Does everyone get annoyed with their midwife at some point lol? - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 27 Old 08-21-2008, 07:38 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I think it's my turn...

I 'think' my midwife will be capable during the labor/birth.. but she seems to be lacking in the support and help through pregnancy and issues that come along with said pregnancy. And if I had to choose again I might just keep on looking instead of choosing her after only talking to one other midwife then her.

She told me once that she 'deals with the normal in pregnancy' ... and though she had originally said she did not feel I was too high risk to be with her.. it does sort of appear that she doesn't understand much if anything beyond the normal.

I have PCOS (Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome), which includes hypoglycemia, and a related depression/anxiety issue that I am on meds for (all of those issues have related prescriptions). I also am lactose intolerant, and have irritable bowel syndrome. I had a diagnosis of 'irritable uterus' in previous pregnancies the first time around landing me on 9.5 weeks of bedrest and in and out of the hospital (I delivered at exactly 37w). The 2nd pregnancy we just did progesterone shots in the hip from 17w-36w but had no bedrest that time (delivered at 39.5 weeks).

I'm even considered 'a-typical' for PCOS in that I'm thin (most are overweight), and not excessively hairy. and low blood sugar instead of high (diabetes). When I'm not pregnant I tend to have short frequent cycles with no ovulation (instead of months or yrs without a cycle). But I follow in line with having too high testosterone, too high insulin levels, and very low female hormones.. that is typical for me and is also signs of PCOS.

Soooooo this is a lot of background info to basically say I'm not 'normal' .. never have been lol.

I've been having some health issues that are either blown off by my midwife as normal, or like today she informed me she thinks I'm having panic attacks and that I need to turn to Christ and seek a christian counselor (she even recommended one).

SIGH yes I do have depression/anxiety problems.. but NO it isn't a spiritual issue.. it is due to chemical/hormonal inbalances.....!

Sorry girls I don't know if this is just a rant, or a need to pour out my frustrations.. or if I'm even asking any questions here.....

Rae 27 DH Phillip 32 married 11-22-03
DS1 Nathaniel b. 11-21-04, DS2 Ian b. 9-8-06, DS3 Samuel b. 10-1-08, DS4 Peter b. 5-24-11
 

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#2 of 27 Old 08-21-2008, 08:40 PM
 
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You might have issues resulting from your PCOS, but that is NOT a very professional way to address them. Maybe you should cosndier re-interviewing more midwives.
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#3 of 27 Old 08-21-2008, 08:55 PM
 
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She's a B insert itch for throwing her values on you as a way to treat your problems. Jesus would be pissed. Anywho.....

I hope her attitude doesn't put a damper on your pregnancy and that you have the lovely birth you've planned.
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#4 of 27 Old 08-21-2008, 10:15 PM
 
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Everyone's allowed to get annoyed with their HCP, but I would be royally pissed if my mw or doctor or whomever tried to tell me that all I needed was to pray, or seek christ or whatever. How unprofessional! Ugh. What about seeing someone else for your health issues that aren't pregnancy related? I mean, I wouldn't go to my mw now for mental health issues myself just b/c I'm pregnant. I would still see a specialist. Don't know if that helps, but maybe she really just does not know how to help you?

Carrie SAHM to Nora Caitlyn (5) and Finnley Dax (2) homebirthing, breastfeeding, babywearing, intactivist, doula mama!         
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#5 of 27 Old 08-21-2008, 10:29 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks girls ...... I'm also a follower of Christ .. but I um apparently don't believe like she does about depression issues.

I'm kind of concerned though because I had a long list of weird symptoms, and her auto reply came back seeming so off the wall to me and my DH. I think 'some' of what is going on is my being over-tired and stressed this week, but I also worry I could have a infection or something weird going on......

What do you girls think of this odd-array of symptoms that I sent to my midwife today??

Quote:
I've been having an assortment of odd symptoms/things going on here lately that got a lot worse this morning.

And I'm starting to wondering if I'm sick or something is not functioning properly at least. Maybe a infection or blood pressure issue?

