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#1 of 10 Old 03-20-2009, 07:31 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I am not sure what forum this belongs in...so feel free to suggest, or move....

I currently have a toddler (18months) and our family is a CL family and we intend to RU.

Im feeling like a really bad mama lately. My toddler is amazing. She really is, arent they all? She is quite content to play by herself, normally its climbing things, and knitting (she doesnt actually knit..but I am trying to show her when I know). She is also quite happy to play with me.

The thing is - she doesnt care. She has no interest in puzzles, no interest in colouring, no interest blocks, doesnt care for balls, no real big interest in books, doesnt even care about the TV no interest in nature: yes she likes going for walks, and we do A LOT of that. She also likes listening to music, NOT musical instruments or me singing.

I know she is only 18months - but I feel so horribly guilty! I feel like I should be doing more things with her instead of sitting on the computer on mdc, or working with my non profit, or my moms group. But she honestly expresses no interest in things when I try to engage her.

I dont want to force her to do puzzles, yk?, and I dont want to force her to have interests - but at the same time, I feel guilty because for the majority of the day she is happily playing by herself with random weird things (water bottles). She speaks fine, meets milestones - Im not worried about her development. I just feel like I should be 'doing' more with her - but she doesnt really want me to.

Her one passion is climbing - and she climbs...and she climbs more. And I encourage that, and we are hoping to be able to use the indoor rock climbing facility when she is 3...but for now...Im at a loss.

So..am I a bad mom? Should I be doing more? What should I be doing? What activities..I dont want to force them..but is it forcing her when she is this young (I think so...).

Lindsay: DS#1 (06/06) DD#1 (09/07) DS#2 (10/08) DD#2 (06/09). AND A BABY DUE NOVEMBER 2013

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#2 of 10 Old 03-20-2009, 07:57 PM
 
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She sounds delightful. Want to trade?

I think if you're following her lead and not neglecting her in any way (sounds like you're not) you should just relax! 18 mos. is pretty young to enjoy much of anything structured or schooly or even puzzles. Don't worry. She'll get there and she will show you what she likes.

Erin caffix.gif , Happy wife of Honey Bearguitar.gif , mom of Curly Miss (11/04), Little Mister (10/06), Princess Abi (3/08), and The Bean (9/09) jumpers.gifadoptionheart-1.gif  <>< oh, and I blog.

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#3 of 10 Old 03-20-2009, 08:14 PM
 
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#4 of 10 Old 03-20-2009, 08:16 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Its not even that I think she should be doing schooly things - I guess Im suffering from comparing her to other kids her age...her best friend is in love with colouring (19months) another girl will play pass with a ball (15months) - but she just has no interest in any of that. I mean she's happy - so I guess thats the important thing...

Lindsay: DS#1 (06/06) DD#1 (09/07) DS#2 (10/08) DD#2 (06/09). AND A BABY DUE NOVEMBER 2013

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#5 of 10 Old 03-20-2009, 08:30 PM
 
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Originally Posted by poiyt View Post
Its not even that I think she should be doing schooly things - I guess Im suffering from comparing her to other kids her age...her best friend is in love with colouring (19months) another girl will play pass with a ball (15months) - but she just has no interest in any of that. I mean she's happy - so I guess thats the important thing...
We all get caught in that trap of comparing kids! My kids are no means behind, but I have a friend with a 3-y-o who is absolutely gifted. She is so "with it" if you know what I mean! I always have to stop myself and enjoy each kid for who he or she is without comparing one to another, whether friends or siblings. It isn't fair to them and it makes me worry unnecessarily.

My DD isn't particularly imaginative and when I compare her with other little creative people I wish she was. But then I give myself a little slap and start enjoying all of the wonderful things that she DOES do. I'd hate to miss those for wishing she was someone else!

Erin caffix.gif , Happy wife of Honey Bearguitar.gif , mom of Curly Miss (11/04), Little Mister (10/06), Princess Abi (3/08), and The Bean (9/09) jumpers.gifadoptionheart-1.gif  <>< oh, and I blog.

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#6 of 10 Old 03-20-2009, 09:53 PM
 
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I LOVE 18 months! I could just follow kids that age around and watch them observe things all day.

