I have posted in this forum about money/alowance before, and really benefitted from the thoughts i've had based on replies. Now I need similar input again.
My eldest has a paper route. I suggested it years ago as a way for him to make money. We do not do allowance or give them any money, but we also do not deny them a purchase if they seek something out (something affordable like a $20 lego set or a trinket at the summer market). So, there has never been a need to 'give' them money.
but then he started wanting bigger stuff, more $$$, so the route was suggested.
He saves up his route money and then buys the big ticket item, then saves again.
I've always thought I was being a 'good' parent, because I am giving him a clear sense of money and the value of work at a young age. but lately I'm questioning this.
I've never asked him if he *wants* this job, but rather that it is the only realistic way for him to earn his own money. and so he's done it. other friends are given money for their b-days, from distant relatives, and he sees the hundreds of dollars they have. but they are not buying anything extravagant, my son is not in a position of wanting things his friends have, they are all on an an even monetary/lifestyle level.
Anyway, what are your thoughts? Definitly having the route has been imposed on him by us in one sense, because we've always said if you want money you need to go get/earn it. "just like we do".
I want to ask hi if he actually wants to go out in the rain and do this.
Sure it's a life lesson, but as our first born, he's gotten al the rules/dogma I parented by in his younger days, whereas my perspective has changed since then (thank you Sandra Dodd) and now I'm questioning the things he does because 'that's what we do". kwim?
My daughters don't live like him because they've been raised by the more RU-like mom in me, the one I'm working on each day. This is most confusing for my rule-comforted son to, I think. but that's for another thread.
I appreciated the perspective in the allowance thread about how extra $$ in the family is for all, that we all share it.
It would likely be different if our kids wanted lots of things, were always asking for things. but they aren't.
I'm not sure what else to say. I want to be as clear/provide as much info as possible, but I'm also guilty of over-explaining. so I'l stop now.