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#211 of 222 Old 01-20-2010, 01:42 AM
 
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I found that this happened a lot more when my dds were younger. I am reddish blond and pale. Dh is very dark Italian. While they really aren't bi-racial in that we are both of European decent, our girls are much darker than am I (nearly black hair, brown eyes, and dark olive skin for dd#1). With dd#1, who was unfortunately the more sensitive to it, we had some really unfortunate experiences when she was young. The one that stuck with me the most was me walking out of the public library holding dd's hand when she was about 3 or 4. A woman came up along side us and literally pulled dd's hand out of mine, pushed her ahead of me, and told her that she'd "better catch up with your mommy" -- an East Indian woman ahead of me. Dd started to cry, grabbed onto me, and yelled "mommy!!"

Like those of you who mentioned curious questions, I find that I don't mind those types of questions anymore. I do, however, mind the stupid or rude ones like, "did her birth mom know that you were going to raise her vegetarian when you adopted her?" Fortunately, people do seem to have stopped asking or looking so curious as my girls have gotten older.
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#212 of 222 Old 01-21-2010, 11:39 AM
 
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I have no idea why the race of the cashier was mentioned in your OP. LOL
All sorts of colored cashiers probably would ask the same thing too.
Most people are curious..that's all I think. I don't think you should be offended.
That shirt IMO is lame.

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#213 of 222 Old 01-21-2010, 11:41 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Peepsqueak View Post
I never ask that question anyway because it is like asking an overwieght person when is the baby due? They may not be pregnant...how embarrassing...!!!
Really? you think both questions are on the same level of rudeness? I don't.
Two completely different questions, IMO. And I HAVE been asked when I was due...lol I wanted to cry!!
When the lady asked me I was looking at infant clothing for my pregnant sister..so...I don't think it was just because I had a big 2 year postpartum bellY I did reply with "I was due two years ago" Since my youngest and last child was 2 yo. haha She looked more embarrassed than I.

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#214 of 222 Old 01-21-2010, 11:51 AM
 
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Originally Posted by olliepop View Post
Last week, my dd (4.5 yrs), ds (16 months) and I went to Babies R Us for a registry gift. The (white) cashier asked, "Are those your children?" I said, "Yes." Then she paused and said, "They're beautiful." Of course, I said thanks.

My dd then asked, "Mom, why did she ask if we are your children?" :
I said, "Maybe she didn't hear you call me mom," and I shrugged. The cashier then said, "Oh, well lots of people come in here with their friends' children. That's why I asked."

I think she may have thought that I was the caretaker. I'm AA and my children are biracial. I get that a lot. People aren't sure and they tip toe around the issue, but this was the first time I've been asked outright like that.

Has that happened to any of you? How did/do you deal with it? Would you put your baby in this t-shirt?
I haven't been asked myself, but my great friend who has albinism is asked often when we go out with her twins (they are all AA) people dont' seem to notice that other than skin color, they look EXACTLY LIKE HER!! lol Sometimes you really wonder about people...sigh

~Marla~
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#215 of 222 Old 02-17-2010, 12:15 PM
 
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Join the website and in on the fun that is beginning over the past few months - it's http://mixedandhappy.com/

Already!?!?! cold.gif  ~ Lori, doula, childbirth educator, wife to Jermaine 6/04, and mom to two happy and energetic boys - Tatum 6/06 and Keegan 3/09

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#216 of 222 Old 02-17-2010, 05:33 PM
 
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Originally Posted by mom2tatum View Post
Join the website and in on the fun that is beginning over the past few months - it's http://mixedandhappy.com/
It's a pretty cool site.

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#217 of 222 Old 02-17-2010, 06:49 PM
 
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My husband is Honduran and our daughter picked up most of my coloring in the genetic crap shoot. She does look like she has a killer tan and you can pick out their similarities if you know them both, but she's my mini me. Here's a photo
http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pi...&id=1122817329
My husbands features tend to confuse most grown ups and they usually shoot for Filipino or "Chinese". One time an older man asked him if his whole family was from Japan, but anyway.
My funniest story I have about this involves a child.
I worked at a daycare center several years ago and he came to pick up our three year old daughter. I kissed her and him good bye and they left.
Another 3 year old little girl came up to me just bawling her poor little eyes out, she couldn't even talk. I picked her up, looking her over to see where she was hurt, and there wasn't anything I could see. When she finally calmed down a bit she was upset with me
"Why did you let "J"'s daddy take Bela"?
J's daddy is Vietnamese.
I had to hug her and explain that that was Bela's daddy, not J's and we only let the right Mommies and Daddies take home their own children. She seemed okay with it, but gave my husband a really good looking over the next time he was in the building. I still give him a hard time about that one.
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#218 of 222 Old 02-20-2010, 03:39 PM
 
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I get this ALL THE TIME!

I have green eyes, dark olive complexion and dark brown hair, from what I hear I'm very "exotic looking" being half lebanese and half african american

My husband is polish, blonde hair (dirty blonde) and blue eyes and white but tans very nicely and easily.

My son however is the fairest skin child ever, and his hair is so blonde it's almost white and he has big blue eyes. He's so beautiful! people always are so surprised that he's mine and then give me the surprised look like that little blonde child came from me. It's annoying. What's extra annoying is the oh he looks like his dad I bet comments even though he is the spitting image of me (other then coloring) but they overlook it. hmph.

edit:


me: http://photos-c.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos..._8315791_n.jpg

him: http://tinypic.com/r/2m6299h/6 (not the best picture to capture it but mehhh)

homeschooling mom to coco (9/2006)

baby house to a new little (1/2015)
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#219 of 222 Old 02-21-2010, 11:06 AM
 
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I have never been asked this directly, but I can see people wondering it. Mostly, people ask me where my daughter got her HUGE brown eyes (mine are small and blue). I usually tell them that her father has brown eyes and leave it a that because I know that I am not answering the question that they are really asking.

However, my husband's SIL (also an interracial marriage) has twice had someone say to her, "Your children are beautiful. Are they adopted?" which combines the insensitive questions with insulting her looks. She just makes light of it, but boy, some people really don't think before opening their mouths!
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#220 of 222 Old 02-21-2010, 11:53 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ChristaN View Post
The one that stuck with me the most was me walking out of the public library holding dd's hand when she was about 3 or 4. A woman came up along side us and literally pulled dd's hand out of mine, pushed her ahead of me, and told her that she'd "better catch up with your mommy" -- an East Indian woman ahead of me. Dd started to cry, grabbed onto me, and yelled "mommy!!"
OMG!!! That must have been a terrible experience for both of you. I am so sorry that happened to you.

I'm Olivia. I blog about physiological childbirth, homebirth, and unassisted homebirth!
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#221 of 222 Old 03-10-2010, 04:59 PM
 
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I did not read all the replies, but personally that cashier had no business asking that in the first place. What difference does it make? Besides, I see white mothers with adopted children from many races here where I live so I never assume anything. I think it is wonderful that motherhood is universal.
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#222 of 222 Old 03-16-2010, 12:02 PM
 
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My husband has been asked this before as well.

Our family:

http://i10.photobucket.com/albums/a1...7/105_1575.jpg

As for the shirt, I prob wouldn't put it on my kids, but that's just me.

Mommy to beauties DS1 (7), DS2 (4, autism), & DS3 (2)

and many angel babies angel1.gif

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