Weekly Postpartum Chit-Chat & Support 11/1-11/7 - Page 3 - Mothering Forums

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Old 11-03-2008, 09:48 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Baby_Cakes View Post
I know there are bigger issues being discussed and I'm not trying to make light of any of them b/c I know that our babies are number one right now, and I know there are more important things to think and talk about...

But I feel fat.

I am starting to feel bad about myself and it's making me feel really depressed.

I just needed to vent. Thanks for listening.
Mama, I am right there with you. Some days are better than others... but I still don't even fit into my medium maternity jeans again yet which means I have nothing but sweats to wear and I'm so not happy about that.

I am so sorry about your cat I hope she pulls through. I've had cats all my life until recently and I know the pain of losing them.


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Originally Posted by mamanurse View Post
I went to pick up dd1 from music class and dd2/dh were in the car. Someone asked me if I was EVER going to have the baby :

I'm assuming his HOB is elevated and that you're also tilting him upward at the breast?

I'm feeling a little better about hemorrhaging pp today. I'll probably cry buckets and still wallow in my own self-pity a little, but I'm hoping I've turned the corner with the emotions.
I can't believe someone said that!

What is HOB? Head of baby?

I hope you're feeling better emotionally.

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I am planning our first DTD. . . So here's what I've got so far. . .

Nightie
Candle
Wine
Nice massage oil
lube of some sort (not sure what to get)
a new razor (I need to shave my legs!! )
I have steaks in the freezer. . . :


What else do I need? Maybe I should get beer instead? We're not drinkers really, just once in a while. I just want to make this a really special time. We had such a stressful year, that I want to create a little place in time where the whole world dissappears, and it's just us two. . . until the kids wake up, of course!
Wow, go you! Sorry you're bleeding again, though : I am nowhere near ready, and know I won't be emotionally for probably a couple of months. I'm still traumatized from the stitches!

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Originally Posted by myrmom View Post
I had my first ppd crying session last night....My nipples were finally starting to feel a tad better and then he was all chompy yesterday and they got sore again. Then last night I was tired and he wanted to cluster feed and I just didn't want to feed him. I felt awful...he was crying in dh's arms and I was crying and all I kept thinking was I just don't want to feed you I want to sleep...then I felt all guilty and snuggled up to him and let the love I have for him try and over power the pain in my breasts.
I'm so there with you, mama. My left breast seems mostly fine now and the scabs have mostly gone but my right breast is agonizing and I don't want to feed him on that side, to the point that I am almost in tears just thinking about it.

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Day 6 was really hard for me too, I had a good couple cries and a long talk with Dh and felt better the next day. Hope you start to even out soon, hormones can be so hard b/c I know I'm being irrational, but that doesn't keep me from bawling.
Thanks mama. I am feeling mostly better today.


AAM: Jasper is starting to sleep for longer stretches and go 3 hours between feeds, but part of me wants to wake him every two hours during the day to offer the breast in an attempt to have him less of a vampire at the breast. The base of my nipple on my right side is still cracked and it's so painful... I don't know if pumping on that side and just nursing him on the left will help it heal or not... I'm worried about increasing my supply though--it's definitely not adjusted yet and I don't want to increase it too much. Anyone have any advice?

I'm taking us both to the chiro for the first time PP on Wednesday... hoping that an adjustment will help both of us... no idea if it can help his hiccups and reflux though!

The other thing: he gets the hiccups EVERY TIME he eats, regardless if I burp him or not, and he's spitting up often--and often well after a feed, and he swallows it back down again... sometimes it's obviously painful for him and I feel so bad. So I am going to try keeping him upright/reclined for longer after a feed but he doesn't seem to like that--it's almost as if he would prefer to be flat.

write@home mama to big boy (04-06) and little boy (10-08)
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Old 11-03-2008, 10:31 PM
 
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Hey guys...



Leeloo passed away this morning. I am just beside myself. She either contracted an infection from the feeding tube she had, or it was an underlying infection the whole time and having the surgeries made her immune system unable to cope. She had massive amounts of fluid around her lungs and was completely septic. She went into respiratory failure, and they did everything they could to save her, but they were unable to.

