Russian MIL visiting - Page 3 - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
Reply
 
Thread Tools
#61 of 91 Old 03-05-2009, 12:00 AM
EVC
 
EVC's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Bay Area, CA
Posts: 4,516
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Actually, the literal translation is "peaceful day", and it is intended as a wish for the other person, like saying "Have a great day!"
Hmmm...Could you explain? Not sure I see what you mean.

Quote:
Hm, all my ukrainian relatives were kind of supporting my view. I honestly know it as that all my life. Maybe there are local differences in view?
You know there might be. I remember always having "Kulich" in Russia, then when I moved to Ukraine, I always had "Paskha" and it WAS the same thing that I remember as "Kulich" in Russia. This confused me, so I asked my (Ukrainian) dh what the difference it, and he didn't know

PhDin' mama to dd (Oct. 2005)
EVC is offline  
#62 of 91 Old 04-21-2009, 02:33 AM
 
GoGoGirl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 688
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Now MY Russian MIL is visiting us to see our new baby. Today she went around the apartment, trying to figure out where "that terrible draft" was coming from! It reminded me of this thread, and made me laugh. Thanks for helping me know what to expect, mamas!

(She's also always chasing us with socks, trying to put them on the baby no matter how warm it is in here).

Mama lady to my lady baby born 3/09 on the kitchen floor.  Looking forward to seeing which room's floor the next one will be born on in October.  love.gif
GoGoGirl is offline  
#63 of 91 Old 05-19-2009, 01:03 PM
 
hannahi's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Posts: 409
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
(She's also always chasing us with socks, trying to put them on the baby no matter how warm it is in here).
That is so true! When my MIL came to stay with us, it was August, but she kept putting socks on ds! Plus it's kind of rubbed off on me--I don't let him go barefoot as often as other kids, for sure.
What a beautiful little girl, and a pretty name, too! How'd you get away with a non-Kazakh name?
hannahi is offline  
#64 of 91 Old 05-19-2009, 01:46 PM
 
Beene's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 342
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Hi Ladies! I am Russian and take great offense to a lot of the stereotypes perpetuated in this thread. Your MILs are individuals, are PEOPLE. It isn't like asking what to feed your pet goldfish. You make it sound as though a monster is visiting you. It is hard enough dealing with a MIL in any case, but the stereotypes only perpetuate misunderstanding and fear. Of course there are cultural differences, but your MIL is not dumb, deaf, or mute (I assume), so why not discuss these differences with her once they become apparent? What happened to sharing in cultures? Why don't you ask your husband what his mother is like as a PERSON, not a distilled stereotype. Someone wake me up. Are we still in the 50s in the midst of Cold War discrimination??? I would suggest taking her to the grocery store with you, asking her what recipes she's willing to share and having her pick out ingredients. There is no standard for what she might like to eat or cook. There is also no standard for her superstitions, beliefs, practices, e.t.c. There are cultural influences, of course, but they don't have an effect across the board. I know plenty of Russians who don't wear "house shoes" or "house clothes" or over-bundle their children. OH! And I even know Russians who SMILE ALL THE TIME! I happen to be one of them. I also know plenty of Russians who enjoy cooking all kinds of foods (just like you, I'm sure), singing all kinds of songs, e.t.c. If you are influenced by the rest of the world, why do you assume your MIL lives in some kind of Russian bubble?

Artista , Writer:, Thinker , Yogi Guru and Mama to my small, but quite amazing family!
Beene is offline  
#65 of 91 Old 05-19-2009, 02:00 PM
 
Genesis's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Hogwarts
Posts: 3,415
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

knit.gifMama to reading.gif  and  babygirl.gif
Genesis is offline  
#66 of 91 Old 05-19-2009, 03:10 PM
 
