Weekly Chat 11/29 - 12/5 - Page 3 - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
Reply
 
Thread Tools
#61 of 156 Old 12-02-2008, 12:29 PM
 
heidirk's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: adrift in a basket...
Posts: 2,728
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Carrie- I don't even want to attempt a wrap, it's always seemed like waaayyy too much fabric! I'm happy with my new sling, which a fellow mom made for me. I couldn't get Milo comfy in the meitai, which ds1 loved! : don't feel bad. I also drink coffee, and it helps tremendously. It only affected Milo one time, and I had drunk almost 2 pots! : DH puts a stick note on the coffeepot to remind me to take my vits if i've been forgetting.



Milo has been gassy on and off, but the gripe water has been taking care of it. not much else going on around here. . .

I love holding my chunky LO, he seems so solid now, no longer a newborn, I can't beleive how quickly it went by! I'll have to do this again after a while!

computergeek2.gif  wife to bikenew.gif and momma to my intact boys headscratch.gif 06/19/06 and mischievous.gif 10/10/08 We delayed/selective vax; constantly wash.gif  always intactlact.gif

Niemals Gewalt
heidirk is offline  
#62 of 156 Old 12-02-2008, 12:41 PM
 
Changed's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Posts: 7,419
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I've heard the bjorns just aren't great for the babys spine... better to be held than not though right?

I wouldn't even mess with a wrap. Carrie, you need a SSC like a beco or angelpack. Soooo easy. My lo lives in the angelpack lx. I have tons of other slings but that's the only one we use.
Changed is offline  
#63 of 156 Old 12-02-2008, 12:47 PM
 
mamanurse's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Not on MDC
Posts: 3,108
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I think there is some belief that the Bjorn can cause poor spine and possibly hip development. I also found it to be incredibly uncomfortable after my baby got older than 3 months. Here's an article on spine development.
mamanurse is offline  
#64 of 156 Old 12-02-2008, 01:31 PM
 
neveryoumindthere's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Posts: 3,954
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I just use a regular 'mayawrap' type ring sling that i've used with all 3 of my kiddos.
And more recently I bought a Chunei. it's soooo awesome. I have never been able to wear my kids on my back comfortably and with this I don't even feel like he's on me. If you do a search here on MDC you'll see UmmIbrahim has lots of info on chuneis.

I could never figure out or be comfortable in a wrap. Too overwhelming at a time when life itself is overwhelming, who needs that stress

Helping women overcome postpartum depression and birth trauma. http://www.postmommyhood.com

neveryoumindthere is offline  
#65 of 156 Old 12-02-2008, 02:41 PM
 
abber's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Posts: 63
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
So, yesterday Finn was super fussy and upset ALL DAY. He was awake from 9am to 10pm, with maybe 3 30 minute naps. It kind of drove me crazy, and the bf and his sister took care of him at night so I could destress. We think his fussiness might be caused by the thrush, since we tried treating him for gas and it didn't help much.
When he finally fell asleep, he SLEPT. we went to bed with him, and he woke up at 3am to make some noises and fell back asleep, then woke up demanding to feed at 5am! I was shocked he slept for so long, but I got a near full nights sleep so yay!
He ate a ton at 5am, then again at 8am and after he finished the second feeding, he promptly threw up most of the feeding all over me, the pillows, the bed and THE WALL and then SMILED : I cleaned us both up, and the second I put his arm into a new outfit, he threw up more! Twerp! I finally got him totally cleaned up and put him in his bed so I could do laundry, and he fell asleep on his own for the first time! He normally needs to nurse or at least be snuggled to sleep, which is sweet and I love it, but sometimes I need to put him down and take care of myself.

Pretty eventful day, and all before 9am. Oh boy.
abber is offline  
#66 of 156 Old 12-02-2008, 02:43 PM
 
Baby_Cakes's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: NJ
Posts: 9,884
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Wow! I had no idea that so many of you guys don't like wraps! I thought I was a total MDC reject!

So, Nora is 12 lbs! Holy crap! The ped also looked in her mouth and her diaper area - Nora does not have thrush or yeast. So, I'm back to square one. Why did my symptoms come back? I put a call into my midwife, I think I'm just going to have to refill the diflucan and keep doing the GSE on my nips every hour. I want this shit gone. I want to enjoy nursing and I want to enjoy Christmas. I don't want to deal with this anymore!!!

