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Old 05-01-2008, 07:31 PM
 
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I just cannot get into most of this because it would upset me so much. If anyone EVER told me (or anybody that I knew, be they close friends or not) that I couldn't deliver vaginally I would immediately (and pressure those I love ) seek different maternity care. That is the biggest BS I have ever heard. And more than that, I know many VERY PETITE women (well, 3 of them personally) who have delivered 10+ lb babies and didn't even tear!!!!

Wife & Mama to Two Loving Kids DS1 (7/7/07) DS2 (925/08) and DS3 (6/28/12)! And our new furbaby puppy Koda!

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Old 05-01-2008, 07:39 PM
 
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I second that Triple. My 122 pound (fully pregnant) coworker just delivered a 10lb 13oz babe with only a superficial tear. She's so proud of herself 'cause she didn't have an epidural this time like she did with her first. The coworker is 4'11" and was 94 pounds prior to getting preggo with her second.

I always politely disagree with people when I hear that so and so had to be induced at 3_ weeks due to size. What a load of crappola.
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Old 05-01-2008, 08:00 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I know ladies. I'm so sick over this. I'm just so scared for her tomorrow. I think people tend to forget or don't know/aren't told that sections are major abdominal surgery! Why is it that people will do every kind of cancer treatment possible to avoid/postpone surgery but they think babies need to be "taken"?! Ugh, this really gets me. I was practically in tears over this last night. My heart hurts. I hope she realizes how difficult the first few weeks will be with her new baby boy since she'll be healing from surgery. I can't imagine how frusterating it would be to not be able to do as much when all you want to do is be extremely active with your newborn. I really hope she has lots of family and friends to be with her when she comes home. I hope she doesn't have too many problems initiating breastfeeding. She was going to try to nurse but wasn't sure she really wanted to last time I saw her. This might totally derail that.
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Old 05-01-2008, 09:55 PM
 
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Well, I was 130 prepregnancy - 5'9" and delivered a 10.5 lb baby boy naturally my first pregnancy. I have friend who are bigger than me that had c-sections for "big" babies. What do they think my vagina is bigger than theirs? My hips? Hips move during birth. Baby's heads mold and shrink (as fontinels overlap) during labor- these are not fixated things that can be easily predicted.

Rather than focus on the negative birth stories - there are soooo many, I find it helps to read birth stories online here or Ina May Gaskin's books. That way I focus on positivity and celebrate victories in birth and beauty in labor. Tara, you can't get too upset at all your friend's births or not be friends with them. I just avoid the discussion, or nod politely when it comes up. Then I go home and pick up a natural birth story or get on this board. Don't let it get you down

Mandi - Doula/Childbirth Educator, Loving my DH, DS, DD, DD, missing my three (last m/c 4/2010)
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Old 05-01-2008, 10:22 PM
 
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My MIL is 5'' I think (maybe 5'1'') and is very teeny tiny, I think she said she was 95lbs prepregnancy, and delivered my husband, 9lbs 2oz, naturally, no tearing, no meds. I just don't get the "too small" thing, I mean, statistically, how often does that happen? I'll agree that sometimes c/s ARE necessary (mother and/or baby's health declining, not dialating for reasons other then a failed induction [inductions for no good reason annoy me, too, lol]) but they occur far to often for me to buy that they're truly necessary surgeries.

Megan, momma to Colin and Ainsley
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Old 05-02-2008, 05:00 AM
 
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This is a terribly hoax - and if you don't believe me wait until she delivers a baby under 9 pounds. The equation that they use to estimate weight in the third trimester is faulty.
My mom is an OB nurse. They had a patient last fall who was pregnant with her TENTH child, all previous 9 vaginal deliveries. They estimated the baby was close to 10 lbs by ultrasound, talked her into a c-section. . . . and pulled out a 7 lb baby

I think one of the things that really frustrates me about c-sections is that they don't really talk to first time moms about how much it can limit your future options. It's sprung on them in the later days of pregnancy when they're in that "So Ready to be Done With This" phase and don't even get me started on the practitioners that use half-truths and fear-mongering to talk women into a birth that's more convenient for the doctor. It's really terrible that women are influenced into making potentionally life-changing decisions when they're in such a vulnerable place.

