Any preggo mama Unschoolers here? Need motivation help... - Mothering Forums
Forum Jump: 
 
Thread Tools
#1 of 7 Old 09-03-2010, 09:51 AM - Thread Starter
 
Metasequoia's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: In the village
Posts: 5,695
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I believe in Unschooling, I really, really do. But I'm struggling with this mama guilt of not doing ANYTHING with the kids lately.
We're usually big on field trips to museums and gardens and playing with friends, but between morning sickness, then the HEAT (omg) and we're in our 6th week of pertussis - we've been really home-bound this summer.

I have all of these excellent ideas in my head - I want to go to the PA Ren Faire - Ds would LOOOOOVE it! Museums w/o crowds!! Public gardens in the cooling-down weather!! The Scottish-Irish Festival!! But I reeeeaally lack motivation. I'm 28 wks along right now and SO exhausted and achey and dizzy and...you know? It takes a lot just to waddle out to get the mail when it's 96 degrees. Thank goddess today is supposed to drop to 85 and then the 70s for the weekend. I'm SO ready for fall weather.

And I'm bummed that I'll have to miss the things I love the most because of baby. I'm due on Thanksgiving and my most favorite things are in early December - Waldorf Winter Festival - so many local crafters! And so many fun activities for the kids like candle making, etc. And then the Firebird Festival where our town has this ENORMOUS wooden Phoenix that we burn with lots of Native American chanting - and gingerbread house workshop! I *could* do the gingerbread thing at home, but baby will be very new & am I really going to have the motivation??

Okay, now I'm just complaining about everything. I came here just to complain about my lack of motivation and mama guilt about not doing anything fun.

Dd1 (10.5) is REALLY good about keeping busy. She'll read all day if I let her, sew her own clothes, knit/crochet/felt this and that, write to pen pals, play outside, etc.

Dd2 (7.5) doesn't read yet and it's becoming more of an awareness. I'm not concerned about it, she'll learn when she's ready - but maybe I should give it a try? I'm so set on being hands off, especially with reading because I think it can really backfire. But maybe she just needs me to sit down & help her out? She hasn't said anything about wanting me to help her, but people are beginning to show surprise when she tells them she can't read and I think it's beginning to take root in her mind.
She can also knit & crochet and will often make things, but she's not as focused as Dd1 in finishing a project. They're just really different learners/people and that's cool - but it makes it hard for me to switch gears & figure out what to do to help her when she's bored because her sister is reading or something.

And then there's Ds (4) who is REALLY good at playing by himself - which usually results in disaster (as far as big messes), but whatever. He's SUPER creative, making zip-lines for his knights from upstairs to downstairs (which ends up pulling the sofa table over and everything on top of it, but again - whatever.) I feel bad for him when his sisters are playing together & won't let him play too. They can be downright nasty to him. I try to play knights with him or sword fight or play catch but I can only do it for so long before I want to stick sharp objects into my eyeballs.

Homeschoolin' Mama chicken3.gifto Dd1 2/3/00, Dd2 1/13/03, Ds1 3/11/06 & Ds2 11/18/10!!
Metasequoia is offline  
#2 of 7 Old 09-03-2010, 12:48 PM
 
newcastlemama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: My happy place
Posts: 3,988
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Well I am there too at 10 weeks. I have nausea still and I just do the best I can. I am actually really happy that children can learn from anything around them because I cannot imagine trying to do a school-at-home program right now.

I don't have tons of great advice except to prioritize so you can have some energy to do those things you really want to. Your kids sound like they do well at more independent activities. Maybe you guys could brainstorm some things to do at home (crafts, cooking, get some new games ect) I am going to visit the craft store soon to get some little kits (like those little stained glass kits) and the library to get some books, CDs and DvDs.

