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#61 of 154 Old 12-09-2008, 12:49 PM
 
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((((hugs))))) Megan I hope you get the help you need for your baby..... reflux is soooo hard. My baby is now on two medications at once to help him with his.. and I think together they are finally getting him more comfortable! I hope the drive to see your DH goes well!

Rae 27 DH Phillip 32 married 11-22-03
DS1 Nathaniel b. 11-21-04, DS2 Ian b. 9-8-06, DS3 Samuel b. 10-1-08, DS4 Peter b. 5-24-11
 

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#62 of 154 Old 12-09-2008, 05:02 PM
 
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((((hugs))))) Tara I'm sorry your DH responded that way, did you already 'know' he doesn't agree with the way your raising Ally Rae? I hope you can work together to come to agreement, life will be soooo much better once you can understand and agree with each other.
No, I didn't know that he thinks I should change the way we're doing things. He supports me when anyone makes comments about it like with offering a paci, pumping and giving a bottle or making her sleep in her own bed. He so good about saying, "well, this is what works best for us and we feel is best for Ally." It makes me wonder if he really means it or if it's just so I don't get pissy at him in front of his family.

I did take the advice of giving him Ally Rae and leaving so he HAD to spend time with her though. He got home from his late meeting last night at about 9:30, changed clothes and actually took her from me to kiss her so I took advantage of that moment and said, "Oh, good, now I can go get some food!" He said ok so I grabbed my wallet and said, "Alright, I'll be back." He looked shocked. He said, "You're leaving?!" "Yes....I'm going to McDonalds (don't scold me for eating crap please...); I can only eat so many frozen dinners, it's quick, and I haven't eaten all day." So I left! YAY! I got back and they were fine so I ate and then intended to keep taking advantage and hop in the shower but no such luck. She was demanding "I want to nurse to sleep Mommy!" by the time I got done eating. So much for a shower. It was also 10:30 and I was tired and the minute she goes to sleep in the evening, I hit the sheets. But, it was a good step toward him helping more I think. I think I'm discovering it's just so frustrating to him that he can't (aka. hasn't figured out what works for him) soothe her. He made a comment last night to her, "Ally Rae, you're going to give Daddy a complex because I don't have the boob." How do I help him discover his own way of bonding and soothing her? The bouncing/moving combo that works SO well for me, doesn't really work for him because he won't do it long enough or bounce with enough "umph". He complains that his back hurts when he's trying to soothe her and all I feel like saying is, "Welcome to my world....now you know why I need some help!" I don't want to be bitchy or resentful anymore. It's a miserable place to be when you love the one you're resenting SO much.
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#63 of 154 Old 12-09-2008, 05:32 PM
 
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(((hugs Tara)))

I didn't read anything but Tara's and I really feel for you...I've been feeling this exact same way lately...sometimes I don't even want to stay home.

You did good though by just giving him Ally and leaving. I really think that some men need to be told what to do...we just need to make sure to do it in a tactful way.

I don't think we can really help them find their way....it's up to them. All we can do it support them and give them ideas which is usually based off of what we do. You're right though, what works for us doesn't always work for our DH's, vice versa.

This is still a new thing for him and he probably feels insecure about caring for her or meeting her needs.

My only suggestion is to plan ahead. The times that he is home set him up for care. When he gets home ask him to do what he needs to do for himself because after you are done nursing Ally you need to give her to him because you need....(insert need here).

In the morning on the weekends ask him what he has planned and when he gives his answer tell him what your plans are and that you'd like him to take Ally after a feeding before lunch, after lunch or whenever you need it.

I usually pick the mornings for things like this because that's when babies are happier and don't need the comfort nursing as much. If she has a good feeding you should be able to plan on her having her for an hour. I think sometimes leaving the house or not speaking is helpful because the babies know when you are there and will then want you. I just don't go further 5 min or so from home so I can return quickly in the even that the bottom drops out!
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#64 of 154 Old 12-09-2008, 05:55 PM
 
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Ah, from the post above I was trying to think of the word that was on the tip of my fingers....

It's delegate!

