Join Date: May 2002
Location: Dreaming of the Bavarian Alps
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Dh is from Turkey, we live in the US. It used to be so easy to go visit them before dd started getting bigger/going to school. Now we can either go after school (mid June) or at Christmas. Dh is not Turkish, he's ethnically Armenian, and he's not Muslim. Dd is going to be 7 in Feb. This year, she is already getting very excited about Christmas. We do Santa and the whole bit. I remember the magic of Christmas and Santa... it lasted until I was about 8 or 9. Those Christmases are among my favorite memories. Dd seems equally excited.
As we have done so many years in the past, dh wants to go back to visit his family over Christmas break again this year. Since Christmas isn't celebrated in Turkey (they do make a big to-do out of New Year's), I don't want to go this year. This will be the first year that dd is really excited about Christmas. We are very non-materialistic and she doesn't get a bunch of gifts, but last year we spent a lot of time going to things like the Zoo celebration, making gifts, visiting family, etc. While she didn't understand it a lot, she remembers it and is already asking to start Christmas crafts, etc. (FTR - we are not religious at all... we celebrate it as a secular holiday).
Okay - I think you get the point. I don't want to go to Turkey this year (we have been back 11 times in 10 years, and dd has been there 5 times). I want to stay home and celebrate Christmas.
Flip side of it, though, is we weren't able to go back this past June because I have rosacea (things like heat make your face red and inflamed... it's very uncomfortable and sometimes even painful) and they do not have air conditioning. I am getting treatments for the rosacea starting in October, so I may be able to go this June.
Dh thinks I am being completely unfair, because it will then be 2 years since visiting his family. His comment was, "Fine, we won't go and I'll just cut my ties to my family!" I told him to not be so damned dramatic and that most people don't go to visit their family every SINGLE year... and that the families are also willing to reciprocate the visits. They have *plenty* of money and could actually afford it better than us because of the weakness of the dollar and this darned recession.
I think he and his family are being a little bit unfair because they absolutely REFUSE to come visit us. They ALWAYS have an excuse. If they really want to see us, they can come at Christmas. I don't mind going, it's just getting harder and harder to go with schedules (I work part-time now, too, so my schedule is a factor), school, holidays, money, etc. It'd be nice to not have to feel obligated to go every year, ykwim?
Sorry for my ramblings!
Thoughts? Am I being unreasonable? How often do you go visit family overseas?