This too shall pass s

My son wanted to give you a thumbs up

homebirth.jpg<>< Mama to DS, DD, and a new baby girl 4/1! homeschool.gifmdcblog5.gif

newcastlemama is offline  
#3 of 7 Old 09-08-2010, 08:27 PM
 
mapleleaf's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 85
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Hi, I know a bit of how you are feeling. I am 21 weeks preggo with a 5 and 4 year old. The first three months I was super low on energy, I was even having quick naps during the day. I am now feeling myself again and are busy doing things, but I know I will be slowing down a lot and in Jan when the baby comes we will be home bound for the first little bit.

Like your chlidren, mine play very well so i feel very lucky. I know I'm going to have moments of "we are not doing enough" and "the kids are n't learning anything", but they seem to come and go always so hopefully I can just take a deep breath and make it through!

I do like how my children are now old enough to comprehend somewhat of what is happening. They get to see the ultrsounds and feel baby, we tell them what is developing with the baby. I'm not sure how much or how it is interpreted in their minds. I am looking forward to them experiencing a tiny little baby and seeing how everyone will adjust to a new member of the family.

Of course I'm sure I'll be frantic when I'm getting closer to my due date....lol
mapleleaf is offline  
#4 of 7 Old 09-10-2010, 11:24 AM
 
amyjeans's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: my fourth day
Posts: 2,564
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I hear you! I am preggy, too (28 weeks) and have 4 girls already, 7,5,4,2 yrs.
Some days are fun filled with an activity or 2, but other days are just hang out days and let mama rest. Those days, my kids play with minimal guidance from me and that is okay. They keep eachother engaged all the time, one way or another, even if they are fighting. Safety is never sacrificed, of course.
What I have begun to accept is that unschooling should be more appropriatley named non-schooling and all that I learned, and experienced from a "public" structured schooling environment needs to be turned on its ear.
Sometimes they can have fun and learn without you, and by themselves!
Every single moment the kids are together, they are learning, being curious, exploring, and finding their own paths. They are free to work at play. I do have some schoolbooks for them, I can find a moment or two to sit them down and read out loud, or make my oldest do it for me.
Housework is one thing I am a stickler for- they all need to care for their clothes, beds, and selves so every morning they must follow the routine of making the beds (and helping eachother), brushing teeth, and getting dressed - but some days are jammie days *my personal favorite!*
I get the occasional guilty feeling, and sometimes I think there is a better way for them to be engaged...then I remember the mornings where my girls and I are snuggled in my big bed together sleeping and I hear the schoolbus go by...

Mama to 5 babies. UCer, too!
amyjeans is offline  
#5 of 7 Old 09-12-2010, 06:14 AM
 
OTMomma's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Northern VA
Posts: 4,460
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I currently have a one year old, and I SO remember those days. Honestly, for me to be happy, we had to walk away from the way we had been homeschooling to find something that worked for us- I didn't have the energy either pregnant or with a new baby to do all the wonderful unschooling things I would want to do. I looked around and found a structured style that suited me and my kids, so that I felt I was being invovled with them and their education. For me, I need to feel I am supplying my kids with thoughts to feed their growing brains- and if I can't get that from the community, I have to find a way to do it myself. I recently got The Ultimate book of homeschooling Ideas by Linda Dobson it has lots of unschool friendly ideas of things to do with your kids- and I highly recommend it for giving you some ideas of things you and the kids can do at home.

Also- for your middle child, can you just ask her if she wants you to work with her on reading? You may also want to offer to help her find a computer game or website that she can do on her own to help with her reading skills.

Laura, Mama to Mya 7/02, Ian 6/07 and Anna 8/09
OTMomma is offline  
#6 of 7 Old 09-22-2010, 01:46 AM
 
DirtyHippyMama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: FL
Posts: 176
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
you know me from your DDC i'm 32 wks tomorrow and i am feeling more like a lazy whale every day. i have been struggling with the same guilt (see my thread on strewing if you like -- i may have forgotten to mention that i'm pg in it).

i am trying to focus on the fact that i won't be pregnant forever, and that i will have more energy for "active" unschooling after the baby is out! granted, then i will have yet another LO to care for, but at least i will be able to move faster and stand longer.

