what to expect for my kids? UPDATE POST 24 - Mothering Forums

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Old 02-15-2009, 11:30 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Another thread here has me wondering....

My own race (that I thought was pretty apparent) has been incorrectly guessed many times in my life. Much of it was by association. People assuming my race based on my dh's race (we don't have much of any cultrual or race similarities in our backgrounds in reality). Also, in school I'd find out much later that someone who has known me for some time had been thinking the entire time that I was a particular race when in fact I was not. This happened even prior to getting together with dh. I've always been quite surprised at some of the races people thought I was comprised of.

heres what I'm wondering. What do dd and ds have to expect in this reguard? I was sometimes treated slightly differently based on what race people thought I was as opposed to what race I actually am. People will act differently depending on what kind of company they think they are in. So what are people likely to assume dd and ds are? I know they are both going to get all kinds of guesses but, I'm curious as to what people will generally assume.

so based purely on how they look (without looking at pics of dh or I or knowing our background) what is your guess? I know their skin tones and facial details will change as they age but I'm still curious!

DD
DD

DS
DS

~TRACY, wife to loving dh, mommy to dd (10/05), ds(12/08), 3 kitties, & 2 pups.
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Old 02-15-2009, 11:43 PM
 
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I really can't tell this kind of thing very well. My first guess for your dd was caucasian/hispanic and then after looking at both of them I thought maybe also asian.

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Old 02-15-2009, 11:57 PM
 
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I really can't tell this kind of thing very well. My first guess for your dd was caucasian/hispanic and then after looking at both of them I thought maybe also asian.
I thought Hispanic and Caucasian first, and possibly Asian as well. Your Dd looks a bit like she could be the child of a friend from Kyrgyzstan.

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Old 02-16-2009, 03:15 AM
 
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It's so hard to say. They look very much like my DD, who's biracial (AA/white). http://images3.pnimedia.com/GetImage...OA--/image.jpg Especially your DS's hair and hairline. Exactly like hers when she was an infant!

So my gut says "well, of course, they're AA/white biracial." But that's just a product of my experience and is pretty random, when I think about it. No other reason or reasoning behind it.

Whatever race anyone thinks they are, NOBODY could deny that they are beautiful little human beings!
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Old 02-16-2009, 03:42 AM
 
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I would say white, but those are really great photos!

It's not that the stay-at-home-parent gets to stay home with the kids. The kids get to stay home with a parent. Lucky Mom to DD1 (4 y) and DD2 (18 mo), Wife to Mercenary Dad
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Old 02-16-2009, 06:17 AM
 
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From the first picture of you DD I would guess Latina, but from the second I would guess Mediterrean. Your DS is still in that generic baby stage.

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Old 02-16-2009, 08:56 AM
 
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I seem to make out some Asian features, perhaps Arabic as well? I have learnt not to judge though. I look as if I could be from anywhere, and people often assume that I come from wherever they come from. My kids, on the other hand, have blond hair and blue eyes! Everything is possible. And both your kids are really gorgeous - DD has great hair!

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Old 02-16-2009, 12:42 PM
 
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I couldn't tell at all. Asian, Hispanic, Native American? No idea. People can't usually tell with my children either. Don't you think my DD looks black? It's glaringly obvious to me.
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Old 02-16-2009, 02:05 PM
 
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I thought your DD looks Turkish, but then I'm a bit pre-disposed to that direction. Your DS just looks like a really cute baby to me.
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Old 02-16-2009, 03:39 PM - Thread Starter
 
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this is all so interesting to me. I used to think that because of lighter skin tones people would just always assume they were both white, no mix... then I remembered just how many weird guesses people had for even me... and my dh (who I think is pretty easy to guess).

I'll fill in the blanks after a few more posts.

~TRACY, wife to loving dh, mommy to dd (10/05), ds(12/08), 3 kitties, & 2 pups.
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Old 02-16-2009, 04:18 PM
 
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After posting I looked at your picture of you and DH, and my guess is now a bit different.

I'm Olivia. I blog about physiological childbirth, homebirth, and unassisted homebirth!
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Old 02-16-2009, 04:30 PM
 
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They look mixed, not sure what, latin americans, middle eastern, arab, native americans, maybe a little bit of everything.