Right now I'm enjoying a nice everything bagel w/cream cheese and a cup of cinnamon hazelnut coffee with vanilla creamer. This coffee is delicious. It's like having the Christmas season all warmed up in a cup. I feel quite good today. I'm just going to run with it.

Carrie SAHM to Nora Caitlyn (5) and Finnley Dax (2) homebirthing, breastfeeding, babywearing, intactivist, doula mama!         
Baby_Cakes is offline  
#67 of 156 Old 12-02-2008, 04:08 PM
 
Changed's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Posts: 7,419
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Well, that is all good news!
Changed is offline  
#68 of 156 Old 12-02-2008, 04:31 PM
 
sonshine_rae's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: KC, MO
Posts: 855
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Okay.... I think I will try to re-calculate it to make sure my math is right but ummm girls?

I tried that PPD survey/questionaire thingie...... and I scored a 76???? eeksss

I already have an appointment to see my family doctor tomorrow to discuss my anti-depressant, but I didn't realize I might be this bad off .

Rae 27 DH Phillip 32 married 11-22-03
DS1 Nathaniel b. 11-21-04, DS2 Ian b. 9-8-06, DS3 Samuel b. 10-1-08, DS4 Peter b. 5-24-11
 

sonshine_rae is offline  
#69 of 156 Old 12-02-2008, 04:38 PM
 
Baby_Cakes's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: NJ
Posts: 9,884
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by sonshine_rae View Post
Okay.... I think I will try to re-calculate it to make sure my math is right but ummm girls?

I tried that PPD survey/questionaire thingie...... and I scored a 76???? eeksss

I already have an appointment to see my family doctor tomorrow to discuss my anti-depressant, but I didn't realize I might be this bad off .


We're here for you, if you need to talk/vent/anything.

I took the test again later and still scored higher than I was comfortable with, too. We'll get through this together, Mama.

Carrie SAHM to Nora Caitlyn (5) and Finnley Dax (2) homebirthing, breastfeeding, babywearing, intactivist, doula mama!         
Baby_Cakes is offline  
#70 of 156 Old 12-02-2008, 05:01 PM
 
sonshine_rae's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: KC, MO
Posts: 855
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Okay.... I printed it and very very carefully counted it (WHY don't they have it automated??!?).... and the actual count is 68.. but yeah still pretty high. And I did have a couple of red ones marked.

hmm do you girls think I should bring this survey thing in to my doctor's office? I always have trouble (especially when depressed) explaining what's going on once I get to the doc's office, it's easy to make light of things while there... sigh

Rae 27 DH Phillip 32 married 11-22-03
DS1 Nathaniel b. 11-21-04, DS2 Ian b. 9-8-06, DS3 Samuel b. 10-1-08, DS4 Peter b. 5-24-11
 

sonshine_rae is offline  
#71 of 156 Old 12-02-2008, 05:15 PM
 
TaraRae82's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Missouri
Posts: 4,396
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
What/where is this PPD questionaire you all refer to? I'm curious to see where I fall. I definitely have my bad moments and rough days and wonder if it's a light case of PPD. Like, I have fleeting thoughts during our bad evenings of wanting to lay Ally down in her crib (that has no mattress...sheesh) and just walk away but then I immediately feel incredibly guilty and just cuddle her tighter and always end up crying with her. I've tried to ignore it all because overall I feel really good but I hate to ignore even the little signs for fear that I'll ignore it into a more severe case.

I got a haircut today. It felt so good to get out of the house and see some familiar adults! I was tempted to start my Christmas shopping while we were out and Ally Rae was happy/sleeping in her Moby but I know one outing is enough for her and had we gone anywhere else our evening would've sucked royally. My normal stylist had her baby last Wed (hooray!) so I had to see a different gal but she did a surprisingly good job. I'll have to take some pics. DH and I have his company Christmas party to go to next Thurs so maybe I'll post pics from that since I'll be all dressed up instead of looking like a Mommy.
TaraRae82 is offline  
#72 of 156 Old 12-02-2008, 05:18 PM
 
sonshine_rae's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: KC, MO
Posts: 855
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Tara it's a sticky in the PPD forum here on mothering.com ....

