we are from different backgrounds, India and Mexico. We are going to have a baby boy and cannot come up with hardly any names that can represent both the Latin and Indian cultures.
After doing some research (I sound like a guy), I came up with Rohan (Irish as well as Indian origin, plus i know it from Lord of the Rings) but wife clearly didnt like it.
She likes David, Daniel, Dylan, Gabriel, Alec - all names which have no Indian component to it.
I was wondering how I should go about finding a name that will make her, her family, as well as my family decently happy. Almost feels like a lost cause
We picked names we liked, period. Our families hated both of them. The names don't "represent" anything but names we liked.
My father-in-law went so far with our second son as to suggest, when he was about six months, better names. He actually was hoping we would CHANGE the name.
*shrug* I just don't give much credit to trying to please families. In my experience, it's a hassle, and definitely not our top priority. Our parents got to pick our names. Now we get to pick our kids' names.
if it was me, i would look at baby name lists from each country, pick some faves, figure out which ones are easily pronounced in both or all of the languages you speak, and then go from there. if you go to your local library, there are some good baby name books that list names by country or culture.
raising my two sunshine children.
If your wife wants a name like Daniel, maybe use that as a first name and then do two middle names one from Mexico and one from India, or even one middle name which is either Mexican or Indian that you think fits well with the first name and still carries a reminder of the culture that the baby is part of. Or do the cultural name first and the name like Daniel second depending on how you and your wife feel about it.
What about doing a first name from one culture, and a middle name from the other? Or maybe combining parts of names to make a new one?
Try not to worry too much about what the family thinks. Whatever you choose, there will be someone who doesn't like it.
Like many of you suggested, i would like names that can be pronounced and be felt kinship to, by people from both backgrounds. While parents are not involved in decision making, I want to try my best to pick up names that my parents and her parents don't end up hating. and then, the options that pop up are very simple three letter names.
the two-name thing is new to me, since I grew up with only one name It would seem that using two names would be useless, since everyone would eventually end up calling the kid with one name only. I am not sold on the idea of 2 names.
another option besides the library is using google to look at lists of indian baby names or mexican baby names and seeing if there is any crossover. fwiw, i just looked through a few indian baby name lists and i didn't find much except bianca which is also used occasionally in latin america, but it would be a good project for the two of you to do together.
also, two names is really common in latin american countries (and it's common for the kid to go by the two names, not just a middle name that's never used except on paper like in the US...so you see a lot of Maria Jose or Jorge Luis or Pilar de la Cruz, etc). so as far as the mexican side of things, that should be totally par for the course.
raising my two sunshine children.
keep in mind that you cannot know what your child will like 20 years from now,
but for sure your child will be multi-cultural with parents from different cultures,
so they might appreciate having a choice of names ... in the future, when they are older to choose for themselves & depending on where they'll choose to live and work too ....
where I live now , it is not easy (nor cheap) to change something in one's name
BUT if you were given several names at birth, they are all listed in the birth certificate and it's not big deal to have then id papers indicate one from the list as "the name in use everyday" instead of the first one from the list.
we each gave our children two names, DH picked one from my culture and one from his culture and I did the same, so they have 4 names (except the eldest because we both picked the same name to go first !) but we only use one in every day life. In my culture, we don't use initials for middle names.
My nephews and niece only got one name, from their father's culture ....which is not the dominant culture where they are living now; it's very culturally marked and right now I belive it puts them at a desavantage when they send in their resume.
I believe in opening up options for the future ....
People can and do go by different names depending on the circumstances, DS answers just as easily to his middle name with his his Hindi name as he does to his first name, and has no problem switching between the two depending on the situation.
My kids have both Chinese names (with variation based on whether we want to pronounce them in Cantonese or Mandarin) and European names.
You can try to have them match in meaning. For example my son's names both are related to the meaning of laughter or joy.
Names that might work in both cultures
Reina or Reyna (means Queen)
Sara (diminutive Sarita)
Reinaldo / Reynaldo
BOTH families disliked the names we chose. Like a previous poster, my MIL chose a different name for my oldest son and used her name to address him for the first 6 months of his life.
Now (6 years later) it just isn't an issue anymore. The boys' names suit them, and every one is used to them.
I love the idea of giving multiple names. If you truly want to honor the latin side of their heritage, it would be appropriate, right? And if one of the names were Indian, then you would be honoring both.
What about choosing a *meaning* that both of you like, and giving your child a first and second name from each language that has that meaning. If she likes Daniel--find the meaning and use the Hindi word that fits the meaning as his other name? Also, "Christian" names like Daniel, David, and Gabriel aren't entirely unknown in India. Would it be a problem for your family for a child of yours to have one of those names or a variation on it, due to religious issues?
We are a mixed culture family, but our children's names come from dh's culture. I was iffy about that at first, but he has picked out names with such beautiful, deep meanings, perfect for the children, that I have no problem with it now. I can't wait to see what he comes up with for future children.
Some of those later ones are sorta a stretch in Spanish, but they would be easy to pronounce and, to my knowledge, don't have negative connotations, though others may be able to shed more light on them.
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DS has a New Jersey Dutchy (not same as PA Dutch) first name, a middle name that was supposed to be Irish but turned out Scottish b/c DH went to fill out the birth certificate alone and didn't realize the Irish and Scots spelled it differently, and a Chinese last name.
