keep in mind that there is the potential that my belly will become tighter once I start exercising again.

neshamamama 10-18-2008 02:47 AM

Ugh, I stepped on the scale today to find that I had gained 2 lbs since last week...I really thought that I would steadily lose weight for a while. This pregnancy was totally different on my body than my first two. I never got any major stretch marks the first two times but this time...not good... I also gained about 15 extra lbs this time...I swear I did not do anything differently... I am glad it is starting to cool down here because I am really ready to get outside and start moving my body...

lwuertz 10-18-2008 02:56 AM

I also think I have that ab separation thing. It still feels all squashy in the center of my belly and when I flex my stomach area there is kind of a big long lump down the center. It's really weird.

funfunkyfantastic 10-18-2008 04:50 AM

Oh, I don't feel so great about my PP body. I keep asking DH if it's alright how I look, and If I still look sexy to him. He says I still look sexy... but I so do not believe him right now. lol. I feel so chubby and flabby. I gained over 50 lbs from this pregnancy. I also got really really big and stretched out pretty bad. I have a ton of stretch marks. I keep joking that I look like a zebra! The ones that i'm most upset about though are the ones on my breasts. They look like burn marks! The skin stretched so much in some places that it's almost see-through. It's awful! I keep trying to tell myself that i'm going to firm up and get smaller again. But when I look at my huge hips (size 16, up from a size 7 pre-pregnancy) and flabby tummy in the mirror I fear that that won't be the case and i'll be stuck this way forever!

Alcyone 10-18-2008 07:01 AM

I don't mind the stretch marks, really. I already had some non-pregnancy-related ones in basically the same places, so… whatever. But I couldn't bring myself to look at my scar until yesterday, and now I'm trying to forget what I saw.

joshs_girl 10-18-2008 01:37 PM

The stretch marks - I knew I'd get them (I have tons from puberty) and I know they'll fad, so they aren't the worst thing that could happen to me.

My belly though - even though it was poochy before - now looks it looks like a great big piece of sponge cake. It grosses me out - you can make waves with it, bleh.

I've been clothes shopping - I need a bigger size just to fasten around my belly, but they literally will fall off of my hips if I button them under my "overhang." I think I need to find a waist wrap of some sort to wear ... a girdle like my grandma uses.

Horribly enough, my scar is the nicest thing. It looks like I just got scratched by a cat. It still makes me sad though.

Have yall seen the site - The Shape of a Mother?
http://theshapeofamother.com/

Mamato3wild ponnie 10-18-2008 05:51 PM

I'm fairly comfortable with my body right now. I gained 55 pounds and at 3 weeks was down by 30 pounds. So i only have about 15-20 to go to get back into pre-pregnancy clothes. However i dont feel fat, i have some belly flab but other than that i'm good to go. I feel so fortunate that i did not get any more stretch marks...even though this was my biggest baby 10+2 pounds. My DP has not seen me up close other than skype...He says i look great no matter what my weight is....so that makes me feel wonderful. Those stretch marks on your breasts will fade with time...just keep them moisturized and the skin will return to a skin color before long.

yummama 10-18-2008 10:53 PM

UGH! I gained 60 pounds during pregnancy--on top of about 20 that I wanted to loose prior to getting preg. My butt, and thighs are disgusting to me right now. When I had a huge belly, I could sort of ignore how big they had actually gotten, but not anymore! Time to face facts....
I lost 30 pounds the first week-- but that is because i was SO swollen. I don't mind my stomach so much. It is already really small and I have always toned easily there, but what good is a flat tummy on a huge flabby butt and thighs.
Not to mention, my mother has brought up post partum weight loss EVERY time I talk to her (multiple times a day, often) since the birth. Like I don't think about it every time I realize I can only wear sweatpants because everything in my closet is at least 3 sizes smaller than what I would need right now.
I am going to ask my midwife when I can start working out at my 2 week pp appointment this week--I have to do something about this extra 50 plus pounds--pronto.
My DH is loving my new huge boobs--it distracts him from looking at other parts of me, thank goodness.

yummama 10-18-2008 10:56 PM

"I don't have a scale so I have no idea what my weight is now, but I sure can see my chubby belly without knowing the number. have to wait until the next trip to the vet to check myself out on the dog scale..."

I have to take my dogs to the vet in a few weeks--don't know if their scale will even register my weight!

lwuertz 10-19-2008 02:56 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by yummama View Post
My DH is loving my new huge boobs--it distracts him from looking at other parts of me, thank goodness.
Yeah. DH can hardly contain himself. He's been like begging me to DTD... I am not ready!