but for ease of use I'll just link it here.. there may be others in our DDC who'd like to check it out too .

http://www.pndsa.co.za/symptom_checklist.html

Rae 27 DH Phillip 32 married 11-22-03
DS1 Nathaniel b. 11-21-04, DS2 Ian b. 9-8-06, DS3 Samuel b. 10-1-08, DS4 Peter b. 5-24-11
 

sonshine_rae is offline  
#73 of 156 Old 12-02-2008, 05:38 PM
 
TaraRae82's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Missouri
Posts: 4,396
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Thanks Rae. I took it and I'm comfortable with my score. It was much lower than I thought it'd be. I guess I'll just keep on the lookout for any change in my feelings. I think a lot of my issues right now are seeded in frustrations with DH. I need to just get it all in the open with him. I haven't talked to him much because I don't want him to feel bad or guilty and I don't know that there's anything he can do to make me feel better without me feeling guilty! I feel like I need more help in the evenings when she's fussy because I've been caring for her all day long. But, he's been working hard at the office all day and has a very stressful job and she doesn't want him when she's fussy and I don't do well hearing her fuss when someone else has her. It's a double-edged sword. *sigh* I could also use some help overnight but again, what can he do then?? I have the boobs! Plus, I don't have to get up in the morning (aside from Ally's demands) and can nap during the day with her and he has to get up early to get to the office for his meetings so I feel bad asking him to help when he needs his sleep. I feel guilty asking for any help because he works really hard to bring in our only income and it's a great income. I feel like that's his job. My job is to be Mommy. Although, just to play devil's advocate and talk this out outloud, I care for Ally Rae for probably 23 hours out of the day and would it be fair to ask him to help on the weekends even though that's his only opportunity to sleep in? I'm so torn and have no idea what's reasonable for me to ask of him. I wish he weren't so busy at work and could be home at a normal time instead of 8pm like it's been since she was born. I almost feel like a single parent who just happens to be married.
TaraRae82 is offline  
#74 of 156 Old 12-02-2008, 06:08 PM
 
heidirk's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: adrift in a basket...
Posts: 2,728
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Tararae- This was where I was after DS1 was born. And I have to tell you, you're only making it harder on yourself by not asking for help. Yes, your DH has been working too, but the work you're asking him to do is at least different from what he's been doing all day. The reason evening time is so rough, especially for a first time mom, or a fussy baby, is that by th time the ruckus starts, you've already been doing the same job for 20 hours. You really DO need a break. And he can help out for 20 mins at a time, they bneed time to learn each other, and the only way they can do that is to interact. Keep an eye on yourself. . .

soneshinerae
- BTDT- hope your visit with the doc goes well.

Carrie- Hey girl! Glad you're feeling a bit better today! Maybe you can take a picture of yourself, and post it on the fridge with the caption, 'Happy Day'. It would help you remember how good you can feel. I'm comeing over to share your coffee!


AAM- OK, squeaker is waking up, I think so this'll have to be fast. I have a HUGE sense of accomplishment today, and all I did was go grocery shopping! But I went to the bank, then the drive thru at McD's : then the Whole FOod store, then the regular Giant grocery store, and it all went so smoothly!!! But I got home, Milo is still sleeping, got the cold stuff put away, and got DS1 down for a nap, and now I have a few minutesd fopr myself!! The problem is I'm so wired I can't decide what I want to do!!

OK, squeaker resettled himself! Guess I'll curl up w/my book! wait, maybe I should put the chicken in the oven, no I should put the diapers in the wash, no I'll crochet instead. . . no, maybe. . . . :

computergeek2.gif  wife to bikenew.gif and momma to my intact boys headscratch.gif 06/19/06 and mischievous.gif 10/10/08 We delayed/selective vax; constantly wash.gif  always intactlact.gif

Niemals Gewalt
heidirk is offline  
#75 of 156 Old 12-02-2008, 06:14 PM
 
Amber Lion's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Oregon
Posts: 2,436
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by TaraRae82 View Post
I feel guilty asking for any help because he works really hard to bring in our only income and it's a great income. I feel like that's his job. My job is to be Mommy. Although, just to play devil's advocate and talk this out outloud, I care for Ally Rae for probably 23 hours out of the day and would it be fair to ask him to help on the weekends even though that's his only opportunity to sleep in? I'm so torn and have no idea what's reasonable for me to ask of him.
nak

I'm in the exact same boat as you Tara! I've no idea what is reasonable so end up not asking for help b/c I don't want to stress him out more and he needs down time too... but then I end up with no down time.

