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-   -   Easter stuff (http://www.mothering.com/forum/438-multicultural-families/865922-easter-stuff.html)

MamaEli 03-17-2008 02:44 PM

Easter is this Sunday!! Did you know that? yeah, it's a newsflash for me...

I don't really know what to "do" for Easter. Here's my dilemma: I'm the only one in the house for whom all of the Easter Bunny hoopla will mean something. DH will go with it, but not actually plan anything. The kids will have fun getting stuff, of course, but are not expecting anything. Our friends staying with us are clueless, since this is such an American thing, so I would have to plan for everyone.

I do want to dye eggs, and will probably do that Sat night. I think we have baskets somewhere, but I need to find them. I'd like to put springtime activity items inside--like sidewalk chalk, sidewalk paints, maybe a jump rope or other outside toy (debating on the jumprope because I really just see it tied around a tree) and some candy. Maybe some playdough or the like, too.

If I was to make a big Easter dinner, I would do all the work. And I don't get a lot of days off, so really I'm just craving a simple meal of a type of dal and I may make chapatis. Or, get DH to take me to an Indian restaurant. (We're not Indian, I just love Indian food!)

But you've noticed, who's doing all the work and planning for something no one really even wants--me. And do I want to buy DD a pretty Easter dress that she'll probably wear only once or twice?

How much should I do--the baskets, eggs, and go out to dinner?
Make dinner? Ditch it all?

Bad Mama Jama 03-17-2008 05:07 PM

It's totally up to you. I would ask him for some help with the prep because even though he doesn't celebrate, he will be partaking indirectly with the family. Then, maybe this wouldn't seem like such a big production for you. Hope this helps!

Bunnybee 03-18-2008 01:17 AM

I'm trying to decide if I will do anything too! It's totally "my" holiday b/c I love rabbits (we aren't religious). I asked DH if he wanted to do an Easter Basket for DD and he said "what's an Easter Basket?" LOL! I was shocked he didn't even know about the concept, even though he has been in the US for almost 15 years! But I would like to make a cuute little basket with fun stuff and I like your ideas MamaEli. Although my DD is not quite 2 and doesn't eat candy (well, I'm sure she WOULD eat if I gave it to her) I was thinking about bubbles too...she would like bubbles. Not sure if she is old enough for coloring eggs. I think i would be doing it all but she may enjoy helping. As for dresses, my DD has plenty of dresses she has only worn once. If you really want to do it and can afford to, why not? As for the dinner, I personally would skip a big meal but it's up to what yo ucan handle.

Off topic: I see you like INdian food, so do I. I started a thread called "recipes" in here and no one has posted anytihng. Could could post an INdian dish?

Alcyone 03-18-2008 02:22 AM

There's Easter bunny hoopla here in Denmark. It's not an "American" thing, really.

I think if it were me, I'd do something that would get the whole family into it, like decorating eggs. If you just do something at people, it's not as fun as doing it with them, kwim? "It's Easter, so we're going to an Indian restaurant" isn't likely to leave a big impression but a fun day of coloring and drawing on eggs would. IMO most of the fun of Easter baskets is the anticipation of them. You wake up and run to where you left an empty basket and you find it full. That's the exciting part. If they aren't expecting anything and don't know what it's all about, I probably wouldn't bother.

But I don't do Easter anymore, so feel free to take everything I say with a grain of salt.

Merilin 03-18-2008 02:11 PM

Coloring Eggs on Saturday afternoons is a wonderful childhood memory of mine for easter preparation. Include your kids in this activity. In my culture, we don't have an easter dinner, but a big easter breakfast, we go early in the morning to church services (even if the only other time we go is Christmas).

MamaEli 03-18-2008 02:58 PM

Well, I was at the store this morning and saw all kind of cute Easter basket stuff--pretty much all the stuff I wanted--so I went ahead a got a bunch.
I mentioned to DH last night what I had in mind and he was like, "Oh yeah, about this weekend, my relatives from up north are coming. Of course, we'll have to wait until they get here to see if they really come." head:
Because, what that means is a bunch of party hardy bachelors who have a long weekend coming to club hop and wanting my DH to be designated driver. head: head: head:
We'll see how this pans out.

I guess that's where it gets frustrating, as far as family issues---maybe multicultural and maybe not.

In Kenya, holidays are really no big deal. In fact, most are just an excuse to get together and drink, especially in DH's extended family (not his mom and sis/bro.) So when I get all excited about things for us to do as a family the way I was raised, with traditions and everything, he gets pressure from his side to go out and party. At Thanksgiving, they wanted us to come up, I said NO WAY. Then there was a huge "bash" in Atlanta, so he left with a friend Thanksgiving evening after we ate dinner and was gone for the weekend. For Christmas, again, NO WAY, we went to my family's place for a week. And now this---I have a really hard time reconciling holidays with party time, and he's caught in the middle. He wants to see his family, doesn't want to upset me, and tries to comprimise. He was genuinely shocked when I said I didn't want them to come this time. (Any other weekend is fine; they stood us up two weeks ago.) Ok, so now I just venting. We'll see how things go this time...

