Matri or patri-local? - Mothering Forums

View Poll Results: Where do you currently live?
My home country/culture 38 55.88%
My dp's home country/culture 18 26.47%
a third country/culture (not home to either) 7 10.29%
Other 5 7.35%
Voters: 68. You may not vote on this poll

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#1 of 26 Old 06-17-2008, 01:45 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Puttin' my anthropologist hat on for a sec... I am curious whether folks live in their dp's home country/culture, their home country/culture, or in a third country/culture.

By "home" I mean of birth, or place you tend to tell folks "where you come from".

Comments on whether you plan to stay, move, preferences, etc are great.

This is just about my curiosity about everyone else on this forum!

ETA: we met in his home country (UK) but moved and are permanently settled in the US (my home country). If we move abroad again, we believe it will be to a third country.

ETA2: I did forgot "both home country!" sorry about that. I cannot figure out how to add another poll item, so put those posts under "other".

You know the attributes for a great adult? Initiative, creativity, intellectual curiosity? They make for a helluva kid...
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#2 of 26 Old 06-17-2008, 02:51 AM
 
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I'm from the Philippines and DH is American and we live in the US now.
We really don't see ourselves moving to the Philippines but we have discussed the possibility of migrating to other countries (Australia, New Zealand, South America). It's still a pipe dream though.
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#3 of 26 Old 06-17-2008, 02:59 AM
 
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I'm American, DH is Danish, and we're in Denmark. We don't have plans to move, but if a good opportunity came up we aren't averse to it. We met online and "commuted" for a few years before getting married and settling in the country with the better job offer.
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#4 of 26 Old 06-17-2008, 03:34 AM
 
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Both DH and I are are 2nd generation canadians. We grew up in Canada and consider ourselves canadians but have strong connections to our parents' cultures (me: french/belgian and zimbabwean/south african, dh: polish/ukrainian and english). We live in South Korea now and plan on moving to New Zealand in the near future. We have no plans (yet) of ever moving back to Canada or to our parents' home countries. We are strange ducks that wander the earth...

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#5 of 26 Old 06-17-2008, 04:00 AM
 
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I'm American, DH is Turkish, and we live in Istanbul--today. We hop on the plane tomorrow to return to the US for a few years, hopefully until DD graduates high school, then planning to return to Istanbul for DS to go to school here.
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#6 of 26 Old 06-17-2008, 05:36 AM
 
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I'm Californian, DH is Roman.
We live in Rome and DD was born here.
We're both classical musicians and the truth is that it is easier for us to make a living as musicians (ie: no "day-job") here in Italy.
We just bought a music studio and it's being pretty successful so it looks like we're going to be staying in Italy for a while.
Also, health-care and daycare are free, or very nearly free which is a big help to struggling musicians.
I'd like to go back to live in the US eventually, but it probably won't be any time soon. 'Til then, I go back for frequent visits.

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#7 of 26 Old 06-17-2008, 09:51 AM
 
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I'm Canadian, dh is Swedish. We met in germany, lived in Sweden for 3 years, and now we are living in Canada, and will probably stay here.
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#8 of 26 Old 06-17-2008, 11:14 AM
 
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I clicked other. Because technically speaking, Puerto Ricans are US citizens and I do think of the States as being my home country in that way. But PR is Home-home, that place where I associate myself with culturally which is distinctively un-American.

Dh is American.
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#9 of 26 Old 06-17-2008, 11:30 AM
 
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You forgot the option of both our home country's. We're different cultures/race etc. but were both born in Canada and consider it our home. DH is trying to convince me to move to Ireland, but I'm not hearing of it.

Don't trust anyone under 5! Mom to 3 boys under 5. Blogging to save my sanity.
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#10 of 26 Old 06-17-2008, 05:42 PM
 
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I voted "other" as our situation is kind of confusing...
I'm English, DH was born in the US, to a Cuban dad and an Israeli/French mum, they moved to France when DH was 2 and then they moved to ISrael when he was 9.
But really, he says he's Israeli with French and Cuban ancestry as well as Israeli.

We're now in the US, but we're nomads really, we spend time between Israel, England, France and the US, we're planning to settle in another country though, but that's not going to happen anytime soon.
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#11 of 26 Old 06-17-2008, 05:53 PM
 
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I voted other. I suppose I could have voted that we live in my home country (USA) and DH is the immigrant (Canada), but it wouldn't really reflect our complicated reality.