Mama to my Addie Bug wool.gif (10/2008) and angel1.gif (6/2010); nursing student & childbirth educator
Amber Lion is offline  
#76 of 156 Old 12-02-2008, 07:32 PM
 
neveryoumindthere's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Posts: 3,954
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
sonshine-rae, yes bring the questionnaire with you. That sounds exactly like me. There I was trying to explain my symptoms to the doctor and I couldn't even think straight.

s to everyone going through this. DO NOT wait to get help, in whatever form that may be.
Even if you have 'good days' that's the deception that is depression.
Take care of yourselves and keep posting.
I'm so glad I have my 'tribe' to turn to when I need it. IRL I'm pretty alone.

Helping women overcome postpartum depression and birth trauma. http://www.postmommyhood.com

neveryoumindthere is offline  
#77 of 156 Old 12-02-2008, 07:55 PM
 
crosscat's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Memphis
Posts: 1,398
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
^Not asking for help will only result in resentment and tension in the household - not good for baby or anyone else.

I'm adjusting to SAHMdom here, too. I think everyone's happier when I have the courage to ask crazy_bee to help out with some things. When he isn't working, we take turns on diaper duty. He does shopping and usually cooks (or picks up dinner). He participates in tummy time / play time and always wants some time each evening to just hold the baby. He assists with bath time and our burgeoning bed time routines.

Once it's bed time, he puts in ear plugs and I take over unless it's really rough and I absolutely need a break/help. That's rare; thank goodness she is a decent sleeper. I feel strongly that he needs his sleep for work the next day and nighttime parenting is mostly breastfeeding at this point anyway.

So DH does all of this and works a very demanding job, too. He never complains ever when I ask him to do something because he understands what a hard job SAHM can be and he loves opportunities to do stuff with Calla.

Don't hesitate to ask your DHs for help and find the right division of responsibilities that feels fair to BOTH of you. Remember guys can be clueless and not realize we need more from them unless we tell them.

Crazy_Bee (or any other dads): If you're lurking this thread and have anything to add from a new dad's perspective, please feel free to share your insights!
crosscat is offline  
#78 of 156 Old 12-02-2008, 08:02 PM
 
sonshine_rae's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: KC, MO
Posts: 855
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
neveryoumindthere sonshine-rae, yes bring the questionnaire with you. That sounds exactly like me. There I was trying to explain my symptoms to the doctor and I couldn't even think straight.

s to everyone going through this. DO NOT wait to get help, in whatever form that may be.
Even if you have 'good days' that's the deception that is depression.
Take care of yourselves and keep posting.
I'm so glad I have my 'tribe' to turn to when I need it. IRL I'm pretty alone.
Thanks for saying that about having 'good days' .... because that's part of what's thrown me off, sometimes things seem mostly okay? Other times they are horrendously out of control. Right now I'm half sick to my stomach, and somewhere between anxious/panicy..... yet the kids are all fine/calm.. there really is NO problem here????

Rae 27 DH Phillip 32 married 11-22-03
DS1 Nathaniel b. 11-21-04, DS2 Ian b. 9-8-06, DS3 Samuel b. 10-1-08, DS4 Peter b. 5-24-11
 

sonshine_rae is offline  
#79 of 156 Old 12-02-2008, 08:19 PM
 
neveryoumindthere's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Posts: 3,954
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
That's the comment that pushed me to FINALLY get help (like a year later!)

I just looked up the old post of mine from 2004 on the PPD board and this is what one poster said to me :One big thing is not to let the good days fool you. I know so many people who have a good day and think "see, I must be okay, I was just having a bad day (week, month.) Having good days with depression is normal, but somehow we always want to talk ourselves into thinking that the good days mean we are okay and overreacting to the bad days. Don't let the good days fool you.

and this:
What happened to me also was that I would be at my absolute worst in the morning. I would be a wreck. Then by the time the afternoon rolled around (and my dh got home) I could function a little bit better and would think, "well, maybe I am okay" and I would feel silly for how I had felt earlier. When I was admitted to the hospital, it was in the evening so I felt pretty silly at that point that my dh had taken me there. I kept thinking, "but I'll seem so normal now, they won't know how bad I was this morning." I told the ER doctor that and he told me that it is very common with depression for it to be at it's worst in the morning and to ease up a bit in the evening. Talk about an "ah ha" moment.

