It is important to both of us that our child have a name that reflects his or her heritage, especially the Lebanese side of things, since American culture is pretty ubiquitous in the world these days and we live in the US for now. Yet infusing the first name with Arab heritage is not simple thing these days, when nice white people occasionally make terrorist jokes about my Arab husband... to his face! I know it is an issue that other ethnic groups--Irish, Italian, Chinese, Jewish, Polish, Hispanic and other people--have coped with in the past and still do.
We have decided to give our baby a Lebanese first name and an American middle name. We notice that many Lebanese people and Arabs, even really traditional people with no plans to leave the Arab world, seem to be searching for names that sound kind of Western or not too foreign to the Western ear, in case their kids decide to leave the Middle East. (Names like Danny/Dani or Adam, which are fine names, but not ones that attract me for my child. I like Ziad, Zain, or Kozem for a boy, though Kozem is probably "out" and my husband is having second thoughts on the others.)
An acquaintance who lives in the US told us he regrets naming his son "Habib" because it sets him up for profiling. He feels people treat his son differently because of his name. He warned us not to "do that" to our kid. On the one hand, I am really opposed to censoring culture and difference out of our lives. On the other hand, I don't want to put my child at a serious disadvantage. But if all the Arabs and everyone else gives in to this pressure to conform, we'll have even less leeway to be who we are, no matter who we are.
Another difficult thing is that my white American mother complains about all Arab name choices. To her, they are unpronounceable. They are too foreign. They don't honor the child's American heritage. A middle name is not good enough. (Is it really that hard to say Ziad? Not after you've seen it/heard it once or twice!) I am a little concerned that giving our child a non-American name will make it harder for my (often distant) family to embrace our child, but I like to believe they'll adjust quickly.
I don't want to be selfish in how we name our child, but we want to be true to our ideals and not give in to the currently prevailing anti-Arab sentiment in American/Western culture.
Thanks for listening!
Mama to a bilingual (Arabic/English) and cuddly 3 year old, and planning another peaceful homebirth in June.
Is it really that hard to say Ziad? Not after you've seen it/heard it once or twice!
Just wanted to make a side note that with that spelling your child would forever be being called "Z-eye-add." Not a big deal, but just if mispronunciations drive you nuts you might want to consider one of the alternate spellings on your list of names instead.
ETA: The advantage to your concerns being that not that many people we run into know it's an Arabic name at all -- mostly it just reads as unusual/vaguely foreign/made up. Likewise names like Idries (which I love, personally), Zain, as you said, Zaid ... well, a lot of the "Z" names come to think of it.
FWIW, I like the names you've mentioned and think you should pick the name that you and your DH like, regardless of your family's opinion (DD is Iman, pronounced EE-ma-hn, but we get I-man, ih-maan, ih-mhan...but she always corrects them though!)
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I would pronounce Ziad as "zee-AHD." Would that be correct?
Good luck finding a name that makes you and your DH happy. If the rest of the family likes it, too, I would consider that an added bonus.
I say you name your baby whatever name speaks to you. I mean, look at our president!
My husband works at a company where most of the employees (and the owners) are Lebanese. He has a good friend there with a name I think is very pleasant to the ear - Housam. Housam introduces himself to Americans as "Sam" I suppose for ease of use. I think there was a time in the past when it was practical to Americanize names but that now there is much more appreciation for our culturally traditional names.
I say give the child a name with a good meaning, a touchstone, something that looks pretty when written in Latin and Arabic script, and that is pronounceable by Lebanese and American relatives and friends. Ziad shouldn't be too hard for Americans to get the hang of...
Personally, my favorite arabic male name is Omar (Omar Sharif, anyone?).
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First off, DH's culture is present in DS's surname (last name, though in DH's culture the family name comes first,) so we didn't feel a major need for DS's given names to be specifically Chinese as well. There was actually some discussion about what DS's surname would be, but that had to do with a very complex and and unique situation.
DS's middle name was supposed to be Irish. My dad is Irish, and my mom was half Irish-American. Unfortunately, my Chinese-Canadian DH filled out the birth certificate and used the Scottish version of the name not realizing there was a difference .
DS's given name is not Tim, Timmy, or Timothy. He is named after my mothers grandfather on the Jersey Dutchy (not the same as PA Dutch, who are actually German) side. It is a very unusual name. It was always a fairly uncommon localized name, and from my research the last person to have it died in the 1930's so these days it's pretty much unique. (This is why I never give it on the internet.)
We chose this name, b/c though it is an extremely unique name that is related to DS's heritage, it is easily shortened to a very common nick name.
Is there a names that has an Arabic or Lebanese long version you like, but can easily be shortened to a common/easy nickname. An Arabic one that comes to mind is the name Ibrihim. The Dr who took out my gallbladder is Egyptian-American, and named Ibrihim. All the other Drs (well my GI and GP) just call him Abe.
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I love the name Kozem. I don't think most of the names you listed would be instantly thought of as Arab by anyone not familiar with the culture.
