I know that TECHNICALLY a 9 wk old is a minor... - Page 2 - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
Reply
 
Thread Tools
#31 of 52 Old 01-01-2009, 01:12 PM
 
Faerieshadow's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: somewhere over the rainbow
Posts: 1,614
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I'm sorry your night was ruined. : I would have been very frustrated at the situation as well, I can think of several places in town we go to with the kids to have dinner and even sit in the bar area and no one complains. I would have been crushed to find out I couldn't spend NYE with hubby and friends as planned. :

Me: married to my :fireman Mama to my littles: Toby 8/04 and Elina 10/08
Faerieshadow is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
#32 of 52 Old 01-01-2009, 01:14 PM
 
Triciabn's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2005
Posts: 252
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
out at a bar the other night.... not New years eve, but still.
There was a man there with a wee baby... and it creeped me out.
Everytime I turned to the right I would see this little baby and think a million "Momma thoughts"....
"is the music too loud"
"Is that door causing a draft for the baby"
"are we being too loud"
"What is that guy with the baby trying to prove by dragging that baby here...that he is still hip?"
"Wouldn't that baby be happier being cozy at home"
"I bet that baby is getting so overstimulated"
Why is that baby here"
"why can't that baby be at home"
and I just asked the other women in the room who were there the other night and they all said it was just weird to see a baby out in a bar...creepy.
Now I have a ton of kids and everyone in this room is fine with all the kid activity here... but they all agreed that the baby in the bar was weird.
Just the opinions of one room.. not indicative to your area.
just my 2cents.
Tricia

momma to 7
:
Triciabn is offline  
#33 of 52 Old 01-01-2009, 01:14 PM
 
mama_b's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 2,654
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Not in your ddc, but that sucks! So sorry you didn't get to be with your friends and dh on NYE.
mama_b is offline  
#34 of 52 Old 01-01-2009, 02:27 PM
 
birthdancedoula's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Snuggling my newest babylove
Posts: 2,545
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by casemnor View Post
FWIW: I'm comfortable with my kids seeing people drinking alcohol and hanging out with adults...I think learning how to be responsible with and around alcohol starts early, as well as learning how to behave in an adult environment. In general, I avoid places where people are going to be ridiculously drunk and/or obnoxious (with or without my children). I also avoid places that allow cigarette smoking as I physically not stand cigarette smoke...and would NEVER expose my children to second hand smoke.
Couldn't have said it better, C!


Em. Sorry you didn't get to hang with your friends last night. I can understand how frustrated you must have been.

Ashley~certified nurse-midwife mama to 6 little novaxnocirc.gifhomebirth.jpglotbirth.gif loves, including sweet Cordelia Jane born at home waterbirth.jpgon 11/12/10.
birthdancedoula is offline  
#35 of 52 Old 01-01-2009, 04:15 PM
 
Amylcd's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 3,808
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I'm shocked anyone would want to take their children to a place that is going to be full of loud, drunk people. Even family pubs getting crazy on NYE. Even if you feel that type of environment is ok for your kid, you can not get mad at the bar for following the law.

knit.gifMom of Many  jumpers.gif

Amylcd is offline  
#36 of 52 Old 01-01-2009, 04:59 PM
 
Kirsten's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Washington state
Posts: 5,362
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Sorry, OP - didn't realize this was your ddc. I also click new posts and didn't notice what forum we were in with such a catchy title!

"Support only" usually keeps the debating at bay. And I agree that you had a very classy response to those of us who had a differing opinion.
Kirsten is offline  
#37 of 52 Old 01-01-2009, 05:07 PM
 
bigeyes's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: hawaii
Posts: 7,360
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Amber Lion View Post
How would my baby, asleep in a wrap on my body, ruin someone else's "adult" time, especially someone who is a stranger to us and isn't even going to be interacting with us?!
Because if they let you in, they have to let the UAVs with their babies in carriers in, and when they ignore them and let them cry and p!$$ everyone off, it will hurt their business.

