When are you planning your next baby? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 45 Old 12-22-2008, 01:55 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I'm not ready to have another baby and dh thinks we're "done," but I was wondering what others in our DDC had in mind for their families. Are you planning on having more children? If you are, will you let nature take its course and let pregnancy happen when it naturally would? Do your and your dp/dh share the same thoughts on expanding or not expanding your families?

It's really difficult for me to imagine not having more children. I have a secret plot to get pregnant. Well... It's not too secret as dh is pretty aware of it.
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#2 of 45 Old 12-22-2008, 02:42 PM
 
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Well we've always talked about having 3-4 kids..... and I 'think' we both would like a 4th... and somedays I say 'at least another one' ... but other days I think I'm crazy to think I could handle another kid LOL!

But I love love love to be pregnant (even if it hurts, and is difficult, it's just such an amazing experience)... and birth is a neat thing too (ditto).. and I love the breastfeeding experience (ditta again lol).

I have a terrible time imagining EVER ending our fertility..... Sigh... I don't know what will happen. Since I tend to get PPD ... I suppose we won't keep having kids forever.. but maybe another one or two lol.....

ETA: lol I guess I didn't answer the original question. I would like to make it to three years this time between kids.... but so far I have made it 21 months, and 24 (almost 25) months lol.... so who knows if we can space them that far. We do 'try' to prevent for at least the first year or more.

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#3 of 45 Old 12-22-2008, 02:53 PM
 
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IF we decide to have another, it will be in 4-5 years. I love that my girls are so close in age, but it's not easy by any means. Plus I think I'd like for them to understand the experience of pregnancy/baby a little more- dd1 was pretty much oblivious to my pregnancy, and could care less that she has a baby sister. And it would be nice to have the girls at an age where they could "help" a little more.

I've always pictured myself with three, but pregnancy and m/s is really, really hard on me. I don't know if I can put myself and my family through that again. But DH and I have decided to wait a few years and then talk about it before making any permanant fertility decisions.
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#4 of 45 Old 12-22-2008, 03:05 PM
 
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nak
I said I only wanted one, but if we get pregnant again, I'd not be upset. We don't do much to prevent pregnancy really, so I guess it's always a possibility.

If I had been interested in becoming a parent when I was younger (I'm 35), I'd say I would ideally want a 4-5 year space between two siblings. I just wasn't in a good place to be a mother in my twenties and early thirties, though, so that sort of plan isn't likely for me now. I know having a baby at 40 is not a big deal, but I don't see myself doing it.

DH is very happy with one, but I think he'd love more; probably up to three.

I loved being pregnant, it was an easy pregnancy, had an awesome birth experience, and I'm loving being a mother, so to have more is tempting. Also, I'm very drawn to adoption. I'm just not planning on more babies. If it happens, it's meant to be and I'll be thrilled to experience it all again.

I reserve the right o change my mind!
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#5 of 45 Old 12-22-2008, 03:06 PM
 
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I think I could be done, but I bet we will have 2 more in about 4 years.

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#6 of 45 Old 12-22-2008, 03:53 PM
 
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Ha, ha, our PLAN...

is to have one more, when I'm done with nursing school, which would give a 3-4 year age gap.

There are so many reasons why this might not actually happen. 1) Dh is being a turd about birth control and I'm being lazy - I don't want to use anything else other than Fertility Awareness but it's hard to check my cervix when I'm going to the bathroom holding Addie and Dh hasn't pulled out when I thought he was going to; 2) I'm applying for the nursing program this spring, which if I get in, great, but the programs are so impacted that even with my 4.0 gpa there's only a very small chance I'll actually get in and then there goes our preferred age gap OR trying to deal with pg and a newborn in the middle of the program; 3) Dh has been talking about how one might just be enough.

I really don't *want* to get pregnant when the universe decides, but that may actually be the better course if I actually want to have a second. Just please, not within the next year, and preferrably could my fertility hold off for 3 years please?

