40 days ( or some set time) of 'not going out' with newborn.Do you or anyone you know practice this? - Page 2 - Mothering Forums
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#31 of 44 Old 12-29-2009, 01:58 PM
 
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Old Bulgarian tradition--the new mom stays in bed for 40 days and the whole village brings her "strong" food (eggs, meat, etc.). This is what both of my grandmothers told me.
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#32 of 44 Old 01-18-2010, 03:12 AM
 
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I'm American. In my husband's culture (Japan) the woman goes back to her hometown to be with her own mother. She stays inside for one month while her mom "mothers the new mom"

I totally wish I had such an opportunity. My son was born here in the states. My mom came after he was born. I love my mom, but I admit she was kind of at a loss as to what to do. I told her that I am not supposed to be driving per instruction of the hospital. She thought it was pretty crazy didn't understand why I shouldn't drive. She said, "I could understand if you had a c-section..." But acutally I had all natural birth without any pain meds. I was so exhausted. I had to drive everywhere. (doctor, supermarket, target...etc.) I just wanted to stay home in my jammies and have someone take care of me. I can honestly say it was the worst period in my life. I am afraid to have another child and go through that period again.
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#33 of 44 Old 01-21-2010, 02:24 PM
 
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2 or 3 of my western friends have had babies in korea (we worked there for a while, so knew a fair number of expats) and they (the koreans, not my friends) take the 100 days rest very seriously, at least in our smallish town. my friend would get chased down the road by the ajummas (old ladies) when she tried to take her little girl out for a bit of fresh air and sunshine, and told to go back inside! they were also very strict at the hospital... the rooms were kept boiling, you weren't allowed to get up and they practically force-fed you the seaweed soups and whatnot. haha, and there was NO mention of getting released early! unfortunately, these women were there with only their husbands, and so following the old ladies' advice would have been nearly impossible, since the husbands usually only get a short leave, and most of us were also working full time. we did do our best to support them though! it's hard to give birth on the other side of the world from your family!

personally, i'll do my best to relax as much as possible afterwards... my husband's leave is pretty flexible, and after he goes back to work, i can ask my mom to come and stay with me for a week or so, if i feel i need it. i think it might be more stressful to have her in the house though!
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#34 of 44 Old 01-22-2010, 12:56 PM
 
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This is a Greek Orthodox tradition as well. I did this with my first child, my daughter Sophia, but not with my son Achilleas.

Here is why they do it:

40 Day Churching
When the mother and child return from the hospital, it is traditional for them to observe a period of 40 days during which they rest and recuperate from the delivery and refrain from traveling outside the home. The first place that the child is brought, then, is the Church, and what a beautiful sign of our dedication and hopes for the child than to offer him/her to the Lord! The roots of this tradition are found in the Old Testament (Leviticus 12), but the reason that they are still practiced is founded in the example set by Christ through His own presentation in the Temple (Luke 2:22-40).

In the Orthodox Church, both baby boys and baby girls are taken to the Church on the fortieth day after their birth. This is done in remembrance of the Theotokos and Joseph taking the infant Jesus to the Temple.
Today, when a mother and father bring their children to the Church to present the child to God, they are following the example of Christ. Instead of the couple just bringing their first born son however, now all children (sons and daughters) are brought by their parents to dedicate their child's life to God.

At the Forty Day Blessing, prayers are offered to thank God for blessing and protecting the mother during child birth and make her worthy to enter into the Church and to continue to participate in the Sacramental Life of the Church. Prayers are also read for the health and well being of the child asking God to protect him/her and make them worthy of His Promise of Eternal Life at the time of their Baptism.
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#35 of 44 Old 01-26-2010, 07:21 PM
 
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I'm Indian (Hindu), and we do it as well. It's 40 days, and not so much you can't go out, but more like you don't have to-- Ie, you can blow off your sisters wedding, and not do any housework for 40 days and you are good. Nobody can say anything, or expect you to do anything. Normally you would go stay at your mom's house sometime before pregnancy and stick around there for as long as you wanted after the baby came.

I did actually go and stay at my mom's after my horrendous birth. It was literally the best 2 weeks of my life. We fudged the rule, I had to go to the optometrist! The baby did not leave the house *or car* for the first 40 days. I thought it was wonderful, and went hand in hand with getting breastfeeding established during that time period. I highly recommend it!

ETA: I always assumed the 40 days came from the average time a woman would stop bleeding after a birth. It equals 6 weeks, the same amount of time many people get paid maternity leave for the same reason.

