I've posted previously on raising my daughter as a bilingual, and I am coming across a relatively new issue and was wondering if any of you have experienced it and/or if you have any advice.
DD is almost 4. We live in the U.S., dad is American (minimal Arabic) and I'm a native speaker. I speak to DD in Arabic exclusively (regardless of who is around or what the situation is). Result= DD is fluent in Arabic (at 6 year old level really in terms of vocabulary and maybe even sentence structure). DD knows I speak English. I speak it with her dad and others. I am a college professor of English. She's visited my classes and seen me teach. Once, when she and her dad dropped me off at work, she said "Mama is at the college now. She's going to speak English."
A few months ago I guess it must have dawned on her that I speak English to her dad and not to her. I think this upset her. So she asked me to say something in English to her. When I refused and explained that we speak Arabic with each other, that this is our language, our special bond, a reflection of our heritage and identity etc., she was still very adamant and said "Just Say "I love you." She knew what sentence to pick I guess. I said it and we moved on. Several weeks later, she asked me to say "hello" to her in English. Again, I refused, and she almost threw a fit. Months went by without issue, and then again a few days ago she said "right?" to me and wanted me to say "right!" back to her. This time, I redirected and distracted her with something else, and the situation was averted. Sometimes, although I speak to her dad in English often, she will tell me to stop speaking to him in English and speak in Arabic. I think what's bothering her is that I am differentiating between her and her dad. It doesn't bother her that I speak English with others (friends, colleagues etc.) in her presence. Obviously, she does not yet understand that my speaking Arabic with her exclusively is a privilege and not a punishment; to her mind, dad gets two languages and she gets only one!
DD is a questioner and will likely less and less accept the fact that this is a given, a rule, just the way it is. She will continue to resist and question, and I will continue to explain it as best as I know how until she can understand it more fully on an intellectual/abstract level. In the meantime, do you have any strategies for dealing with those intense moments where she wants me to speak to her in English? My husband, who is super supportive, thinks that if I make a big deal of out of this, it will get worse. If I just say the word she wants me to say, she'll move on. But I'm a "purist" in this regard and think that the only way of sustaining her Arabic is complete and unadulterated monolingualism with each other. I can't help but think that it's a slippery slope. If I start giving in, that it will be the beginning of the end.
Thanks for any help!
DD is almost 4. We live in the U.S., dad is American (minimal Arabic) and I'm a native speaker. I speak to DD in Arabic exclusively (regardless of who is around or what the situation is). Result= DD is fluent in Arabic (at 6 year old level really in terms of vocabulary and maybe even sentence structure). DD knows I speak English. I speak it with her dad and others. I am a college professor of English. She's visited my classes and seen me teach. Once, when she and her dad dropped me off at work, she said "Mama is at the college now. She's going to speak English."
A few months ago I guess it must have dawned on her that I speak English to her dad and not to her. I think this upset her. So she asked me to say something in English to her. When I refused and explained that we speak Arabic with each other, that this is our language, our special bond, a reflection of our heritage and identity etc., she was still very adamant and said "Just Say "I love you." She knew what sentence to pick I guess. I said it and we moved on. Several weeks later, she asked me to say "hello" to her in English. Again, I refused, and she almost threw a fit. Months went by without issue, and then again a few days ago she said "right?" to me and wanted me to say "right!" back to her. This time, I redirected and distracted her with something else, and the situation was averted. Sometimes, although I speak to her dad in English often, she will tell me to stop speaking to him in English and speak in Arabic. I think what's bothering her is that I am differentiating between her and her dad. It doesn't bother her that I speak English with others (friends, colleagues etc.) in her presence. Obviously, she does not yet understand that my speaking Arabic with her exclusively is a privilege and not a punishment; to her mind, dad gets two languages and she gets only one!
DD is a questioner and will likely less and less accept the fact that this is a given, a rule, just the way it is. She will continue to resist and question, and I will continue to explain it as best as I know how until she can understand it more fully on an intellectual/abstract level. In the meantime, do you have any strategies for dealing with those intense moments where she wants me to speak to her in English? My husband, who is super supportive, thinks that if I make a big deal of out of this, it will get worse. If I just say the word she wants me to say, she'll move on. But I'm a "purist" in this regard and think that the only way of sustaining her Arabic is complete and unadulterated monolingualism with each other. I can't help but think that it's a slippery slope. If I start giving in, that it will be the beginning of the end.
Thanks for any help!