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#7 of 45 Old 12-22-2008, 04:07 PM
 
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we are 95% sure we are done but only time will tell for sure.
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#8 of 45 Old 12-22-2008, 04:10 PM
 
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Right now I can't really get my mind around doing this again. Pregnancy and labor were so difficult for me that I think if we do have another it will be b/c DH wants to (as in, he will be the one to bring it up, not me).

It won't be any sooner than 3 years down the line though, preferably in 5 years. DH and I are definitely on the same page as far as waiting that long for the next one, but I think he wants 3 kids and I'm not even sure I want 2. Only time will tell (and we aren't using NFP so the decision will definitely be a deliberate one).

Carrie SAHM to Nora Caitlyn (5) and Finnley Dax (2) homebirthing, breastfeeding, babywearing, intactivist, doula mama!         
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#9 of 45 Old 12-22-2008, 04:40 PM
 
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Dh wants no more.. he didn't want a second Right now I don't want anymore, but I don't know how much of that is just stress about our current situation (and yet another newborn period spent alone). IF there's another, it'll probably no be planned, and I'm sure I'd be happy, but I hope IF that happens, it's in like 4-5yrs when dh is out of the Navy and ds and dd are a older. If, if, if!

Megan, momma to Colin and Ainsley
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#10 of 45 Old 12-22-2008, 04:49 PM
 
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The one I'm cradling in my leg right now is supposed to be our last, but until the vasectomy is complete, I suppose nothing is permanent. Although I guess since there is no action here, we don't really have to worry.

I've always wanted three, but DH seems a little indifferent to this baby, just as he was with DD, but he now adores her, so now we have him. DH wants another girl, but I think he wants me back too. I'm 36, so my fertility may be fleeting too, since my grandmotherwho I'm physically similar to, went through menopause @35, & my period was super irreg. prior to this preg.

That said,I'd love to go through labor & delivery again, & most of pregnancy.
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#11 of 45 Old 12-22-2008, 05:18 PM
 
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Well, we were going to start 'trying' again when Calli turned 2 BUT, DH pulled a surprise move....or didn't pull, I should say. I haven't got my first PP period yet but I have had high temps, cravings for shrimp and yesterday after carrying Calli in her carseat I had some light pink spotting on the TP once when I wiped. Last night I had brown tinged mucous. ALL of these things happened when I was pregnant with Calli soooooo. Our plan may just be screwed up LOL.

Jaclyn, Madly in with DH, Scott. Mama to Calli Elizabeth (23 months) & our new little man, Bode Keam (9 weeks).
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#12 of 45 Old 12-22-2008, 05:19 PM
 
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we would like another and i am 38 now so hopefully, i will be pregnant again in a year!
ps excuse my lower caps as i am bf-ing and only hv one hand.

Happily married with two tots (babyboy.gif J 10/18/08) & (babygirl.gif T 5/03/10) 

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#13 of 45 Old 12-22-2008, 06:31 PM
 
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LOL, no one cares about your lowercase OrchideZ, we've all been there!

I am one of those people who don't plan. We are completely (as we almost always have been) about letting things be and knowing God is in charge. I would love have more kids, but I also realize that this may be my last.
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#14 of 45 Old 12-22-2008, 06:38 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by trimestersdoula View Post
Well, we were going to start 'trying' again when Calli turned 2 BUT, DH pulled a surprise move....or didn't pull, I should say. I haven't got my first PP period yet but I have had high temps, cravings for shrimp and yesterday after carrying Calli in her carseat I had some light pink spotting on the TP once when I wiped. Last night I had brown tinged mucous. ALL of these things happened when I was pregnant with Calli soooooo. Our plan may just be screwed up LOL.
Ooooh! That'd be so exciting! (at least for me )

Thanks for replying ladies. I'm really sad dh doesn't want another. I don't think I can say I'm done. I REALLY, REALLY, REALLY want another baby. My ideal time to start trying would be when Hazel is 2, but since I'm trying to foil dh anytime will do

We're "using" condoms. I've put the responsibility all on dh. Even said "If you don't put one on, I might get pregnant." He has yet to put one on and we've DTD every night since we started up again Probably the LAM will protect us for awhile.
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#15 of 45 Old 12-22-2008, 07:54 PM
 
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I am soooo nervous right now. I would love to have another baby, whether it be now or later but I am nervous because I would have to have another c/s. That scares the heck out of me.