The thing that I realized after the fact when I was on meds and felt better, is that I had no idea just how bad I had gotten. What I thought were "good days" weren't even close to the good days that I had when I was healthy. They were just good in comparison to the bad days at the time.

Helping women overcome postpartum depression and birth trauma. http://www.postmommyhood.com

neveryoumindthere is offline  
#80 of 156 Old 12-02-2008, 08:52 PM
 
sonshine_rae's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: KC, MO
Posts: 855
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
hmm well part of my sickness is reality.... I seem to have diarrhea now. fun fun

Rae 27 DH Phillip 32 married 11-22-03
DS1 Nathaniel b. 11-21-04, DS2 Ian b. 9-8-06, DS3 Samuel b. 10-1-08, DS4 Peter b. 5-24-11
 

sonshine_rae is offline  
#81 of 156 Old 12-02-2008, 10:26 PM
 
OrchideZ's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Golden State
Posts: 1,182
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Amber Lion View Post
nak

I'm in the exact same boat as you Tara! I've no idea what is reasonable so end up not asking for help b/c I don't want to stress him out more and he needs down time too... but then I end up with no down time.
Amber and Tara, I am in the same boat as y'all too. I will say that my DH does like to take Jasper when he gets home b/c he misses him. Awww. He tries to help me in the evenings by letting me take a shower, sit on the computer, watch tv while he tends to poopy dipes and gives Jasper a bottle. (I highly recommend pumping a bottle a day so that your DH can help with feeding and to get this started before your baby reaches the point they won't accept anything but your bewb. It felt good last night when Jasper was fussing to know his daddy could handle him and he had a bottle to give him and I felt no guilt at relaxing.)
At nighttime, I do my best to let Matt sleep and I go out in the living room with the baby for changes and nursing. On the weekends, I try to let him sleep in b/c I know his sleep has suffered from hearing the baby cry during the week and getting up at 6:30.
I try to make a nice dinner for him if I can when he comes home each day. I feel guilty that he works so hard and is the bread winner.
((hugs)) to us all.

I want to say I am sorry I haven't been around.
I am still having home health nurses come to my place every day to clean and dress/drain my open wound/stitches from my c section. Its not infected and it is healing but damn, its been a month now of home health nurses and I am tired of being a shut-in for the most part.:
My wound was 5 1/2 cm in the beginning and now, its 1/2 a cm...yay!
I feel good though.
My 6 wk. post partum visit is this friday.
I also have a derm. appt. this thursday...been having this crazy itchy rash across my low stomach and hips and tops of breasts. I have no idea what it is but it feels like poison ivy.
Even Benedryl and hydrocortisone cream does very little. Anyone else hear of this or have this?

I see y'all are discussing baby wearing...I feel happy that Jasper likes being carried b/c I can't lift our heavy-assed car seat. Its a Peg Perego and is a ton o bricks. I am only supposed to carry the weight of the baby for now anyway.
We have an Ergo (for my DH) with infant insert, a Zolowear ring sling (Jasper is not too fond of the sling style it seems), a Moby-like wrap (he loves this! I think its worth it to learn how to get the baby settled in this b/c they will sleep for 2-3 hours in this. Jasper went to the movies with me- we saw Twilight at the Mommy & Me screening last week- and he slept in the wrap on me for 3 hours w/o a peep!) and I just got a Kozy Mei Tai he loves as well.
Here is him in the meitai...
http://i36.tinypic.com/do9c9l.jpg
http://i37.tinypic.com/35i38m0.jpg

I will try to come by more often. I missed you all.
Here are my favorite newer snaps of him...
http://i33.tinypic.com/25h33gj.jpg
http://i35.tinypic.com/2whp4zp.jpg
http://i34.tinypic.com/oktov8.jpg

He is such an expressive little boy. He loves to "read" his black and white board books, has such focus and when we say " I love you" to him, he tries to say something back that sounds like mutterings but is 3 syllables! He smiles so big when I sing to him too. Awww. Makes all of it worth it.

