Like those of you who mentioned curious questions, I find that I don't mind those types of questions anymore. I do, however, mind the stupid or rude ones like, "did her birth mom know that you were going to raise her vegetarian when you adopted her?" Fortunately, people do seem to have stopped asking or looking so curious as my girls have gotten older.
All sorts of colored cashiers probably would ask the same thing too.
Most people are curious..that's all I think. I don't think you should be offended.
That shirt IMO is lame.
I never ask that question anyway because it is like asking an overwieght person when is the baby due? They may not be pregnant...how embarrassing...!!!
Two completely different questions, IMO. And I HAVE been asked when I was due...lol I wanted to cry!!
When the lady asked me I was looking at infant clothing for my pregnant sister..so...I don't think it was just because I had a big 2 year postpartum bellY I did reply with "I was due two years ago" Since my youngest and last child was 2 yo. haha She looked more embarrassed than I.
Last week, my dd (4.5 yrs), ds (16 months) and I went to Babies R Us for a registry gift. The (white) cashier asked, "Are those your children?" I said, "Yes." Then she paused and said, "They're beautiful." Of course, I said thanks.
My dd then asked, "Mom, why did she ask if we are your children?" :
I said, "Maybe she didn't hear you call me mom," and I shrugged. The cashier then said, "Oh, well lots of people come in here with their friends' children. That's why I asked."
I think she may have thought that I was the caretaker. I'm AA and my children are biracial. I get that a lot. People aren't sure and they tip toe around the issue, but this was the first time I've been asked outright like that.
Has that happened to any of you? How did/do you deal with it? Would you put your baby in this t-shirt?
CoSleeping, BabyWearing, Breastfeeding, PT Cding
🐢🐢A new little turtle is about to join our crazy part of the ocean!!!🐢🐢
Already!?!?! ~ Lori, doula, childbirth educator, wife to Jermaine 6/04, and mom to two happy and energetic boys - Tatum 6/06 and Keegan 3/09
Join the website and in on the fun that is beginning over the past few months - it's http://mixedandhappy.com/
My husbands features tend to confuse most grown ups and they usually shoot for Filipino or "Chinese". One time an older man asked him if his whole family was from Japan, but anyway.
My funniest story I have about this involves a child.
I worked at a daycare center several years ago and he came to pick up our three year old daughter. I kissed her and him good bye and they left.
Another 3 year old little girl came up to me just bawling her poor little eyes out, she couldn't even talk. I picked her up, looking her over to see where she was hurt, and there wasn't anything I could see. When she finally calmed down a bit she was upset with me
"Why did you let "J"'s daddy take Bela"?
J's daddy is Vietnamese.
I had to hug her and explain that that was Bela's daddy, not J's and we only let the right Mommies and Daddies take home their own children. She seemed okay with it, but gave my husband a really good looking over the next time he was in the building. I still give him a hard time about that one.
I have green eyes, dark olive complexion and dark brown hair, from what I hear I'm very "exotic looking" being half lebanese and half african american
My husband is polish, blonde hair (dirty blonde) and blue eyes and white but tans very nicely and easily.
My son however is the fairest skin child ever, and his hair is so blonde it's almost white and he has big blue eyes. He's so beautiful! people always are so surprised that he's mine and then give me the surprised look like that little blonde child came from me. It's annoying. What's extra annoying is the oh he looks like his dad I bet comments even though he is the spitting image of me (other then coloring) but they overlook it. hmph.
him: http://tinypic.com/r/2m6299h/6 (not the best picture to capture it but mehhh)
homeschooling mom to coco (9/2006)
baby house to a new little (1/2015)
However, my husband's SIL (also an interracial marriage) has twice had someone say to her, "Your children are beautiful. Are they adopted?" which combines the insensitive questions with insulting her looks. She just makes light of it, but boy, some people really don't think before opening their mouths!
The one that stuck with me the most was me walking out of the public library holding dd's hand when she was about 3 or 4. A woman came up along side us and literally pulled dd's hand out of mine, pushed her ahead of me, and told her that she'd "better catch up with your mommy" -- an East Indian woman ahead of me. Dd started to cry, grabbed onto me, and yelled "mommy!!"
As for the shirt, I prob wouldn't put it on my kids, but that's just me.
Mommy to beauties DS1 (7), DS2 (4, autism), & DS3 (2)
and many angel babies