Here's my symptoms, in random order.. because well they happen randomly:


I'm having episodes of feeling like my chest/throat are closing so that I can't breathe. Usually within 30sec to a couple of minutes that calms back down or at least lessens to a level that I can manage.


Dizzy/lightheaded problems even when sitting.


nausea sometimes joins the above throng.


easily over heated, pulse racing at times.


And often if I take a moment to check my temperature during the above symptoms it will be 99.0-99.2F ??


My blood sugar seems to be fine if tested during these times, like this morning it was 94 and I had been eating well too.


I'm also getting very overwhelmed, overtired, crying etc Which I know the latter could 'just' be part of pregnancy but it shouldn't be to the point of making me dysfunctional should it?
Let me quote her exact reply (minus her signature/name)
Quote:
It sounds like a panic attack. Take your thoughts captive unto Christ, Rae. You may want to consider counseling. I can recommend a very good Christian counselor center, Christian Psychological Services, 913-345-0033. Or, the National Association of Nouthetic Counselors, www.nanc.org, has an entire list of certified Christian counselors.

Rae 27 DH Phillip 32 married 11-22-03
DS1 Nathaniel b. 11-21-04, DS2 Ian b. 9-8-06, DS3 Samuel b. 10-1-08, DS4 Peter b. 5-24-11
 

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#6 of 27 Old 08-21-2008, 11:08 PM
 
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i would be super offended if my MW said that to me. I'm Jewish though so that may taint my response!!! lol!

as far as your symptoms, i feel many of them w/ you so i think many of them are normal but i do think you need to be listened to.

maybe post in teh "birth profesionals" forum here and see what some of those MW's say.
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#7 of 27 Old 08-22-2008, 12:04 AM
 
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If you both understand where each other is in your faith and she knows you to have a common ground then what the mw is saying isn't out of line or unprofessional, IMO. MW's usually give more personal care and that is one of the things that we like about them.

I think praying is a good option but I also think that the Lord puts medical professionals in our paths to help us with very real health issues. I'm sorry that you are having these problems and I hope they can become resolved in due time.
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#8 of 27 Old 08-22-2008, 10:43 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Although I agree since we both sort of know we are believers, it might not be out of line to say what she did. But the way it was just thrown out.. and with no real explanation kind of seemed like blowing me off and not seeing if there are/were any real health issues going on.

Thankfully I have a very supportive doula who I also sent the same info to, and she came back with some good questions about my health for me to check into to be sure everything is okay.

Rae 27 DH Phillip 32 married 11-22-03
DS1 Nathaniel b. 11-21-04, DS2 Ian b. 9-8-06, DS3 Samuel b. 10-1-08, DS4 Peter b. 5-24-11
 

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#9 of 27 Old 08-22-2008, 10:44 AM
 
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Is your midwife aware of your spiritual beliefs?? Is it something you have talked about in the past with her? If so then I don't think she was out of line...sounds like she is being caring and concered and pointing you in a direction she believes will help you based on your spiritual beliefs.

Now if this is something you haven't discussed with her, if your spiritual beliefs are private and have not been part of your care, ie not talked about...then she is WAAAAYYYY over stepping her bounds. If a medical professional ever mentioned christ or god or whatever other religious thing to me they would be so fired..but that is because my belief's are private and not shared and therefore not a part of my medical care.

As for your symptoms I don't think your midwife was off base...my mom suffers panic attacks and it sounds very similar to what you are going through....maybe talking to someone isn't a bad idea....weather they be christian based or not. Depression in the 3rd trimester can happen and if not taken care of before baby is born can cause moderate to severe ppd after baby is born.
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#10 of 27 Old 08-22-2008, 11:07 AM
 
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Those symptoms sound VERY FAMMILIAR to what I deal with almost daily during preganacy (and often when on birth conrtol) my midwife was the firt person to diagnose it as Low Blood Preassure. Which I have always known I had, but never connected to those symptoms. She explained to me that we become more aware of our low blood preassure symptoms when we are pregnant ebcause of the added blood volume, it doubles when pregnant. That kind of makes sense to me, body is over taxed making baby, and mama's joints are low on the body's list of priorities. Eating good quality sea salt in my food to taste (not over salting) and taking a mineral supplment has helped greatly. But it still happens, the hot weather doesn't help. Maybe that has somethign to do with your symptoms?
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#11 of 27 Old 08-22-2008, 11:30 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Bailey ..... thanks I'll have to check into that I have actually known myself to be on the bottom end of blood pressure tests for yrs.. especially when pregnant. So I wonder if that could have something to do with it......