This is coming from an ex-bartender, and you would not believe the cr@p I've seen. You're being punished for the behavior of others.

for intuitive readings click here :
bigeyes is offline  
#38 of 52 Old 01-01-2009, 07:06 PM
 
myrmom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2004
Posts: 1,276
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
hugs....so sorry your new years eve plans were ruined...hope you have a better day today.
myrmom is offline  
#39 of 52 Old 01-01-2009, 07:22 PM
 
eirual's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: GTA, Canada
Posts: 4,309
Mentioned: 1 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
Not in your DDC either, but wanted to let you know that I'm with you. I think it's entirely reasonable to take a babe out to celebrate (responsibly of course). They're part of society too, no matter how much some people might like to pretend that they're not. I've totally gone to pubs with DS and do think of them as family friendly, espeically when they're just going to sleep snuggled up in a wrap or something of the like anyhow.

Laurie, wife to guitar.gifDH (Aug/04), mom tobikenew.gifDS1 (Nov/05) and bfinfant.gifDS2 (June/12).

 

eirual is offline  
#40 of 52 Old 01-01-2009, 07:45 PM
 
CanBoo's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: BC, Canada
Posts: 951
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by eirual View Post
Not in your DDC either, but wanted to let you know that I'm with you. I think it's entirely reasonable to take a babe out to celebrate (responsibly of course). They're part of society too, no matter how much some people might like to pretend that they're not.
Exatcly!

Not in this DDC, but hugs to you. I've had an evening out wrecked too when DD was tiny and was so pissed off about it. She was under three months old, and I was not allowed to stay at my friends place beacuse she had organised an evening with a lady coming with mature material(you know the Tupperware style party, but with sex toys...).
Neither her and I had thought about it... My friend herself had to put her own baby to sleep really fast and close the bedroom door !
I mean DD could not have cared less, she was either nursing or sleeping in the sling and man, could my dead postpartum libido have used that evening

The thing about those thing is that a lot of people don't seem to get that BF'd infant want milk so often that they need Mom at ALL times. It is not like you actually CAN leave them anywhere else, unlike my 2 years old.

Yarn-aholic Mom to 2 cutest little girls. Dec 06 blahblah.gifbikenew.gif and May 09 energy.giftoddler.gif  Looking for time tocrochetsmilie.gif and sewmachine.gif. Will always remember my missing babies too ribbonpb.gif

CanBoo is offline  
#41 of 52 Old 01-01-2009, 08:59 PM
 
Orionbelt's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Victoria, BC
Posts: 283
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
***HUGS*** Sorry your night was ruined. :
Orionbelt is offline  
#42 of 52 Old 01-01-2009, 09:36 PM
 
crosscat's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Memphis
Posts: 1,395
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by eirual View Post
Not in your DDC either, but wanted to let you know that I'm with you. I think it's entirely reasonable to take a babe out to celebrate (responsibly of course). They're part of society too, no matter how much some people might like to pretend that they're not. I've totally gone to pubs with DS and do think of them as family friendly, espeically when they're just going to sleep snuggled up in a wrap or something of the like anyhow.
:

Em, that really sucks! I'm sorry you didn't get to have the fun evening you were anticipating.
crosscat is offline  
#43 of 52 Old 01-01-2009, 10:30 PM
 
trimestersdoula's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Canada
Posts: 1,820
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Em, I just wanted to offer you some s. I am so sorry that your evening was ruined.

When Calli was 2 weeks old I took her to an event which included drunk adults (not me or anyone at our table), live, loud music, dancing, drinking etc. It wasn't at a bar or nightclub but still. No one said a thing to me.

I have also taken her in a lounge and not had anyone say anything to me, and into a resteraunt/bar in the restraunt area and we all had drinks...including me (I had one).

Have a drink with supper is the way we live our life and I will not hide my daughter in a corner for years and pretend that drinking doesn't exist. If more people would be responsible for their actions and actually teach their children right from wrong instead of sheltering them..............

Jaclyn, Madly in with DH, Scott. Mama to Calli Elizabeth (23 months) & our new little man, Bode Keam (9 weeks).
trimestersdoula is offline  
#44 of 52 Old 01-01-2009, 10:49 PM - Thread Starter
 
Amber Lion's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Oregon
Posts: 2,409
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Thanks for the support gals! Dh and friends actually came back and we had a whispered "Happy New Years!" at midnight and it made me feel loved. Then they went back out to the bars!