Since you only have 2 cultures involved, I would give the first name from the culture that doesn't get the last name and give the middle name So you could do "Indian FN, Mexican MN, Mexican LN" or "Mexican FN, Indian MN, Indian LN."
Also, are you looking for either muslim or hindu names?
Texmati-- Knitter, Hindu, vegetarian, WOHM. Wife to superdad and mom to DS 24 months, and DD 8 months! .
I have a friend who is Mexican-Bangladeshi...he has a mainstream American name and so do his kids.
And you guys are right. She has 2 first names but only really uses one of them. Maybe using 2 first names is the way to go. Thanks very much. I will definitely keep you posted. In the meantime, feel free to suggest names that would work for Hindu/Indian as well as Catholic cultures.
"A World of Baby Names" by Teresa Norman is a great resource for multicultural families.
I have a friend who is Mexican-Bangladeshi...he has a mainstream American name and so do his kids.
I have that book. Yes everyone is right the baby will have your last name so there is a hindi name for you. That being said we had some struggles with our first born, i guess in Indian not only does the father choose the name, but it isn't given until well after the baby is born, at a ceremony. Dh doesn't even practice hindu but it was hard to convince him to let this tradition go and the hospital did tell him that ds couldn't leave without a name. But ultimately it was up to me to find a hindi name, now talk about hard, i can't speak the language or prounounce the names, yet dh told me to find a name and he would let me know if he liked it or not, so ds has a hindi name, with a slightly different spelling and slightly different prounciation, but ultimately it hindi, and i love his name honestly, it is pretty unique in India as well and it fits my son to a t. So i compromised with my dh and let him have his way, as long I get bring the choice list to him, have him pronounce it correctly, decide if the name could have a bad nickname in American culture, and he did let me do the slightly different spelling and pronuniciation, and it fits and we like it. Currently expecting number2, and very stressed about possibly choosing another boys name, girls names are easier imo.
Did I mention that my dh doesn't even go by his own hindi name and has some blah boring American nickname,lol? But our kids will all have hindi first and last names and they will go by their given names, I have a long name and always was called by a nickname and don't like it, i think if you name kid something then call them that, but that is just my opinion.
I love the name Rohan by the way, but that is out for us, b/c my aunt's ex last name was Rohan and that is what he goes by, and he pronounces it with the hard h, so, no i can't use that for boy.
the hospital did tell him that ds couldn't leave without a name.
We took DS home without a name. For a week, he was just listed as "Baby Boy Lastname" on all his insurance forms and what not.
Just a suggestion .... you said that your wife liked the name Dylan. I think that this is also an Indian name. Maybe spelled Dhillon?
We also have had some controversy with some of our chosen names. We usually don't discuss them with others during the pregnancies anymore. After our third was born, my in-laws asked if they could call him by his middle name. Um, no! His name suits him well, and they've gotten used to it.
Mom to eight!! Our twin girls arrived 3-3-2011.
Since you mentioned Rohan, an Irish as well as Indian name, I just want to throw Ki(e)ran in. it's also Irish, and with out the e Indian if I'm not mistaken. And it's our youngest son's name, so clearly we picked names because we liked them and not for cultural significance (kids are Filipino-Dutch)
mama to my August boys ('03 & '06)
I'm mom to a Rohan here. We're an Indian family and everyone without exception that I've met has LOVED ds's name. i do have to spell out most times that we pronounce Rohan to rhyme with Roman and not with Johann but it's a great name that looks and reads both eastern and Western.
My son's name is Ronan, and we have a palace here where we live that's called "Rohan" so of course I like it!
What I was going to throw in was first, I think the priority is a name that works where you live. If you pick something that is hard to pronounce and spell in the community where you live, you're placing an unfair burden on him, IMHO. Of course, you might be planning on moving but that should be a consideration.
Also, some cultures are better with "foreign" names than others. For example, South Americans and Germans often give their children entirely foreign names just because they like them. My sister was an exchange student to Guatemala and her host "sister" had my name lol!
I know a family who gave their children standard names but changed the "C"s to "K"s simply because the hard "K" sound is always written with a K in the husband's language. Little details like that. One name is from the mom's culture, spelled the way they would spell it in the Dad's language.
Religion plays a role. I was uncomfortable naming my child a Saint's name since we're not Christian but it's a normal thing for France. I found it weird so we went with Israeli names (with a little spelling tweaking) that you can find in both cultures. They can be said and spelled and don't sound strange in either society (although Israelis find our tweaked spellings a bit annoying- but we don't live there!). I wouldn't name my child a heavily religious name unless I planned to raise him in that religion.
I actually suggest "road testing" the name. We were decided on one name and it turns out, in France, the name had certain connotations. No, don't depend on your partner! My dh liked the name and was "stuck" on it but all my coworkers were all "Noooooooo!" Since they know the culture better than I do... We found something more acceptable that was similar.
I know this sounds crazy but the families like our choices! Okay, my mom isn't thrilled with the youngest's name but she understood why we picked it.
If all you focus on is pleasing everybody, the end result will be that nobody is really pleased. You need to decide one two people-no more than this-who get to agree on a name. And don't share it with anybody; it's just not up to them.
Here is what I would suggest: your wife is only allowed to pick her favorite Indian names, and you are only allowed to pick your favorite western names. This way, you guys don't get to choose based on your own cultural bias. In the end, you might end up with a name you like but is not of your own culture.
Just an idea.