ETA After I looked at your picture i still have no idea, maybe you look form latin america, and your Dh India or something, wild guess here.

ETA again, your Dh has some awesome perfect teeth.

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Old 02-16-2009, 06:42 PM
 
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Your dd looks like many little brown-eyed, brown-haired girls I've seen growing up in western PA. We have a lot of people with eastern European (Polish) and Italian ethnic backgrounds.

Honestly to me your kids look like a lot of "white" kids I've seen, but also like some racially mixed kids I've seen. I think you're right that their ethnic appearance would be influenced somewhat by who they were with at the time. I remember some time ago seeing some pictures of people with African American heritage who chose to "pass" as white. They absolutely looked just like many of the darker-complected eastern europeans or mediterranians.

Something funny--my brother was adopted from Korea. He is 100% Korean. My dad is a euro-mutt, but with pale skin and very dark, dark brown hair and eyes. We used to laugh and laugh everytime one of them came home with a story about someone unaware of the adoption saying "Oh! You look just like your father!" or "Your son is a spitting image of you!".

My kids could "pass" for a number of different ethnicities, also depending on the context of the situation (and how short their hair is. ) My latest baby looked just like the baby pictures of my Korean brother. And my baby is caucasian/Ethiopian. I saw my oldest son's "twin" in a movie set in Morroco. Even though my husband is from southern Ethiopia, who's people look very different from the Amhara's of the north, our oldest son would fit right in with a crown of Amhara children except that his hair is just slightly lighter than most Amhara's.


By the way, your kids are gorgeous. ANd now I'm really curious about their ethnicities, having made my guess.
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Old 02-16-2009, 06:44 PM
 
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then I remembered just how many weird guesses people had for even me... and my dh (who I think is pretty easy to guess).
What nationality you look like, changes with your hair color. For example when you have lots of carmel highlights going on you look very Mediterrean, but when it a solid darker color it makes you look more Celtic, like a "Black Irish" or from the Britany region of France. Your a bit of a chameleon.

I don't know what your DH is. He kind of looks like a guy I used to work with. Everybody thought he was Indian when they saw him, but he was actually from one of th Spanish speaking Carribean Islands (which one exactly slips my mind, but it wasn't Cuba.) The Carribean, is like that though. People from all over the world settled there, so people from the Carribean can look like they came from almost anywhere.

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Old 02-16-2009, 07:46 PM - Thread Starter
 
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They look mixed, not sure what, latin americans, middle eastern, arab, native americans, maybe a little bit of everything.

ETA After I looked at your picture i still have no idea, maybe you look form latin america, and your Dh India or something, wild guess here.

ETA again, your Dh has some awesome perfect teeth.
he'd appreciate the teeth comment. Although you can't tell in that picture a few of his teeth are chipped from years of boxing and even though the chips aren't all that bad he seems to think so.

~TRACY, wife to loving dh, mommy to dd (10/05), ds(12/08), 3 kitties, & 2 pups.
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Old 02-16-2009, 07:49 PM - Thread Starter
 
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What nationality you look like, changes with your hair color. For example when you have lots of carmel highlights going on you look very Mediterrean, but when it a solid darker color it makes you look more Celtic, like a "Black Irish" or from the Britany region of France. Your a bit of a chameleon.

I don't know what your DH is. He kind of looks like a guy I used to work with. Everybody thought he was Indian when they saw him, but he was actually from one of th Spanish speaking Carribean Islands (which one exactly slips my mind, but it wasn't Cuba.) The Carribean, is like that though. People from all over the world settled there, so people from the Carribean can look like they came from almost anywhere.
I've had so many haircolors over the last few years. So many that I actually compiled a slide show of photos on photobucket outlining the zillions of colors and styles in the last 2 years. Everything from solid blonde to black and everything in between. Naturally it's a dark-medium brown.... I think

~TRACY, wife to loving dh, mommy to dd (10/05), ds(12/08), 3 kitties, & 2 pups.
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Old 02-16-2009, 07:55 PM
 
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I don't want to guess your son's ethnic background because he is so young but your daughter looks like she has a combination of Asian/South American features. But...she definitely looks more Asian to me in her eyes, mouth, nose, and shape of her face. I used to live in Chinatown and many Chinese children look a lot like her but with different hair. Both of your children are very beautiful.
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Old 02-16-2009, 07:56 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Your dd looks like many little brown-eyed, brown-haired girls I've seen growing up in western PA. We have a lot of people with eastern European (Polish) and Italian ethnic backgrounds.

