anyone dating/married to a tanzanian ? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 16 Old 06-13-2009, 11:31 AM - Thread Starter
 
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hello :

i used to be in a relationship with a us-tanzanian man (born and grown up in tanzania and moved to us at the age of 16), we have a 3 year old daughter together. for several (personal) reasons i broke up with him during pregnancy and moved back to germany to raise our dd as a single mother. though, during all this time, we have been in positive contact with each other. dd and me are going to visit him next month, mainly for them to get to know each other. but i have to admit that i have been thinking about the possibility to become a couple again (so does he, we both are singles currently).

anyway. are there any other american (or european or.....) / tanzanian couples here?

Me with the wonder of my life (2/06) * : * : * * * ...surfin' together on the wave of life : ...
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#2 of 16 Old 06-27-2009, 11:58 PM
 
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I'm not married to a Tanzanian, but to their neighbor - I'm married to a Kenyan

My dh and I lived in tanzania for about a year after we got married.

I know it's not completely the same, but feel free to pm me if you want

Loving wife to DH and buddamomimg1.pngmama to DD (11/08) and DS (2/12)

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#3 of 16 Old 07-05-2009, 05:08 AM - Thread Starter
 
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hey bluedaisy :

i was hoping for your reply i alredy wrote to you in your "adjusting...." thread.

kenia must be awesome too... oh well, i am jealous i havent had the chance yet to travel to africa at all. because of the malaria issue i am postponing a visit to my dd's grandmother.

currently, i am getting very excited about our visit to my ex/dad of our dd. just 2 more weeks and we are with him :

Me with the wonder of my life (2/06) * : * : * * * ...surfin' together on the wave of life : ...
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#4 of 16 Old 07-05-2009, 07:30 PM
 
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Hey whooopsy,
that's exciting that you'll get to see him soon....i hope the visit goes well!

where does his mother live? We lived in Moshi and there's little risk of malaria in Moshi. Arusha is close to Moshi and both are high elevation, so I wasn't on any preventative meds when I went there. If you're concerned for your dd, you could get weekly malaria tests to catch it early...they're less than a dollar each. I took tests about every 2 weeks when I was pregnant but I didn't have a problem with malaria.

Have fun!! :

Loving wife to DH and buddamomimg1.pngmama to DD (11/08) and DS (2/12)

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#5 of 16 Old 07-06-2009, 09:54 AM
 
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At risk of being off topic, or whatever, i'm kinda new here, i just have to get in on this conversation. I have yet to visit TZ, though my Dh is from Mwanza, and more recently (9 yrs ago) Arusha. Now we are running a small tour company and once it begins to provide us with a living, we will head to Arusha and buy some land and build a little place. Oooh, sounds like a dream right now! The info on the elevation and the malaria meds is really helpful because i cannot imagine taking that horrid stuff, or giving my kids. I actually started a thread about how it would work taking non-vaxed kids to Africa and also received some helpful info there.

So bluedaisy, did you guys have kids while in Moshi? I am curious about what kind of life we will have there with them, Like will they go to a private school with ex-pats and wealthy Tanzanians? Or, will we be able to live without class segregation? I hope to operate some kind of community center for yoga and natural health while there, serving the diverse international and local community. I guess I'll see what evolves when we get there. It sounds like the TZ culture is very welcoming and open to diversity. As a bi-racial family, i am just wondering how we'll be received.

Best with your travels whooopsy, hope it is amazing!
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#6 of 16 Old 07-06-2009, 03:18 PM
 
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Hi Rootsandmarigold, we only lived in moshi for 8 months, and i imagine things would have been different if we had stayed longer....

also, moshi is a smaller town than arusha so i'm sure your experience in arusha would be different...

having said that, we had a hard time as an intercultural couple in moshi. we moved to moshi from nairobi and we felt like there was a lot more class and racial division in moshi than in nairobi....we never felt like we "fit" - had we gone separately, my dh would have been seen as a "local" and i would have been seen as an "expat" - and those worlds were pretty separate in moshi. we felt it was partly because of the language barrier, partly because of an educational barrier (i was told only 3% of tanzanians go on to high school, but im not sure how accurate that is), and because expats usually have like 20x the salary of the local tanzanians.

so people weren't really sure what to do with us. we didnt feel accepted by the locals and we didnt feel accepted by the expats. we didnt know any other intercultural couples (we did see some around town occasionally, but we didnt know them personally) when we were looking for a house, we went to go look at an apartment of someone we knew who was leaving moshi. his househelp was there and he said she kept talking about how a kenyan married to an american had come by...she just couldn't believe it.