MittensKittens's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 3,058
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Beene View Post
Hi Ladies! I am Russian and take great offense to a lot of the stereotypes perpetuated in this thread. Your MILs are individuals, are PEOPLE. It isn't like asking what to feed your pet goldfish. You make it sound as though a monster is visiting you. It is hard enough dealing with a MIL in any case, but the stereotypes only perpetuate misunderstanding and fear. Of course there are cultural differences, but your MIL is not dumb, deaf, or mute (I assume), so why not discuss these differences with her once they become apparent? What happened to sharing in cultures? Why don't you ask your husband what his mother is like as a PERSON, not a distilled stereotype. Someone wake me up. Are we still in the 50s in the midst of Cold War discrimination??? I would suggest taking her to the grocery store with you, asking her what recipes she's willing to share and having her pick out ingredients. There is no standard for what she might like to eat or cook. There is also no standard for her superstitions, beliefs, practices, e.t.c. There are cultural influences, of course, but they don't have an effect across the board. I know plenty of Russians who don't wear "house shoes" or "house clothes" or over-bundle their children. OH! And I even know Russians who SMILE ALL THE TIME! I happen to be one of them. I also know plenty of Russians who enjoy cooking all kinds of foods (just like you, I'm sure), singing all kinds of songs, e.t.c. If you are influenced by the rest of the world, why do you assume your MIL lives in some kind of Russian bubble?
I was also kind of offended when someone from Serbia living in one of my home country (mixed heritage) started stereotyping me, according to how THEY expected people from that country to behave and what they were supposed to think. Concretely, this person told me "Is your kid going to be one of those who has constant colds and snot coming out of their nose all the time, because you force him to go out in the rain?", "Are you really non judgmental, or just pretending because your culture is all about being politically correct" and some other remarks along those lines. Once I got past being offended, it was kind of enlightening to see how others view people from that country. Please don't be offended, I am sure that most of these comments were meant in a lighthearted fashion - mine were.

I'm Olivia. I blog about physiological childbirth, homebirth, and unassisted homebirth!
MittensKittens is offline  
#67 of 91 Old 05-19-2009, 03:48 PM
 
Beene's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 342
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Hi MittensKittens,
Of course not all the replies in this thread offended me, just the ones with generalizations. It is my experience and understanding that most MILs offer unwanted advice/criticism/stick their nose where it doesn't belong. MOST, not all. I think it's a family dynamic issue, not specifically a cultural clash, although of course cultural differences can complicate things. I am sorry your Serbian MIL gave you a hard time and offended you, but from that I wouldn't assume that ALL Serbian women share her views or would act offensively. I was only responding to the stereotypes in the thread. I spent the last bit of my childhood in this country after growing up in Russia and if I had a penny for every time someone asked me about cold soups, communism, unbearably cold weather and grayness, e.t.c. e.t.c. e.t.c., let's just say I'd have a lot more spending money.
Anyway, no hostility meant. I just don't like the idea that because women originate from one place geographically that they are assumed to have the same personalities and hang ups.

Artista , Writer:, Thinker , Yogi Guru and Mama to my small, but quite amazing family!
Beene is offline  
#68 of 91 Old 05-19-2009, 03:49 PM
 
EdnaMarie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Posts: 6,148
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Beene View Post
Hi Ladies! I am Russian and take great offense to a lot of the stereotypes perpetuated in this thread. Your MILs are individuals, are PEOPLE. It isn't like asking what to feed your pet goldfish. You make it sound as though a monster is visiting you. It is hard enough dealing with a MIL in any case, but the stereotypes only perpetuate misunderstanding and fear. Of course there are cultural differences, but your MIL is not dumb, deaf, or mute (I assume), so why not discuss these differences with her once they become apparent? What happened to sharing in cultures? Why don't you ask your husband what his mother is like as a PERSON, not a distilled stereotype. Someone wake me up. Are we still in the 50s in the midst of Cold War discrimination??? I would suggest taking her to the grocery store with you, asking her what recipes she's willing to share and having her pick out ingredients. There is no standard for what she might like to eat or cook. There is also no standard for her superstitions, beliefs, practices, e.t.c. There are cultural influences, of course, but they don't have an effect across the board. I know plenty of Russians who don't wear "house shoes" or "house clothes" or over-bundle their children. OH! And I even know Russians who SMILE ALL THE TIME! I happen to be one of them. I also know plenty of Russians who enjoy cooking all kinds of foods (just like you, I'm sure), singing all kinds of songs, e.t.c. If you are influenced by the rest of the world, why do you assume your MIL lives in some kind of Russian bubble?
Her MIL might not speak English or she, Russian.

I lived with Russians in the former S.U. for... oh, six years.

I love that a Russian is actually denying the notion of "national character" You are the first one to suggest that of all the Russians I've met.

I love Russia but to deny that there are cultural attributes pretty much is to suggest that culture does not exist. I would not be surprised or offended to see a similar thread on a Russian board with directions for a person about to come to the U.S.

In fact, I HAVE! On odnoklassniki.ru among my DH's friends. And it was hilarious.

And nobody said her MIL was going to cook only borsch and blini, kwim? Just that she might like to provide for the family in that way. Nobody said, "stock up on beets and potatoes, hold the teriyaki." A lot of the advice was MIL stuff.