I didn't realize this would be such a hot topic. Pubs around here are usually very family friendly with the whole family attending to eat, have a pint or two and listen to (often live) music. I do think it was b/c it was NYE that they decided no infants and it was rather shocking. Guess they were looking to make their pub a different environment for that night, which is disappointing, b/c I think families should have a place to go on NYE too.

Thanks annettemarie for leaving it in my DDC, it was indeed meant as just a vent.

Mama to my Addie Bug wool.gif (10/2008) and angel1.gif (6/2010); nursing student & childbirth educator
Amber Lion is offline  
#45 of 52 Old 01-01-2009, 11:06 PM
 
NewMama2007's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Midwest
Posts: 687
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Personally, the loud music would keep me from bring a LO w/ me...

BUT, if there is any minor found in a bar/pub after a certain time, that restaurant could have their liquor license revoked. A 9 week old would count. Where I used to work, it was 9 pm on weeknights, 10 pm on weekends.
NewMama2007 is offline  
#46 of 52 Old 01-02-2009, 01:00 AM
 
OrchideZ's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Golden State
Posts: 1,181
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Triciabn View Post
out at a bar the other night.... not New years eve, but still.
There was a man there with a wee baby... and it creeped me out.
Everytime I turned to the right I would see this little baby and think a million "Momma thoughts"....
"is the music too loud"
"Is that door causing a draft for the baby"
"are we being too loud"
"What is that guy with the baby trying to prove by dragging that baby here...that he is still hip?"
"Wouldn't that baby be happier being cozy at home"
"I bet that baby is getting so overstimulated"
Why is that baby here"
"why can't that baby be at home"
and I just asked the other women in the room who were there the other night and they all said it was just weird to see a baby out in a bar...creepy.
Now I have a ton of kids and everyone in this room is fine with all the kid activity here... but they all agreed that the baby in the bar was weird.
Just the opinions of one room.. not indicative to your area.
just my 2cents.
Tricia
^I have to say I have felt this myself.
I worked as a bartender both here in LA and NYC for over 10 years and to me, a bar isn't a place for babies. I know it is the law here in LA. At the last bar gig I worked, it was at a classy French restaurant where families could come and the lounge was where people could eat and drink too. As a rule, no children after 9 pm in lounge and no children at the bar ever.
The law aside, when places get busy and crowded esp. on a holiday and people get rowdy, someone can accidentally bump a baby or knock them with their elbow( I have seen this once in a French bistro late at night as a patron- babe was in a carrier). Maybe I sound kinda prudish but when I was there and saw this very young baby, it did take me out of my experience and made me wonder why this young babe was in a lounge type adult environment. It seemed too loud and I worried for the baby. It is a real liability.
I also because of years of bar life work experience have seen it all. This is including upscale, low brow, pubs, sexy lounges, music venues, etc. People when they are out drinking become unpredictable. Someone can randomly get in a fight with someone else. Someone can get shoved. Drinks can slip from someone's hand and shatter. Etc. Etc. And its always dim and loud.
I just personally would never take a baby into a bar or want to see one there as a patron.
Even if they do let you in with a baby, be aware that other patrons may not be thrilled to see a baby in a bar and it does become a focal point for criticism.
I am sorry you weren't able to hang with your pals. I don't mean to come off preachy or judgey but I did work in the bar environment for many years so it strikes a chord with me.
I am surprised your pals and DH couldn't make a compromise...you know, think of a nice restaurant you all could have went to where the baby would have been welcome.
That sucks you felt left out.
I know you had good intentions and didn't know it was a law but I think its a good law.
I hope I didn't stir the pot by voicing my opinion but I do support you and know you are a good mama.

Casemnor: I grew up in NOLA. My other concern with bars there regarding babies is the cigarette smoke which is pervasive.

Happily married with two tots (babyboy.gif J 10/18/08) & (babygirl.gif T 5/03/10) 

OrchideZ is offline  
#47 of 52 Old 01-02-2009, 01:39 PM
 
daniturtle's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2008
Location: St Paul, MN
Posts: 270
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Really sucks!!! that this hppened.