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#36 of 44 Old 01-28-2010, 08:15 AM
 
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Originally Posted by AngeliqueW View Post
My understanding is that it can be a way to nurture the mother. Family and friends do the shopping, come by to cook and clean, offer general support.
*here*!

i live in germany and gave birth to my sweet dd in winter 4 years ago. since i was a single mother (and in germany we have the legal right to take paid maternity protection for at least 6 weeks after birth - up to 1 year, without a paycheck of course)) i participated in a voluntary program that is offered in my city. it is called "wellcome" and it helps new mums/families within the first weeks/months with the new baby. my family lives quiet far away, so i took part of this program.

a really nice, older woman came to my apartment everyday to do shopping/cleaning and supporting wherever i needed it. it was so precious, i sometimes still think about it.

du to that i was able to cuddle with my little one almost all day in bed, nurse her around the clock and rest my body.

it was great.

midwifes in germany recommend to stay inside at least 4 weeks after birth, but only a few women here in germany still do that - too much stress (other kids, jobs, husband....). i am really happy that i did it and would like to do it again if i ever got pregnant again.

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#37 of 44 Old 01-30-2010, 01:41 PM
 
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Originally Posted by texmati View Post
ETA: I always assumed the 40 days came from the average time a woman would stop bleeding after a birth. It equals 6 weeks, the same amount of time many people get paid maternity leave for the same reason.
yes, exactly. It's all about the unclean nature of lochia, according to the anthropology textbooks!
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#38 of 44 Old 03-22-2010, 08:12 PM
 
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Thanks for the fascinating thread! I'm writing an article for a mainstreamish parenting magazine about babymooning, and currently doing research on different cultural perspectives on the post-partum period. This has given me lots to go on with!

FWIW I plan to be a lot lazier after having the next baby. I wasn't exactly running marathons, but even so I ended up fainting in the shower a few weeks after she was born. I considered doing the "nobody gets to see the baby for the first week but us" thing, but decided my family would probably revolt. Is there any cultural basis for that one, or is it just something MDCers with toxic relatives do?

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#39 of 44 Old 03-31-2010, 03:10 PM
 
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I did this and it was lovely. I did 25 days of just family. It you can do it, it is time that lasts forever in memory. I cherish those times so much.
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#40 of 44 Old 03-31-2010, 03:17 PM
 
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Originally Posted by texmati View Post
I'm Indian (Hindu), and we do it as well. It's 40 days, and not so much you can't go out, but more like you don't have to-- Ie, you can blow off your sisters wedding, and not do any housework for 40 days and you are good. Nobody can say anything, or expect you to do anything. Normally you would go stay at your mom's house sometime before pregnancy and stick around there for as long as you wanted after the baby came.

I did actually go and stay at my mom's after my horrendous birth. It was literally the best 2 weeks of my life. We fudged the rule, I had to go to the optometrist! The baby did not leave the house *or car* for the first 40 days. I thought it was wonderful, and went hand in hand with getting breastfeeding established during that time period. I highly recommend it!

ETA: I always assumed the 40 days came from the average time a woman would stop bleeding after a birth. It equals 6 weeks, the same amount of time many people get paid maternity leave for the same reason.
If this is the definition, then I guess we do it...staying in the house for 40 days would probably cause PPD for me lol. I like the idea and I think it makes sense but I was imagining it as never leaving the house. I had a the weirdest, strongest urge to get out after DD was born. Literally, the next day after she was born I was crying and begging DH to go somewhere. We ate out, we visited all the family, we even sat at the park, went to the mall....

But in terms of never lifting a finger...yes I think my whole family had this view. I was not expected to do anything other than nurse my baby. If I tried to do something, there would be a tsk tsk and a "go sit down" sent my way haha.

Incidentally, DH got FMLA and vacation leave, and then the scheduler messed up his return to work schedule so he did end up off work for 6 weeks. We are planning on it again.

Mama to expecting Babe 2
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#41 of 44 Old 04-05-2010, 12:14 PM
 
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old thread but in my culture (mexican) this is called "quarentena" and it is quite common.

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#42 of 44 Old 06-15-2011, 10:08 PM
 
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hello,

 

i was talking to a friend about the moon and then, recalled this secret story, i've heard from an old friend - he is an Armenian atheist, a scientist and knows a great deal of secrets.

for my personal safety, and his too, i will not reveal his identity at any time in here, or anywhere else, unless i'm tortured to :)

 

alright, the first 40 days of newborn, staying at home and not seeing anyone.

 

in actual tradition - which, by the way, according to my friend is before christianity - is this.

