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what to expect for my kids? UPDATE POST 24

5K views 45 replies 21 participants last post by  Attached Mama 
#1 ·
Another thread here has me wondering....

My own race (that I thought was pretty apparent) has been incorrectly guessed many times in my life. Much of it was by association. People assuming my race based on my dh's race (we don't have much of any cultrual or race similarities in our backgrounds in reality). Also, in school I'd find out much later that someone who has known me for some time had been thinking the entire time that I was a particular race when in fact I was not. This happened even prior to getting together with dh. I've always been quite surprised at some of the races people thought I was comprised of.

heres what I'm wondering. What do dd and ds have to expect in this reguard? I was sometimes treated slightly differently based on what race people thought I was as opposed to what race I actually am. People will act differently depending on what kind of company they think they are in. So what are people likely to assume dd and ds are? I know they are both going to get all kinds of guesses but, I'm curious as to what people will generally assume.

so based purely on how they look (without looking at pics of dh or I or knowing our background) what is your guess? I know their skin tones and facial details will change as they age but I'm still curious!

DD
DD

DS
DS
 
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#27 ·
A woman I know is Russian and South American (if I remember right), and looks 100% like you. If she had kids I'd seriously think you were one and the same (http://iampix.bmezine.com/p/3/d9j9ep/ejmtkm0o200.jpg). I never would have guessed English from you.
Your daughter looks italian or greek to me, and your son has an asian set in his eyebrows.

Now I'm wondering how DS will turn out, DH is 1/4 Filipino and I'm some white mutt.
 
#28 ·
Your DD looks a lot like mine. She has been mistaken for Hispanic, Greek, and Italian. She's actually a Slavic Polish, French Canuk, Northern Euro mix. Your son still has that mostly European soft baby look. I have to say they're gorgeous, I'm a little biased though, because they look so much like mine.

My DH has been guessed as everything from Filipino to Syrian! I call them the lucky "random slightly brown" people. Wherever I go I stick out as obviously white. I've always wished I were more able to blend in.
 
#29 ·
oh i see iwas way off, but you definitely look more interesting than plain ol english to me, look at those lips
, I don't now any white person with those lips, you have some hint of euro-asian in you eyes as well.
 
#30 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by eepster View Post
Some places have a huge range in shades between people. I had a Cuban co-worker once who had a very similar complexion to you, she was quite pale. Then again I had a Cuban teacher once who was quite a bit darker than your DH. They were both Cuban, but there were about 12 shades between them. Depending on where your DH is from, it's quite possible that people of both your complexions are common in that nation.
: Dh is Puerto Rican, and among his family there is a wide range from unmistakably Hispanic to quite white, and some probably are quite often taken to be biracial AA/white. To see his maternal great-aunts together is fun, they are the whole spectrum by themselves, even though they are full-blood siblings. Dh himself is often mistaken for different ethnicities - Egyptian, Jewish/Israeli, Brazilian, Italian.
 
#31 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by *Louise* View Post
you definitely look more interesting than plain ol english to me
Most people think of the British Royal family when they think of English.
fondestbianca reminded me of Catherine Zeta Jones who has "chameleon" features that vary with hairstyle/color.

Quote:

Originally Posted by FondestBianca View Post
I'm nearly all English. From my mother's side a I'm only 1/32 spanish, 1/16 french, and 1/32 irish and the rest all appears to be english.
.... it's safe to say I'm english. So it's odd for me to have gotten latin and asian all of my life.
My mother's a latina from Cuba.
My maternal grandfather (mom's pop), also Cuban, was 1/2 Spaniard, 1/4 French, and 1/4 British (Welsh/English) with a Welsh/English surname- which of course, is my mother's maiden surname.


BTW, you're beautiful.
 
#32 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by FondestBianca View Post
From my fathers side I have just (as in yesterday) found out that my family was of the first settlers to the US from england. A great times-a-zillion grandfather founded Newark, NJ (and was the great times something grandfather of pres eisenhower's wife)and his wife was actually the first white woman to spend the summer there in NJ. We settled much of conniticut prior to that as well. Interesting. I haven't nailed down my father's mother's side exactly but, it appears to be england as well. Now, while that is only back to the 1500's it's safe to say I'm english.
Actually very few of the original European settlers of New Jersey were English, since NJ in the 1500s and 1600s was a Dutch colony, just like New York (aka New Amsterdam.)