Wife to a great DH, SAHM to 3 great kids
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Old 05-02-2008, 08:42 AM
 
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Tiger Lily, I agree. And I've noticed most doctors use scare tacticts to get their way (I've had a ped try it with me.. he didn't get far though!). A friend of mine who was talked into an induction (last minute) and then ended up with a c/s and was told she'd have to have all c/s b/c her pelvis is too small to birth a baby wanted 5-6 kids, and doesn't it get dangerous with each section you have to keep having more? That just makes me sad for her, to not be able to have as many kids as she wants because a) her ob was and idiot an b) she didn't educate herself first

Megan, momma to Colin and Ainsley
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Old 05-02-2008, 10:58 AM
 
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And more than that, I know many VERY PETITE women (well, 3 of them personally) who have delivered 10+ lb babies and didn't even tear!!!!
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I second that Triple. My 122 pound (fully pregnant) coworker just delivered a 10lb 13oz babe with only a superficial tear. She's so proud of herself 'cause she didn't have an epidural this time like she did with her first. The coworker is 4'11" and was 94 pounds prior to getting preggo with her second.
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My MIL is 5'' I think (maybe 5'1'') and is very teeny tiny, I think she said she was 95lbs prepregnancy, and delivered my husband, 9lbs 2oz, naturally, no tearing, no meds. I just don't get the "too small" thing, I mean, statistically, how often does that happen?
It's so good to hear these things. I'm kind of shrimpy myself (5'3" 117 today), and it seems like so many people are trying to scare me by suggesting that my 6'4" 200+ husband's baby is going to be "too big" for me to deliver naturally. Of course I've read that generally the baby is sized perfectly for the mother to deliver, which I believe and it makes sense, after all. It's still very reassuring to hear these types of ancedotes to counter the "you're small like me, so don't be surprised if you need a c/s" comments.
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Old 05-02-2008, 11:26 AM
 
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Crosscat, try not to listen to them! I don't think there's anyway to predict how big your baby will be, and basing it on the current size of mom/dad is just silly to me. I've heard that babies are normally the size of their dad, but I'm not even sure how that works. My dh was 9 2, I was 7 5, and ds was 8 3, right in the middle. My oldest sister was 9 something, and her daughter was 9 1 I think.. not sure if it really has a thing to do with how big she was, though. I think it's very rare that a body will grow a baby too big for it to birth. My sister's friend's 2nd child was almost 13lbs!!! And he was born vaginally, without any problems.

Megan, momma to Colin and Ainsley
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Old 05-02-2008, 12:50 PM
 
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Yeah, don't listen to them. I'm not a big person (I'm 5'4" and 125 lbs or so not pg) and my DS was 10 lbs 1 oz, 22" only 2 days past EDD. I birthed him at home, no tearing whatsoever. Now my DH is Korean and is broad-shouldered plus, as he warned me while pg with DD, "all Koreans have huge heads." And mine both have had huge heads. DS did have sticky shoulders, but nothing my body couldn't handle.

Tara~ It is so hard not to get yourself all riled up when others make decisions based on false information. There is NO way that baby can gain 5 lbs in a week unless she has major unchecked GD or something else I'm sure she's gotten tested for. Impossible. They are using scare tactics and this is going to affect her future pg should she decide to have more kids one day. : It makes me so mad too and I don't even know her! Not only that, but even if the baby is 10 lbs, so what? Plenty of mamas birth babies of that size with no problem, argh.
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Old 05-02-2008, 03:45 PM
 
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Thanks again for the reassurance, ladies! It means the world to me.

Hey, just got back from a mostly uneventful OB appointment. Highlights: hearing the whoosh whooosh whoosh and scheduling the 20 week u/s for May 30. Before June I should know which flavor bebe I'm having, which is a thrill for me. Afterwards had a great lunch with DH. Now if only work wasn't so busy, yucky, and stressful today. At least it's Friday and I have a fun weekend planned. As long as I finish up this project that keeps getting more and more inflated hours before deadline! UGGG!