Happily married with two tots (babyboy.gif J 10/18/08) & (babygirl.gif T 5/03/10) 

OrchideZ is offline  
#82 of 156 Old 12-02-2008, 10:44 PM
 
TaraRae82's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Missouri
Posts: 4,396
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
^Thanks for the suggestions! I'm actually wanting Ally Rae to only accept my breast so pumping a bottle a day isn't an option for us. I'm definitely going to talk to DH about all of this when he gets back in town (business trip until Thurs night...ugh, I hate that he travels so much).

I do have to give him credit for the fact that he does ALL of the cooking and really enjoys trying and coming up with new recipes.

OrchideZ, those pics are a hoot!!! What a camera ham he is!
TaraRae82 is offline  
#83 of 156 Old 12-03-2008, 03:03 AM
 
mamanurse's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Not on MDC
Posts: 3,108
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Baby_Cakes View Post
Wow! I had no idea that so many of you guys don't like wraps! I thought I was a total MDC reject!

Right now I'm enjoying a nice everything bagel w/cream cheese and a cup of cinnamon hazelnut coffee with vanilla creamer. This coffee is delicious. It's like having the Christmas season all warmed up in a cup. I feel quite good today. I'm just going to run with it.
I hate wraps too Carrie and that coffee sounds damn good

Quote:
Originally Posted by sonshine_rae View Post
Okay.... I think I will try to re-calculate it to make sure my math is right but ummm girls?

I tried that PPD survey/questionaire thingie...... and I scored a 76???? eeksss

I already have an appointment to see my family doctor tomorrow to discuss my anti-depressant, but I didn't realize I might be this bad off .
Glad you're on it Rae! I hope you find a solution that works for you and we're all here to support you if needed.

Quote:
Originally Posted by TaraRae82 View Post
I feel like I need more help in the evenings when she's fussy because I've been caring for her all day long. But, he's been working hard at the office all day and has a very stressful job and she doesn't want him when she's fussy and I don't do well hearing her fuss when someone else has her. It's a double-edged sword. *sigh* I could also use some help overnight but again, what can he do then?? I have the boobs! Plus, I don't have to get up in the morning (aside from Ally's demands) and can nap during the day with her and he has to get up early to get to the office for his meetings so I feel bad asking him to help when he needs his sleep. I feel guilty asking for any help because he works really hard to bring in our only income and it's a great income. I feel like that's his job. My job is to be Mommy. Although, just to play devil's advocate and talk this out outloud, I care for Ally Rae for probably 23 hours out of the day and would it be fair to ask him to help on the weekends even though that's his only opportunity to sleep in? I'm so torn and have no idea what's reasonable for me to ask of him. I wish he weren't so busy at work and could be home at a normal time instead of 8pm like it's been since she was born. I almost feel like a single parent who just happens to be married.
Being a SAHM is one of the most difficult jobs around. You don't get periodic breaks during the day like you would at a "for money" job. When baby is asleep, you're probably doing housework or something homemakerish. Kinda like what I'm doing. If your dh needs a break in the evening, let him have one. Maybe being handed a baby right when he gets home isn't fair, but surely after dinner is eaten and he's had some time to wind down would be okay. His job at work is WAY different than taking care of Ally Rae and he definitely gets periodic breaks. Whether they're business lunches, dinners, or whatever they're still change from what he does all day. He also needs time to connect with his daughter even though mommy is probably who she wants.

Quote:
Originally Posted by crosscat View Post
So DH does all of this and works a very demanding job, too. He never complains ever when I ask him to do something because he understands what a hard job SAHM can be and he loves opportunities to do stuff with Calla.
Is it possible to clone your dh into a potion so I can sneek it into mine? Is he older (read more mature)? I find that the older dads do better with the whole assuming both "jobs" than the younger variety.