One new person brings so many more chores and activities that need to be done. Diapers need to be washed, switched over to the dryer, the bed sheets need to be changed because they got spit up all over, the dishes are still in the sink because the baby has been nursing for 3 hours! and so much more.

We have to delegate otherwise we get overwhelmed. It's like the manager that tries to do everything because he won't ask his employees to do something. But we also have to be careful not to micromanage otherwise our 'employee' will get pissed and then our b*tchy attitude continues.

So, right now I've got the delegating down, I just have to make sure I'm not micromanaging. I have to take the help and be happy with it until I have the time to do it myself.
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#65 of 154 Old 12-09-2008, 05:57 PM
 
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Thanks, Ladies.

Neveryoumind, the doctor wants to do an u/s to rule out pyloric stenosis because her vomiting is projectile. I'm trying to schedule that now with the hospital. If it's not that, then she said she'll start her on zantac. I hope it's not. There goes our plans to visit dh

Megan, momma to Colin and Ainsley
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#66 of 154 Old 12-09-2008, 06:19 PM
 
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hmm Tara I wonder if there has been some outside input that may have altered his opinion on things? It might be a good time to find some info supporting your style and having it prepared for him to read.... just do it in a gentle manner such as 'I found such and such and wondered what you think of it' ya know?

I do agree delegating is the way to do things.. and that was a smart move about going to get food the other day LOL! Though I would have picked burger king.. or back yard burgers hehe...

Megan .... I hope the doc is wrong.. Reflux is bad enough.. you don't want that other diagnosis!!

Rae 27 DH Phillip 32 married 11-22-03
DS1 Nathaniel b. 11-21-04, DS2 Ian b. 9-8-06, DS3 Samuel b. 10-1-08, DS4 Peter b. 5-24-11
 

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#67 of 154 Old 12-09-2008, 06:21 PM
 
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Carrie, I think you have it completely right. We need to ask for specific things and then be happy with however they get done instead of hovering making sure they're done our way!

Tara - I think the only way your Dh is going to discover what works for him is spending time with Ally where he can't just hand her to you when he gets frustrated. You sound like me, willing to sit and bounce on the birth ball for 1/2 hour if need be b/c you know eventually she'll be conked out and her fussing doesn't mean she needs anything other than to get to sleep. To Dh, 5 minutes on the ball meant she didn't like it and was hungry - time to pass her off to Mommy. So when I wasn't available he had to try something else... and something else... and something else until he found the thing he was willing to do that would also soothe her.

What exactly does he think you need to do differently with Ally? Put her down more? Let her cry? Does he even know or does he just have this vague idea that if you're burning out it must be the way you're parenting?

Many it sounds very hard to be in need of help from someone you love and to not receive it.

ETA: Forgot to mention that Addie is 11 lbs 3 oz at 6 weeks!!! Wooohooo!

Mama to my Addie Bug wool.gif (10/2008) and angel1.gif (6/2010); nursing student & childbirth educator
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#68 of 154 Old 12-09-2008, 06:43 PM
 
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[QUOTE=Amber Lion;12766523]Carrie, I think you have it completely right. We need to ask for specific things and then be happy with however they get done instead of hovering making sure they're done our way!

Tara - I think the only way your Dh is going to discover what works for him is spending time with Ally where he can't just hand her to you when he gets frustrated. You sound like me, willing to sit and bounce on the birth ball for 1/2 hour if need be b/c you know eventually she'll be conked out and her fussing doesn't mean she needs anything other than to get to sleep. To Dh, 5 minutes on the ball meant she didn't like it and was hungry - time to pass her off to Mommy. So when I wasn't available he had to try something else... and something else... and something else until he found the thing he was willing to do that would also soothe her.

EXACTLY!!!

What exactly does he think you need to do differently with Ally? Put her down more? Let her cry? Does he even know or does he just have this vague idea that if you're burning out it must be the way you're parenting?

