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|One friend from Africa, married to a white guy was going on about her kids' hair. I thought she was upset about her dd's hair being so curly while the son has softer curls. Turns out, she was just complaining about taking care of it. I was all "But she has cute hair!" thinking it was about how her dd looked. I'm all confirming that her dd was still beautiful while my friend was annoyed with me because I'm not the one who has to do the treatments and combing...|
I am a multi-racial mom (AA, Caucasian, Native American in about equal parts) - the sort of person who used to be asked "what are you?" a lot. Many people assume I am Black, but I don't really identify as anything in particular, besides, "of color". My DH is Caucasian and our DS, if I had to pin a race on him I would say maybe looks Hispanic?
Anyway, I have gotten comments from white women who were both probably around 60, about what pretty hair he has. His hair is basically straight with a slight wave, for now. I would call it Kennedy-esqe if he had more if it. One was pretty offensive and said "oh, it's not tightly curled at all" and the other just went on and on about how pretty it was.
I don't know what to say to these people. They are assuming that I have "bad" hair because I am brown (I don't - it is simply curly and I use a flat iron b/c curls are hard for me to handle), and that I am happy that he doesn't have "bad" hair.
I think my child is beautiful. If he would have come out with an afro or if his hair changes to one, he would be no less beautiful. I don't get it and I don't know how to respond to this. I know they don't perceive it as rude, but it is just as rude as commenting on someone's weight.
Anyone have any good comebacks for the next time this happens?
Thanks for the responses. I wasn't looking for a snappy comeback, per se, just maybe something to more draw awareness. Like I said - the one comment was rude, the other was just really strange the way she went on and on about it. The rude comment worried me because the woman who made it was about to have adopted grandchild from Ethiopia. She made some comment about his hair too, contrasting it with her adopted grandchild's hair who is from Central America. I feel for that Ethiopian child with his curls (he's cute as a button - she had a pic) - I hope that she doesn't say anything inadvertently hurtful to him in the future. I know people don't mean to be insensitive, but I wish they understood how their comments come across.
And, it doesn't bother me if people tell me my son is cute - it's that these comments are specifically about hair and ignoring all else.
Mommy to my amazing 6 yr old dd, we , and 27 weeks and have been sick the whole time so far, grrrrr!!!!!!!
but I would be one of those people who would comment on hair! I'm always stopping people, oh "look at those curls" or "omg, her eyes are so bright" or "I love those rolls!" I just love babies, all babies.. and they all have a special cuteness about them! I love baby curls too. I never knew this was an issue?!?! I live near Clearwater Beach, Fl and this community is very multi cultural.. ugghh.. hope I haven't pissed anyone off yet
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