We brought her home and buried her in our backyard, wrapped in her favorite blanket with some of her favorite things. DH and I are trying so hard to cope but it is incredibly hard. We let Cosette (her sister) see her body so that hopefully she doesn't keep crying to see where she is.

We keep trying to think happy thoughts, and to remember how beautiful and wonderful she was, but it's hard when you are just so sad. She was only 2 years old, just a baby. She's buried just outside the kitchen window that she used to look out of all the time. I thought it would be nice for her to be in a place that she could have seen from her window, a place that we will be able to see often as well.

Carrie SAHM to Nora Caitlyn (5) and Finnley Dax (2) homebirthing, breastfeeding, babywearing, intactivist, doula mama!         
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Old 11-03-2008, 10:36 PM
 
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Carrie, I'm so sorry. I've been thinking about Leeloo all day and hoping for better news. I know how hard it is to lose such a loved pet. We had to put down my Scarlett just a few weeks after we got married when she was diagnosed with FIP (fatal and painful). It was the hardest thing ever. We also took her home with us, let our younger kitty see her first and then burried her under a peaceful tree in our backyard. I bought a fountain to remember her by too. I hope you can find some peace. I know it takes time. I cried for days and cancelled all my classes and clients for several days. s to you mama.
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Old 11-03-2008, 11:07 PM
 
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Old 11-03-2008, 11:25 PM
 
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Oh Carrie I am so sorry to hear about Leeloo. What a beautiful way to honor her memory by laying her to rest in a place that she loved to gaze upon. I know you, Chris, and Cosette will miss her deeply.

Rest in peace sweet Leeloo.

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Old 11-03-2008, 11:44 PM
 
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So sorry about your kitty. It's tough anytime to deal with grief, but I think it's worse right after you've had a baby. I lost my favorite kitty when my 3rd was a newborn, and I remember how heartbroken I was over it. I sat on my couch and cried and cried. Sounds like you found a nice place for Leeloo; something very special you can remember her by.

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Old 11-03-2008, 11:46 PM
 
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Carie I'm so sorry
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Old 11-03-2008, 11:54 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Bella Catalina View Post
What is HOB? Head of baby?
Head of baby is actually close. I didn't realize it was nurse speak for Head of Bed

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Originally Posted by Baby_Cakes View Post
Hey guys...



Leeloo passed away this morning. I am just beside myself. She either contracted an infection from the feeding tube she had, or it was an underlying infection the whole time and having the surgeries made her immune system unable to cope. She had massive amounts of fluid around her lungs and was completely septic. She went into respiratory failure, and they did everything they could to save her, but they were unable to.

We brought her home and buried her in our backyard, wrapped in her favorite blanket with some of her favorite things. DH and I are trying so hard to cope but it is incredibly hard. We let Cosette (her sister) see her body so that hopefully she doesn't keep crying to see where she is.

We keep trying to think happy thoughts, and to remember how beautiful and wonderful she was, but it's hard when you are just so sad. She was only 2 years old, just a baby. She's buried just outside the kitchen window that she used to look out of all the time. I thought it would be nice for her to be in a place that she could have seen from her window, a place that we will be able to see often as well.
Carrie. I'm so sorry about Leeloo
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Old 11-04-2008, 12:01 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I'm so sorry Carrie!!

Mama to my Addie Bug wool.gif (10/2008) and angel1.gif (6/2010); nursing student & childbirth educator
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Old 11-04-2008, 12:07 AM
 
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Carrie: I'm so sorry about Leeloo.
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Old 11-04-2008, 12:18 AM
 
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Leeloo Carrie

Kristen, Loving my family heartbeat.gif Sweet DH, C 11, A 9, B 7, G 4, H 1, C newbie!
2ndtri.gif Free Healthy Pregnancy & Natural Birth Series, click here!

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Old 11-04-2008, 12:40 AM
 
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Thanks, everyone. I feel your love. It truly helps. I have had such a rough postpartum time, I honestly don't know how I keep moving forward. It's just that I have no choice.

Thanks again for all your well wishes. I'm comforted by the fact that Leeloo isn't suffering anymore, and is in a better place now.