He didn't give any specific examples but we all know how demanding AP can be. My guess is while he knows what we're doing is best, he thinks that's causing me all my stress. When I told him how miserably hard and uncomfortable it is for me to hear her fuss when someone else has her I know what she needs is to nurse and they won't give her back, he said, "well, that's not healthy for you to have her all the time." I didn't say all the time!! I said when she needs to nurse for whatever reason even if it's because she's tired of being held by people she's not as familiar with. UGH.
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#69 of 154 Old 12-09-2008, 06:56 PM
 
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To Dh, 5 minutes on the ball meant she didn't like it and was hungry - time to pass her off to Mommy. So when I wasn't available he had to try something else... and something else... and something else until he found the thing he was willing to do that would also soothe her.
This is so true! It's exactly what I was going to say. If you aren't around to "take over" then they have to figure out what to do on their own.

Tara, I really hope you and your DH find a middle ground. He needs to understand that just b/c you are frazzled doesn't mean you are doing things wrong or differently. Your parenting isn't a "style" -- it's the right way to parent. If he wants the best for his daughter then he needs to be part of the team.

Who wouldn't be frazzled after dealing with a baby 24/7? I mean, our husbands would go NUTS if they had to do that - I don't care if they had bottles galore to feed the baby. It's not just about having the ability to feed our babies that gets them to settle down. It's having the patience and willingness to do anything and everything to make sure they're comfortable and secure. Daddies can do that too, without using food.

AAM - We went on a car ride today down to my mw office and Mama got her IUD inserted! Huzzah! It didn't hurt at all, in fact, it hurt less than the pap did at the last visit. And now I'm good for 5 years. Yay.

Then Nora and I went to Whole Foods together, where she actually smiled at a few strangers which made my day! She usually cries when we try to shop. Then I knew we needed to go to Target for diapers, and I planned on going to the one by my house. But, I made a wrong turn, and as I was following the directions from the GPS, I saw a Target! So, we went to that one instead, and I was thrilled b/c she was still in a good mood.

My midwife called in a script for Jack Newman's Nipple Ointment for my thrush, thank goodness. Hopefully that does the trick. And the pharmacy is going to mail it to my house so I don't even have to go out!

Nora was talking so much in the car today. We have one of those little mirrors on the headrest so I can see her in my mirror, and it's got a monkey on the top. I swear she was having the best conversation with that monkey! I think I even heard her laugh!

Carrie SAHM to Nora Caitlyn (5) and Finnley Dax (2) homebirthing, breastfeeding, babywearing, intactivist, doula mama!         
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#70 of 154 Old 12-09-2008, 07:58 PM
 
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I agree that the Daddies need time with their babies in order to figure out what works for them, often times what works for Mama isn't received the same from Daddy .. and vice versa (my DH can get the babe to take a pacifier, or calm down at times when all he does is scream with me!). For me I often just go take a shower.. and DH knows to leave me alone in there unless something terrible is going on lol. Sometimes I'll leave the house for an hour.. maybe an hour and a half.. right after a feeding even. One time when I did that my DH said the baby cried nearly the whole time and he had to keep walking and soothing him the whole time. Ya know what I wasn't upset at all about missing that LOL.... he'd been that way all day, so at least I got a break from it!

Oh and about the 'who wouldn't be frazzled after dealing with a baby 24/7' thing.. I think my DH really gets this (after all it's our third time through it lol). Recently I asked him if he could imagine having to feed someone every two hours for most of the day (we might get one or two longer stretches).... and he was immediately shaking his head saying he couldn't. He often tells me he doesn't know how I keep going with as little sleep and as demanding as the care of our kiddos is.

Rae 27 DH Phillip 32 married 11-22-03
DS1 Nathaniel b. 11-21-04, DS2 Ian b. 9-8-06, DS3 Samuel b. 10-1-08, DS4 Peter b. 5-24-11
 

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#71 of 154 Old 12-09-2008, 08:03 PM
 
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Tell me about your car mirrors girls.... the one I had with my last kid I never liked much and for the life of me I can't find all the parts for it so I can't get it in there! We have a minivan and use a convertible carseat (not a bucket) if that matters any.