my children do seem to be keeping busy, better than ever, and perhaps it's because they have no other choice. i hear you about the heat and being homebound -- it has been a brutal summer and our social life has gone down the tubes because of it. and to top it off, we're SUPER BROKE. i keep seeing things i want to buy for them, wanting to take them places that cost money, and i have to stop and remind myself that we just can't afford it right now. my solution has been getting the house more organized (thank you, nesting), so that we have more opportunity to use things we already have, or bring back things that have previously been put away indefinitely due to clutter/clean-up issues.

it seems like you have relaxed standards for mess, and that's a good thing! that is one thing i am constantly working on; trying to say yes more often for the sake of the child's experiences and not focusing so much on the PITA mess that may follow.

watching mama grow a new baby is an awesome learning experience in itself, esp if they are interested in leaning more about the process. my 5yo daughter loves to feel baby kick ("dance"), talks to her baby sister every day, and tells me she loves her baby sister ALL THE TIME. my 2yo watches birth videos with me on youtube, and asks for more. he knows that "baby comes out mama's 'agina". my older boys aren't as interested, but i do make a point to show them my bare belly every now and then, and they also like to feel baby moving around in there. i have told them about how my boobs will get huge after the baby is born and the "white milk" comes back, and that their 2yo brother has been nursing on "new baby milk" (colostrum ) for about a month now. i am hoping that they will want to watch the birth, too, although i will respect their wishes regarding that when the time comes and they actually witness me in labor (although i have told them several times about how much hard work is involved in birthing a baby). i see it as an invaluable learning experience for them all.

i say don't feel guilty about not being able to do as much as you'd like. you won't be pregnant forever. as for winter outings, i say just schedule it all tentatively and do what you can. unless you are super sleepy or stressed, you may find it worthwhile to just sling that baby and go for it!! will your hubby (or someone else) be able to take them to things if you don't end up feeling like it? i would be much more inclined to take my children to a festival rather than try to duplicate the experience at home (like the gingerbread houses - yikes - although my 5yo son is already talking about "ginger-bread house day"). let someone else do all the prep-work and clean-up. i remember hauling my month-old twins to the medieval faire, me in full garb (with excellent cleavage ), and nursing them in a gypsy's camp chair behind the tents or inside one of the costume shop dressing rooms. talk about the continuum concept! it was awesome, and of course we ran in to all kinds of long-lost friends and were able to show off our babies to them.

lady.gifMama of: DSjammin.gif (9), twins DDjoy.gif & DSautismribbon.gif (6), DSkid.gif (3), and DDbabygirl.gif born 11/2010
            
              

DirtyHippyMama is offline  
#7 of 7 Old 09-22-2010, 01:53 AM
 
DirtyHippyMama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: FL
Posts: 176
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by OTMomma View Post
I currently have a one year old, and I SO remember those days. Honestly, for me to be happy, we had to walk away from the way we had been homeschooling to find something that worked for us- I didn't have the energy either pregnant or with a new baby to do all the wonderful unschooling things I would want to do. I looked around and found a structured style that suited me and my kids, so that I felt I was being invovled with them and their education. For me, I need to feel I am supplying my kids with thoughts to feed their growing brains- and if I can't get that from the community, I have to find a way to do it myself. I recently got The Ultimate book of homeschooling Ideas by Linda Dobson it has lots of unschool friendly ideas of things to do with your kids- and I highly recommend it for giving you some ideas of things you and the kids can do at home.

Also- for your middle child, can you just ask her if she wants you to work with her on reading? You may also want to offer to help her find a computer game or website that she can do on her own to help with her reading skills.
i have that book within arms reach of me right now. i may have to pick it up and take another look.

reading-help websites: i highly recommend starfall.com. it is free, fun, and divided into different ability levels. my kids love it.

lady.gifMama of: DSjammin.gif (9), twins DDjoy.gif & DSautismribbon.gif (6), DSkid.gif (3), and DDbabygirl.gif born 11/2010
            
              

DirtyHippyMama is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off