And if you think you can get by a Russian babushka with a draft in your house, then I say, time to leave Moscow. Eeeks, another stereotype.

Quote:
"Are you really non judgmental, or just pretending because your culture is all about being politically correct"
Oh, totally! I have asked that myself and I'm from here.

It's not that the stay-at-home-parent gets to stay home with the kids. The kids get to stay home with a parent. Lucky Mom to DD1 (4 y) and DD2 (18 mo), Wife to Mercenary Dad
EdnaMarie is offline  
#69 of 91 Old 05-19-2009, 04:07 PM
 
Beene's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 342
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I see your point and won't deny that there ARE cultural differences and that there is such a thing as national character. When did I deny that? It is the character of a NATION, not each person within it. I am the "first Russian" to suggest that having a laugh at a stereotype of how individuals think and what they believe based on their nationality? Then so be it. Someone always has to be the first. Language differences are hard, but not insurmountable. Her husband may have to do some translation work, but facial expressions, gestures, e.t.c. can bea great tool of communication. And fun! As for odnoklassniki, of course there are stereotypes about America in Russia! I disagree with those as well. I do have a loving babushka who is conscious of drafts. *shrug* That IS something they have been taught to believe culturally. There are similarities between people because of their culture. All I am trying to say is that there is no formula for dealing with a Russian! And contrary to what you wrote, there were discussions in this thread of things Russians stereotypically eat. There was even a suggestion that she stock up on potatoes. FYI, the amount of potatoes consumed by Russians stems from the desperate poverty in which many were raised and the necessity to eat them for lack of anything else. Russians don't LOVE all things potatoes or need them to be stocked up in the cupboard. lol.
Anyway, it's all in good fun. I'm over it. Just had to stand up for my feelings about it.

Artista , Writer:, Thinker , Yogi Guru and Mama to my small, but quite amazing family!
Beene is offline  
#70 of 91 Old 05-19-2009, 04:52 PM
 
laohaire's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2005
Posts: 7,314
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Beene View Post
Language differences are hard, but not insurmountable. Her husband may have to do some translation work, but facial expressions, gestures, e.t.c. can bea great tool of communication.
Not just language differences, but cultural differences are hard but not insurmountable. That's what this thread is about.

Relying on facial expressions and so on can be just as problematic if there are cultural differences. I'm just jumping in here because despite the fact that I work with Russians (80% of the company I work for is in Moscow and Novgorod) I really don't know much about the face-to-face culture, but I do know that there are many potential differences in non-verbal cues. Do Russians like to look each other directly in the eye when speaking? I don't know, but it's possible they find it rude if you don't - or rude if you do. How much touching is considered appropriate? Is complimenting polite or rude? (I've heard that complimenting material things is rude for Indians, because it obligates the complimentee to give the object to the complimentor). All these things can easily go awry even if the OP is sincere and friendly and open, simply because of cultural differences. Of course her MIL might have different opinions about body language and so on than most Russians - but it's not likely, and it certainly doesn't hurt to find out what Russians generally appreciate and admire.

I just don't see the problem with this - seems maybe too overly PC to say that you can't talk about cultural differences at all and pretend they don't exist or that every individual is completely different and you can't even somewhat generalize what they'll probably appreciate.

Homeschooling mama to 6 year old DD.

laohaire is offline  
#71 of 91 Old 05-19-2009, 05:03 PM
 
Beene's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 342
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by laohaire View Post
Not just language differences, but cultural differences are hard but not insurmountable. That's what this thread is about.

Relying on facial expressions and so on can be just as problematic if there are cultural differences. I'm just jumping in here because despite the fact that I work with Russians (80% of the company I work for is in Moscow and Novgorod) I really don't know much about the face-to-face culture, but I do know that there are many potential differences in non-verbal cues. Do Russians like to look each other directly in the eye when speaking? I don't know, but it's possible they find it rude if you don't - or rude if you do. How much touching is considered appropriate? Is complimenting polite or rude? (I've heard that complimenting material things is rude for Indians, because it obligates the complimentee to give the object to the complimentor). All these things can easily go awry even if the OP is sincere and friendly and open, simply because of cultural differences. Of course her MIL might have different opinions about body language and so on than most Russians - but it's not likely, and it certainly doesn't hurt to find out what Russians generally appreciate and admire.

