I just had a big realization. I turned on the tv and there was a Latin band playing, I remembered that this is what I grew up listening to, that I knew how to move instinctively, that I still understand this beautiful language (Spanish) and even still speak it with my parents...but I feel like I've lost something, and it makes me so sad. I was born here in Canada, but my parents really drilled the importance of staying strong with Spanish and with our family's customs, foods, music etc...
DH is a wonderful Canadian guy who I've loved for 12 years...we have a two year old little girl and although our goal at first was to have her be bilingual, I've totally dropped the ball. I've been obsessed with her health issues, gone through PPD and discovered that I just have plain depression, now expecting number two and feel sad thinking that I'm not sharing the foods, language, music that I was raised with with my kids. I've tried putting on some of the music for DD but she's just not really into it. She loves Latin American food and she knows that her "abuelita" (grandma) speaks Spanish and says a few words...but I wonder if it's too late now.
I'm not even sure why I'm writing this, guess I'd love to hear if anyone's gone through something similar and if you were able to get back out of it. I feel like my world runs completely in English now and I feel a bit nostalgic for when I actually THOUGHT in Spanish...ate refried beans every day and rattled on and on in Spanish.
I'd love to hear other thoughts, stories...just wanted to get this out!