Originally Posted by campbellsoup
Even though the doctor was not a jerk, CPS was called on them.
From what I've heard, it may not even have been the doctor or anyone directly involved with her care who made the call. Anyone in the hospital, even someone from housekeeping or dietary, may hear about a homebirth and think "Oh how awful! What a horrid risk!" and hotline the mother.
My midwife prepared me for this possibility before dd2 was born, though she said it was only a remote possibility since I probably wouldn't need to transfer, and even if I did it was unlikely that anything bad would happen. Of course you can always pretend you were planning to give birth in hospital but things happened "so fast."
Only if like me you also never saw a doctor during pregnancy, they might be suspicious. Thankfully I, like most mothers who give birth without interference, had absolutley no complications.
my sister and my ILs are not mandatory reporters. I am not a mandatory reporter. I don't have a problem with mandatory reporters doing their job.
I do have a problem with my ILs threatening to call (or calling) because they don't like that we didn't circumcise our son and that we EC'd, which they determined would lead to a filthy, poop-filled house and a filthy, diseased penis. Of course, my house is cleaner than theirs, and obviously my son's penis is neither filthy nor diseased.
so, i would absolutely cut someone out for being an a-hole. if you feel you have grounds, as a mandatory reporter, to call, then do so. it would certainly be for something other than "you EC!"
My husband is always a bit concerned that someone is going to call CPS on us. It crosses my mind as well even though I KNOW they don't want my kids. I worked as a child advocate and I totally agree - if the child is physically safe, has access to food, has access to medical care WHEN NEEDED and has access to education, the child will not be taken away. What most people don't realize is that (at least in my state) even if kids are removed, they are generally placed as fast as possible (same day often) with close family, like a grandparent. When kids are removed, there are more things going wrong than what we see from the outside. Most of the time, drugs are involved and just behind that is abuse generally alleged by one of the kids. CPS is ALWAYS about reunification between the family members, even in cases of physical abuse.
If your kids are happy, not so socially isolated that they are scared to leave the house, kept fed and taken for medical care when needed, say your prayers and know that you are doing a great job.
We unschool (homeschool to the world), DS 10 is just getting the hang of reading and could not tell you the times table if my life depended on it. We have medicade for the children and the last time he was at the dr was when he was 3 and broke his arm - the only time he had ever gone to the doc. (DD has been twice in 16 yrs and DS 7 has been 4-5 times due to illness - each gets what is needed)
3 weeks ago he broke the same arm. This time it involved a ER visit, doctor visit, surgery, another doctor visit and visits every 2 weeks for the next 8 weeks. No one has given us any grief at all. Everyone has been wonderful, supportive and believes that my kids are so smart because they all watched the procedures in the ER and office, asked questions, answered questions and were not to shy too interact.
I should add that even though I feel it's extremely unlikely that CPS in my state would ever take a child without evidence of severe abuse or neglect, I do sometimes wonder, now that they have a "file" on us, if there might be some risk of them doing more than a quick assessment should they get another report on us in the future.
I don't think my children are at risk of getting taken, but I feel there could be some risk of a case being opened just to see if we might "benefit" from further intervention.
EllyMayMomma's comment about her son not being too shy made me think of a woman I know whose children are now grown, who told me that she was forced to place one of her sons in preschool at age 3 or 4, after the doctor got so concerned about his "extreme introversion" that CPS was contacted, and it was determined that this child could benefit from spending some time away from his mom so he wouldn't be so scared of strangers.
She said he remained extremely introverted in spite of all this intervention, but he is also extremely brilliant and I think he ended up getting some sort of engineering degree in Germany.
My girls are both very extraverted, but when we were seeing an Occupational Therapist to learn more about how to help dd2 with her sensory issues (she is sensory seeking), this OT seemed to think that one answer was to get her into more situations with other children.
She actually gets along just great with other children now, but this was after I'd spent several months doing a lot of avoidance of group situations with her. It was maturity and development of empathy that helped her, not being thrown into groups of kids.
I found a way to discontinue the OT while pretending to agree with many of her views, because I was honestly a little scared that she might be concerned that we were neglecting what she saw as dd's needs to have more interaction with other children, and more structured, preschool-type experiences where she could learn that she had to sit at the table and cut, or whatever the adult wanted her to do, until such time as the adult told her she could get up.
I asked her for a reading list, and explained that I felt she'd given me a lot of good information that I'd be able to continue with at home, and I mentioned the creative movement class she was taking at homeschool co-op, so she'd be assured that I was realizing the importantce of structure.