Not all the Dutch settlers were actually Dutch anyway. Holland at the time attracted people from many other northern European countries (like Polland, and Belgium) to settle the Hudson Valley. Many africans were also brought to NJ. Names were often Dutchified to make them pronounced easily in Dutch (example: Zabriskie was a a Pollish family that moved to Amstersam then settled in Hackensack NJ.) Then again after NJ was taken over by the British names were often changed again, this time anglosised to be more easily pronounced by the English (example: Covenhoven was changed to Connover.)

So, having an English sounding name as a NJ settler doesn't mean being english.
 
#33 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by eepster View Post
Actually very few of the original European settlers of New Jersey were English, since NJ in the 1500s and 1600s was a Dutch colony, just like New York (aka New Amsterdam.)

Not all the Dutch settlers were actually Dutch anyway. Holland at the time attracted people from many other northern European countries (like Polland, and Belgium) to settle the Hudson Valley. Many africans were also brought to NJ. Names were often Dutchified to make them pronounced easily in Dutch (example: Zabriskie was a a Pollish family that moved to Amstersam then settled in Hackensack NJ.) Then again after NJ was taken over by the British names were often changed again, this time anglosised to be more easily pronounced by the English (example: Covenhoven was changed to Connover.)

So, having an English sounding name as a NJ settler doesn't mean being english.
my surname began in england. I've been able to trace back to sussex. that is where the first generation came from and moved to mass, conneticut, and nj from there. 3 online sources site my family as arriving on the mayflower. prior to england in the mid 1500's I am not sure where I began. there would have been a name change around that time. my dad's mother's side that I have yet to dig into may have some origination outside england judgeing by one of last names. Dutch I imagine would be the front runner.... but still prodominantly english.
 
#35 ·
something I did dig up today is quite curious. A direct relitive of mine was one of about 20 people listed at my family's origional homested town in conneticut who owned a slave. That in itself isn't unusual for those times... what is unusual is the info about said slave. At a particular date the town began documenting african americans as they did not do so previously. On this first list was a "Huldah", classified as a servant to a decan (my family member). This was in 1818. The strange part was that this so-called "servant" died at the age of 9 months.

So was she or he just called a servant by default?
Why was he or she listed to my white relitive (or listed at all for that matter) and why were neither of her parents listed? This makes me wonder about just how much races may have mixed back then and hid. This could very well be a way to hide a mixed baby, by listing it as a servant and possibly to the white man who fathered he or she.... idk? curious.
 
#36 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by LoMaH View Post
Most people think of the British Royal family when they think of English.
fondestbianca reminded me of Catherine Zeta Jones who has "chameleon" features that vary with hairstyle/color.

My mother's a latina from Cuba.
My maternal grandfather (mom's pop), also Cuban, was 1/2 Spaniard, 1/4 French, and 1/4 British (Welsh/English) with a Welsh/English surname- which of course, is my mother's maiden surname.


BTW, you're beautiful.
I think of the british royal family when I think of english
. You'd think I'd know better.

and thank you btw
 
#37 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by *Louise* View Post
oh i see iwas way off, but you definitely look more interesting than plain ol english to me, look at those lips
, I don't now any white person with those lips, you have some hint of euro-asian in you eyes as well.
I think I'm the only one in my fam with fuller lips now that I think about it. Thinner lips on my mom's side. Dads side seems to be pretty average. My brother takes after my mom's side. Maybe I need to sit down and have a heart to heart with my mom.
joking of course
 
#38 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by wild fire child View Post
A woman I know is Russian and South American (if I remember right), and looks 100% like you. If she had kids I'd seriously think you were one and the same (http://iampix.bmezine.com/p/3/d9j9ep/ejmtkm0o200.jpg). I never would have guessed English from you.
Your daughter looks italian or greek to me, and your son has an asian set in his eyebrows.