Honestly to me your kids look like a lot of "white" kids I've seen, but also like some racially mixed kids I've seen. I think you're right that their ethnic appearance would be influenced somewhat by who they were with at the time. I remember some time ago seeing some pictures of people with African American heritage who chose to "pass" as white. They absolutely looked just like many of the darker-complected eastern europeans or mediterranians.

Something funny--my brother was adopted from Korea. He is 100% Korean. My dad is a euro-mutt, but with pale skin and very dark, dark brown hair and eyes. We used to laugh and laugh everytime one of them came home with a story about someone unaware of the adoption saying "Oh! You look just like your father!" or "Your son is a spitting image of you!".

My kids could "pass" for a number of different ethnicities, also depending on the context of the situation (and how short their hair is. ) My latest baby looked just like the baby pictures of my Korean brother. And my baby is caucasian/Ethiopian. I saw my oldest son's "twin" in a movie set in Morroco. Even though my husband is from southern Ethiopia, who's people look very different from the Amhara's of the north, our oldest son would fit right in with a crown of Amhara children except that his hair is just slightly lighter than most Amhara's.


By the way, your kids are gorgeous. ANd now I'm really curious about their ethnicities, having made my guess.
"by association" seems to be the biggest influence in those not so easily determined. I guess I just find it funny that dh and I can have 8 shades between us and people still assume we are of the same race. But then I'm probably just as bad with guessing others.

In high school I had a "twin". We looked so much alike that even our own parents and each other could understand how we were mistaken for one another. Although our skin color wasn't a match people still called me "katie" pretty often.

~TRACY, wife to loving dh, mommy to dd (10/05), ds(12/08), 3 kitties, & 2 pups.
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Old 02-16-2009, 08:03 PM
 
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Well race is a tricky thing, I don't know which race is you and your DH can pass as the same one, but in latin america you can find people in every single shade, and we still are latin americas, you look like you are latin american to me, your dh I don't know I guess he could be too but he looks more Indian to me for some reason and you definitely don't look indian to me

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Old 02-16-2009, 10:00 PM
 
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FondestBianca
Cute kids.

Your little girl can pass for many nationalities. Your son's too young to tell.

I'd believe any combination you give us, but I'm guessing that lots of people would guess Hispanic.

I also peeked at the picture of you and your dh.
I still think a lot of people in the states would think you're both Hispanic. (it's like the catchall for anyone whose race/ethnicity is questionable).

Based on your looks alone, I might guess Hispanic is **possible** for both of you, but that you and your dh were from different racial ancestries/makeup.
Hispanics can have ancestry from any part of the world and be a member from any race or combination of races.

BTW- If I must, I'd guess your dh might be central american (amerindian + european ancestry). (I might be totally off-base so I'm glad I'm not betting any $$ here.)
You're harder to pin.
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Old 02-16-2009, 10:22 PM
 
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"by association" seems to be the biggest influence in those not so easily determined. I guess I just find it funny that dh and I can have 8 shades between us and people still assume we are of the same race. But then I'm probably just as bad with guessing others.
Some places have a huge range in shades between people. I had a Cuban co-worker once who had a very similar complexion to you, she was quite pale. Then again I had a Cuban teacher once who was quite a bit darker than your DH. They were both Cuban, but there were about 12 shades between them. Depending on where your DH is from, it's quite possible that people of both your complexions are common in that nation.

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Old 02-16-2009, 10:34 PM
 
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Some places have a huge range in shades between people. I had a Cuban co-worker once who had a very similar complexion to you, she was quite pale. Then again I had a Cuban teacher once who was quite a bit darker than your DH. They were both Cuban, but there were about 12 shades between them. Depending on where your DH is from, it's quite possible that people of both your complexions are common in that nation.
Yeah.
2 Cubans can have very different racial backgrounds.