Jaclyn, Madly in with DH, Scott. Mama to Calli Elizabeth (23 months) & our new little man, Bode Keam (9 weeks).
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#16 of 45 Old 12-22-2008, 07:54 PM
 
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We will be preventing (condoms and FA) for now and will start trying again in 2-3 years. I used to didn't think it would be a big deal if we happened to get pregnant soon after the first, but I know now that it would be best for my sanity to wait a couple of years.

Jessi wife of mama to Lil D (10/08)
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#17 of 45 Old 12-22-2008, 08:16 PM
 
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Nevah!!!!! So done. Soooooooo done.
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#18 of 45 Old 12-22-2008, 08:34 PM
 
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As far as hubby is concerned "WE'RE DONE! NO MORE!" But I'm like "We'll see..." I'm not 100% sure that I don't want another, but 2 seems like a good number to me right now. I'm not going to rule out anything quite yet.

Amy Lynn, Loving wife stillheart.gifand mom to 3 sweethearts. Christopher (8/06), Katherine (10/08), and Matthew (09/11).  2 time VBAC Momma and NCB & BFing advocate.

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#19 of 45 Old 12-22-2008, 08:44 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Nevah!!!!! So done. Soooooooo done.


My main reason for not wanting to get preggo before 2 years is I REALLY want Hazel to have an opportunity to nurse without outside interferences that long.
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#20 of 45 Old 12-23-2008, 12:00 AM
 
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ASAP. But it took us 6 years to get pregant this time. We really want 4-5 kids but will probably adopt a couple.

Surviving sleep deprivation one day at a time with dd (Oct '11) & ds (Oct '08).

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#21 of 45 Old 12-23-2008, 12:11 AM
 
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I originally wanted to have a lot of kids (we currently have 3)...While pregnant with ds this time around I really truly felt a feeling of being 'done' and never wanting to go through this again. Fast forward to my labour, REALLY had a feeling of never doing it again, but realized that was not the best time to make such a decision
Now that ds is here, I still feel like Im' done. But I'm sad about it. I just don't think I can handle PPD again and all the other health issues that come with it. After both my dds it took 2 years to semi-recover and by that time I was pregnant again. sigh

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#22 of 45 Old 12-23-2008, 02:43 AM
 
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Originally Posted by mamanurse View Post
Probably the LAM will protect us for awhile.
What does LAM mean?

We want two or three, and I'm a planner, so I've decided we'll start trying again in June 2010. 2.5-3 years apart is ideal for me. Although sometimes, when Carolyn's had a good day, I start thinking about trying sooner.

SAHM to DD1 9/18/08 DS 6/11/10 DD2 6/21/12 nocirc.gifcd.gifgreenthumb.gifhang.gif 

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#23 of 45 Old 12-23-2008, 03:42 AM
 
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What does LAM mean?
LAM stands for Lactional Ammenhorrhea Method (I can't spell that word starting with A, lol). It's part of FAM (Fertility Awareness Method), and it's a very effective form of BC for the first 5-6 mths PP providing you meet certain requirements.

Off the top of my head:
BFing at least every 4hrs during the day and 6hrs at night
supplementing no more than 15% (bottles/pacis/swings etc)
no bleeding after 56 days/8 weeks PP

I am sure I am missing something, but it has a 2% pregnancy rate.


As for us, well, we'd like another two, but I'd like AF to hold off for at least 18mths this time so I'm not even tempted. I would like to wait a year after DS2 self weans so I can do a major detox, have my almalgam fillings removed and some other stuff. So I guess that's looking like 2012ish? I also want to adopt, so we may not have another pregnancy. That makes me sad, because I love being pregnant, and though intense and anything but peaceful, most women wouldn't complain about super quick labors.