Now I'm wondering how DS will turn out, DH is 1/4 Filipino and I'm some white mutt.
oh no... there are more of us! There was a girl I was totally unrelated to that I went to school with that I was mistaken for all the time. We easily looked like sisters. She was pale as the day is long though. An older, mexican guy at a gym I used to go to told me I looked nearly identicle to his much younger sister. Often time people tell me I look familiar or ask, "oh, you're so-and-so's friend, relitive, etc?" to which I say, "I have no idea who that person is!"

did you have any other pics of her?
 
#40 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by FondestBianca View Post
my surname began in england. I've been able to trace back to sussex. that is where the first generation came from and moved to mass, conneticut, and nj from there. 3 online sources site my family as arriving on the mayflower.
The is a decent chance of them inter marrying with the NJ Dutch though. Though "NJ Dutchy" on my maternal grandfathers side of the family, the actual countries of origin for most of our family are pretty varied. The the male line who carries the surname is really Dutch, from the very first female line you get Belgium, and there is a female ancestor who came down from Mass and was traced back to the Mayflower. The "NJ Dutch" are a complex bunch. The name alone only tells you where one line of the family comes from. So look at all those matrilinear branches and who knows what you'll find.

That said, since you mention Newark, IIRC there was a pretty strongly English settlement in that area.
 
#41 ·
As far as race mixing goes, it's the most natural thing in the world, and NOBODY who's been in the states for more than a couple generations is "pure" anything. Is it any wonder that recessive, or long unexpressed genetics pop occasionally? I am sure there were a lot of mixed race folks way back in the colonial days, just like in countries all over the world. I just thing it's incredibly sad that there has been so much social pressure to hide it. I hope that my grandkids can be all colors of the rainbow and celebrate their WHOLE heritage without all the ugliness from others.
It really gives me hope to see all the folks here raising such varied and open-minded kids!!
 
#42 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by mntnmom View Post
As far as race mixing goes, it's the most natural thing in the world, and NOBODY who's been in the states for more than a couple generations is "pure" anything. Is it any wonder that recessive, or long unexpressed genetics pop occasionally? I am sure there were a lot of mixed race folks way back in the colonial days, just like in countries all over the world. I just thing it's incredibly sad that there has been so much social pressure to hide it. I hope that my grandkids can be all colors of the rainbow and celebrate their WHOLE heritage without all the ugliness from others.
It really gives me hope to see all the folks here raising such varied and open-minded kids!!
I've always agreed with this sentiment and roll my eyes everytime someone says, oh, I'm 100% this or that. A also find racism just about the most silly thing in the world forthe same reason. Since we're all at least a tiny bit of everthing it would seem sort of strange to be racist as you'd have to be racist toward yourself in the process. I'm certainly glad you don't have to hide mixed relationships and children today. I know some still choose to because of family pressure but, at least we don't have to for our safety in this country. We're not quite there yet as a society but, we've come a very long way!
 
#43 ·
Quote:
Welcome to the "random brown people" club, where it's more fun to keep them guessing.
LOL! My mom is German but everybody thinks she's Mexican. It's hilarious. And I've had white women come up and ask me where I go to get "that wonderful tan". And I'm like: "Umm.... Born with it."

A friend of Thomas Jefferson wrote him once to tell him that he'd developed the theory that racism and slavery would have to end simply because there was so much mixing that it was becoming too difficult to tell who was white, black, etc. It got to the point where they were having law suit after law suit and dragging in "expert" testimony to determine people's race (in inheritance cases).
 
#46 ·
My guess was first Spanish and then Italian for your daughter. Couldn't tell with your son. After looking at you and your husband I thought you were Italian and your husband something Indian or other Mid Eastern like Pakistani.

Bianca is a popular Italian name so I'd guess a lot of people would think you were Italian.

Your family is really beautiful !!
And has an awesome cultural heritage.

My husband is Puerto Rican. He has been mistaken for Italian many times and around 9/11 was constantly being mistaken for Iraqi.
 
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