Rae 27 DH Phillip 32 married 11-22-03
DS1 Nathaniel b. 11-21-04, DS2 Ian b. 9-8-06, DS3 Samuel b. 10-1-08, DS4 Peter b. 5-24-11
 

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#72 of 154 Old 12-09-2008, 08:09 PM
 
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Tell me about your car mirrors girls.... the one I had with my last kid I never liked much and for the life of me I can't find all the parts for it so I can't get it in there! We have a minivan and use a convertible carseat (not a bucket) if that matters any.
I have an Eddie Bauer one that I don't like, it shifts too much, I always have to adjust it and usually once I'm in I don't feel like getting out to fix it :

Megan, momma to Colin and Ainsley
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#73 of 154 Old 12-09-2008, 08:15 PM
 
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^ Mine is Eddie Bauer too, and I don't like it. I can never get it tipped right so that I can see the baby. It's always too high and I can't get it right. That, and it's plastic - it's not even a real mirror. It's like a barbie mirror. It's a piece of crap, really. But Nora likes the monkey!

Carrie SAHM to Nora Caitlyn (5) and Finnley Dax (2) homebirthing, breastfeeding, babywearing, intactivist, doula mama!         
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#74 of 154 Old 12-09-2008, 08:32 PM
 
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nak

my mirror is eddie bauer too and i really like it but dh broke it over thanksgiving. : so i have to get a new one.

i have yet to find a baby mirror that isn't plastic. we don't use it for entertaining ally though....it's only so i can see her.

eddie bauer mirror
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#75 of 154 Old 12-09-2008, 08:43 PM
 
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This is the one I've got. I'm not super thrilled with it, but it works. Sometimes it slips and then it's a PITA to adjust b/c you have to be sitting in the seat position you'll be driving in... but have to go and change the mirror.. then go back and sit down and see if it's right. And the image is a little distorted b/c it's slightly curved b/c of the second way to attach it that I don't use and that just sits b/t it and the headrest. But like I said... it works and it was cheap and I needed one asap.

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#76 of 154 Old 12-09-2008, 09:11 PM
 
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Tara what part of it did he break? That's the mirror I have.... I don't have the little piece that cinches it tight on the back.. if he broke some other part of the mirror your welcome to what I have left lol.

Hmm Amber how does that one attach? And where did you buy it?

ETA: All the mirrors are plastic so that if your in a wreck it won't shatter and hurt your baby of course!.. But yeah they scratch so easily.. and if you try to clean them they just scratch even worse!

Rae 27 DH Phillip 32 married 11-22-03
DS1 Nathaniel b. 11-21-04, DS2 Ian b. 9-8-06, DS3 Samuel b. 10-1-08, DS4 Peter b. 5-24-11
 

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#77 of 154 Old 12-09-2008, 09:36 PM
 
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And to those with husband issues.. at least they're there Goin' it alone is not any fun.
I feel for you Megan. Having your husbandperson leave postpartum is certainly crappy at best. Even when mine is a %$#@head, I still remember that he's present and involved.

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No, I didn't know that he thinks I should change the way we're doing things. He supports me when anyone makes comments about it like with offering a paci, pumping and giving a bottle or making her sleep in her own bed. He so good about saying, "well, this is what works best for us and we feel is best for Ally." It makes me wonder if he really means it or if it's just so I don't get pissy at him in front of his family.
Maybe somebody at work or his parents are shedding their own opinion onto your dh regarding your parenting style. I'm thinking the in-laws may have said something to him after your most recent trip....

That's me, though, always blaming the in-laws. If he continues to express disapproval of the way you're parenting, maybe the two of you should sit down and talk about what he thinks might be best. There's no way my dh would've gone with following the AP Bible word for word. We do sort of a hybrid between mainstream adn AP. I had to play give and take with dh in order to make our parenting styles mesh instead of clash. There were certain things I wouldn't budge on such as CIO, BF'ing, and no spanking though. He also was adamant baby would not sleep in our bed past the age of 6 months. It was very important to him.

Congrats on going out alone. I'm glad your dh and Ally Rae got to spend some QT together.


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Who wouldn't be frazzled after dealing with a baby 24/7?

AAM - We went on a car ride today down to my mw office and Mama got her IUD inserted! Huzzah! It didn't hurt at all, in fact, it hurt less than the pap did at the last visit. And now I'm good for 5 years. Yay.
Me! I wouldn't be frazzled.... I'm mother of the frickin year. Just look on Wikipedia

Congrats on the IUD!!! Here's to nights of hot $ex uninhibited by ribbed condoms

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Tell me about your car mirrors girls.... the one I had with my last kid I never liked much and for the life of me I can't find all the parts for it so I can't get it in there! We have a minivan and use a convertible carseat (not a bucket) if that matters any.
I don't have a car mirror. Am I the only one. My LO cries most of the time anyway so I'm almost always assured she's alive.