Quote:
Originally Posted by OrchideZ View Post
I want to say I am sorry I haven't been around.
I am still having home health nurses come to my place every day to clean and dress/drain my open wound/stitches from my c section. Its not infected and it is healing but damn, its been a month now of home health nurses and I am tired of being a shut-in for the most part.:
My wound was 5 1/2 cm in the beginning and now, its 1/2 a cm...yay!
I feel good though.
My 6 wk. post partum visit is this friday.
I also have a derm. appt. this thursday...been having this crazy itchy rash across my low stomach and hips and tops of breasts. I have no idea what it is but it feels like poison ivy.
Even Benedryl and hydrocortisone cream does very little. Anyone else hear of this or have this?
That sounds miserable. I'm glad your wound isn't infected and that it's healing so well. Hopefully you won't be homebound much longer.
mamanurse is offline  
#84 of 156 Old 12-03-2008, 03:06 AM
 
myrmom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2004
Posts: 1,278
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
OMG I got my ppd haircut today and man do I feel like a new woman!!! I suggest all you Mama's get something wonderful done for yourself!"!!
myrmom is offline  
#85 of 156 Old 12-03-2008, 02:07 PM
 
Changed's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Posts: 7,419
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Cute pics Orchidez!
Changed is offline  
#86 of 156 Old 12-03-2008, 02:35 PM
 
Faerieshadow's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: somewhere over the rainbow
Posts: 1,646
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by mamanurse View Post
Being a SAHM is one of the most difficult jobs around. You don't get periodic breaks during the day like you would at a "for money" job. When baby is asleep, you're probably doing housework or something homemakerish. Kinda like what I'm doing. If your dh needs a break in the evening, let him have one. Maybe being handed a baby right when he gets home isn't fair, but surely after dinner is eaten and he's had some time to wind down would be okay. His job at work is WAY different than taking care of Ally Rae and he definitely gets periodic breaks. Whether they're business lunches, dinners, or whatever they're still change from what he does all day. He also needs time to connect with his daughter even though mommy is probably who she wants.
That's exactly what I was going to say...

and as far as the weekend sleeping in thing, I fully believe in taking turns. Each of you should get one of the days to sleep in a little - just because you don't leave the house for your job doesn't mean you don't need some recuperating time too. And you know what.. sometimes it is just a case of, not who needs it, but who needs it the most at that particular time. DH and I have gotten pretty good at that. There are times I'm exhausted and cranky, but I know DH had several night calls at work and is dead on his feet, and that's when I cater to him a little. There are also plenty of times when he does the same for me even if he's exhausted.

Also, don't fall into the trap of not giving the baby to DH because she probably wants mama anyway - that will bite you in the behind down the road. With my first, my ex was working so much and going to school, so I was ds's everything. As he got older that became really difficult, up until he was about a year and a half he wouldn't go to anyone else but me for comfort, for bedtime, etc. Daddies definitely need time too, even now when the little ones don't do much.

Me: married to my :fireman Mama to my littles: Toby 8/04 and Elina 10/08
Faerieshadow is offline  
#87 of 156 Old 12-03-2008, 03:03 PM
 
crosscat's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Memphis
Posts: 1,398
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
mamanurse: I'd rent DH out if I didn't keep him so busy! We've been together since 1992, so we know each other really well. He may be older than some daddies; he's about to be 37. Not to take any credit away from him, because I do think he is flippin' awesome, but I give him opportunities to be awesome by letting him know what I need and how I feel. The fact that he listens and helps is all him.

OrchideZ Great to hear from you here. The pics are adorable! Hope your rash is better soon. I hear you on the Peg Perego being heavy!!! Try toting around a 14 pounder in there! Babywearing rocks.

I agree learning a wrap is worth it. I hated my moby at first and never used it. I watched vids on youtube and my doula helped me. Now it's my favorite to use, though I still love my babyhawk and I'm learning to love my peanut shell (got a friend bringing me a hotsling who's going to help me get the hang of pouches/slings).

AAM: Calla is getting so big (14.4 pounds yesterday), and strong (she holds her head up for really long periods of time), and cute (she initiates smiling/giggling sessions with me now instead of just returning smiles).

