I can't believe the lady at the grocery store... - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 15 Old 10-19-2008, 02:03 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I am so, so irked by this. Still. And it's been hours since it happened.

Tonight I had to run to the store to get some things for dinner. This lady got there around the same time me and parked near me so we were sort of walking in together, but not really. She was starring at me the whole time. Then when we get to the cart area she says, "You know, dressing like that is how you wound up that way," in a very snarky tone, with the "that way" part obviously referring to DD in the carrier on my chest. I don't know I guess my skirt was too short or I looked really young. FTR I was wearing a jean mini skirt, but it hits pretty long on me because I'm short.

For once I decided that I was not going to just wait to think of something to say hours later. I was going to tell her off even if it meant some stumbling over my words!

I felt my face get hot and red as I said, "Actually, I got this way by marrying my husband five years ago, using fertility drugs for a year and enduring two months of IVs because my morning sickness was so bad. This baby was very much wanted and planned. You really shouldn't assume things about people and make comments!"

Completely shocked, she just sort of said, "Oh," and quickly made her way into the store. I just don't get it. Some people!

I told DH when I got home and he agreed that my skirt wasn't that short either. I'm only 25, I'm still allowed to wear skirts that hit above the knee, right? Or does that just end automatically because I'm a "mom" now?
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#2 of 15 Old 10-19-2008, 02:10 AM
 
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I don't know why people always feel they have the right to put their "two cents" worth in. :

I think you are entitled to dress whatever kind of way you want. (Personally, I prefer longer dresses/skirts, and I don't wear shorts, but that's just how *I* choose to dress.) I certainly wouldn't judge someone by how they dress (unless it's exceptionally revealing, like the teenage girl I saw at the store wearing shorts so short I could see her bum. That I didn't agree with, but it's not my place to *say* anything.)

I don't think there was anything with the way you were dressed. People just think it's alright to say whatever they want to whoever they want. I'm sorry she said that to you.

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#3 of 15 Old 10-19-2008, 02:57 AM
 
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Wow! That sucks! I'm so sorry! She was completely out of line- even if you were 14 and this was your 3rd baby she would have been out of line! :

I'm so glad you responded to her comment!

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#4 of 15 Old 10-19-2008, 04:06 AM
 
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I bet she thinks twice before she does that again. Good for you.

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#5 of 15 Old 10-19-2008, 04:27 AM
 
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Oh wow. High five to you for your awesome comeback! You go girl!

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#6 of 15 Old 10-19-2008, 04:33 AM
 
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Hi. I'm Lorry. I'm 30, a mom, and I wear skirts above the knee.

Don't all the fashion gurus tell short people like us to wear skirts above the knee? Even for our fancy dress suits or whatever? :P Not that it matters, of course, but it seems odd anyone would care about that in modern, Western society.

Good for you for telling her off. I sure hope she remembers you the next time she wants to do that!
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#7 of 15 Old 10-19-2008, 09:19 PM
 
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I can't imagine how dreadful it would feel to be attacked by a complete stranger like that. I am so, so sorry.

I do need to gently remind all of you that namecalling, no matter how deserved (including calling people stupid) is against the UA. There are a few edits needed here. Thanks!

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#8 of 15 Old 10-19-2008, 09:26 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lwuertz View Post
I am so, so irked by this. Still. And it's been hours since it happened.

Tonight I had to run to the store to get some things for dinner. This lady got there around the same time me and parked near me so we were sort of walking in together, but not really. She was starring at me the whole time. Then when we get to the cart area she says, "You know, dressing like that is how you wound up that way," in a very snarky tone, with the "that way" part obviously referring to DD in the carrier on my chest. I don't know I guess my skirt was too short or I looked really young. FTR I was wearing a jean mini skirt, but it hits pretty long on me because I'm short.

For once I decided that I was not going to just wait to think of something to say hours later. I was going to tell her off even if it meant some stumbling over my words!

I felt my face get hot and red as I said, "Actually, I got this way by marrying my husband five years ago, using fertility drugs for a year and enduring two months of IVs because my morning sickness was so bad. This baby was very much wanted and planned. You really shouldn't assume things about people and make comments!"

Completely shocked, she just sort of said, "Oh," and quickly made her way into the store. I just don't get it. Some people!

I told DH when I got home and he agreed that my skirt wasn't that short either. I'm only 25, I'm still allowed to wear skirts that hit above the knee, right? Or does that just end automatically because I'm a "mom" now?
Well done, mama. I too get flustered and usually think of things later. you were honest, respectful, and stood up for yourself in a very mature manner. I bet you changed her life for the better a bit today.
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#9 of 15 Old 10-19-2008, 11:43 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by annettemarie View Post
I do need to gently remind all of you that namecalling, no matter how deserved (including calling people stupid) is against the UA. There are a few edits needed here. Thanks!
Sorry. I changed the subject line.
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#10 of 15 Old 10-20-2008, 12:10 AM
 
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No problem. It wasn't just you, and if this wasn't MDC I would have a few names to toss out there myself.

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#11 of 15 Old 10-20-2008, 02:55 PM
 
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good for you! who did she think she was?!!!

wife to wonderful dh_malesling.GIF mama of three-DS1 born December 30, 2005 and DS2 born September 27, 2008 and one lovely little girl born September 7, 2011jumpers.gif

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#12 of 15 Old 10-22-2008, 08:37 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lwuertz View Post

I felt my face get hot and red as I said, "Actually, I got this way by marrying my husband five years ago, using fertility drugs for a year and enduring two months of IVs because my morning sickness was so bad. This baby was very much wanted and planned. You really shouldn't assume things about people and make comments!"
GREAT REBUTTAL, Lisa! I would've love to have been there to cheer you on!
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#13 of 15 Old 10-23-2008, 01:09 PM
 
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Good for you!

I wish people would keep mouths shut! I get rude comments about preventing babies with tvs in rooms or if I need a class to know how it happens.
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#14 of 15 Old 10-23-2008, 03:26 PM
 
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(not in your ddc but...)

WOW. Way to go, standing up for yourself like that! That takes a lot of guts and character.

><> I'm a Christian, knitting, sewing, cooking SAHM to the fearless adventurer Jack born 11/08, and  a  USCG wife
And we are joyfully awaiting a new addition in April 2011! <><
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#15 of 15 Old 10-24-2008, 10:56 PM
 
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Wow, what a rude statement. I'm sorry you were judged that way. Personally, if I saw you, I would be impressed you felt comfortable wearing a short skirt so soon after having a baby. And probably a little jealous, too

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