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Racial identification

6K views 90 replies 26 participants last post by  Susuwatari 
#1 ·
Last thread for today...

I was talking with my DH about college and scholarships and such. I mentioned that I'd gotten preferential treatment (although I didn't need it as I was a fantastic candidate) because I was identified as black. He thought that was kind of weird and then he said, "Well, our kids won't be able to get that since they're white." Umm... okay. His point is that if I were to identify the children as "black" so that they get preferential treatment it isn't fair to the children who actually look black. After all, someone who is black but looks white doesn't have the same life experience that someone does who actually looks black.

Is the one-drop rule dead already? I don't know.

The organizations around here are always asking us to list our children as "black" as they get additional funding and stuff for it. Seems sort of strange to list white-looking children as black, though. And not every form has "other". Should I just leave it blank, check both, or what?

What do you do?
 
#77 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by Missy View Post
Yes, thank you!!! From what I've heard, of the relatives my husband has who made the decision to pass, it wasn't a matter of "letting them live better". There was a choice made by those who crossed, a choice to leave that family. My husband's family knows of relatives who crossed the color line, and "not outing them" has nothing to do with letting them live a better life. There were also those who passed during the day, for work, and returned home at night. But that was a little different.
Do you have a source that you can recommend about the topic so that someday I can read further?
 
#78 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by Minerva View Post
Would you like to hear about the results of having those so-called opportunities?

I've been making contact with relatives/families we haven't spoken to in 80+ years. You know what? They're telling me that they knew about us all this time, and they were told by their elders that they weren't allowed to contact us because we crossed the colour line.
Were you given the reasons?

I'm probably way off, I was under the impression from something I read long ago that it would jeopardize the person crossing. There's probably much more to it than that, huh?
 
#79 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by futurmama8 View Post
Easier to who? you? It is not easier because if you are natural all you have to do is put some water in it, pull it out, oil it a little bit and then go. But if you get it straightened you have to take all the time to get it straight and have to go throughout the day making sure you don't get it wet. I have been natural for about 7 months and I would take natural hair over straightened hair anyday, having to wrap it every night and making sure not to get it wet. I have a better relationship with my hair now that it is the way it is supposed to be.

Why are you trying to tame your hair? Just let it be how it is supposed to be, you were born with it that way so that is how it is supposed to be? That is the same argument for people who circumcise.. because its easier to clean
but that is a big misconception and its a misconception that naturally kinky or wavy hair is harder but its not it is the way it is supposed to be and it wasn't meant to be tamed
It's a big misconception that all AA hair is alike. What's "easy" for some isn't necessarily easy for others. Your experience is just that, yours. As is your relationship with *your* hair.

To be plain:

Your.Relationship.With.Your.Hair.Is.Not.Mine. Or Vanessa's. Or anyone else's.

Asking someone why they "tame" their hair --- and likening it to circumcision
--- isn't really warranted at all, IMO.
 
#80 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by Barbamama View Post
It's a big misconception that all AA hair is alike. What's "easy" for some isn't necessarily easy for others. Your experience is just that, yours. As is your relationship with *your* hair.

To be plain:

Your.Relationship.With.Your.Hair.Is.Not.Mine. Or Vanessa's. Or anyone else's.

Asking someone why they "tame" their hair --- and likening it to circumcision
--- isn't really warranted at all, IMO.
She said tame not me.. read her post. And I am not saying what is for me is for everyone, I was simply tellin her that it is not always easier to have straight hair as she said it is.

That is the best way I can describe being natural or chemically processing your hair. You are permanently changing your hair and their is no way to get that back unless you cut it all off.. ofcourse it is not as permanent as circumcision because you can get your hair back in some cases. Circumcision is permanently altering a body part (without the persons say of course so a difference there also) so that it will look different and will be easier to clean and take care of as VanessaS said it was with her hair. With a foreskin you can never get the actual foreskin back but you can restore it as best as it can be done. I know this is not a perfect example nothing is but I used it because most people get their child circumcised because they THINK it is easier and that is the only reason I used it. Now if you like getting a perm because you just do then fine I don't care as long as you love it. But I just used that example because VanessaS said permed or straightened hair was easier. Hope you that explanation is better.
 
#83 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by futurmama8 View Post
She said tame not me.. read her post. And I am not saying what is for me is for everyone, I was simply tellin her that it is not always easier to have straight hair as she said it is.