Carrie SAHM to Nora Caitlyn (5) and Finnley Dax (2) homebirthing, breastfeeding, babywearing, intactivist, doula mama!         
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Old 11-04-2008, 12:48 AM
 
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carrie, i am SO sorry about your beloved pet...
how heartbreaking.
hang in there and let yourself grieve!
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Old 11-04-2008, 12:59 AM
 
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Carrie, I'm so sorry! I can't imagine what you must be going through. to you and your family.

SAHM to DD1 9/18/08 DS 6/11/10 DD2 6/21/12 nocirc.gifcd.gifgreenthumb.gifhang.gif 

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Old 11-04-2008, 11:53 AM
 
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Hey Ladies, I need your advice...


I woke up thinking it was going to be a great day. Julien slept almost all night with one fast week up at 4am and I have the opportunity to vote today. But then I got the phone call that my grandfather passed away this morning.

I don't know how this will work out. My son is only 4 weeks old and as much as I feel I need to be at the funeral, I don't know how it works with traveling with a 4 week old. He's not supposed to get his shots until 2 months and I would have to fly from New York to Mississippi with the two boys.

What do I do? Please give me your honest inputs of what you would do if it were you.
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Old 11-04-2008, 11:59 AM
 
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Hey Ladies, I need your advice...


I woke up thinking it was going to be a great day. Julien slept almost all night with one fast week up at 4am and I have the opportunity to vote today. But then I got the phone call that my grandfather passed away this morning.

I don't know how this will work out. My son is only 4 weeks old and as much as I feel I need to be at the funeral, I don't know how it works with traveling with a 4 week old. He's not supposed to get his shots until 2 months and I would have to fly from New York to Mississippi with the two boys.

What do I do? Please give me your honest inputs of what you would do if it were you.
Oh mama, I'm so sorry.

If it were me, I wouldn't go. I can't imagine traveling with a 4 week old. I can barely take Carolyn to the grocery store without getting nervous she'll start crying. Since it's such a long trip, and you'd have to fly, that could be incredibly stressful for both of you. Would your family understand if you didn't go? Is your whole family in Mississippi? It's a tough call, but it would probably be best for Julien if you all stayed home. Again, that's just my opinion. I know my family would understand if I were in your shoes.

SAHM to DD1 9/18/08 DS 6/11/10 DD2 6/21/12 nocirc.gifcd.gifgreenthumb.gifhang.gif 

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Old 11-04-2008, 12:00 PM
 
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im so sorry to hear about your grandfather.

im cionfused, though...what do shots have to do w your trip?
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Old 11-04-2008, 01:28 PM
 
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Sorry to be behind, Carrie sorry about your kitty! Both kids have a cold. I am watching the baby's breathing like a hawk, its even harder for her than usual. Her sinuses are all gummed up and she keeps choking on the postnasal drip stuff. And my two year old has been waking up, wired for sound at 4am everyday for 2-3 weeks now. she was eating her snacks, but only 1/3 of her meals before throwing it or squishing stuff. however, now she is just refusing to eat anything but pickles. and she has been wearing her lion costume, unless it has been in the wash, since friday. last night i got her to take it off for bed by suggesting that it needed to rest in the closet with daddy's big lion costume. its all pretty funny...right??
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Old 11-04-2008, 02:03 PM
 
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I really want to go, but I honestly do know if I could imagine packing up the boys and taking them on such a trip right now. I was thinking about calling the pediatrician to get their input. I think my family might understand, but I'm afraid that most of them will not. A lot of my family is down there but my immediate family members are about 5 hours away in another part of New York and they will be flying down separately.
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Old 11-04-2008, 02:17 PM
 
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So sorry for your loss. Do what you decide is best for you and your LOs. Don't worry about what your family thinks. I'm sure your grandfather would understand.
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Old 11-04-2008, 03:05 PM
 
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Carrie, I'm really sorry about Leeloo.

Amama... I'm sorry about your loss... what a difficult time to imagine traveling.

AAM: Thank God for no lines at my voting precinct! Four years ago ds was 2 months old on voting day, and I lived in a much busier city. I waited in line with him for hours. This time was so much easier, no line at all (much, much smaller town).