You use sea salt.. and what kind of minerals??

Rae 27 DH Phillip 32 married 11-22-03
DS1 Nathaniel b. 11-21-04, DS2 Ian b. 9-8-06, DS3 Samuel b. 10-1-08, DS4 Peter b. 5-24-11
 

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#12 of 27 Old 08-22-2008, 11:55 AM
 
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I had to throw in - we have some mild virus going around here - it left me exausted, breathless, lightheaded, sometimes nauseaus, aching joints and muscles, I could choose to eat, or drink, or breath, but no way could I do 2 or 3 at a time.. and I almost paniced that I could NOT live for 6 more weeks like this - then it went away! I talked with dh and he said I was describing what he had the previous week when he told me he "wasn't feeling good" but had not wished to elaborate.
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#13 of 27 Old 08-22-2008, 04:40 PM
 
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you could always go to an Urgent Care Clinic if you think your midwife is missing the point.

And, it's never too late to switch midwives if you're not comfortable.
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#14 of 27 Old 08-22-2008, 06:18 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Well that's good to hear that it's never to late to switch.

Because she just called me.. and by the end of the phone call she was basically telling me that she didn't think she was the midwife for me.

She's dropping me....

Rae 27 DH Phillip 32 married 11-22-03
DS1 Nathaniel b. 11-21-04, DS2 Ian b. 9-8-06, DS3 Samuel b. 10-1-08, DS4 Peter b. 5-24-11
 

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#15 of 27 Old 08-22-2008, 06:26 PM
 
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Because she just called me.. and by the end of the phone call she was basically telling me that she didn't think she was the midwife for me.

She's dropping me....
Oh man I am so sorry, I do hope that in the end though this turns out to be a positive thing for you and you are able to find a midwife you love and trust and who trusts in you!!! hugs mama!!
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#16 of 27 Old 08-22-2008, 06:53 PM
 
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Wow. I don't know what to say. It sucks but at the same time, I'd have t bet that it's a good thing in the long run. I wouldn't want a MW at my birth that I didn't feel supported by.
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#17 of 27 Old 08-22-2008, 08:13 PM
 
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Well..goodness. I guess it's a good thing though, in a way.

fambedsingle2.gifnovaxnocirc.gifHappy to be a mommy and teacher to D fencing.gif, born 1-17-06 via waterbirth.jpg  and A  blahblah.gif, born 10-6-08 with a homebirth.jpghomeschool.gif

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#18 of 27 Old 08-22-2008, 08:32 PM
 
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what? dropping you because your case is not textbook simple and you want actual medical care instead of prayers for your strange set of symptoms?

You'll be much better off with someone else - I'm just sorry you had no chance to dump her.

Your User Agreement here at MDC, read it and make it your friend and read the FAQ to answer all the questions of the (MDC) world.
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#19 of 27 Old 08-22-2008, 08:58 PM
 
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Originally Posted by sonshine_rae View Post
Bailey ..... thanks I'll have to check into that I have actually known myself to be on the bottom end of blood pressure tests for yrs.. especially when pregnant. So I wonder if that could have something to do with it......

You use sea salt.. and what kind of minerals??
Cal Mag Zinc D, plus nettles in the pregnancy tea nettles are loaded with iron whoch is much mroe easily abosrbed than a supplement. I forget but there are tons of other minerals in the herbs used in pregnancy tea blends. Good sea salt, like Himalayan, Hawaiian, or Celtic. As unprocessed and unrefined as possible, that way they still have the mineral content from teh soil they came from intact. Eating tons of dark leafy greens helps too, I try for one serving a day, even if it;s just spinach in my scrambled eggs.