Alcyone 10-19-2008 05:24 AM

I weigh less than I did pre-preg (thanks to morning sickness) but the weight is distributed in rather, um, non-flattering ways. I still can't wear pre-preg clothes, so the number isn't that exciting. I'm dying to start exercising, but I won't get cleared until at least 8 weeks.

funfunkyfantastic 10-19-2008 05:38 AM

I'm feeling even less happy about my body after last night. Last night was the navy birthday ball. I went with my husband and wore a pretty red dress I bought second hand that I barely fit into. I even wore a nice girdle type thing underneath to hold everything in the best I could. I thought I was pulling it off just great and was even feeling pretty good about myself until we went to turn in our coats for safekeeping at the ball. The lady who took my coat asked me how far along I was. I was like "excuse me?" lol. And then she says "you're pregnant right? How far along are you?" all smiling at me. And so of course I said "oh, i'm not pregnant." and she said "Oh i'm so sorry!" And I said "I did have a baby a month ago though." So, she tried her best to redeem herself by asking what the gender was and what i'd named my baby. Well, great... i guess I still look pregnant. Just what I wanted to hear.

elisheva 10-19-2008 02:51 PM

s to the c/s mamas braving the look at the scar. It took me months to look and many more months to touch it.

This time I feel pretty good. I'm down 15 lbs from pre-preg (thanks to eating low carb to control my blood sugar during preg).

We DTD about a week ago and it was kind ouchy at 6.5 weeks postpartum. Afterward, I felt like I had given birth again and almost wanted an ice pack. I think it was too soon for me. The geography feels different down there to me (though DH swears it feels the same to him). I have heard that it takes months to feel like yourself again. I did have some significant labial tearing, so that may account for the soreness and weirdness.

tjjazzy 10-20-2008 04:12 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by lwuertz View Post
Yeah. DH can hardly contain himself. He's been like begging me to DTD... I am not ready!
mine is a horndog too!! not sure if it's the boobs or what?! they were big before i started bfing! makes me feel better though.
i don't know what i weigh...i am smaller than i was with my first but i gained less this time.

Charmie981 10-20-2008 04:53 PM

I'm happy with the way my body is headed, but frustrated with the amount of time it's taking to get there. With DS1 and 2, I started out my pregnancies at 160-ish and gained about 40 pounds with both of them. With Silas, I started out at 193 and gained 25 pounds. At nearly 7 weeks postpartum, I've lost that 25 pounds plus another 4 pounds, but even so my body is different than it was before I had him. My face is thinner and my waist, hips and thighs are thinner as well. Most of the weight I still have is from just below my shoulders to the "love handle" area just above the waist. I want to lose that, but I feel like that's just a matter of time. I did just have a baby 6 weeks ago, after all!

Here's a pic of my face about 4 months before I got pregnant:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/6628399...7602450993772/

At about 34 weeks pregnant:
http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i3...M/IMG_2637.jpg

And at 6 weeks postpartum:
http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i3...ieCM/124-1.jpg

I feel like I'm getting my face back and I like that feeling a lot!

funfunkyfantastic 10-20-2008 05:57 PM

charmie, you look surprised in that last picture. lol.

emski4379 10-20-2008 08:20 PM

I don't like how my body looks right now. I just found some small stretch marks on the bottom of my belly, and while they're not very visible, it bugs me that I only saw them pp. My belly looks about 4 months preggo, and almost non of my pre-pregnancy clothes fit. Only the biggest pieces fit. I can't wait to be able to start working out and doing weight watchers!

Oh, and I have yet to take a look down there. It still feels swollen, and I'm afraid to see the stitches.

lwuertz 10-20-2008 10:01 PM

So even though I am sure I'm still shrinking I bought a pair of jeans today. I was constantly pulling up my pants all day long yesterday and I couldn't take it anymore. I got them with a gift card so it kind of doesn't feel like I completely wasted my money.

Mamato3wild ponnie 10-20-2008 11:28 PM

I had to break down and get jeans too...it helped me to feel better to get into jeans..even though they are a few sizes bigger than pre-pregnancy.

Charmie981 10-20-2008 11:34 PM

I've bought clothes after each baby and subsequently undergrown those clothes in a few months, but for those few months, it is so important to feel good about yourself! I've bought three pair of jeans since Silas was born...my pre-pregnancy jeans weren't fitting my pp belly comfortably and may never fit comfortably again, so it's nice to know that as long as one of those three pair of pants is clean, I have something to wear that FITS.

And congrats on being in the single digits...that's always my goal.

EarthyLady 10-21-2008 12:00 AM

I gained less weight this time, so I look better than I have the last two times pp. AND the birth was much easier and I didn't swell or tear down there at all! So, that area is doing better than expected too! This being my third kid...I'm feeling pretty good about myself right now!

However, I remember with my first baby, I felt like I was gonna be fat forever. (I wasn't! I lost ALL of the weight!) And then with my second, (my first vaginal birth) I cried the first time I looked down there. I was SO swollen it was almost unrecognizable down there! I was so sad! I guess this time I was just expecting it to be worst and it wasn't. So, I'm feeling good!

winginit 10-21-2008 12:07 AM

Ok...I have not even dared to look down there. I keep thinking of chopped up hamburger although I know it doesn't look like that!!

I was feeling ok with my weight loss, until I went to the midwife for my 6 week appointment and I hadn't lost any since the 4 week appointment!! Argggh. And I'm totally craving sugar..no help there!! Thank goodness for yoga pants...they're very forgiving.

I always get down to 10 pounds past my pre-pregnancy weight nursing, and I have to keep reminding myself that it is temporary. Although I have to admit it is so nice to actually have a waist!


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