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#12 of 26 Old 06-17-2008, 07:06 PM
 
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My dad is from scotland, my mom is from germany but grew up here, they met here and lived in holland then moved back to have me, my husbands side is from mexico but he was also born here.... so I guess were all here now!
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#13 of 26 Old 06-18-2008, 01:03 AM
 
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Other. Hubby is 4th generation Japanese-American, My mom is 3 rd generation Japanese-American. Dad's family has been here since the 1600's. My maternal grandmother is the only immigrant in my immediate family (she came over from Japan in 1952).
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#14 of 26 Old 06-18-2008, 07:39 AM
 
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I am American and my husband German. We lived over in Germany for a few years than came back to the US for a few years. Ideally, we would like to live in a third country, but right now that is what we got.
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#15 of 26 Old 06-18-2008, 08:46 AM
 
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I'm American, DH is Iranian and we live in the US.
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#16 of 26 Old 06-18-2008, 11:40 AM
 
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We live in the States (my culture). We plan to live in Egypt or the United Arab Emirates for a few years though--but it probably won't be for a few years. Don't think it will be permanent, but we want our kids to know both and feel comfortable in both. We also want to make the move before the kids are too old to pick up Arabic with a relatively good accent.

Mom to DS(8), DS(6), DD(4), and DS(1).  "Kids do as well as they can."

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#17 of 26 Old 06-18-2008, 12:59 PM
 
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3rd country sort of.
I am Canadian living in the US. Son was born in United States, is American (w/ dual citizenship) and lives with me. Partner is Turkish and is currently working in Istanbul.

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#18 of 26 Old 06-18-2008, 04:45 PM
 
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We currently live in my home country. Me and dp met and conceived in his home country and within the next year we will be moving to a third country.

Mamma to dd1 3/8/07, one 9.5.08, and dd2 9/9/09
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#19 of 26 Old 06-19-2008, 03:11 PM
 
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I am American, dh is Ethiopian.

We married in Ethiopia and lived there for 3 months.

We've been in America since then (going on 6 years).

We are hoping to move back to Ethiopia at some point, or at least have the means to visit back and forth.

But dh really, really, really wants to live in Israel.

I'm not sure we fit in a box really, but I voted my country since that's our current situation.
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#20 of 26 Old 06-20-2008, 07:52 AM
 
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I am American living with my German husband in Germany..

We have been married for 4 years, and always have lived in Germany.

We have 1 son.

We plan to have one more baby here, for economic reasons, before moving to America in about 3 years. (Its my husband's dream to live in Florida)
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#21 of 26 Old 06-20-2008, 05:59 PM
 
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I voted MY home country, though DH has recently become a US citizen so technically it's both our country now!
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#22 of 26 Old 06-22-2008, 08:49 PM
 
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Very interesting poll!

DH and I are both Americans; he is Japanese-American and grew up in Hawaii. Nearly his whole extended family lives there. I am white and my family lives in Oregon/Washington. We live in Oregon right now, and probably will stay here or Washington for a long time.

We would love to move to Hawaii, but the cost of living there would kill us. It is astronomical. Also, my extended family is very small and I'm an only child. It would absolutely crush my mother if we moved so far away.

OTOH, DH's family is so big and wonderful, and I'm sad that DD doesn't get to have them in her day-to-day life. Plus, growing up hapa in Hawaii is pretty pretty normal, whereas on the mainland it's still seen as a little bit different/unusual.

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#23 of 26 Old 06-22-2008, 08:50 PM
 
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I'm Southern, dp is from California.

We live in California.
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#24 of 26 Old 06-23-2008, 12:31 PM
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Currently in my home country, although at different points we have done all of the above.

When dh and I met and married, we lived in his home country.

By the time dd was born, we were living in a third country.

When dd was about 2 months old, we moved to my home country, where we currently reside.

PhDin' mama to dd (Oct. 2005)
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#25 of 26 Old 07-25-2008, 07:33 PM
 
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My husband is Lebanese, I'm American, and we live in the US. He came to the US for education and stayed. If job opportunities were better in Lebanon, we would likely live there.

Like many Lebanese people living in the US, we think of moving to the Middle East, to UAE or Qatar to be closer to Lebanon. But, having both come from nominal democracies where the will of the people is at least given lip service, it doesn't appeal to us to make a home in a place where we have no say at all in how the country works.


Mama to a bilingual (Arabic/English) and cuddly 3 year old, and planning another peaceful homebirth in June.
 

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#26 of 26 Old 08-02-2008, 01:07 AM
 
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hmmm.. I went with Dh's home country, but I need to clarify:

I moved to the U.S in my early teens and it feels like home although I'm not a citizen. Most people assume I'm American because I am very much culturally assimilated and don't have an accent.

Dh was born and raised here.

Mama to a 3.5 yo dd
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