Hope everyone is doing well and has a great weekend.
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Old 05-02-2008, 07:02 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Well, DH's best friend had a baby boy this morning, via c-section. 9lb 9oz. Perfectly deliverable vaginally. Oh well. DH said she sounded very out of it when he talked to her but she said she was excited. I said, duh she's out of it....she had surgery and of course she's excited....what else would she say?? She'll be in the hospital through Monday.

I'm not upset with her or anything. I know none of this is her fault. I feel sorry for her and I hurt for her because she just doesn't know. Maybe hearing what I know will be a wonderful birth story from me will help her in her future pregnancies, if there are any.

Pretty uneventful here in my world. I went to lunch with a good friend I haven't seen in several months. That was nice. I stopped at Motherhood and got a few ribbed tanks to workout in since none of my tops fit and another cute dress because I just couldn't resist. Tonight is date night with DH and I'm sure we'll just go to dinner but I always look forward to it. It's a nice way to end the week. Have a wonderful weekend everyone!
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Old 05-03-2008, 11:06 AM
 
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being pregnant for the first time puts you in so many different vulnerable situations...my ob tried to tell me not to get my hopes up about a natural birth because it "never happens" and i'm so small i'll more than likely have a c-section....ummm hello (this lady was 38 weeks pregnant at the time) SHe also told me that I couldnt hire my own doula...she would give me a list of doulas that "she got along with" and I could choose from that!!! hmmmm.....I dropped them immediately!!!
I feel so bad for all of my friends that were talked into unnecessary procedures and just weren't well informed! Baby's heart rate is dropping fast...we have to take the baby NOW or it's going to die...WTF...my friend honestly believes that had she not had the c/s, her baby was going to die....i can't get through to her about the dangers of pitocin, induction, monitoring, etc... I just hate hearing that women are even birthing in the hospital...it honestly makes me worry!!

Something has to change....it's getting CRAZY!!! It makes me so incredibly angry~!

Lee Ann ~ SAHM to Carolina(4)uc.jpg, Aurora (2)uc.jpg, and belly.gifwith #3 - due in December!
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Old 05-03-2008, 02:30 PM
 
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Maybe hearing what I know will be a wonderful birth story from me will help her in her future pregnancies, if there are any.
Glad it's over and they both seem "okay" - I'm sure hearing your wonderful birth story will at least have some impact on her. I'm hoping to make an impact on some of my epidural happy friends and co-workers with my experience as well.

Enjoy date night!

I hope everyone has a great weekend. I'm going to be busy with a few parties to attend. Other than that, I plan to relax as much as possible!
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Old 05-03-2008, 02:36 PM
 
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Tonight's our date night too. We're going for dinner and I don't know what else. No movies playing. There's a musical, but it's too late for our babysitter (grandma). Guess we'll have to go parking

Tara--glad your friend came through okay.

Wife to a great DH, SAHM to 3 great kids
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Old 05-04-2008, 02:25 AM
 
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Yeah - I'm glad she's okay too Tara. Like I said, focus on the women you CAN connect with and just go on being friends with others even if they make different choices. She's about to begin the really hard part - mothering! Of course, it is also the best thing ever.

Okay - I'm too tired to be philosophical. I missed the funeral today and stayed in Seattle. That was a little sad. Still, we seem to be over the stomach bug that hit us. We had a nice day together as a family - much of it planning for the "girls" since our youngest two will both be females. We're also debating names. All of that is fun to me. I hope you all are well!

Mandi - Doula/Childbirth Educator, Loving my DH, DS, DD, DD, missing my three (last m/c 4/2010)
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Old 05-05-2008, 06:25 PM
 
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Should I start a new thread?

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Old 05-05-2008, 06:37 PM
 
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Should I start a new thread?
Tag...you're it!!

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Old 05-05-2008, 07:20 PM
 
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You mean I'm the sucker

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