Though it still happens, all the time, this is no cure, but it helps. I used to be clinging to the couch dizy and weak every morning for a couple of three hours and the same last pregnancy during the last trimester. Since I have had more awreness of the cause I have been able to keep it down to a dull roar, some days are bad, but most days I can muddle my through the lowest point of my day around 9AM by letting my DD watch Curious George while I nap.
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#20 of 27 Old 08-22-2008, 09:03 PM
 
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Originally Posted by KailuaMamatoMaya View Post
what? dropping you because your case is not textbook simple and you want actual medical care instead of prayers for your strange set of symptoms?

You'll be much better off with someone else - I'm just sorry you had no chance to dump her.
What she said! That sucks!!
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#21 of 27 Old 08-22-2008, 09:17 PM
 
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Wow, she certainly has a narrow definition of "normal pregnancy", huh? Now you can find someone capable who you can trust.

I have PCOS too so I just want to throw out that it totally sucks and you really need a provider who understands PCOS!

Also, have you had your iron levels checked recently? I was feeling dizzy, very short of breath (a flight of stairs was a killer, which is nuts) and light headed and exhausted, and my iron was low. The supplements really helped with those symptoms.
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#22 of 27 Old 08-23-2008, 03:09 AM
 
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That is just awful that she dropped you. Did she explain to you why? I just don't understand how someone can take you on, knowing your "non-normal" problems and then this close to birth drop you! That is just terrible. Just to give you a little support, I switched midwifes at 32 weeks with my last pregnancy. It was the best decision I could have made for me and my baby. So there is hope for you to find someone perfect for your birth.
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#23 of 27 Old 08-23-2008, 12:07 PM
 
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Rae, that's terrible. I wish you the best in finding new care that is more in tune with what you need! You know I'm close by if you ever need anything.
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#24 of 27 Old 08-23-2008, 05:37 PM
 
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Originally Posted by sonshine_rae View Post
Well that's good to hear that it's never to late to switch.

Because she just called me.. and by the end of the phone call she was basically telling me that she didn't think she was the midwife for me.

She's dropping me....
I'm so sorry...I hope you'll be able to find another mw. I guess it's better for you for her to do this now than to be uncomfortable with variations of normal during your birth and insisting on a transfer.
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#25 of 27 Old 08-24-2008, 01:59 AM
 
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First, ITA with what most have posted here so I won't repeat it.

Second, she should have been honest with you about her comfort level from the start. She wasn't and then felt in over her head maybe and dropped you...she really needed/needs to help you find a new provider. She can't just abandon you! If you are unable to find a MW or she refuses to help out with the search, I would report her to MANA. Leaving you in late pregnancy is not safe! Tell her to take that up with Jesus!

Third, I think with PCOS and the temperature issues you have mentioned (and forgive me if you already have this followed...cause you probable do)...I'd get your thyroid levels checked. If you are already having them followed just FYI, some HCP only test once in a pregnancy...they should be tested once a trimester (only if they are off, of course).

Hugs, and good luck in your search!
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#26 of 27 Old 08-25-2008, 11:30 AM
 
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I just wanted to express my total sympathy - my homebirth midwife just recently dropped me from care at 33.5 weeks pregnant because she thought we "weren't a good match personality-wise" (wish she could have drawn that conclusion several weeks sooner!!!), leaving me completely scrambling trying to find a HB midwife before my looming (October 2nd) due date. I still don't have one signed up yet, which means that she may have cost me my home birth. So I know just how gut-punched it can feel to be abandoned from care late in the game, and I wanted to let you know it's not just you, and I feel for you!
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#27 of 27 Old 08-25-2008, 11:53 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I'm sorry to hear you've been dropped too... that stinks.

Yeah my due-date is October 6th.. so we are pretty close. Thankfully I know of a couple of other midwives in the area, and one I've talked to this weekend may be able to take me still need to have a consultation with her first though.

((hugs))

Rae 27 DH Phillip 32 married 11-22-03
DS1 Nathaniel b. 11-21-04, DS2 Ian b. 9-8-06, DS3 Samuel b. 10-1-08, DS4 Peter b. 5-24-11
 

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