Laws like these and the flexible enforcement of them are completely ridiculous, in my opinion. I used to live in a state where you couldn't take minors ever into a liquor store (cos your baby might grab a bottle of alcohol and try to buy it? try to guzzle it down? the corrupting influence of alcohol will seep into baby via osmosis?) and babies were not allowed in bars or the bar areas of restaurants with bars and I thought it was UTTERLY stupid and I didn't have kids then. I mean one place we used to go to- a brewpub- was essentially one large room with no real physical division between the bar and restaurant but that 10 feet or whatever was somehow magically safer for kids? PUHlease!

I have no idea if the state I currently live in has a over 9pm no minors allowed cos I'm usually asleep by 9pm But god knows I've been in many pubs and bars (they are all also restaurants as that's the law here) with Thalia. And! I've usually had a pint! of beer! I honestly do not believe any of this makes me a bad mama. (I wouldn't do it if there was smoking, but a-there's a ban here and b-I didn't go to smoky bars pre-baby either!)

Anyway, I just wanted to say, Em, that I totally hear and get you. And would have been as annoyed as you!!!

Daniela ~ Mami to Thalia Adelita (born 10/05/08)
daniturtle is offline  
#48 of 52 Old 01-02-2009, 04:55 PM - Thread Starter
 
Amber Lion's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Oregon
Posts: 2,409
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
OrchideZ - don't worry about having a different opinion! We've all got different experiences that give us our thoughts today. I'd never considered that having my baby there would influence someone else's time b/c they might be worried about my baby! All I know is that Addie loves loud, live music, feels safe b/c she's in a wrap on me, I'm having a good time, and I think it's good for babies to be out in the real world... I've never imagined that someone else might worry about her b/c *I'm* not worried about her... does that make sense? So it's good to hear the other side... respectfully.

Mama to my Addie Bug wool.gif (10/2008) and angel1.gif (6/2010); nursing student & childbirth educator
Amber Lion is offline  
#49 of 52 Old 01-02-2009, 05:30 PM
 
OrchideZ's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Golden State
Posts: 1,181
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I love ya Em!:
I came back here thinking maybe I was too in-yer-face and was worried about hurting feelings in retrospect.
I do know we are all good mamas on here with just different styles and approaches. Yay for Oct. 08 mamas.

Happily married with two tots (babyboy.gif J 10/18/08) & (babygirl.gif T 5/03/10) 

OrchideZ is offline  
#50 of 52 Old 01-02-2009, 05:57 PM
 
casemnor's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Houston, TX
Posts: 387
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by OrchideZ View Post
^

Casemnor: I grew up in NOLA. My other concern with bars there regarding babies is the cigarette smoke which is pervasive.

I can not stand cigarette smoke, it makes me physically ill...so as a rule do not frequent bars/pubs/restaurants with any cigarette smoking. Thank goodness there is a smoking ban on restaurants in New Orleans. That gives us a plethora of choices in the quarter and around New Orleans.
casemnor is offline  
#51 of 52 Old 01-02-2009, 08:27 PM
 
trimestersdoula's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Canada
Posts: 1,820
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
When it comes to smoking....well, me and my husband both smoke but will not do so in front of or around Calli. We don't smoke in our house or vehicle or anywhere else she could breathe it in. We also have bans on smoking in restaurants and bars here. I am glad that we do, even though I am a smoker. Just because I smoke doesn't mean other people need to thanks to me.

Jaclyn, Madly in with DH, Scott. Mama to Calli Elizabeth (23 months) & our new little man, Bode Keam (9 weeks).
trimestersdoula is offline  
#52 of 52 Old 01-02-2009, 08:34 PM
 
thismama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Nursing the revolution
Posts: 12,099
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Another DDC crasher, sorry, but wanted to say ITA with the OP. I took my first to pubs very frequently and I think that unless there is smoking or extremely loud music it should be a non issue. As for the 'mama thoughts' about drafts etc. those are thoughts that don't generally occur to me about my babies. I keep them close to me, wrapped in public usually, nurse on demand and go about my life. Don't tend to worry overmuch beyond that.
thismama is offline  
Reply

User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off