My ds was not interested in books, puzzles, tv, or coloring at that age. He sure was a busy kid, though. He liked to turn things on and off (ok, so he was interested in that aspect of the tv, lol). He liked to watch water run down the driveway. I'm sure there were a ton of other things I'm forgetting. He liked working things, started using the computer. I'd get a word processing program running, enlarge the font, and let him press keys on the keyboard. He'd also take over the mouse so we'd put up a drawing program so he could click and drag and make lines but he was probably a little older. Don't feel bad if your dd isn't interested in those things, though! My ds is definitely the mechanical type who wants to operate everything.

More recently, I remember watching my young nephew discover dust motes. He was having a blast smiling and clapping the dust specks he noticed floating in a stream of sunlight.

Kids are SO different. It's just amazing how different they are and how they are attracted to different things. Just enjoy her! :

Mom to unschooling 4everboy since 8/01
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#7 of 10 Old 03-20-2009, 11:15 PM
 
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You know, every time either of my kids (4 yo and 13 mo) has been in an easy phase, I tell myself 'appreciate it, don't feel like you need to do more, it won't last.' And then it's over and I think 'I should really have appreciated it and relaxed more.' My 13 mo old was a really easy infant, but those days are over. My 4 yo was really easy at your DD's age--about 15 months to his 2nd birthday was cake. I'm sure he'll have another easy phase one of these days .

I'm sure your DD is learning lots and happy just exploring whatever environment she's in, but if you feel like finding more outlets for her climbing, you could...

-go to new playgrounds with different structures (in my area, my county's parks and rec website has a list of playgrounds--with pictures, even, for scouting out ones my kids might like... maybe you've got something similar)

-get an indoor slide

-look for a museum or library or other public building with lots of outdoor steps for climbing and playing on

-build climbing structures out of couch cushions--the wobbliness of it might be fun, and the landing soft

-move the furniture around, like the dining room chairs into the hall. that's always been like a climbing siren song for my 4yo

...you may be doing all that, or similar. Just throwing things out there

Emily
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#8 of 10 Old 03-20-2009, 11:24 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by 4evermom View Post
I LOVE 18 months! I could just follow kids that age around and watch them observe things all day.

My ds was not interested in books, puzzles, tv, or coloring at that age. He sure was a busy kid, though. He liked to turn things on and off (ok, so he was interested in that aspect of the tv, lol). He liked to watch water run down the driveway. I'm sure there were a ton of other things I'm forgetting. He liked working things, started using the computer. I'd get a word processing program running, enlarge the font, and let him press keys on the keyboard. He'd also take over the mouse so we'd put up a drawing program so he could click and drag and make lines but he was probably a little older. Don't feel bad if your dd isn't interested in those things, though! My ds is definitely the mechanical type who wants to operate everything.

More recently, I remember watching my young nephew discover dust motes. He was having a blast smiling and clapping the dust specks he noticed floating in a stream of sunlight.

Kids are SO different. It's just amazing how different they are and how they are attracted to different things. Just enjoy her! :

This really resonates with me, thank you! She found the dust in the sun the other day - it was awesome! And she does enjoy being on the computer - we downloaded toddler keys for that sole purpose.

Perhaps, as I am just starting this journey - I am not used to the unconventional learning aspects (like dust) whereas I can easily see the good in books or puzzles or colouring.

Lindsay: DS#1 (06/06) DD#1 (09/07) DS#2 (10/08) DD#2 (06/09). AND A BABY DUE NOVEMBER 2013

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#9 of 10 Old 03-21-2009, 10:35 AM
 
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Through waving or clapping the dust around and observing how it moves, the child is learning all sorts of things like currents, the power of air, cause and effect. We're talking third grade science!

Mom to unschooling 4everboy since 8/01
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#10 of 10 Old 03-22-2009, 12:44 AM
 
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With my DS his love of climbing evolved into his current love of jumping. He likes to climb in order to jump now We have a little folding trampoline that's good fun and can be used indoors and outdoors. Maybe your DD would like that too? Although I do think it sounds like you have nothing to worry about and it is great that your DD is happy following her own interests rather than needing constant entertainment provided

Mothering a beautiful boy

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