I just don't see the problem with this - seems maybe too overly PC to say that you can't talk about cultural differences at all and pretend they don't exist or that every individual is completely different and you can't even somewhat generalize what they'll probably appreciate.
I completely agree with you. I am not in denial of cultural differences and beliefs. The eye contact, touching, all true and good points! What I have a problem with is stereotypes. Like that Russians overbundle their children. Wear house dresses and house shoes. Put socks on children no matter what. Eat tons of potatoes. Those things are misconceptions. They are not how I was raised and I was raised IN Russia. It's like somebody saying that all Americans get drugged up in hospitals to give birth and prefer c-sections. We all know that although it happens frequently in this country and may seem crazy to a Russian, we don't all think like that.

Artista , Writer:, Thinker , Yogi Guru and Mama to my small, but quite amazing family!
Beene is offline  
#72 of 91 Old 05-19-2009, 05:15 PM
 
MittensKittens's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 3,058
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Beene View Post
It's like somebody saying that all Americans get drugged up in hospitals to give birth and prefer c-sections.
Well, I am sure statistics would not completely disagree with that assumption

I am sure I shouldn't be commenting any more, because I am in Serbia, not Russia. But I can't take my child out barefooted on a sunny day without getting AT LEAST two comments about it. Really. Does observing that make me a stereo-typer? Well, actually, I am just commenting on what happens to me.

I'm Olivia. I blog about physiological childbirth, homebirth, and unassisted homebirth!
MittensKittens is offline  
#73 of 91 Old 05-19-2009, 05:26 PM
 
hannahi's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Posts: 409
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
What I have a problem with is stereotypes. Like that Russians overbundle their children. Wear house dresses and house shoes. Put socks on children no matter what. Eat tons of potatoes.
To me, knowing about these stereotypes serves a practical purpose, especially for those who haven't lived in Russia/the FSU. I don't think my MIL really knew what to expect before she came to visit us the first time--so I felt more obligated to create a comfortable environment. So I think the ultimate aim of the suggestions in this thread is to make a more harmonious home environment, not perpetuate stereotypes. This is especially important given that in the U.S., we're not used to intergenerational living. for instance, it was disconcerting for me when my MIL snapped at me for walking around the house barefoot. So I can say, yes, my MIL did all of the above (and she's not even from Russia proper), and others might do the same, in a spirit of wanting to help others' MILs better adjust to life in the U.S.
hannahi is offline  
#74 of 91 Old 05-19-2009, 05:29 PM
 
MittensKittens's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 3,058
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Beene View Post
Hi MittensKittens,
Of course not all the replies in this thread offended me, just the ones with generalizations. It is my experience and understanding that most MILs offer unwanted advice/criticism/stick their nose where it doesn't belong. MOST, not all. I think it's a family dynamic issue, not specifically a cultural clash, although of course cultural differences can complicate things. I am sorry your Serbian MIL gave you a hard time and offended you, but from that I wouldn't assume that ALL Serbian women share her views or would act offensively. I was only responding to the stereotypes in the thread. I spent the last bit of my childhood in this country after growing up in Russia and if I had a penny for every time someone asked me about cold soups, communism, unbearably cold weather and grayness, e.t.c. e.t.c. e.t.c., let's just say I'd have a lot more spending money.
Anyway, no hostility meant. I just don't like the idea that because women originate from one place geographically that they are assumed to have the same personalities and hang ups.
Oh, somehow I completely missed this post. No Serbian MIL here - no MIL at all. That's one of the great bonuses of being a solo mom!

And to add, I actually met not one, but two Serbian moms through this thread. Both of them thought it was funny to read what other people observed about their culture.

I'm Olivia. I blog about physiological childbirth, homebirth, and unassisted homebirth!
MittensKittens is offline  
#75 of 91 Old 05-19-2009, 07:25 PM
 
Beene's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 342
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I guess I could really stand to lighten up. The funny thing is that I myself tend to have many laughs at the aspects of my heritage, especially ones I feel removed from. I think this may be years of emotional baggage surfacing. I was only an awkward teen when my family came here and the most frustrating experience of all was not knowing a word of English and having children and (amazingly!) adults around me assume they knew what I was about from movies they have seen or jokes they have heard or generalizations they were able to make. I shouldn't snap at people trying to understand and instead take some time to heal.

P.S. I know that for me, and this could be because I was a child, it was much more exciting to explore the peculiarities of American culture (such as the overabundance of yogurt flavors at the grocery.....whaaaa???) than it was to find the things I left in my country here. Hope the MIL s adventurous and up for exploring.