AAM: Holiday shopping is done with a side of finished sauce. Dh goes back to work fully next week and I'm super duper excited. I can't wait to have his moody a$$ out of the house and off of dd1's case. He actually called her stupid yesterday and told her to shutup Mommy was crying after that and dh is in the doghouse. (For other reasons besides, but I won't digress. I promise)
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#78 of 154 Old 12-09-2008, 10:18 PM
 
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Tell me about your car mirrors girls.... the one I had with my last kid I never liked much and for the life of me I can't find all the parts for it so I can't get it in there! We have a minivan and use a convertible carseat (not a bucket) if that matters any.
i have 2 of these for teh kiddos and we use Blvds. I LOVE that i can see so much of them in teh mirrors. You do have to get used to them though. i have a Crossover and they are large, even in that vehicle.
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#79 of 154 Old 12-09-2008, 10:58 PM
 
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I don't have a car mirror. Am I the only one. My LO cries most of the time anyway so I'm almost always assured she's alive.
^^That

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AAM: Holiday shopping is done with a side of finished sauce. Dh goes back to work fully next week and I'm super duper excited. I can't wait to have his moody a$$ out of the house and off of dd1's case. He actually called her stupid yesterday and told her to shutup Mommy was crying after that and dh is in the doghouse. (For other reasons besides, but I won't digress. I promise)
to your dd. My 5 yo is soooo sensitive I think that would have thrown her into some major depression.

I hear ya on having dh out of the house. In a way it is nice sometimes, but only in (very)small doses.

and speaking of the doghouse, did anyone see this :

Helping women overcome postpartum depression and birth trauma. http://www.postmommyhood.com

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#80 of 154 Old 12-10-2008, 03:44 AM
 
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and speaking of the doghouse, did anyone see this :
Awesome. I sent dh there tonight. The video on that site is hilarious. Dh got a kick out of it.
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#81 of 154 Old 12-10-2008, 01:10 PM
 
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I don't have a car mirror. Am I the only one. My LO cries most of the time anyway so I'm almost always assured she's alive.
I dont' have a mirror either but I might get one if it helps with the crying. G man doesn't just cry he SCREAMS while in the carseat! O.M.G.! This started from the beginning but has gotten worse and more frequent now that he is older. I have to leave the house at least twice a day to get my kids to school and pick them up again. It's about 20 minutes round trip but usually he's screaming the entire time. I've never had this problem with my other kids, they always passed out in the carseat. If i'm lucky I can time it so he is tired and will sleep (usually our morning trip). The afternoon, no way....screams everytime. I make sure he has a clean diaper, is fed, and not too hot or cold...nothing works. Not even the kids talking to him in the car. Any one have any suggestions? I hope he'll outgrow it! ugh!

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#82 of 154 Old 12-10-2008, 01:39 PM
 
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I don't have one either. I'm always asking DS or DD to check on the baby while I drive. Don't hate me but the answer is usually "he's sleeping". He screamed for the second time in the car last night and DD was completely panicking.... I ended up having to talk her down while baby cried. I'm not sure what she thought would happen if he cried but that should tell you how often she's actually heard it. Not that it's not terrible but what can I do yk?
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#83 of 154 Old 12-10-2008, 03:22 PM
 
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OMG Mommas, I don't know who is more traumatized, me or Addie after last night!! She CRIED! I know lots of you have babies who are criers for one reason or another, but (don't hate me) Addie has never let out more than one wail to let me know she needed something RIGHT NOW - other than when she got her heel pricked for the newborn screening. She cried for 1/2 hour straight - the most pitiful, desperate cries - in the carseat. I swear, I'm never leaving the house again! My poor little girl who has always had Momma or Daddy right there immediately to respond to her before she has a chance to cry was stuck in her carseat alone and I couldn't do anything but barely reach the top of her head and sing/talk to her as I tried not to kill us speeding home. Which did nothing; she just kept crying in this bewildered "Where is Mommy and why isn't she doing anything?" way.