I definitely think Elina's problem is dairy related. The last post I made where she had such awful poo and was so miserable happened the day after I ate a really cheesy lasagna that SIL made. (I didn't even realize I was eating dairy until I was halfway done lol, I'm not used to avoiding it!) Elina's been tons better since that day, and that lasagna was the last thing I've eaten that had major dairy in it. So we'll see, I know I have to give it a couple weeks but I dont think it's coincidence that she got much worse right after I forgot and ate dairy.

On the feeling fat thing... oh, I'm so there. It's not a number thing, it's an "I don't come close to fitting into any of my pre-preg clothes" thing. It's seeing the tummy droop instead of the muscle tone I had prior to pregnancy. I'm too impatient to have my body look "normal" again, which is unrealistic because for the second half of pregnancy I wasn't getting enough exercise or eating healthy enough for things to bounce back immediately. I've been doing crunches again and can feel the burn and how much I'm going to have to work to get back to what I used to be able to do!

Oh, and on another note, I am SO SICK of wearing pads! I'm down to liners at this point but my bottom is so irritated by them that I actually put some A&D ointment on myself last night!

Me: married to my :fireman Mama to my littles: Toby 8/04 and Elina 10/08
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Old 11-04-2008, 06:26 PM
 
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Hi everyone After almost two weeks I'm finally able to type on my laptop; baby Helena is sleeping right next to me (and has been all afternoon!)
I should be napping, of course, but reading posts here is helping me stay connected with the "outside world" and I really wanted to participate again! I wish I could respond to everyone's posts and stories individually...I really do read them all and love to hear about everyone's experiences.

AAM: I'm struggling a bit with the new-mama gig. There are some complicating factors that have made the last week more challenging. Helena definitely has acid reflux, so she can't sleep on her back without lots of reflux and discomfort. We haven't found the ideal sleep situation for her yet, so she's in the car seat or her bouncy seat for naps and such, or she sleeps on me. She is awake most of the night, and sleeps most of the day. This has been very challenging as far as my getting sleep.

Also, she was born with two "club feet" which now need to be corrected. We had an appt today with the orthopedic specialist, and her legs are now in casts. We have to go back a couple times a week for the next several weeks to change out casts and get her in braces once the casts work their magic. After that, it's a matter of wearing leg/foot braces 20 hours a day, then cut back to nighttime braces at least until she's two.

I'm tired, really tired. How do you sleep if baby is awake & fussy all night? I am afraid of getting into a night schedule, because if I sleep during the day with the baby then I am missing all of the sunlight, and could easily get PPD or seasonal affective disorder. I'm already fragile mood-wise b/c of my panic disorder. Sigh. I empathize with all you mamas on the daily weepiness...

my partner is going back to work next Monday or Tuesday, so I'll be completely alone with a fussy, acidic baby with casts on her legs. I'm not sure what to do about the mixed up day/night schedule, other than wait until her circadian rhythms kick in, but until then I am getting 2-3 hours of sleep every 24 hours.

On the positive end, our friends have been wonderful to us, bringing us yummy stews and soups and helping clean & such. I feel blessed!
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Old 11-04-2008, 10:27 PM
 
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Thank you Heddybee for that quote in your sig line. It gives me a new perspective on my labour/birth. My ND asked me about the labor/birth today and I couldn't hold back tears and couldn't talk about it. I thought I was getting past it, but I realize now it's because I'm just not thinking about it. That quote helps with healing though. Thank You..

and HUGS to you and your babe. That sounds tough. Hang in there s:

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Old 11-04-2008, 11:55 PM - Thread Starter
 
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to you Heddybee!! You are being such a strong Momma for your little one, you can do it!

Amama - I wouldn't go either. That just seems like too much too young.

Faerieshadow - glad to hear Elina is doing better! And I so hear you on the pads!! I'm even spending the bucks for the natural-no chemical ones and it's still irritating!