Artista , Writer:, Thinker , Yogi Guru and Mama to my small, but quite amazing family!
Beene is offline  
#76 of 91 Old 05-20-2009, 01:11 AM
 
alekslasce's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Mexico
Posts: 44
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by MittensKittens View Post
It's funny to hear that there are so many similarities. How about this one? It always makes me laugh. In Serbia, you are never allowed to put your handbag on the floor, because this will make you go bankrupt. Have you heard about this?

I've heard of that and I'm Spaniard. Seriously, I'm familiar with several of the things posted in here. Maybe becuase a Polish mom and that's not far away from those countries??
alekslasce is offline  
#77 of 91 Old 05-20-2009, 02:04 AM
 
MittensKittens's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 3,058
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Beene View Post
I guess I could really stand to lighten up. The funny thing is that I myself tend to have many laughs at the aspects of my heritage, especially ones I feel removed from. I think this may be years of emotional baggage surfacing. I was only an awkward teen when my family came here and the most frustrating experience of all was not knowing a word of English and having children and (amazingly!) adults around me assume they knew what I was about from movies they have seen or jokes they have heard or generalizations they were able to make. I shouldn't snap at people trying to understand and instead take some time to heal.

P.S. I know that for me, and this could be because I was a child, it was much more exciting to explore the peculiarities of American culture (such as the overabundance of yogurt flavors at the grocery.....whaaaa???) than it was to find the things I left in my country here. Hope the MIL s adventurous and up for exploring.
Yes! I noticed that they mainly have just plain yoghurt here! And of the drink yoghurt kind, not the thick stuff! And it is annoying when people think they know all about you just because they know where you are from. I can imagine what it must have been like coming to the US .

I'm Olivia. I blog about physiological childbirth, homebirth, and unassisted homebirth!
MittensKittens is offline  
#78 of 91 Old 05-20-2009, 06:47 PM
 
EdnaMarie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Posts: 6,148
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I can sort of see where you are coming from (I won't pretend I know what it's like to be an immigrant) but I do think the equivalent to the generalizations listed here are not Britney or political correctness, even, but things like:

-Americans don't eat a lot of beets.
-Americans are usually used to having snack foods around the house.
-(Young) Americans do not iron their clothes unless they are really nice clothes or linen.
-For most Americans, walking is a mode of transport, or exercise, not a leisure activity (no promenade / stroll in our culture except when associated with shopping e.g. at the mall).
-American babies and children often go out without a hat or shoes, even when the weather is below 70 degrees Farenheit. (As an American, I am appalled by the whole bare-headed newborn in February thing, but it appears I am the only one.)

Etc.

It's not that the stay-at-home-parent gets to stay home with the kids. The kids get to stay home with a parent. Lucky Mom to DD1 (4 y) and DD2 (18 mo), Wife to Mercenary Dad
EdnaMarie is offline  
#79 of 91 Old 05-21-2009, 12:12 AM
 
GoGoGirl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 688
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
 
 

Mama lady to my lady baby born 3/09 on the kitchen floor.  Looking forward to seeing which room's floor the next one will be born on in October.  love.gif
GoGoGirl is offline  
#80 of 91 Old 05-21-2009, 01:52 AM
 
EdnaMarie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Posts: 6,148
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Ohhh, Kathy, if you did the patronynic, you totally deserve the 1st name. We did middle names.

It's not that the stay-at-home-parent gets to stay home with the kids. The kids get to stay home with a parent. Lucky Mom to DD1 (4 y) and DD2 (18 mo), Wife to Mercenary Dad
EdnaMarie is offline  
#81 of 91 Old 05-26-2009, 12:08 PM
 
hannahi's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Posts: 409
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Actually, Lucy didn't have a name for the first week. I was pulling for Ivy, and DH still wanted Nora. We ended up compromising on her first name. Her full name is L
T (VeryKazakhLastName)ova. So I figure with the patronymic and that crazy (to my American ears!) last name, it's Kazakh enough

We never considered a patronymic--Myktybekovich/ovna would be a real mouthful! Plus dh thought that ds having his last name was enough.

My SIL who lives in Kyrgyzstan, and is a single mom, wanted to use a middle name instead of a patronymic, but the authorities wouldn't allow her. She was trying to choose between Diana or Rabiga, and wanted to use both names. So my niece is Rabiga Alisherovna (her ex-BF is Tajik) Lastnameova.

hannahi is offline  
#82 of 91 Old 05-26-2009, 05:44 PM
 
cristeen's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Posts: 14,791
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by EdnaMarie View Post
Ohhh, Kathy, if you did the patronynic, you totally deserve the 1st name. We did middle names.
Interesting. I got saddled with both middle and patronymic. Although the patronymic isn't on any paperwork, it's still used by people in the community. I never realized some people considered it an either/or situation.