ajv 03-22-2008 02:13 AM

easter is a religous holiday for us. we go to church, no easter bunny, but i do love easter egg hunts. we are going to two this weekend. when the kids are older i plan to buy the commercial easter baskets the DAY AFTER easter so they can have some candy and fun stuff. we did color eggs when i was a kid, then my mom would hide them the next day. now, i buy fresh eggs from a coworker and i would be afraid of salmonella--chicken poop is on them. (we live in the country)

dinner, i havent decided. literally i plan to go the store tomorrow, hoping they still have corned beef (discounted from st. patty's day) and we will have corned beef and cabbage and cornbread. my hubby is asking for cornish hens, i usually make jambalaya, but i dont seem to have as much time this year.

indian food sounds good, but i would keep it simple.

ernalala 04-07-2008 06:06 AM

Hi, Easter's over but I just want to tell I deal with similar issues here about family tradition/celebrations here.
I also got my own post on how to celebrate holidays/celebrations in a multicultural non-religious household, but it the following fits in here as well, since it really is about the practical side of it.

If ıt's about holidays/celebrations that are only/mostly done in my country, it's of course me ending up doing all the work for it. I really enjoy those celebrations myself but it is not fun if I end up doing all preparations and it seems hardly appreciated at times. Well, I admit that I often got kisses from my husband how sweet it is from me to do all this, and to make it such special events for the kids. But my kids are still small and the smallest (2) only now starts to enjoy and understand things like birthdays and (pagan) Easter etc. I really want to pass on these cosy and fun family traditions, they are things to look forward to for kids during the year, and the longing for it is so much part of the fun! I guess that over the next years I'll let the kids co-operate in preparation as well, also part of the fun, and than it's not me alone anymore :-). My (muslim-raised) husband is not to blame really, these are not his traditions (birthdays are not generally celebrated in Turkey, definitely not by my ILs, and only the younger generations started to celebrate their children's birthdays over the last decade or so - I think) at all and he doesn't have a clue really what to do about them, and even if he would try to help it is not much of a help since I would have to 'guide' him and he is really not a kid anymore :-).
So if it's about birthday, X-mas or other decorations, it's mainly me doing it all. About getting presents mostly me as well. My HB tends to buy new clothes as presents for the kids (more in his tradition). I more focus on chocolat/speculaas/toys for St.Nikolaas, toy/presents/cake/party for a birthday, and more useful presents for X-mas (books, towel, sth we need for the house, fun things...), and Easter in our house is about eggs.
For St-Niklaas we put an empty shoe at the front door where the kids find a surprise the next morning. They may find mandarines (?) around the house as well, and a present.

Haha. Easter. My kids do not like to eat cooked eggs. So I skip that one for now. They may go for a chocolate egg hunt in the garden or on the terrace, depending on the weather. I give them a basket and they do the search. The cat helps out :-). When we're lucky we get chocolate eggs from Belgium. Here I can get those chocolate eggs of 'Kinderschokolade' with a toy hidden in it, otherwise I'll have to invent a placebo for the eggs.
Easter dinner is not being done anymore in my household.

X-mas dinner we do. Only, last year, after a full anmd busy afternoon in the kitchen, everything was ready, perfectly timed and would be served at the table. When my 4y old suddenly had the wonderful idea to run towards the serving plate with all the knives and forks, plates, glasses and bowls (empty - pfew) -which I put on our pass-through window sill for my HB to bring to the table- and the unfortunate boy got everything smashed on the kitchen floor: glass, broken pieces everywhere in the kitchen. I was on my socks and I got almost a heart attack from the noise behind me. And very . And so far for the perfectly timed cooking. Cleaning up took close to half an hour. At least my husband took action there. Dinner was cold again. Kids extremely hungry therefore crancky. And they ended up not eating half of what I'd cooked.
And I got to blame myself and THAT UGLY DUCK! Because I was the one who bought that drink-in-a-bottle with a toy-duck's head at the top, and it was that one my son had seen on the plate and had been running to grab... Now, the duck is still around and the joke is that she was the one who spoiled our last X-mas dinner. So if we want to blame anyone for sth going wrong, let's blame the duck!

ernalala 04-07-2008 06:19 AM

Oh yeah.

forgot to mention: HB went out on Easter day. I was home with the kids and my devote muslim MIL (2 week stay-over). It had rained extensively so the garden was all mud. So all factors to postpone our pagan easter celebration to the next sunday. Only then, it also rained a lot. The easter hunt took place on the covered terrace. Kids are small and there is nothing about easter in their environment except from what mom shows them, so they did not have a clue it really was easter one week earlier :-).

It's been happening quite often that we had ILs visiting in a period with a 'christian' origin or other celebration, strange and/or unknown to them. I do not feel comfortable at all about celebrating then. And I'd really rather have, too, that we won't have any visitors (who do not understand the tradition or importance of that celebration) on such a day. Or to visit my ILs where we cannot celebrate my traditions while staying over at theirs. Because those times it ends up to be a total non-celebration, or it's veeeery low profile and almost hidden. Which is not fun at all.

I wonder how others with mixed traditions experience such 'difficult' situations?


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