That is the best way I can describe being natural or chemically processing your hair. You are permanently changing your hair and their is no way to get that back unless you cut it all off.. ofcourse it is not as permanent as circumcision because you can get your hair back in some cases. Circumcision is permanently altering a body part (without the persons say of course so a difference there also) so that it will look different and will be easier to clean and take care of as VanessaS said it was with her hair. With a foreskin you can never get the actual foreskin back but you can restore it as best as it can be done. I know this is not a perfect example nothing is but I used it because most people get their child circumcised because they THINK it is easier and that is the only reason I used it. Now if you like getting a perm because you just do then fine I don't care as long as you love it. But I just used that example because VanessaS said permed or straightened hair was easier. Hope you that explanation is better.
Comparing anything to circumcision on these boards is incindiary. Surely you know that.

I read her post. And yours, too. You're the one who's not reading.
I won't go back through your post and rip it apart b/c it's not worth the time.

But I will say that it's funny you assume I have a perm. Or otherwise straighten my hair. I don't. I've been natural for the past 17 years compared to your 7 mos. But I get the fact that what works for me doesn't necessarily work for someone else.

Quote:

Originally Posted by futurmama8 View Post
I agree Williamsmama, We got very off track from the point of this thread. Maybe somone else can start a thread about it if it matters to anyone. We got totally off topic I apologize.
Um, yeah.
 
#84 ·
I'm multiracial... Dad is of French, British, Scots and Dutch ancestry, and Mom is Japanese (her mother and paternal grandparents are immigrants).

When I was applying for state colleges, I listed my race as white, because there were a few schools where calling myself Asian was not going to be a benefit.
 
#85 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by Barbamama View Post
Comparing anything to circumcision on these boards is incindiary. Surely you know that.

I read her post. And yours, too. You're the one who's not reading.
I won't go back through your post and rip it apart b/c it's not worth the time.

But I will say that it's funny you assume I have a perm. Or otherwise straighten my hair. I don't. I've been natural for the past 17 years compared to your 7 mos. But I get the fact that what works for me doesn't necessarily work for someone else.

Um, yeah.
When I said "you" in my post I wasn't specifically talking about you, maybe I should've wrote "a person" or something because I don't know even know what you look like so I wouldn't assume. I don't think its a need to rip anything apart, we are on here to talk and have conversations and I am sorry you didn't like my comparison and I also apologize if it offended you as that was not my intent. I also get the fact that everyone doesn't like the same things guess you misunderstood me. That whole topic is frivilous and I am not going to harp on it anymore. so Umm yeah
 
#86 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by WC_hapamama View Post
I'm multiracial... Dad is of French, British, Scots and Dutch ancestry, and Mom is Japanese (her mother and paternal grandparents are immigrants).

When I was applying for state colleges, I listed my race as white, because there were a few schools where calling myself Asian was not going to be a benefit.
Curious. How so?
I genuinely am not sure I get it...
 
#87 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by Missy View Post
I was actually coming back earlier to respond to you that the people I see most offended by White and Black are those individuals who believe that race is imaginary, a social construct that won't exist if we refuse to acknowledge it. Which, to me, is bull. Like someone saying that you can find racism anywhere if you look hard enough. Most of us don't have to look for racism, and the implication--that, yes, I've even seen in this forum--that people have to look for racism is offensive. So, please, don't use those descriptives in quotes, because it caters to that thought process and implies that racism is not significant and is somehow the creation of those most impacted.
Missy, thanks for the explanation. Will do.
I actually wasn't aware that the reason was to deny the existence of racism. I had assumed it had something to do with a negative personal experience. Although, I responded to the one poster that I disagreed that people didn't see race or have a need to identify with one, I fell for misusing race w/o understanding why 1st.
 
#88 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by WilliamsMama View Post
Curious. How so?
I genuinely am not sure I get it...
I was applying for college, in California, before they repealed affirmative action. Using the Asian label would have actually worked against me when applying to certain schools that had a high number of Asian applicants.
 
#89 ·
to comment on many directions...

I check both black and white if I can. "other' if I can't. "black" if there is no "other" because, well, they look it. (honestly, they look biracial...like somebody else said, DH and I make "cappucino babies"
)

and on the hair....I'm about to go post something about dd's hair. LOL I have NO experience in this dept. And *I* for one, LOVE her hair. I don't want to do anything unnatural to it, I just have to learn what I can do with what she's got


I have been looking forward to her hair since the day she was born
. I have no clue how to braid her hair, as my only experience is with my own, which is straight-as-straight can be long "white" hair (not meant to offend anybody just that's what it is, not a curl or a wave in sight.)

off to post a new post rather than de-rail.
 
#91 ·
I haven't been in a posiion where I've had to check any boxes in forms, but if I ever come accross one that doesn't have an other box, I think I'll just not check any boxes and write down an explanation. I'd have to because if I checked Irish they'd think I was lying when they see his name.
 
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