Cristeen ~ Always remembering our stillheart.gif  warrior ~ Our rainbow1284.gif  is 3, how'd that happen?!?! 

We welcomed another rainbow1284.gifstillheart.gif  warrior in May 2012!! 

2012 Decluttering challenge - 575/2012

cristeen is offline  
#83 of 91 Old 05-26-2009, 07:37 PM
 
EdnaMarie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Posts: 6,148
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by cristeen View Post
Interesting. I got saddled with both middle and patronymic. Although the patronymic isn't on any paperwork, it's still used by people in the community. I never realized some people considered it an either/or situation.
That was tongue-in-cheek... like, if you "let" your DH give a patronymic (especially instead of a middle name) then you "deserve" to choose the first name because the partner already got his cultural representation.

Especially from Asia, where "Ataullakhovna", "Bakhriddinovich" etc. are common... :

It's not that the stay-at-home-parent gets to stay home with the kids. The kids get to stay home with a parent. Lucky Mom to DD1 (4 y) and DD2 (18 mo), Wife to Mercenary Dad
EdnaMarie is offline  
#84 of 91 Old 05-27-2009, 12:27 AM
 
GoGoGirl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 688
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
 

Mama lady to my lady baby born 3/09 on the kitchen floor.  Looking forward to seeing which room's floor the next one will be born on in October.  love.gif
GoGoGirl is offline  
#85 of 91 Old 05-30-2009, 10:57 PM
 
GoGoGirl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 688
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

 

 


Mama lady to my lady baby born 3/09 on the kitchen floor.  Looking forward to seeing which room's floor the next one will be born on in October.  love.gif
GoGoGirl is offline  
#86 of 91 Old 05-31-2009, 07:30 PM
 
EdnaMarie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Posts: 6,148
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
But... then wouldn't one kid have a different last name than the rest of you???

It's not that the stay-at-home-parent gets to stay home with the kids. The kids get to stay home with a parent. Lucky Mom to DD1 (4 y) and DD2 (18 mo), Wife to Mercenary Dad
EdnaMarie is offline  
#87 of 91 Old 05-31-2009, 09:01 PM
 
GoGoGirl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 688
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

 

 


Mama lady to my lady baby born 3/09 on the kitchen floor.  Looking forward to seeing which room's floor the next one will be born on in October.  love.gif
GoGoGirl is offline  
#88 of 91 Old 06-01-2009, 01:39 AM
Dar
 
Dar's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: St. Louis, MO
Posts: 11,438
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I just wanted to thank you all for this thread. My 16 year old daughter is going to be spending the next school year in Russia (Kirov) and it's been nice to read here and get kind of an understanding of what she might expect. It sounds like a perfect place for her, except for her dislike of wearing winter hats... but maybe when it gets down below 0 she'll get over that!

 
fambedsingle1.gifSingle mom to Rain (1/93) , grad student, and world traveler earth.gif


  

Dar is offline  
#89 of 91 Old 06-02-2009, 06:02 PM
 
cristeen's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Posts: 14,791
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dar View Post
I just wanted to thank you all for this thread. My 16 year old daughter is going to be spending the next school year in Russia (Kirov) and it's been nice to read here and get kind of an understanding of what she might expect. It sounds like a perfect place for her, except for her dislike of wearing winter hats... but maybe when it gets down below 0 she'll get over that!
Eh - that depends... how much hair does she have? I spent the entire Russian winter with a scarf around my lower face, but only wore a hat when it was actually snowing. I have enough hair on my head to keep me plenty warm.

Cristeen ~ Always remembering our stillheart.gif  warrior ~ Our rainbow1284.gif  is 3, how'd that happen?!?! 

We welcomed another rainbow1284.gifstillheart.gif  warrior in May 2012!! 

2012 Decluttering challenge - 575/2012

cristeen is offline  
#90 of 91 Old 06-03-2009, 11:54 AM
 
mommy2naomi's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Chicago
Posts: 529
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I'm Russian and in my experience you will want to send her with MANY hats. It gets brutally cold there!

Also, the draft thing and no cold drinks is something they were all raised with. She's always driving me nuts with it. My mom says that EC was also a child raising standard. According to her, they had a baby book that was almost god's word on how to raise a child. And my parents are INCREDIBLY opinionated. But after a few years in the US, they've really learned to tone down the rhetoric.
mommy2naomi is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off