Is your relationship fate or choice? - Page 2 - Mothering Forums

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#31 of 43 Old 01-01-2009, 04:50 PM
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Circumstance. I never planned to marry someone from a different country or religion... it just happened because I was there. I can't imagine putting country of origin or language or religion in a personal ad!

Though, I have always found Caucasian and Mediterranean men handsome- but then, doesn't everybody?

It's not that the stay-at-home-parent gets to stay home with the kids. The kids get to stay home with a parent. Lucky Mom to DD1 (4 y) and DD2 (18 mo), Wife to Mercenary Dad
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#32 of 43 Old 01-01-2009, 06:25 PM
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G-d alone. Fate, destiny. Whatever.

Was on a program that I changed last minute in Israel. Met a half morracian Israeli (I'm American). Five months later we were married with a baby on the way.

5 years and 2 children later and I've adopted his homeland as ONE of my own.

Still miss the USA, though.!/pages/Wise-Woman-Fertility/182752565080597
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#33 of 43 Old 01-02-2009, 07:44 PM
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I say both in a way...I never really had a plan what race or ethnicity I would end up with...but, DH looked so flippin' HOTT with his dark Puerto Rican skin LOL!!!! I probably wouldn't have been interested in talking to him had he not first physically attracted me lol.....
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#34 of 43 Old 01-02-2009, 08:38 PM
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It was a very serendipitous meeting (at a conference) and then we started emailing and chatting over the Internet; he invited me to visit him for a week and... we got together. I never cared what race he is--DH is the most intelligent person I have met, and he is constantly amazing me with his ability to learn new things, to apply new ideas... He is awesome!!
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#35 of 43 Old 01-05-2009, 06:28 PM
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Bit of both. I met DH in my study abroad year. I was supposed to return to my university and complete my proposal. I was also in a relationship that was very strained by the separation. Once I met my DH, all my plans changed. I stayed and we married about 6 months after we met
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#36 of 43 Old 01-06-2009, 01:13 AM
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I always was attracted to men with darker complexions. I dated all races but did tend to lean more to Af-Am men and that is what DH is

We went to HS together and then didn't see each other for a few years. I had moved to a whole other state and he went off to war in Iraq. We then re-met and he moved out to live with me. We got married and then had a baby.

Mom of 3 sons and one daughter
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#37 of 43 Old 01-06-2009, 04:49 AM
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I never set out to find a German husband just like he never set out to find an American wife. Neither of us were looking for a relationship period. It was just the way it happened.
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#38 of 43 Old 01-15-2009, 11:15 PM
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My experience was a mixture of both fate and choice.
I went to school in San Francisco and naturally only 7% of the population is AA. Most of the people are Asian and Causasian and a few are Hispanic; therefore, I've dated mostly Asian and CC woman and a few Hispanic ones. But the reason why I also say it was a choice is because from the beginning of my childhood I've always thought girls with straight hair, tan skin and colored eyes were very "pretty".
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#39 of 43 Old 01-16-2009, 05:23 AM
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I always assumed I would marry a man from another country. Had lots of Arabic friends, severel crushes on Asian Indian guys. Love Irish accents. So what do i do?

Marry a mostly white guy from a working class family almost like mine, with my same (very different from our families') values. Just they're Catholics from New England, and mine are Southern protestants. But we LIVE in interesting places and are drawn to exotic jobs, and are raising our kids as multi culturally as possible.
So I guess for us it was fate, because I definately never pictured marrying anonother American Anglo!

Mom of 4 aspiring midwife "Friend"ly seeker
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#40 of 43 Old 01-16-2009, 01:35 PM
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For us it was fate for sure.
I never thought I would live outside Greece (my country of origin) or that I would marry someone from another country. But life had different plans. Met hubby online in 2005, took the big step of visiting him for two weeks in Montana (after moths and months of e-mailing and talking on the phone) and that was it! We couldn't imagine living without each other~We've been married for 2 years now and we are expecting our first baby in May.

Greek vegan mama to an amazing little bean born in May 2009.
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#41 of 43 Old 01-18-2009, 06:05 AM
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Ooooh, such interesting stories!

As for me (white), the man I married was nothing like I ever imagined growing up.
But I was the type who was always curious about other places/cultures...
We met in Japan while we were both working there (he's Japanese/Brazilian, born in Brazil). I wasn't particularly interested in Asian men, although I did date a few. But *he* was just special! Really exotic looking...huge dark eyes...beautiful skin...I fell so hard, lol! We met in Sept, '06, married last June
and expecting our baby this Feb!!

I don't really believe in Fate, but I think our angels had something to do with
our coming together!
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#42 of 43 Old 01-22-2009, 04:11 PM
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I never purposely went out and dated black men. In fact, DH is the first AA I'd gone out with since high school! It's not that I ever avoided inter-racial dating. I always tended to go out with men I met through school, work, or community classes, and they just happened to be mostly white. DH and I worked together in NYC and were friends. After I moved back west, DH visited me and we went to a mutual friend's wedding. After his visit we started talking on the phone everyday, the sparks began to fly, and DH moved across the country to be with me within the year. We were never romantically involved during the two years we worked together (and actually lived closer than 2,000 miles apart). It took that visit and wedding to put the thought into our heads. I guess you would call that fate!

Happily married mom to DS (Aug 09) and two furry troublemakers.

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#43 of 43 Old 01-22-2009, 04:37 PM
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I've really enjoyed reading this thread!

I'd lived in China for about 3 years already when I met DH. Since I was in China, it was only natural to date Chinese guys. Expat guys were generally not my cup of tea, nor was I theirs. Plus there were a lot more Chinese guys to choose from. Lots of expat women here refuse to date Chinese guys, and I was open to the prospect, which in some people's eyes meant I had a "thing" for Asian guys or whatever. But before I moved to China all of my boyfriends were Caucasian. I don't think I was particularly attracted to any one type, and I was never one to say "I won't date ____ guys" either.

So I guess it was circumstance. Why him in particular? He says fate, that it could only be fate that brought two people from two such different backgrounds together against such enormous odds. DH is a musician, I'm a teacher. He doesn't speak English and had never even made friends with a foreigner before I came along. But somehow we clicked and here we are. Life is funny that way.

: Mom to DS (10/29/07) and DD (12/1/09). Visit my blog in my profile to read about our lives in Beijing!
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