 

the new born baby has to be in a room that is sunny and bright.

the newborn cannot see any other, except own blood - mom, dad, grandma, grandpa.

the newborn, at night - This is Most Important - ought not to see the moon.

the newborn cannot be exposed to the moon

---to my question "Why?" the person who knows secretology (not studied at any university or school) said:

 

"because moon registers the weaknesses of the mankind and uses those weaknesses, such could be an illness, when the moon is new."

 

this didn't make any sense to me -- but when he started giving me examples of how some diseases were treated in Armenia -- i started to believe in it.

 

one of the diseases he mentioned was - skin bumps (i don't know proper medical term on this, but in Armenia we call it "Gortnuk") and the way it is treated (in old tradition) is:

use a dirty broom when the moon is new, and hit the skin bumps with the dirty broom and cuss the moon. (yes, cuss the moon with the insults you know of.)

then the skin bumps go away.

 

this happened to me, and it was cured the way i mentioned - but, back then i was a kid, and i didn't pay much attention to the meaning of it.

 

so, there is a little secret i'm giving out - i hope somebody doesn't mind - i may be in trouble for revealing this -- who knows. let's keep in touch.

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#43 of 44 Old 06-21-2011, 08:11 AM
 
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As a few PPs noted, the "cuarentena" is practiced in Mexico.  "Cuarenta" is Spanish for "forty," but the word "cuarentena" sounds just like the English word "quarantine."  Being a hobby linguist, I wonder if the custom of quarantine can be traced at all to the postpartum-rooming-in tradition?  Interesting....I've only skimmed through the posts, but I'll definitely go back and read this thread when I get more time!

 

On a personal note, my husband has always kind of felt bad that I never got my cuarentena with our first dd.  He was stuck in Mexico, and I was here and had no help.  I ended up tearing through all of the stitches in my perineum due to overexertion that first week and got all infected.  I have never been so miserable as I was those first 40 days trying to be a new mom all by myself.  I wish our society provided for more of these traditional practices that care for new mothers.  I won't get my cuarentena this time either, although my husband is with me, because somebody has to bring home the bacon!  I'm trying to line up help for at least the first week or so, but nobody really wants to take time out of their busy, work-driven lives to lend a hand (if I sound kind of bitter, it's because I am ;)  ).  Here's hoping that every other mother out there gets the time she needs to heal!


Wife to DH from Mexico, and mother to DD (01/10); DS (09/11); and one on the way (03 or 04/14)  buddamomimg1.png

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#44 of 44 Old 06-21-2011, 06:43 PM
 
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According to the various dictionaries and encyclopedias I looked at, it comes from the Italian  for "forty days", but the author relates it to the Bible (Jesus's 40 days in the wilderness)

 

"...The word derives from the Italian, quaranta dei (forty days) and reminds us that the custom of segregating putatively infected persons and the ships on which they were traveling originated in the maritime empire of Venice in the 14th century. This length of time probably relates to the biblical story of the forty days Jesus spent in the wilderness, not to knowledge of the mode of transmission of infection — although the rise of the practice suggests that there was some understanding of the concept of contagion even if not empirical knowledge of infective periods and incubation times of the plagues that were raging in Europe in those days."

 

     - John M. Last "quarantine"  The Oxford Companion to Medicine. Stephen Lock, John M. Last, and George Dunea. Oxford University Press 2001. Oxford Reference Online. Oxford University Press.   22 June 2011  <http://www.oxfordreference.com/views/ENTRY.html?subview=Main&entry=t185.e416>

 

 

"..The first known law of segregation on account of disease was enacted by the Emperor Justinian in AD 542. The earliest definite regulations against the spread of disease were, however, developed by Italian city states under the threat of bubonic plague in the fourteenth century. Venice, the great entrepôt of trade with the east, probably issued regulations as early as 1127, and was the first city to issue a complete quarantine code in 1448. This code provided the model for all subsequent regulations over the next four centuries. Initially these European quarantines were limited to the exclusion of goods and people from stricken localities, but as time went on they were increasingly extended to foreign places as well, especially in sea ports.

By the sixteenth century the practice of quarantine was well established across Europe, and British governments also began to adopt the policy. It was not until the eighteenth century, however, that comprehensive codes of practice were put into place in response to the last outbursts of plague on the European continent — in the Baltic states between 1709 and 1712, and at Marseilles in 1721. These early eighteenth-century regulations were apparently successful at staving off the menace of plague, and were repeatedly revised and renewed over the next hundred years."

 

     - Anne Hardy "quarantine"  The Oxford Companion to the Body. Ed. Colin Blakemore and Sheila Jennett. Oxford University Press, 2001. Oxford Reference Online. Oxford University Press.  22 June 2011  <http://www.oxfordreference.com/views/ENTRY.html?subview=Main&entry=t128.e789>

 

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