But all that to say, right now, I am still dealing with the emotional trauma from being separated from my baby for over an hour while I was stitched (apprentice mw stitched me and took forever, baby was 2.5 hours old by the time I was all stitched and showered) - the whole reason I wanted a hb was so I wouldn't be separated from my baby, and though he was with DH the entire time, I guess the natural high had worn off by the time they were done.

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#24 of 45 Old 12-23-2008, 03:58 AM
 
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i am terrified of getting pregnant soon after this one.
i got an IUD put in last tuesday. we got pregnant with Miles on the first month we tried, having only DTD ONCE! i am a fertile myrtle (my mother didnt plan any of us and was on birth control - needless to say, i am one of 6 kids!)

no more right now - we live in a cottage, have no money, and this is one high needs kid!

i want 2, DH wants 3. I think we will have two naturally, and then if we are in a good place financially, we will adopt a 3rd down the line.

i will likely leave the IUD in for 2.5 years, and start trying in spring 2010. DH wants them a bit closer, but thats because he is 36 and uneccesarily paranoid about being an "old" dad...
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#25 of 45 Old 12-23-2008, 11:19 AM
 
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Bella, I feel traumatized by Ainsley's super speedy birth as well, and it's the main reason I do not want anymore. I don't want a c/s, and her birth was so intense.. and there's not other exit, so.. no more kids? I heard quick labors were the way to go, but I think going from not knowing you're in labor to a baby 2.5hrs later is just too much! It took a huge toll, more mentally then anything, but my recovery was much longer then ds' longer labor and birth.

Megan, momma to Colin and Ainsley
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#26 of 45 Old 12-23-2008, 01:02 PM
 
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We're supposed to be done, too, and I HATED pregnancy this time---but I thought my labor and delivery were awesome, and am loving our bfing cosleeping, generally ap-ing--this is so much better than with ds. but I'm 34 too... and we have an 800 sq ft condo... so this is probably it. but that makes me sad. and I think, for the kids, 3 is a nice number, to have 2 siblings instead of just one. If DH knew what I was thinking he'd prob go get a vasectomy tomorrow!

Mom to DS 5/05 and DD 9/08
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#27 of 45 Old 12-23-2008, 03:57 PM
 
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We'll have at least one more (a 4th). My first 2 are 26 months apart and I LOVE LOVE LOVE that spacing. I had an emergency c-section, so I want to wait at least a year before I get pg again. I have a paragard IUD at the moment.

Wife to a great DH, SAHM to 3 great kids
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#28 of 45 Old 12-23-2008, 05:58 PM
 
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ASAP. But it took us 6 years to get pregant this time. We really want 4-5 kids but will probably adopt a couple.
Same. It took us 5 years to have him (we actually had given up on the hope of ever having children and it was a huge surprise) We want to have probably 5 and will adopt in a few years when we're more financially able.

Mama to a wild thing (10/08) and a new thing (8/5/10) and wife to the love of my
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#29 of 45 Old 12-24-2008, 04:14 PM
 
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Nevah!!!!! So done. Soooooooo done.
My sentiments EXACTLY!!!

Ashley~certified nurse-midwife mama to 6 little novaxnocirc.gifhomebirth.jpglotbirth.gif loves, including sweet Cordelia Jane born at home waterbirth.jpgon 11/12/10.
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#30 of 45 Old 12-24-2008, 05:16 PM
 
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Well, we were going to start 'trying' again when Calli turned 2 BUT, DH pulled a surprise move....or didn't pull, I should say. I haven't got my first PP period yet but I have had high temps, cravings for shrimp and yesterday after carrying Calli in her carseat I had some light pink spotting on the TP once when I wiped. Last night I had brown tinged mucous. ALL of these things happened when I was pregnant with Calli soooooo. Our plan may just be screwed up LOL.
Are you going to test and let us know???? How exciting would that be!?!

Carrie SAHM to Nora Caitlyn (5) and Finnley Dax (2) homebirthing, breastfeeding, babywearing, intactivist, doula mama!         
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