For all of our children, we eventually chose very mainstream first names, and more ethnic middle names. When my kids get older they can choose to go by a middle name...or you could even call your child by it, and let the "normal" name be what everyone sees on paper
Just some thoughts.
The names DH liked all seemed to have really negative connotations to non-Arabs.
We ended up giving DS his paternal grandfather's name first and my father's name second.
Since DH is Christian, the first name is a saint's name, so it doesn't sound Lebanese at all. I kind of regret not finding a Lebanese name we could both live with.
Frankly, I found it much easier to find Arabic names for girls....
I think it is really wonderful to give your child a piece of your heritage in their name. In fact, I think it's important. One of the things that I hate about my name is its lack of meaning and familial/cultural connection. There's no history to it.
As to how family feels about the name you choose, I think it wouldn't matter if you chose Jane or Mary or Jennifer, somebody's not going to like it. But, who cares? A name is, I think, the very first gift you give to your child, and the only one they'll have forever.
I love all of your names! Other Arabic names that I love are Hashim, Samya, Kira, Ferran, and Kahil. Oh, and, of course, Barak .
Not that I am biased, and particularly towards Lebanon , I would say that Arabic names are really beautiful. Irrespective on whether you stay in the US or move to the middle east, my approach and philosophy towards my future children is for them to be proud of who they are and where they come from, particularly if they are multicultural. Their names will keep them grounded and a reminder of their heritage, this is very important.
I wish you best of luck in naming your child..and I am sure that whatever name your baby will have, it will be special!
My daughter's name is Maimuna Maryam, and it's perfect for her. And most people say, "Cute!" after they figure out how to say it.
My partner and I both have unusual names. His is common in his country. Mine is common in my parents' home country. Neither is common here in America, and so both names are constantly mis-pronounced. I used to be a bit bothered by my unusual name when I was a kid, but not anymore. I am proud of my name now. Love it. Love that people remember me easily because of my name. Love that my name is a great conversation starter.
Your Arabic name choices are great! I especially like Ziad and Kozem.
I don't think I was every really considering changing our naming strategy (of first name Arabic, middle name "American"), but I appreciate you all for reading and responding to my fretting! I'm really fortunate to have access to your perspectives!
One thing that kind of surprised me was the assumption on many people's part that since the US has a black president with a Muslim-sounding name, discrimination against others with similar names will decrease. I don't think this is necessarily true, but it would be great if it turns out to work that way. I agree that a certain level of acceptance (however grudging) of Obama's "strange" name was required for his election. Yet it seems like while many in the country are excited about Obama's election, others are threatened by it. And many factors will help to determine the ultimate cultural effects of the symbolism of Obama's person.
I know that many anti-racism activists, while excited about Obama's election, worried that having a black US president would make white people forget or dismiss the very real, ongoing systemic and individual racism that people of color still face. I guess I feel it's a little dangerous to assume that his election is a sign that "everything will be alright" for Arab Americans and others from the developing world, especially considering important but sad events of repression like the sham Holy Land Foundation Trial and the discrimination that many face on a daily basis.
One thing I do find hopeful (and which a lot of you brought up!) is the fact that bi- and multi-cultural children are becoming more common in our society. (The existence of this forum is a sign of that!) Famed pollster John Zoghby, in his book, The Way We'll Be, talks about a current generation of young adults with a more internationalist perspective (he calls them the first "global generation") and believes they are less prone to racism and more accepting of cultural variation. (Disclaimer: I have actually only heard him interviewed on NPR--haven't read the book.) I hope he's right!
Mama to a bilingual (Arabic/English) and cuddly 3 year old, and planning another peaceful homebirth in June.
Both our kids have full on Arabic/muslim names, My first born is Mahmoud (after FIL) Ahmad (which is hubbys first name) Then our sec son is Kareem (hubbys aunt picked the name) Ahmad (hubbys first name)
we stuck with tradition in keeping the fathers name as the middle and last name. I acually love it makes chooseing a middle name soo easy lol.
If we have a girl her name will be Zaynab (after MIL) Ahmad (hubbys first name)
Racial profiling is unfortunate but also keep in mind that a lot of "black" or African American names are also Arab- Jamal, Aisha, etc.
My mother was also worried about my daughter's name. But she loves it now and is so proud of it. I think Ziad is a lovely name, as is Karim, as is Ahmed, Omar, Mahmood, Zaynab, Habib (Habib is sooo sweet, is it not?) and no, they are not hard to say. If anyone complains, you can point out that Elizabeth is a Hebrew name, and not at all easy for English speakers to pronounce- but we manage it because we are used to it. Same with Moses, Jebediah, and so on. Is David easier than Daoud? No. We are just used to it.
If the whole country can suddenly get used to the name Kaiden/Cayden/Kayden/Caiden (because seriously, who ever heard of that name before 2003?), I think that they should be able to manage Ziad as well.
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Cole 2/3/14 ♡ Happily unmarried to Papa since 2002 ♡
~We may not have it all together ♥ but together we have it all~
I especially like Tariq / Taric or Tarik; I like Arek too, which is actually polish but looks arab
Pick any name you want, plus any middle name. It will be fine for you, your families and the child, I am sure of it.
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