It was a very bad end to a rough night. Dh called and said I should come down and have dinner at our friends' house. Ok, sounds fun. She slept the whole way down there... but then I get there I find out it's not just dinner with friends, it's a holiday dinner party. : With screaming 2 year olds. : I spent the first 1.5 hours trying to calm Addie enough to sleep in an upstairs bedroom, but every time she was finally asleep another shrieking fest would erupt downstairs and she'd bolt awake. : So after a mini fight with Dh who, in problem solving mode, decides "Fine. We'll just leave.", I give up and go back downstairs and just hold her while she's staring around blankly she's so tired. Which she just got more and more tired until we finally left... and then screamed the whole way home. As soon as I got her out of the carseat she stopped crying and just stared at me in this "Where WERE you" way and nursed for a LONG time and then passed out in my arms.

I really am never going anywhere again unless there's someone else in the car or she's already sleeping when I get her in there. How on earth do people do this?!

Mama to my Addie Bug wool.gif (10/2008) and angel1.gif (6/2010); nursing student & childbirth educator
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#84 of 154 Old 12-10-2008, 03:44 PM
 
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Hi Everyone! So glad to be able to keep in touch with a lot of you through Facebook. Sometimes I find it so hard to keep up with the thread on MDC. I have a quick question and please don't flame me if this is a awful, horrible thing to do.

DH has his Christmas party the night of the 19 and we are planning on going. My Mom is coming up to babysit. Problem is is that I EBF Charlotte. We are not planning on going for long. The party starts at 6 pm and ends at about 1 am. We are just going for the dinner which will end at 8:30 pm. I am planning on nursing Charlotte right before we go for as long as I can and hopfully put her to sleep. I'm just worried that she will wake up hungry while I am gone even though it will only be for less than three hours. Here's my problem...Charlotte always goes to bed at 7 pm and nurses for about an hour before that. We have to leave the house by 6 pm. My plan is to wake her up (horrible I know) at 4 pm and start nursing her at 5:30 and hopefully she will sleep until we get home. But the thoughts of being away from her and her possibly being hungry makes me sick. Would it be horrible to leave a bottle for her with just water in it? or would leaving a soother be better? As I said, I'm not going to be gone for long but the timing of our leaving is just crappy. I don't own a pump or I would pump some breast milk and problem solved. Plus, I don't really want to rent a pump just for one night as we don't often go out as just a couple so this won't be an issue for the future. Would leaving a bottle of water be an option or is that horrible to do? I guess I should mention that when she nurses before her bed time for the hour, she is mostly just comfort nursing. She ends up getting way too much milk and gags through most of the nursing session

And I just thought of this but how hard is it to hand express milk into a bottle? Do you think I would be able to get enough?

Please bear with me as I have never pumped and have EBF all three of my kids and this is the first time us going out has ever been an issue!
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#85 of 154 Old 12-10-2008, 03:50 PM
 
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^Try hand expressing. I can get at least 1 oz doing that if need be. Don't give her water! If she is hungry she needs food. I'd honestly give an ounce or 2 of formula over even thinking about water.

Em - So sorry about that awful car ride. Honestly, the car is the only time Nora gets a paci. It calms her down and puts her to sleep.

Carrie SAHM to Nora Caitlyn (5) and Finnley Dax (2) homebirthing, breastfeeding, babywearing, intactivist, doula mama!         
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#86 of 154 Old 12-10-2008, 03:52 PM
 
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Aw Em It happens to us all at some point. Try not to beat yourself up about it. She knows she's loved. She may never do that again... you just never know.
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#87 of 154 Old 12-10-2008, 04:25 PM
 
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Whoa this thread is overwhelming!

Re Carseat Mirror: I don't have one either. My SIL recently completed her car seat inspector (or whatever it's called) certification and she advised me against getting one because if you're in an accident, the mirror could hit the baby. Also, it can be quite a distraction when you're driving.

That said, I regret not having one when she is too quiet back there, or if I think I hear a funny noise, or if she is screaming her head off. Luckily she usually just sleeps in the carseat.