It's just like being "American."
American isn't a race but a nationality.
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Old 02-17-2009, 12:50 AM
 
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Welcome to the "random brown people" club, where it's more fun to keep them guessing.


Your son, I can't tell yet. Your daughter looks part-Asian or possible part-Native American.

2 happy kids makes for a happy mother.

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Old 02-19-2009, 06:50 PM - Thread Starter
 
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so heres the scoop.

Dh's dad is from the southern most part of Mexico. Dh and his sister are first generation American citizens from his dad's side. His mom is a bit over half Native American. Her father, full blooded Sue and her mother is part Native and part white (of unknown to me european background). So dh is 1/2 Mexican, over 1/4 native american (mostly sue) and the rest is some combo of lighter skinned background. People often think dh is asian or Indian when in fact he's isn't even close! When you put dh is his natural element people begin to make more accurate guesses .

now apparently I'm more confusing... this could very much have to do with my constant hair color changes, true. I'm nearly all English. From my mother's side a I'm only 1/32 spanish, 1/16 french, and 1/32 irish and the rest all appears to be english. From my fathers side I have just (as in yesterday) found out that my family was of the first settlers to the US from england. A great times-a-zillion grandfather founded Newark, NJ (and was the great times something grandfather of pres eisenhower's wife)and his wife was actually the first white woman to spend the summer there in NJ. We settled much of conniticut prior to that as well. Interesting. I haven't nailed down my father's mother's side exactly but, it appears to be england as well. Now, while that is only back to the 1500's it's safe to say I'm english. So it's odd for me to have gotten latin and asian all of my life.

So this all makes our kiddos 1/4 mexican, about 1/7 or 1/6 Native American, and the rest mostly English.

~TRACY, wife to loving dh, mommy to dd (10/05), ds(12/08), 3 kitties, & 2 pups.
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Old 02-20-2009, 05:08 AM
 
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I thought DD would be Latina of some sort, and DS would be caucasian...hard to tell at this age though!
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Old 02-20-2009, 05:10 AM
 
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BTW, beautiful parents, beautiful kiddos!
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Old 02-20-2009, 07:36 AM
 
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A woman I know is Russian and South American (if I remember right), and looks 100% like you. If she had kids I'd seriously think you were one and the same (http://iampix.bmezine.com/p/3/d9j9ep/ejmtkm0o200.jpg). I never would have guessed English from you.
Your daughter looks italian or greek to me, and your son has an asian set in his eyebrows.

Now I'm wondering how DS will turn out, DH is 1/4 Filipino and I'm some white mutt.
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Old 02-20-2009, 07:53 AM
 
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Your DD looks a lot like mine. She has been mistaken for Hispanic, Greek, and Italian. She's actually a Slavic Polish, French Canuk, Northern Euro mix. Your son still has that mostly European soft baby look. I have to say they're gorgeous, I'm a little biased though, because they look so much like mine.
My DH has been guessed as everything from Filipino to Syrian! I call them the lucky "random slightly brown" people. Wherever I go I stick out as obviously white. I've always wished I were more able to blend in.

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Old 02-20-2009, 10:51 AM
 
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oh i see iwas way off, but you definitely look more interesting than plain ol english to me, look at those lips , I don't now any white person with those lips, you have some hint of euro-asian in you eyes as well.

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Old 02-20-2009, 05:36 PM
 
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Some places have a huge range in shades between people. I had a Cuban co-worker once who had a very similar complexion to you, she was quite pale. Then again I had a Cuban teacher once who was quite a bit darker than your DH. They were both Cuban, but there were about 12 shades between them. Depending on where your DH is from, it's quite possible that people of both your complexions are common in that nation.
: Dh is Puerto Rican, and among his family there is a wide range from unmistakably Hispanic to quite white, and some probably are quite often taken to be biracial AA/white. To see his maternal great-aunts together is fun, they are the whole spectrum by themselves, even though they are full-blood siblings. Dh himself is often mistaken for different ethnicities - Egyptian, Jewish/Israeli, Brazilian, Italian.

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