Join Date: Jul 2005
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I don't know what we're going to teach the baby. If race and biculturalism have complicated my life, well, I'm still happy with the person I am, even if sometimes I feel like my outsides don't quite match my insides. And I also feel weird being like, "Well, you're almost all white, so just be white, baby." I feel like I'd be betraying my culture, the way I was raised, my mother and so many things I am proud of about myself. I guess I still am working out a lot of identity issues for myself, but this is more complicated than labels, even though when I talk about it, it just sounds like labels.
I know what it feels like to be different than your family in looks and to also be told you are obviously *this* race/culture and not your own- thus not being accepted. I also wonder what sorts of things she is going to get to hear as a "white girl". It seems that when you are white people assume you are inline with their prejudices. DH gets hit with racist jokes and slander all the time from people who think because he is white he has a white wife and children and agrees with their bigotry . I wonder if she will ever hear slander like this and take it personally where others might not realize it is personal for her. Does that make any sense at all?
Found this through new posts. I rarely post here.
I am part Hispanic, part Apache, part Inca and part French on my mom's side. Spanish is her first language, English was her second language. She is considered Hispanic and her cultural roots are Hispanic.
My dad is English, Welsh, Scottish and French. I think that is it.
I married a guy who is 1/2 German ( his dad is only German) and his mom is Norweigian, Swedish, English, Scotch-Irish and Portuguese.
I have olive skin, hazel eyes...my boys both have blue eyes and light brown hair. They were both blonde as babies. I had blonde babies. You have no idea what a shock that was to me.
Anyway, when it is time to fill out those boxes, it was complicated for me, even more complicated for them...and has sometimes made me cry. I am pretty sure my younger son is going to choose from now on to just put caucasian in the box as trying to mark all the boxes confuses everyone and him I think. There was a bit of a drama when ds#1 DID fill in all the boxes and ended up with a minority scholarship that the school did not want him to refuse. He tried. It was a mess.
My mom did not teach my brother and I how to speak Spanish. What we have from her culture...a tortilla recipe. I am serious. That is it. I had nothing to pass on to my children.
I really wish they just had a box that said "Mixed Race."
Even that leaves me feeling odd.
To further complicate things, my brother identifies as anglo. I have always identified as Hispanic though I don't speak the language and am not culturally Hispanic.
My brother has blue-hazel eyes and light brown hair and fair skin.
I have green/brown-hazel eyes, dark hair and olive skin.
Just wanted to let you know I think I know what you are going through some, but maybe not fully as I have no deep cultural roots.
This is a touchy subject for me.
s for you.
raise your baby for the person you want him/her to be. not what his/her/ your skin color tells ignorant people who or what you and your baby are "supposed" to be, in their eyes. your love and wisdom from all cultures involved in your family will be all he/she needs to be the person you hope for them to be.