I hope everyone is doing well. I don't have much time to respond to everyone, but I'm reading and thinking about you all.

AAM: DH is home sick with a stomach virus. I'm really afraid that Calla will catch it. I have him quarantined in another room. I hope he's feeling better soon and that Calla doesn't catch it. Me neither, I suppose!

I was afraid she was sick because she didn't sleep as well as usual last night. She was also rather fussy and needy this morning (probably because she was sleepy). I took her temp and she started clowning and grinning at me. She's fine. Just being a baby, I suppose.

I had my PP appt yesterday and that went well. It was so nice to see my ped. Seeing her reminded me of that happy day when Calla was born and everything went perfectly.

Tomorrow Calla has her two month check up. Time flies. Looking forward to learning her "official" weight. She's over 15 pounds on my bathroom scales. What an oinker she is!

Well I better try to get some chores done now that she's napping. The front of the house looks like a tornado hit the North Pole as the result of my tree trimming efforts.
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#88 of 154 Old 12-10-2008, 04:26 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Orionbelt View Post
Hi Everyone! So glad to be able to keep in touch with a lot of you through Facebook. Sometimes I find it so hard to keep up with the thread on MDC. I have a quick question and please don't flame me if this is a awful, horrible thing to do.

DH has his Christmas party the night of the 19 and we are planning on going. My Mom is coming up to babysit. Problem is is that I EBF Charlotte. We are not planning on going for long. The party starts at 6 pm and ends at about 1 am. We are just going for the dinner which will end at 8:30 pm. I am planning on nursing Charlotte right before we go for as long as I can and hopfully put her to sleep. I'm just worried that she will wake up hungry while I am gone even though it will only be for less than three hours. Here's my problem...Charlotte always goes to bed at 7 pm and nurses for about an hour before that. We have to leave the house by 6 pm. My plan is to wake her up (horrible I know) at 4 pm and start nursing her at 5:30 and hopefully she will sleep until we get home. But the thoughts of being away from her and her possibly being hungry makes me sick. Would it be horrible to leave a bottle for her with just water in it? or would leaving a soother be better? As I said, I'm not going to be gone for long but the timing of our leaving is just crappy. I don't own a pump or I would pump some breast milk and problem solved. Plus, I don't really want to rent a pump just for one night as we don't often go out as just a couple so this won't be an issue for the future. Would leaving a bottle of water be an option or is that horrible to do? I guess I should mention that when she nurses before her bed time for the hour, she is mostly just comfort nursing. She ends up getting way too much milk and gags through most of the nursing session

And I just thought of this but how hard is it to hand express milk into a bottle? Do you think I would be able to get enough?

Please bear with me as I have never pumped and have EBF all three of my kids and this is the first time us going out has ever been an issue!
Don't give the baby water. That can be dangerous.
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#89 of 154 Old 12-10-2008, 04:46 PM
 
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Don't give the baby water. That can be dangerous.
See...that is why I love these boards. I know how to breast feed but anything to do with pumping or giving bottles I have no idea. Thanks guys!

I think that I will hand express and see how much I can get if I decide to go. Dh really wants to go but the thoughts of being away from her makes me so upset.
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#90 of 154 Old 12-10-2008, 05:21 PM
 