Nothing else to report here really. SSDD. I keep meaning to venture out of the house, but feel a bit intimidated by the weather, holiday shoppers, etc...
crosscat is offline  
#88 of 156 Old 12-03-2008, 03:31 PM
 
neveryoumindthere's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Posts: 3,954
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
So of course today I feel like crap and I feel like I need to head to the doctors for a thyroid test and ask for a rx of Zoloft. Ds was up sooo much last night and I got barely a couple hours of sleep altogether, not even consecutively (sp?)
I'm so exhausted and can't deal with my girls. I hate this house and how tiny it is. I hate how dh now tells me we are not moving when he could have told me MONTHS ago so I could stop stressing and searching for a place. I hate that my kids have no other kids around to play with. I hate living in timbucktoo with no transportation so I could *take* my kids somehwere to play. I hate how active my 3 yo is and feel so bad I have no way of taking her somewhere to get that energy out. I hate how mopey and "blase" my 5yo is(yes, she told me she feels blase and this is just a blase day) and I just can't deal with everyone's "issues"! and of course ds is crying yet again..

UGH

hope everyone has a better day than i am :

Helping women overcome postpartum depression and birth trauma. http://www.postmommyhood.com

neveryoumindthere is offline  
#89 of 156 Old 12-03-2008, 03:41 PM
 
sonshine_rae's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: KC, MO
Posts: 855
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Well girls I'm back from my appointment now.

I talked with my doctor, and had him read the ppd questionaire that I had printed out, and his eyebrows went up a bit, and he asked to copy it for himself even. He took things pretty seriously and put me on an additional anti-depressant that works differently then the one I've been on, so that together they would get me better. But he warned it would take a few days to work me onto this new med, and it wouldn't do anything but give me side effects at first (fun). But later it should help lift my moods and as he said 'tune me up' haha.

I had a really rough evening last night DH and I weren't getting along (rare for us) I think it was my depression and his having so much work here lately just not a good mix. I ended up bawling right along with the baby who was screaming his head off..... ugh!

Today I'm exhausted, and overwhelmed. I'm glad this appointment is over with, I was dreading it and had to force myself to go to it.... sigh it's just not something I like to 'deal with' of course .

I think I may be letting the kids watch movies today....>> I hate doing that but .... I'm not a very capable parent right now..... so it's better then getting mad at them or falling apart....

Rae 27 DH Phillip 32 married 11-22-03
DS1 Nathaniel b. 11-21-04, DS2 Ian b. 9-8-06, DS3 Samuel b. 10-1-08, DS4 Peter b. 5-24-11
 

sonshine_rae is offline  
#90 of 156 Old 12-03-2008, 03:42 PM
 
Amber Lion's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Oregon
Posts: 2,436
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I have to give my Dh some credit, he's been offering more and more help. He really loves interacting with Addie; he hates that he has to go off to work everyday and miss out on time with her. I think being a SAHM is just exhausting though, so even a little break doesn't seem like enough. He always takes her for a while when he gets home and will take her also when I ask him to; it just doesn't seem like a big enough break sometimes, especially after a trying day.

OrchideZ - so good to hear from you!! We've been talking about Dh giving her one feeding in the bottle in the evening, I think I'm going to suggest it again. She's gotten good with the bottle and I've got a little stash... there's no reason he can't take the midnight feeding (he stays up later than I do) and I can have a chance to sleep a bit more.

AAM: I've got a cold. : It's miserable trying to take care of someone else while you're sick; my first experience of Mommy sickdom! I don't know if Addie is feeling yucky too, or she's entering her 6 week growth spurt, or she's making up for being left last night... but she's being super clingy and fussy and nursing REALLY often. Doesn't make it easier when I've got a sore throat and a runny nose.

As for last night, it went really well! I only thought about turning back 1 million times the whole way to the concert (1.5 hrs away), but once I was there and called my doula (and was reassured that she was perfectly content) I felt better and enjoyed the evening. The music was AWESOME and it was fun to get out with just Dh and I for the first time since she was born. She apparently was a little darling, ate from the bottle like a champ, and passed out often. My boobs got super engorged though b/c I didn't realize how many batteries my pump needed so didn't pump the whole 6 hrs I was away... then she was asleep when we picked her up but I figured given the last time she ate she'd wake up pretty soon so I didn't pump when I got home either. Nope! We picked her up at midnight, she'd last eaten at 9:30... and she didn't wake up to eat until almost 5! Needless to say she was screaming in Dh's arms while I desperately tried to get my boob soft enough she'd be able to latch on.

Mama to my Addie Bug wool.gif (10/2008) and angel1.gif (6/2010); nursing student & childbirth educator
Amber Lion is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off