however, arusha is a city and i'm sure it would be easier for you there. there are international schools that you could send kids to, and there are also a growing number of english primary schools (most primary schools are in swahili). the high schools are all in english.

in our experience, the discipline in most tanzanian schools is pretty harsh, so if you're big on gentle discipline you might not like that aspect.

on the positive side, tanzania is a beautiful country, and people are really friendly. im sure there will be more intercultural couples in a city like arusha. i think east africa is a great place to raise a family - there are so many positive cultural aspects - like community and hospitality - the food is fresh and delicious, the air is clean, and there is little consumerism/materialism.

that sounds like a great plan to me - my dh wants to do the same thing - make money for a few years then buy a piece of land outside of nairobi, plant a garden, get a cow and some chickens, and build a nice small house for our family

Loving wife to DH and buddamomimg1.pngmama to DD (11/08) and DS (2/12)

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#7 of 16 Old 07-07-2009, 10:38 AM
 
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wow, blue daisy, that sounds familiar. I have to say that living here in the uS we live in an African American town right down the hill from an upper income mostly white town. The experience is kind of similar and i can imagine how amplified it would be in a country where the income and opportunity gap is huger than we can likely imagine it to be. I do hope that you are right about Arusha being more of international city and more diverse. I guess it sounds like it is, all that tourism helps.

I really appreciate your input here, its interesting to read about your experience. We will be neighbors in East Africa one day! In the meantime, getting the kids to learn Swahili... moja, mbili, tatu...
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#8 of 16 Old 07-08-2009, 04:43 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by bluedaisy View Post
Hey whooopsy,
that's exciting that you'll get to see him soon....i hope the visit goes well!

where does his mother live?

thanks a lot, i am already very exitedt

the rest of his family lives in dodoma, TZ. i think its supposed to be the 3rd biggest citiy of TZ, but i dont know really much about it.

i have a lot of respect for malaria and thats why i decided to visit the country when dd is a bit older

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#9 of 16 Old 07-08-2009, 04:46 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Best with your travels whooopsy, hope it is amazing!
thanks a lot : (just to make sure it came across clearly: we are going to visit dd's dad who currently lives in the US, not in TZ. his family still lives in TZ though and we may visit them in the future.)

Me with the wonder of my life (2/06) * : * : * * * ...surfin' together on the wave of life : ...
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#10 of 16 Old 07-08-2009, 04:51 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by RootsAndMarigolds View Post
In the meantime, getting the kids to learn Swahili... moja, mbili, tatu...
cool so do you speak swahili too or just your hubby?

Me with the wonder of my life (2/06) * : * : * * * ...surfin' together on the wave of life : ...
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#11 of 16 Old 07-09-2009, 03:31 PM
 
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we are just learning swahili !
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#12 of 16 Old 07-10-2009, 02:11 AM - Thread Starter
 
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we are just learning swahili !
is it difficult? i heard that there are actually some english and german elements in the language...?

Me with the wonder of my life (2/06) * : * : * * * ...surfin' together on the wave of life : ...
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#13 of 16 Old 07-10-2009, 08:01 AM
 
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Ive just started by learning vocabulary. My DH isnt the best at teaching the mechanics of the language, though he speaks 4 of them, so i am going to have to learn that here and there. I purchased a nice dictionary to start!
Reading about the history of the language, i recall there are many elements in its creation, though i'm by no means an expert in that area. I am pretty good at picking up languages, but being immersed in it is key and we always forget to use swahili at home. We are trying to be better at it!
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#14 of 16 Old 06-16-2013, 03:01 PM
 
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Hi there,

 

I know this is a very old thread but it is hard to find someone to talk to sometimes! I am moving to Moshi in a few months to be with my fiance (he is Tanzanian). We will be getting married there and we plan on staying in Tanzania to live. I would love to talk to you more about your time there and ask you some questions. I've been thinking a lot about the future and having children and what the hospitals are like and how it is different than in a western country.

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#15 of 16 Old 06-24-2013, 03:14 AM
 
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Nikkiw - I am married to a Kenyan and we lived in Moshi for 8 months...I responded to this thread earlier, but I would happy to answer any other questions if there are specific things you want to know about....when are you moving?


Loving wife to DH and buddamomimg1.pngmama to DD (11/08) and DS (2/12)

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#16 of 16 Old 01-19-2014, 11:39 AM
 
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Lived happily for years in Tanzania with my then Tanzanian fiance. I kept getting sick to the point where I was always in and out of hospital. I thought life in the UK would be the best for us. We got rejected 4 visas in 2 years. But when he got to UK and the sight seeing wore off we became culturally miles apart. Any other people struggled with cultral differences?
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