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OMG Mommas, I don't know who is more traumatized, me or Addie after last night!! She CRIED! I know lots of you have babies who are criers for one reason or another, but (don't hate me) Addie has never let out more than one wail to let me know she needed something RIGHT NOW - other than when she got her heel pricked for the newborn screening. She cried for 1/2 hour straight - the most pitiful, desperate cries - in the carseat. I swear, I'm never leaving the house again!
I really am never going anywhere again unless there's someone else in the car or she's already sleeping when I get her in there. How on earth do people do this?!
Unfortunately, it's not an option for me to not leave my house. I just deal with the crying I have to take dd1 to preschool and I also feel it's important to get out of the house for my own well being. I'd rather have her cry for 10 minutes to get to a store, coffeeshop, knit circle, whatever than stay shut in my home all day. Plus... she cries for a little bit at night anyway for no apparent reason so I'm kinda used to the pitiful sound. She's fed, clean, burped, and held yet she cries . Both my girls have done this at night at this age, but Hazel does it far less often and for shorter amounts of time.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Orionbelt View Post
DH has his Christmas party the night of the 19 and we are planning on going. My Mom is coming up to babysit. Problem is is that I EBF Charlotte. We are not planning on going for long. The party starts at 6 pm and ends at about 1 am. We are just going for the dinner which will end at 8:30 pm. I am planning on nursing Charlotte right before we go for as long as I can and hopfully put her to sleep. I'm just worried that she will wake up hungry while I am gone even though it will only be for less than three hours. Here's my problem...Charlotte always goes to bed at 7 pm and nurses for about an hour before that. We have to leave the house by 6 pm. My plan is to wake her up (horrible I know) at 4 pm and start nursing her at 5:30 and hopefully she will sleep until we get home. But the thoughts of being away from her and her possibly being hungry makes me sick. Would it be horrible to leave a bottle for her with just water in it? or would leaving a soother be better? As I said, I'm not going to be gone for long but the timing of our leaving is just crappy. I don't own a pump or I would pump some breast milk and problem solved. Plus, I don't really want to rent a pump just for one night as we don't often go out as just a couple so this won't be an issue for the future. Would leaving a bottle of water be an option or is that horrible to do? I guess I should mention that when she nurses before her bed time for the hour, she is mostly just comfort nursing. She ends up getting way too much milk and gags through most of the nursing session

And I just thought of this but how hard is it to hand express milk into a bottle? Do you think I would be able to get enough?

Please bear with me as I have never pumped and have EBF all three of my kids and this is the first time us going out has ever been an issue!
Personally, I wouldn't leave my baby for a party at this point. I feel that an EBF infant at her age should be allowed anywhere her mom is. If you're not going to take her with you (and I don't think you're a bad mom for not just for the record), then try hand expressing after feedings for the 4 or 5 days leading up to the party. Your bm will be good in the refrigerator and that will be enough for a bottle hopefully. The only other problem I foresee is that Charlotte might not take a bottle at all since it sounds like one hasn't been introduced. You might think about introducing one this weekend just to ensure your mom won't have a screaming infant plus your other kiddos on her hands.

Already been said, but PSA: Formula is ALWAYS better than water for a baby. Babies don't need water until they start solids and giving water to an infant can start an electrolyte imbalance that can endanger their life.

Quote:
Originally Posted by crosscat View Post
Whoa this thread is overwhelming!

Re Carseat Mirror: I don't have one either. My SIL recently completed her car seat inspector (or whatever it's called) certification and she advised me against getting one because if you're in an accident, the mirror could hit the baby. Also, it can be quite a distraction when you're driving.

That said, I regret not having one when she is too quiet back there, or if I think I hear a funny noise, or if she is screaming her head off. Luckily she usually just sleeps in the carseat.

I hope everyone is doing well. I don't have much time to respond to everyone, but I'm reading and thinking about you all.

AAM: DH is home sick with a stomach virus. I'm really afraid that Calla will catch it. I have him quarantined in another room. I hope he's feeling better soon and that Calla doesn't catch it. Me neither, I suppose!

I was afraid she was sick because she didn't sleep as well as usual last night. She was also rather fussy and needy this morning (probably because she was sleepy). I took her temp and she started clowning and grinning at me. She's fine. Just being a baby, I suppose.

I had my PP appt yesterday and that went well. It was so nice to see my ped. Seeing her reminded me of that happy day when Calla was born and everything went perfectly.

Tomorrow Calla has her two month check up. Time flies. Looking forward to learning her "official" weight. She's over 15 pounds on my bathroom scales. What an oinker she is!

Well I better try to get some chores done now that she's napping. The front of the house looks like a tornado hit the North Pole as the result of my tree trimming efforts.
Your girly is such a chunk! I'll feel bad for you when she's 20# at 6 months. It's hard to heft around such a big baby. I hope Bill :Pukeis feeling better soon. Stomach bugs are MISERABLE. My tip is to wash your hands religiously and sanitize all faucets, doorknobs, and counters. Most stomach bugs are trasmitted via the fecal-oral route.
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