AAM: I've got a UTI at the very least, hoping it hasn't progressed farther than that. : I swear it's from the pads - I've been using a menstrual cup for 4 years and my body is NOT used to these pads! My midwives have got me drinking cranberry juice and emergenC and it's starting to feel a little better. This totally sucks though! I just keep telling myself - you just gave birth... you can deal with burning when urinating! But it BURNS!

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Old 11-05-2008, 12:03 AM
 
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AAM: I've got a UTI at the very least, hoping it hasn't progressed farther than that. : I swear it's from the pads - I've been using a menstrual cup for 4 years and my body is NOT used to these pads! My midwives have got me drinking cranberry juice and emergenC and it's starting to feel a little better. This totally sucks though! I just keep telling myself - you just gave birth... you can deal with burning when urinating! But it BURNS!

I had that last week, and I never even thought of the silly pads causing it. I upped my water intake, and it went away after a day or so. Incidentally I also quit wearing pads about that time too, so maybe that helped. Disposables pads are so icky. Hope you feel better soon!

Happily married, busy mom to a houseful :-)

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Old 11-05-2008, 01:09 AM
 
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Emily, can you not take CranActin? It's always worked SO quickly for me, much better than just cran juice. I hope it gets better soon! UTI's are absolutely miserable because it hurts everytime you pee...totally not like having a baby!

HeddyBee, I'm so sorry to hear of Helena's foot issues. I can only imagine how much worse it'd be for DP to return to work when things are difficult.

AmamaAgain, I'm sorry to hear about the loss of your Grandfather. That's so hard. I know how close I was to mine and it was awful when we lost him to cancer. I hope whatever you've decided to do, you can find some peace with his passing.
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Old 11-05-2008, 01:09 AM
 
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Heddy - Aw, poor Helena! You will get through this. It is just a season - it will be tough but you will make it through.

AAM - I really don't know what is wrong with me, but I'm running a fever. I feel achey all over. It started right after my postpartum checkup today with my midwife, I left, got in the car, and realized, wow, I really don't feel well. It was about an hour drive home (a very long hour feeling achey and dizzy) and when I got in I took my temp. 99.1. Normal for me is 97, maybe 97.5. So for me that's pretty high. I just feel like shit and it's so hard to care for Nora feeling so tired. I took my temp again about an hour ago, 99.2. Ugh. What on earth? Why me? On top of everything else this is just so not what I need.

Carrie SAHM to Nora Caitlyn (5) and Finnley Dax (2) homebirthing, breastfeeding, babywearing, intactivist, doula mama!         
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Old 11-05-2008, 01:12 AM
 
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^Maybe the start of a breast infection? My doula gets one everytime she has a baby and hers always starts with a fever. I hope you feel better soon!! Up your vit C and lay low. At least Nora is still young enough that you could stay in bed and still care for her. I know Ally Rae and I just hang out in bed some days for half the day.
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Old 11-05-2008, 01:24 AM
 
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Carrie. It very well could be the start of a breast infection. Mastitis usually starts with aches and a low grade temp. It is an opportunistic infection and often gets us when we're stressed and doing too much. I have had it 3 times over the years and each time I was under stress of one kind or another. I agree w/ Tara~ take some vit. C and get in bed and just snuggle Nora. Push fluids and nurse as much as you can. If it is a breast infection it is important to keep the milk flowing. Do give your mw a call and let her know, too.

Feel better, mama.

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Old 11-05-2008, 10:48 AM
 
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Thanks guys. I think my fever broke this morning. What a rough night. Chris took first shift and let me sleep until about 2 am, when he brought Nora to bed b/c he has to work this morning. I felt bad he was up that late with her but I could not function. So, after chugging lots of water all night, taking tylenol, nursing like a nutbar, and sleeping as best I could (my side of the bed is saturated, I was just sweating so much all night), my temp this morning is 97.6.

I hope if anything it is a breast infection. I was having scary thoughts of having a piece of placenta still stuck in my uterus and needing a d&c. Ugh, talk about the delusions of having a fever. As long as my temp stays down I think I'll be ok.

Thanks guys, I'll definitely keep you posted.

Carrie SAHM to Nora Caitlyn (5) and Finnley Dax (2) homebirthing, breastfeeding, babywearing, intactivist, doula mama!         
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